


Metamorphosis

by dotti55



Category: Death Note
Genre: Death Note - Freeform, Death Note AU, Death Note Yaoi, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2017-12-21 08:24:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 111,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dotti55/pseuds/dotti55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The characters from Death Note in a different scenario. No Death Note, they are all students at Wammy's Private School. Light and Lawliet discover a mutual attraction; Beyond continues his stormy relationship with A and his animosity towards his twin brother, Lawliet; Mello separates himself from his family who doesn't understand his relationship with Matt and deals with his best friend Beyond, and Wammy comes up with a possible future for his favorite students. Some explicit scenes in later chapters, no character death, some violence in a later chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Metamorphosis

 

Hello everyone! And now for something completely different…

The idea for this story was given to me by a wonderful reader by the name of xxMAILxxJEEVASxxwho gave me all of the background information on this AU version of our favorite characters and asked me if I was interested in making a story out of it. I absolutely loved the idea, and the fact that it took the characters I write and completely change their history, no Death Note, but yet they still come together at Wammy's and some of them as the couples we're used to.

I know I'm still working on Obsessed and that's not going to suffer I promise, but I was also working on this so I thought I would share it with you.

Please let me know what you think of this, and rest assured this won't get in the way of my other stories that are working right now, but I had to get this up too.

Hugs!

Metamorphosis

Mello closed his eyes as he felt the coolness of his niece's little hand on his face. She was the only person who didn't look at him with pity; she didn't know he'd ever looked any different, why would she? He opened them again when he heard her giggle suddenly.

"What's so funny?" he asked and she giggled some more, her feet kicking wildly in his brother's arms, "It's good she looks more like her mother instead of you, Dieter." He said to his brother who ignored his statement but instead looked at his watch.

"We better get going," he told the blond teen who nodded and kissed the little girl in his brother's arms.

"Now you be good until I see you again, at least don't get caught!" he said and reached for his bag taking a good look around; he knew he wouldn't be seeing her or this house again.

"Let's go or your gonna miss your train," Dieter urged him again and Mello nodded. They walked outside where his brother's wife was waiting by the car and Dieter handed their daughter to her.

"You take care of yourself," she said to him as he opened the trunk and dropped his bag inside, "Please don't hate me Mello, I just.."

"I don't hate you Gretchen, I'm just sorry you feel the way you do," he said with a small smile.

"You don't have to do this, you don't have to leave," she told him and he sighed.

"Yes I do. If someone had told you that you couldn't be with Dieter what would you have done?"

"It's not the same thing Mello!" she defended and he shook his head.

"And because you feel that way is why I have to leave. Take good care of my niece," he said and climbed into the car. Dieter got into the car on the driver's side, started it up and drove out into the street. He glanced at Mello quickly and sighed.

"Look, she loves you she just doesn't understand," he started and Mello looked at him.

"Do you understand?" he asked and Dieter nodded.

"I understand Mello and I don't have a problem with it, but she's my wife and…"

"And I'm your brother. I expected you to stick up for me a little more," Mello interrupted, the hurt obvious in his voice.

"I tried to reason with her, I really did but the bottom line is she worried for Lisa," he tried to explain and Mello turned on him.

"What does my being gay have to do with Lisa? What would my having Matt here have to do with her at all?"

"I'm not really sure, but she went on and on about the atmosphere would be different," he answered and Mello laughed harshly.

"Oh yea, she might breathe in gay germs," he said and Dieter laughed as well.

"I know it's ridiculous but Gretchen doesn't really..she's never known…she's never met…"

"She knows me, she's known me for a while now," Mello nearly spat.

"That's different. She never really believed it until now," Dieter said quietly and Mello turned from him and looked out of the window.

"Doesn't matter anymore as I'm never coming back," he finally said and his brother hit the steering wheel.

"Don't say that! This is your home!"

"Until now, until she made it clear that the only way I'm welcome in HER home is if I deny what I am. It's her home now Dieter and everything has changed." Dieter didn't answer, he didn't know exactly what he could say because his brother was right.

Mello sat back in the seat and closed his eyes against the tears he could feel burning behind them, willing them to stay hidden.

"Hey, did you fall asleep?" Mello's eyes snapped open as he heard the voice from beside him and realized he'd been dreaming. He'd just laid back on the bed after packing his things for the trip back to Wammy's, he hadn't meant to fall asleep. He opened his eyes to see a pair of emerald green ones staring deeply into his. He reached up and ruffled the bright red hair above the eyes and smiled,

"Sorry, I was dreaming about when I left home to come here. I guess all this packing just reminded me of it." The redhead leaned down and gently kissed his forehead.

"Don't apologize, I'm sorry I caused you to leave your home," he said and Mello shook his head.

"I told you before it wasn't your fault, it was theirs. I don't regret being here with you this summer, do you Matt?" he asked and Matt shook his head as well.

"What a stupid question," he said laughing and got up from the bed, "I'm going to double check on what time the train leaves and make sure Gregor knows what time to leave."

"Okay, I'll finish up in here and meet you downstairs," Mello told him, then grabbed him and pulled him against him, kissing him deeply. Matt grinned when he was released then turned and ran out of the door.

Lawliet sighed watching the countryside rush past the window as his train moved along the tracks. This would be his final year at Wammy's, and he couldn't deny the idea saddened him. The only time he felt complete was when he was at Wammy's, the only place he felt welcomed him, and the only people he felt truly cared about him were there, Quillish Wammy and Light Yagami. Quillish Wammy had made millions as an inventor, and had turned his ancestral home into a boarding school for gifted students. He spent his time overseeing the children that came to Wammy's, making sure they met all the entrance curriculums and keeping up with them during the school year. From the first day Lawliet and his twin brother BB, had arrived for their first year at the age of 10, Wammy had taken to him immediately, as if he'd understood just how alone the young boy with the huge eyes and wild black hair had been.

Now, seven years later it would all come to an end and he had no idea where he would go or what he would do afterwards. He looked at his brother who was sleeping in the seat across from him. They were alike in facial features only; in temperament, beliefs and even eye color they differed. No one really understood why the pigmentation in B's eyes gave it a red color, they only knew it was unnerving to look at; and he knew it and used it to his advantage often.

Lawliet loved his brother, but he didn't always understand him, or like him very much. What relationship they did have deteriorated once their parents had divorced when they were six, and they were separated. B had gone with their father, Lawliet with their mother, only seeing each other on holidays and once they started Wammy's. Luckily both parents had agreed to the suggestion that they be sent there, a decision that Lawliet was eternally grateful for. He believed both parents agreed to it because it meant they didn't have to deal with either of the boys for ten months of the year and could travel or party to their heart's content.

At least during the school year he had a father figure he could look up to and feel cared for by, who understood his constant thirst for knowledge and the desire to understand the world around him and not be looked at as if he were some kind of freak. Even BB, who was brilliant in his own right, felt Lawliet was a bit over zealous and no fun.

Lawliet sighed again, unwrapping a lollipop and sticking it into his mouth. He would have to have a long talk with Wammy about his future, he was one of only two people who cared about him enough to help him; he'd know what he could do.

Then there was Light Yagami. They had been friends since they first met during their first years at Wammy's. As a matter of fact, he was one of the few he could truly call a friend as most students shunned him. But recently he had begun to feel more than friendship for the attractive Japanese teen; but he had been afraid to approach it. He had a feeling that Light was gay, but he wasn't sure and he was afraid of ruining the friendship if he let him know and it wasn't the case.

They had always kept in contact outside the school year via email, but he didn't think that was something he could discuss that way, it had to be face to face when he did it. Now this year there was also the annoying Misa Amane Light had told him about. This was the girl his parents were trying to marry him off to that he had no feelings for; and now according to Light's last email she was coming to Wammy's for the final year.

With her here, it would be imperative that he talked to Light about his feelings before the year was up; he was afraid that if he didn't he would lose him to Misa through parental pressure. Light was brilliant and capable, but he had to know there was another way for him to go, or he would succumb to their pressure. He closed his own eyes in an attempt to nap himself; his mind was made up on both accounts and he looked forward to seeing them both through.

"Liiiiiiiiiiight! Slow down!" that screech only made him move faster, wishing he could move at the speed of light and just completely lose that sound and especially the person from whom it came from.

"Liiight!" he sighed and finally stopped, breathing hard from the exertion of moving quickly with the weight of the suitcases and the anger he was feeling. If only his parents would not try to ignore what he was, and not keep pushing this whiny, stupid, pain in the ass girl in his face. She was representative of everything he hated about girls; why he was glad he preferred guys.

He stood in the middle of the airport, seething with anger as the girl finally caught up to him, dragging her own small bag on wheels behind her.

"Why are you in such a hurry, Light?" she asked, "You'd think we were going somewhere fun instead of school!" she complained and reached for his hand, which he quickly pulled away.

"I just want to get to the car Misa, can't you move faster?" he asked angrily as he began to move again.

"But my bag is heavy!" she complained and he snickered looking at the bag she was dragging.

"You shouldn't have put so much garbage into it then," he said.

"Why are you being so mean to me? You were nicer to me before we left!" she whined and Light shook his head. He'd had to be nice, both sets of parents were beaming at them as they left; Light's thinking they had found the solution to his problem and thus theirs; her parents thinking their daughter had a promising, brilliant future husband.

"Look, Misa…"

"You'll have to be nicer to me if we're going to get married," she said with a bright grin, "Husbands don't treat their wives that way!" Light closed his eyes and tried not to yell as he turned to her.

"Misa, I have told you a million times that we're NOT going to get married, why won't you listen to me?" he hissed and she giggled.

"You're just being silly," she said laughing, "Your mother told me how nervous you are about the whole thing and that you'd say anything to get out of it. But she also said I needed to stay strong and you would eventually turn around. So don't worry Light, I understand and I will be here when you finally realize you love me!"

"Misa, like I've told you before, I'm gay, I'm never going to love you!" he told her and her answer came in peals of laughter.

"Your mom says you're confused Light. It's okay, I understand," she leaned forward and kissed him before he could back away, "I love you and I will wait for you. Besides, that's why our parents wanted me to come with you this year, so we can be together longer and you'll stop being confused." She leaned forward again but this time Light was ready for her.

"Come on, Mr. Wammy will be waiting for us with the car," he said and began to walk away. The only bright spot in his future this year was Lawliet, and this time, he would let him know how he felt and hope that Lawliet felt that same way. He had inklings that Lawliet did, that he tried to tell him a few times, but he never got it out. This time he would begin the conversation and hope he was correct in his assumptions. If he was, he would leave at the end of this year with Lawliet no matter where he went; he was never going back to Japan again if he could help it.

He hadn't noticed that his stride had become quicker as he had made the decision, until he heard Misa whining behind again to slow down. By this time they were at the front doors and he could see the sleek, black Mercedes at the curb, and Mr. Wammy standing beside the open passenger door.

"Good afernoon Light," the older man called to him as he walked out of the doors towards him, "I trust your flight was agreeable?" Light cast a glance at the huffing and puffing girl behind him before he answered.

"It could have been better," he said getting the smile from Wammy that he had hoped for. He carried his bags to the already opened trunk and put them in, completely ignoring Misa's as she held it out to him.

"I'll take that Ms. Amane," Wammy told her as he relieved her of it and placed it into the trunk next to Light's, "I hope you will enjoy your stay at The Wammy's House," he added as he closed it. Light rolled his eyes and leaned down to get into the car and stopped short because some else was already sitting inside.

"Lawliet!" he said in surprise and was rewarded with a wide grin from the raven haired youth.

"Hey Light, welcome back!" he answered and Light practically jumped into the car beside him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked him and Lawliet shrugged.

"Wammy said he was on his way to pick you up after he picked B and I up from the train station, so I just thought I'd tag along after he dropped B off at school. I hope you don't mind…"

"Not at all, it'll make the ride more fun!" Light answered and then groaned as Misa bounced into the car on his other side.

"Who's this, Light?" she asked frowning and Light sighed.

"This is Lawliet, he's a very good friend of mine," he said and then looked at Lawliet and crossed his eyes, "And this is Misa." Lawliet fought the laugh that threatened to escape and looked at Misa. She was a very attractive girl, blonde and well dressed, a bit more on the Gothic side than was his taste, but it was obviously expensive. He smiled and nodded at her.

"Nice to meet you Misa," he said and she smiled brightly at him then entwined her arm into Light's.

"Light and I are going to get married at the end of the school year," she bubbled, "If you're such a good friend, maybe you could be his best man!" she suggested. Light sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Misa I keep telling you…" she giggled again.

"Yes, I know you do, but I'm not listening to it anymore. I know what you really feel!" she said and leaned forward to kiss his cheek making Lawliet suddenly feel a flash of jealousy he was surprised to feel.

"Well, it appears that this will be an interesting year," Wammy said as he started the car and began to pull into traffic. Light and Lawliet looked at each other as Misa giggled with excitement, both barely containing their own laughter.


	2. Chapter 2

Metamorphosis 2

Mello laid back on the bed in his and Matt's room and watched as Matt put his things away as he munched on a chocolate bar. He still couldn't believe that they had found each other again after so many years, that unbelievably childhood friends, separated so many years ago, had not only found each other once again, but found they were both gay and fell easily into a relationship. Matt became aware of the silence and turned to find out why, only to find Mello gazing at him, a wistful smile on his face.

"Am I just that breathtaking or is something wrong" he asked with a grin and Mello laughed and shook his head.

"No, nothing's wrong, but I can't help but keep being amazed at how we found each other again, after so long," he said and Matt nodded.

"Well, you found me. If you hadn't been in the hall as my brother and I were taking a tour…"

"I would have found you when you started school. It's the fact that you were even coming here that's amazing to me." Mello said sitting up, "Along with the fact that I would find my childhood friend at all and that he would care for me the way you do." Matt walked over to the bed and sat next to him, leaned forward and kissed him gently, then laughed.

"Yea, who would have guessed we'd both end up liking boys!" he said making Mello laugh with him.

"But it's not so amazing that I care for you. When you guys moved away when we were kids and I thought I'd never see you again, it took me months to even want to go outside," he added playing with Mello's hair, "But I never forgot you, and I planned to find you when I got older. Of course that was before everything went crazy in my world; my dad flipping out and killing my mom when I was thirteen. For a while after that I couldn't even think straight."

"I understand that, mine got all fucked up about the same time," Mello said and reached up and touched the scar on his face, "Are you sure this doesn't bother you?" he asked and in answer Matt kissed it, down the side of the blonde's face to his neck and stopped only when he couldn't reach the rest that was hidden under his shirt.

"Just when I think how awesome you are, you say something stupid like that," he said laughing, "Of course it doesn't bother me you asshole," he sighed, "I'm sorry you lost your parents in the crash that burned you, I seem to remember liking them," he added and Mello sighed and lay back against the pillow.

"After all the bullshit we've been through, I think we've earned this," he said reaching up and pulling Matt to him for a deep, lingering kiss. He reached up and ran his hand through the red hair he now realized he loved.

"I love you, Matt," he said quietly and Matt smiled and lay down on Mello's chest.

"I love you too," he answered then reached into his pocket for the video game he'd stuck in there earlier, "And now that we've got that straightened out, it's time to help Link find the princess...again. Man, I need new games!" Mello laughed as he watched Matt's fingers dance across the game's buttons.

"I'm surprised it took you this long to pull it out," he said and Matt glanced at him.

"Yea, I was about five minutes from telling you to shut the hell up so I could play," he said laughing, making Mello stare at him in surprise before breaking into laughter himself.

BB frantically ran down the hall towards his room. He had been in A's room and didn't find him, and had been looking all over the place for him. Mr. Wammy had said he was already here, so why wasn't he in his room? He tried to swallow the panic he felt welling up inside him; afraid that something had happened.

He and A had been a involved for quite a while now, A had even shortened his name to just the first initial so it would fit better with BB's. But A had a problem with depression; a couple of times when things got to him, BB had walked in on him cutting himself, or planning to hurt himself in other ways. While they were separated during the summer, BB had kept in constant contact with him, calling daily, chatting online when they weren't on the phone. A had worried him by complaining that he didn't know what he was going to do when the school year was over; he really hadn't planned on any kind of future and he felt useless. He was afraid that once he had arrived here again that maybe the fear of having to leave had proved too much and he wanted to make sure he never left.

BB had already decided that he would find a place for both of them, and together they would decide their future, but he hadn't told A the plans he had made for them because he wanted to surprise him; and now he was afraid that maybe something had triggered that deadly depression and he wished he had.

He had searched everywhere, all the bathrooms, the cafeteria, the common room, and no A. He was now running to his own room, hoping to grab Lawliet to help him search; and when he threw the door open he stopped dead; A was in there putting clothes into a drawer. He nearly wept in relief, and ran to the young blonde and threw his arms around him.

"I'm glad to see you too, B!" A said laughing in surprise as the dark haired boy held him tightly.

"You ass I've been looking everywhere for you, I went to your room and you weren't there and I searched everywhere and…what are you doing?" B asked suddenly realizing A was standing there with clothes in his hand.

"Lawliet and I changed rooms, he's in with Light now and I'm here with you. I thought you'd like it?" he said suddenly unsure. BB laughed and then kissed A in answer.

"I love it," he said, "I should have asked Lawliet myself, but I didn't think he would do it!" A smiled and pulled away to put the clothes in his hands in the open drawer in front of him.

"You haven't been paying attention to how he looks at Light and how Light looks at him, I knew he'd agree to it," he answered with a grin and BB stared in surprise.

"Lawliet and Light? Are you serious? But Lawliet isn't gay is he?" A laughed and shook his head.

"He's your own brother and you didn't know?" BB turned away and sat down on the bed.

"We only see each other holidays and at school, and we don't have a lot in common so we don't talk much. He's always got his head in a book and we definitely don't talk about stuff like this," he stared up at A, "I don't believe it, he and Light? But I thought Light brought his fiancé with him this year?" A burst into laughter and sat down next to him.

"She's a stupid whiney girl whose parents are pushing this marriage no matter what Light wants. Light's parents are trying to make him forget he's gay; that's never gonna work." He said and BB continued to stare in surprise.

"How do you know all this?" he asked.

"Lawliet told me, in between planning her murder," he said laughing, "He will talk you know if you act like you're interested. Anyway, I thought I'd suggest we switch rooms and then he and Light could be together to plot her demise," he added and that made BB laugh.

"Yea, as if Lawliet would even think of something like that, he's too much a goody-goody to really do anything like that unlike me," A watched as a gleam he didn't recognize appeared in BB's eyes, but then was gone just as suddenly.

"I think she may be the one exception to his goody-goody rule," he said closing the drawer and turning to look at B, "I'm really glad to see you B, even if it means our last year here is beginning," he said and B could hear the sadness in his voice.

"Don't sound so sad, it's only the end of school, not us. Nothing is going to separate us again, do you understand?" A stared back into B's unusually reddish eyes and could see he meant every word.

"Yes, if you say so," he answered, "But what are we going to do?"

"I was keeping it as a graduation surprise, but I'll tell you now so you'll get that stupid look off your face. My dad says it's okay for you to come home with me at the end of the year. I think it's mostly because he feels he can go off and do whatever he wants if he knows I've got someone else in the house, but for whatever reason, he thinks it's a great idea if you move in. Do you think it's a great idea?" A's answer was to throw himself into B's arms and kiss him as deeply as he could.

"I can't believe you want me to stay with you!" he said and B rolled his eyes.

"Why are you being stupid, why wouldn't I? I love you" A smiled sadly and then looked away.

"You can say that knowing I have to live on these things?" he asked reaching into his pocket and pulling out a bottle of pills. B took the bottle of antidepressants and smiled.

"You only need these for now. I have a feeling when we're done with school and it's just you and me, you're not going to need them anymore," B gave the bottle back, his hands holding on to both the bottle and A's hand, "These aren't you, they just keep you going until things get better," he kissed A quickly and then released his hand.

"Now, have you heard that Mr. Wammy wants a meeting this evening?" A nodded and sat down on the bed.

"Something about a new program, and only a few students are invited. What do you think?" B smiled and sat next to him.

"I think this year is going to be a lot more interesting than I thought," he said and A nodded his agreement, laughing as B pulled him down on the bed.

Lawliet sat on the bed in his new room, a lollipop in his mouth and reading a huge volume on the history of serial killers. He had discovered in his last couple of years that he had a keen interest in criminology, and a strong desire to be involved in it. He didn't think he wanted to be a policeman, that was too mundane. But he did want to do something with it. He seemed to have a talent for deciphering information and finding the smallest details that others missed. He practiced by studying interesting open criminal cases that he could find via the internet and worked on his own trying to solve them. Most often he would come up with the answer much sooner than the police did, if they ever did at all. He would tell Mr. Wammy what he found and he in turn would submit the information anonymously to whatever police department the case was from, with best wishes. Then they would watch as the cases were closed, with no mention of the helpful information that was submitted, but knowing it had been Lawliet's work that brought it to a close.

He would speak to Mr. Wammy after the meeting tonight, to see if he had some idea of how he could use his love of criminology in his future, but right now he was just passing the time until Light finished with Misa. Light didn't know he had switched with A and was now sharing the room with Light; he hoped he'd be pleased.

He sat up suddenly as he heard the object of his thoughts outside the door, and he obviously wasn't very happy judging by the language. The door was pulled open quickly and slammed shut behind him as he stomped into the room. He watched as Light leaned against the door and ran a hand through his hair.

"I take it she's continuing to be difficult?", he said quietly and Light started slightly and looked in his direction. A smile found his handsome face as he realized it was Lawliet who was there.

"She is always difficult, but now she's nearly impossible because she has my parents' blessing to do whatever it takes to win me over. I thank God that this school separates the girl students from the boys otherwise she'd want to room with me as well," he walked over to where Lawliet was sitting and sat down next to him, "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"A decided he wished to room with my brother and so we switched. I hope that isn't a problem?" Lawliet answered and Light shook his head.

"No, not at all. I think it's a good idea actually," he said gazing into the bottomless black of Lawliet's eyes. Everything inside him wanted to lean forward and kiss him, but he didn't know if it would be accepted or appreciated.

Lawliet stared back, feeling the affection he felt for the Japanese student nearly overtake him. He had to find out if Light felt the same way, but this was something he couldn't just ask as he would about any other subject. It could backfire completely if he did it incorrectly, and he didn't want to damage their friendship in any way. But not knowing was killing him; he'd have to figure out something soon.

"Lawliet, can I ask you something?" Light started softly and Lawliet nodded, smiling.

"We're friends, of course you can ask me anything," he answered and Light took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. What he was about to do could work out very badly if he was wrong about what he thought about Lawliet; but he simply couldn't wait any longer to find out.

"You know I care nothing for Misa, we've talked about it all summer, so you know, right?" Lawliet nodded again smiling.

"You have made that abundantly clear Light. I am sorry you are saddled with such a situation."

"One of the main reasons I care nothing for her is because I have discovered that I care for someone else," Light continued and Lawliet felt his heart sink. It seemed that someone else had a claim on Light and he would have to remain the good friend. He forced himself not to show what he felt; a trick that he had learned early in life to the point that no one knew exactly what he was feeling at any time.

"I see. Is it someone here at school? Do I know this person?" he asked thinking of all the ways he had learned in his studies to make this person disappear. He closed his eyes to banish the thought, he could do no such thing. Light smiled at him and moved a little closer to him.

"Yes, you know this person very well. As a matter of fact, I don't think anyone knows this person as well as you do, except maybe for me," Lawliet's head cocked to one side, a thumb moving to his lips. He tried to think of the few people he associated with at Wammy's, but none would come to mind that he thought Light might like; as he knew precious few girls. If he were right about Light and he was gay, there were several that were in their immediate group of friends, like Near…but he was more reclusive than Lawliet was himself, and Light never seemed to show any kind of attraction to him. There was Mello but he was far from Light's type, way too brash and loud at times…he was at a loss.

"I'm sure I don't know who you're referring to Light, I can't think of anyone that I know that you have shown the least amount of interest in," he finally answered and was surprised when Light's hand slowly grasped his.

"Sure you do, if you think hard enough," Light said softly, and leaned closer to him until their faces were just a breath away from each other. Lawliet searched the auburn eyes, desperately hoping that what he thought was happening really was.

"Well, I can think of one person who might feel the same way about you, if it were possible," he answered and Light's smile was wider.

"It's possible," he answered, reaching up and removing the lollipop from Lawliet's mouth, then bringing his lips to Lawliet's slowly, testing to see if it would be accepted. Lawliet's eyes widened at the contact, then closed slowly as he returned the kiss, his hand grasping Light's tighter. When Light finally pulled away, he was surprised to see a huge grin on Lawliet's face.

"I guess I was right to take the chance that you wouldn't knock me to the floor," he said as Lawliet reached over and retrieved his lollipop.

"As a matter of fact, I had been trying to decide how I was going to approach this question myself. Thank you for taking the problem out of my hands," he answered and Light laughed.

"So now we can discuss how we're going to make Misa understand that I'm never going to marry her," he said and Lawliet crunched on his lollipop at the sound of her name.

"No discussion is needed, she will simply have to realize it once she is aware that we are now together." Light laughed and shook his head.

"You don't know Misa, once she's got something into her head she refuses to see anything else. It doesn't matter though, I'm not going back to Japan after the end of school, I've already made up my mind about that. Going back means I'll be forced into marriage or be disowned. I'd rather disown myself and not deal with the drama," he looked at Lawliet hopefully, "Maybe we can find something together?" he asked and Lawliet nodded.

"I am quite sure that would be possible, but Light, giving up your family…" Light shrugged and lay back on the bed.

"Not as difficult as you might think. The only one I'll miss will be my younger sister, but we can keep in contact on line. Believe me, my parents would much rather I not come home then come back and not marry Misa." Lawliet smiled and grasped Light's hand again.

"Then let us not think about it any further, it is decided. Let's think about what Mr. Wammy has in store for us this evening then at his special meeting." He said and lay back next to Light who shook his head.

"I don't want to think about anything right now, except how glad I am I risked getting punched to see if you felt the same way I do." Lawliet reached over and carded through Light's hair and nodded.

"This is a good thought and I agree," he answered and leaned forward, initiating the kiss this time, feeling happier than he could ever remember feeling.


	3. Chapter 3

Matt couldn't understand why he was walking down this hallway again; he knew he didn't want to, he knew there would be horror awaiting him at the end, but he couldn't stop walking. He immediately recognized it, the hallway leading from his room to his parent's room. He remembered that lately there had been a lot of yelling coming from that room at night, and he tried with all of his might to ignore it. His older brother had assured him that it was normal for married couples to fight, and not to worry about it and at first he believed it. But it seemed their fights had become more frequent and more violent. Sometimes it sounded as if someone was hitting someone but he couldn't tell exactly who was being hit.

But this night it was different, it was way too quiet. It began at dinner, his mother began to complain she didn't feel well again. She hadn't felt well for the past few days; and his dad had seemed surprisingly concerned, giving her medicine he said would help her nausea and sending her to bed. He'd heard her vomiting quite often and tonight she had suggested that maybe she should go to the hospital. His dad had promised to take her in the morning if she didn't feel better, but he thought she was getting better and that in his opinion she didn't need to go.

Both he and his brother had been very concerned, but to keep their younger sister from being upset they assured her that their Mom was getting better and not to worry. He had tucked his sister into bed this night as his brother had gone out with friends. So now he was the only one awake and at home so he had to find out what was going on.

He quietly walked down the hall until he reached his parent's door. He started slightly when he felt a hand grab his and he looked down to see his sister standing next to him.

"What are you doing up?" he asked and she pointed at the door.

"I want to see Mommy,"she said simply and he had to smile.

"Yea, so do I," he answered. He listened for a moment and he thought he heard the sound of his father laughing. That must mean that mom is okay, he thought and opened the door after a quick knock. What met his eyes was not what he was expecting at all. His father was holding his mother's seemingly lifeless body in his arms as he waltzed around the room.

"I guess you won't be yelling at me tonight will you bitch?," he heard him say as he swayed to some music only he could hear. He was so wrapped up in his dance that he didn't see the horror stuck faces of his son and daughter as they stood in the doorway, unable to believe what they were looking at. Didn't notice until Matt screamed…slamming the door behind him and running down the hallway, dragging his sister with him, down the stairs and out of the door directly to a neighbor's door, banging it with all his might. In reality the neighbor had opened the door after hearing the frantic crying and banging, and calling the police when the frightened Matt had told him what he'd seen, clutching his crying sister. But in Matt's reoccurring nightmare, no one came to the door and he found himself face to face with the murderous face of his father who had come after him and was reaching for his throat as he tried to shield his sister.

Matt's eyes flew open as a strangled scream escaped before he could stop it. Mello was coming back from a shower when he heard Matt's cry and ran to the bed. He knew immediately what had happened; this had not been the first time he had been with Matt when a nightmare had plagued him. He ran to him and wrapped his arms around the now trembling red head and held him tightly against his chest.

"It's okay Matt, it's just a dream," he said soothingly as Matt shook his head violently against his chest.

"No it's not just a dream, it happened, it fucking happened! My own father poisoned my mother and I saw her dead in his arms! It happened Mello!" he cried and clutched Mello tightly, feeling as if holding the blonde was the only thing keeping him sane right now. Mello continued to hold him tightly, kissing the top of his head as he did. He had his own nightmares of the night he lost his parents but to have had one kill the other added more horror to what was already an unbelievable situation.

He held onto Matt as his trembling lessened and his tears ceased, stroking his back and talking softly to him as he did. Finally, Matt lifted his head from his chest and stared up at Mello, his familiar smile finally gracing his features.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly and Mello shook his head.

"There's no reason to be sorry so stop being an ass," he said making Matt laugh, "Are you okay now?" he asked and Matt nodded wiping his eyes then realized that Mello was completely naked and slightly damp.

"You better go get dry and dressed before I forget anyone could walk in on us and I start attacking you," Mello laughed and reached down, touching Matt's mouth with his own for just a moment.

"It would serve them right for just walking in but there's a lot of that the first few days, but I'll take you up on that attack later," he said and then got up to go get a towel, "It's getting close to dinner time, I'll introduce you around when we go," he added. Matt watched him walk away

"I love you," he called after him and Mello stopped and turned around.

"You better. I don't want to think I wasted my time this summer," he said with a smirk and Matt threw a pillow at him. He reached across the bed and picked up one of the two envelopes that they had found in their room when they had arrived. He reopened one and reread the simple message inside.

"So what do you think this meeting is all about?" he called to Mello who was now coming back fully dressed in his familiar leather.

"No fucking clue, but I'm glad you got an invitation too. I would have brought you anyway even if you hadn't," Mello answered pulling Matt up from the bed.

"I'm surprised I got one, it's not like anyone knows me here," Matt said, still reading the note.

"Well it's from Wammy, he knows you. Who knows what he has up his sleeve, but I guess we'll find out after dinner. I'm wondering who else he's invited." He wrapped his arms around the red head, pulling him against his body.

"You feeling okay now?" he asked again and Matt nodded smiling, running his fingers through the still damp blonde hair.

"Yea, I'm good. I can't let that keep me down, it's ancient history," he answered and Mello nodded and captured his mouth in a kiss.

"Okay, let's go hit the dining room, I'm starving," he said after he pulled away and Matt agreed, pulling his game goggles down over his eyes to hide the tell-tale red as they left the room.

L was surprised he had fallen asleep when his eyes suddenly popped open. He looked over to his side and smiled at the sleeping form next to him. He couldn't believe that Light Yagami cared for him; he had wished for this for such a long time, and knowing that it was a fact now made him feel as if he could accomplish anything. He smiled to himself; actually he could always accomplish anything he put his mind to, this situation was the only one he ever had doubts about.

He slowly sat up and ran a hand through his unruly black hair trying not to disturb Light, deciding he wanted to talk to Wammy before his meeting this evening. He had no idea what the meeting was going to be about, but he wanted to talk about what he could possibly do with his life before getting involved in a group meeting. As he slid from the bed he felt Light move and turned to see Light yawning and trying to sit up.

"Where are you going?" he asked sleepily and Lawliet sighed.

"I was trying not to disturb you, it seemed you really needed your sleep," he said smiling.

"After traveling from Japan and an hour of arguing with Misa I was exhausted, but you didn't answer my question," Light answered.

"I wish to talk to Wammy before our group meeting tonight. I have no idea what it is about, but I have some questions on my future I really need to discuss with him as there is no one else." Light nodded and smiled at him.

"I understand; I'm not sure where I'm going myself after graduation except with you. Maybe I should have a talk with Mr. Wammy myself." Lawliet nodded as he rose from the bed.

"I'll let him know you wish to speak about your future as well; perhaps we can work on something together. I know I wish to work in the field of criminology; as your father is the Chief of the NPA, perhaps you have the same leanings?" Light nodded enthusiastically, it was true, he had grown up listening to his father talk about his cases, being intrigued by them. At times he had even helped out with his excellent deductive abilities and computer skills; it was the one thing he and his father had been able to see eye to eye on. Originally he had planned to also join the NPA, which had also been his father's wish.

"I do, but obviously my working at the NPA is completely out of the question now, my father wouldn't allow it unless I married Misa and that isn't going to happen." Lawliet caught the sadness that crossed Light's face as he spoke, obviously this was the one thing he regretted about his decision of not returning home. He reached out and touched Light's shoulder making him look up at him.

"I am sorry that cannot happen now unless you give up being yourself, but perhaps we can find something we can do together that will be mutually fulfilling," he looked at the clock on the dresser and sighed, "If I'm to speak to Wammy before dinner I better get going now." Light stood up from the bed and pulled Lawliet to him before he could leave.

"I don't care what I have to give up if it means I can finally be honest with myself and I get to be with you," he said, and brought his lips to Lawliet's kissing him deeply. Lawliet moaned softly into the kiss, unnerved by the way he also felt his body reacting to it; he had never felt anything like this before. He suddenly decided he didn't wish to be separated from Light any longer than he needed to be.

"Come with me," he said after Light had released him, "We can talk to Wammy together since it is our wish to work with each other as well." Light nodded taking Lawliet's hand as they went out of the door together.

Wammy was not surprised when he answered the knock on his door to find Lawliet on the other side; he and Lawliet had always spent a great deal of time together since the boy first arrived almost ten years ago. He was slightly surprised to see Light Yagami with him.

"Wammy, we were hoping we could talk to you before the meeting," Lawliet said as he welcomed them in.

"Of course, you know I am always available for you," the older man said closing the door behind them, "Would you care for some coffee or tea while we talk?"

"I would love coffee, thank you," Light answered and Lawliet nodded his agreement. Wammy nodded and walked towards the small kitchen area in the apartment.

"Please sit down anywhere and tell me what has brought you two here," he added as he began to reach for cups and pour coffee. Knowing Lawliet's intense love for sweets he also added some cookies he kept on hand just for him.

"I am in need of guidance," Lawliet began as he sat on the couch, his bare feet pulled up on it as he sat with his knees pulled up against his chest, his hands resting on them, "Actually I believe we both are. We will both graduate at the end of this school year, but neither one of us has any idea where we will go after this. We were hoping you had some suggestions."

"I see," Wammy said as he laid a tray on the coffee table in front of them, "Light, did you not bring your fiancé with you this year? It would seem at least part of your future has already been decided." Light sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I had no choice in the matter unfortunately. But…I don't intend to return to Japan after school, and I have no intention of marrying Misa." Wammy sat back in his chair and sipped his coffee.

"Then you have no feelings for Ms. Amane? This marriage was not your idea?" He almost laughed at how quickly Light shook his head and the expression on his face.

"I don't love Misa, she's a friend I grew up with, she means nothing more to me. This marriage was decided on by both of our parents, not me," he answered.

"I know your father was quite adamant about Ms. Amane being here this year. After looking over her records I explained to him that she did not meet our criteria for admission, but he made it quite clear that he would not allow you to return if we did not allow her to attend. As I felt that would be a great disservice to what you had already accomplished I let her through. I did wonder why he was so insistent on her being here this year, however." Light looked at Lawliet for permission and was given a smile and a nod. He reached over and took the raven-haired youth's hand then turned back to face Wammy.

"This is why Mr. Wammy. He seemed to think if Misa was here with me it would somehow keep me from being what I know I am; and being with who I want to be with."

Wammy sat back in his chair, the fingers of one hand gently stroking his mustache as he thought. Although this definitely was not what he expected to hear, he had not suspected that Lawliet or Light were gay and it made no difference to him; if anything it would help his cause.

"I see. You feel your family will not accept you if you don't return and marry Ms. Amane, then?" Light shook his head.

"They won't, my father has already made that quite clear. I can't live a lie Mr. Wammy, I have done that already and I can't spend the rest of my life like that. So I've decided to stay with Lawliet, whatever it is we decide to do. Can you help us?" Wammy appraised them both for a few moments more before he spoke again.

"As a matter of fact, this is part of what my meeting is about for this evening, about the future of those I have invited. But it does require leaving your past lives behind, and from what you've told me you've already decided to do so. Lawliet, your feelings?"

"I don't have much of a life to leave behind either. Part of the reason I am sent here each year is so that my mother can do whatever she wishes without having to worry with what to do about me. I believe she would be quite happy if I don't return." Lawliet answered and Wammy nodded and leaned forward.

"Lawliet, you and I have worked on several seemingly unsolvable cases for several different police departments in our leisure and you have solved them. We sent the information to the proper authorities anonymously and thus the cases were taken care of and the criminals captured. Your brilliance at sifting through and finding clues and information where none seemed to exist is without equal. I have discovered that this is a growing concern in the world; many crimes are going unsolved; criminals getting away quite literally with murder and other heinous acts. Some crimes against humanity so horrific I scarcely believe a human being was capable of committing them. I am proposing that you and I set up a program where we work with the various police departments of the world, for a fee of course there is too much work involved to be philanthropic, and solve these unsolvable crimes. I believe that after we have solved a few of these crimes, the world will look to you for help and we will no longer have to look for them." He stood up, clasping his arms behind him, walking as he continued to talk.

"This will not come without danger of course and thus the reason why you must leave your life behind you. Once you begin to conquer these crimes, the criminal world will want to find and stop you; thus you will need to remain anonymous and unknown, hidden from the world. No one will ever know who you are, what you look like, or where you are. You would have to stay hidden at all times, Lawliet. We will both have under cover names that we can be referred to as; as I have experience in certain areas due to my history, I would peruse the cases, be a liaison between you and the police forces, set up everything that needs to be done; which would leave you free to simply work," he then turned to Light, "If you indeed wish to stay with Lawliet, then I could use you as his assistant, and perhaps even his eyes and legs, a contact so to speak, doing some of the actual information gathering and/or physical work that would be necessary. I know you also have a background in detective work and would be an excellent aide," he then sat back in his chair and appraised them again, "The decision then is up to you, gentlemen. This will not be easy under any circumstances; there will be a rigorous training program that I will oversee in addition to your continuing studies here. Is this something you think you would be up for?"

The two teens looked at each other and smiled; they couldn't have thought of a more perfect answer to their dilemmas. They would both be working at what they both were interested in, and what was even better, they would be working together.

"Mr. Wammy, I think it's an excellent idea, and yes I would like to do it," Light answered enthusiastically. Wammy looked at Lawliet who had not answered, but had turned from Light with his thumb against his lips in obvious thought.

"And what are your thoughts, Lawliet," he asked and L turned slowly back to him, his overly large eyes staring back at him.

"I believe this is something I will enjoy, Wammy. I am grateful that you think I can handle such a position."

"Lawliet, I've watched you grow up, I think I know you better than anyone; and when we worked on those few cases, watching how you solved them made me realize what you were truly capable of. I am looking forward to working with you on this."

"You said this was part of what you wanted to discuss tonight, what is the rest and who else is involved?" Lawliet then asked.

"I am planning on training others to work in this capacity, in the unlikely event that you would decide not to wish to continue for some reason, or if, which is even more unlikely, that something were to happen to you so that you could no longer continue. I have the feeling that this is going to be huge, Lawliet, you are going to be known world wide and if that happens, I can't have it simply stop because you may decide you want to go another path a few years down the road. So, I have asked five other students who I feel would be likely candidates to step in for you if necessary. Light was on the list, but now I see he would work better as an aide to you than as a possible replacement. The others are Near, Mello, Matt...who is new this year but I've researched him and his computer skills are remarkable. Also I believe your brother and his friend A would also be quite good at this." Lawliet snorted at the mention of BB and A.

"While I admit BB is nearly as intelligent as I am, I don't believe he has the spark or attention to detail that is necessary to work in a situation such as this. He can be a wild card and unpredictable. A…well A has his limitations," he said and Wammy nodded.

"Yes, this is true, but I believe they can both overcome their shortcomings if they work hard enough. This is of course if they agree to the program; it is not going to be easy. I will train you and Light first as I wish you to get started as soon as possible, and I don't think it will take much time, you are both quite gifted. We should be completely online by the end of the school year. I have spent the summer getting the basics set up, including a work space for you and eventually living quarters as you would be safer working from here. I know this is a lot to take in, but I am sure you two can handle this."

Lawliet stood up from the couch where he was sitting, his hands thrust into the front pockets of his jeans and walked over to where Wammy was sitting The older man stood from his chair to face him.

"Since the first year I began coming here I have always known you were there for me Wammy, so much more than my own parents and it has meant everything to me. I was afraid that this would be the last year I could spend with you and I was hoping you might have asked me to stay and perhaps help you in some way, but this is much more than I could have imagined. Thank you for that, and for accepting my relationship with Light. I will work hard to make you proud of me."

Wammy reached out with both hands and took L's shoulders, a wave of affection for the wild haired genius going through him.

"I have no doubt you will reach every expectation, but I am already very proud of you," he then turned his smile towards Light, "I also have no doubts on your abilities and as far as your relationship is concerned of course I accept it, it is what you are. Now, it is dinner time, you two must join your friends. We will talk in depth later." Lawliet nodded as Light stood up to join him.

"Thank you Mr. Wammy," Light said as he once again took Lawliet's hand and headed for the door. Wammy smiled as he escorted them to the door, closing it behind them after they left. He felt an excitement he had not felt since he had left working for the government and it felt wonderful.


	4. Chapter 4

Mello spotted BB and A sitting at a table across the room as he and Matt picked up their dinner.

"Let's go join BB and A when we're done, I want to introduce you to them," he told Matt as they headed across the room.

"Sure, BB and A?" Matt asked and Mello began to explain as they walked over to their table, he explained who they were, saying that B was never happy with his name and preferred BB. B was pretty much his best friend here; bonding several years ago over their shared, and at the time, newly found sexuality and the basic feelings as if they were the odd ones. Although he also liked Lawliet, B's twin brother, he stayed more to himself where B was more outgoing and approachable. He also enjoyed the dark streak that B had. Once in a while he wondered just how far he would go, but then some people wondered that about him and he enjoyed that.

He also liked A, although he thought it was kind of stupid he had shortened his name to just the letter so he'd be more like B, but whatever. He also explained about his constant battle with depression; he had helped B with him before the medication started; searching the school for him and finally finding him on the roof, preparing to jump after a particularly bad week. B had come to him terrified when he couldn't find him and begging him to help him find him without alerting the authorities at the school for fear of having him thrown out.

Once Lawliet found out about it, he suggested they go to Wammy about it and perhaps try some medication to help him, but B was afraid A would get thrown out of school. Lawliet had warned him he would go to Wammy himself because he felt the situation was dangerous, and at first it caused a great rift between the brothers when Wammy had called them all in to discuss the situation. Mello had been invited in on the discussion because he had been involved in the search and thus knew all about it. B had leapt on Lawliet for going to Wammy in the first place, beating him until Mello and Wammy had pulled him off. Lawliet had refused to strike back to defend himself, merely holding his arms over his face to defend against the blows. When Mello asked Lawliet about it later, the teen had merely shrugged, saying he didn't see the point, his brother had always bested him when they fought; it merely prolonged the situation by fighting back and made him more angry and more violent. But he had made it clear it wouldn't always be that way.

That had been several years ago and A had improved with the medication, although it was obvious he was still fragile, unsure of himself and completely dependent on B…who didn't mind it in the least. As he and Matt approached the table, the red head filed all of that information at the back of his mind for future further discussion.

BB looked up as Mello placed his tray on the table and flashed a big smile when he realized it was his best friend.

"I wondered when you'd show up," he said as Mello and Matt sat down at the table.

"Sorry, been busy getting Matt settled in," Mello answered and took Matt's hand, "BB and A, this is Matt."

"Hey, Matt," B said with a smile, "I remember….this is the guy you ran into at the end of last year as he was taking a tour, right?" Mello nodded as he squeezed Matt's hand making it obvious what Matt meant to him.

"That's right. We spent the summer together at his place, my sister-n-law wouldn't allow him to stay with us."

"Nice to meet you," A said with a small smile that grew bigger when BB reached over and took his hand.

"Now we can double date," he said laughing and the others joined him.

"Maybe we can get Lawliet and Light to join us," A added and BB snorted his disdain.

"Really? Light and Lawliet?", Mello asked, "When did that happen?" BB shrugged as he took a bite of his dinner.

"I guess they just realized it over the summer, which was a surprise to me because I had no idea Lawliet swung our way. But you know them; they don't hang out with anyone except each other. I guess we're not worthy."

"They're just not as outgoing as we are, that's all," Mello said hoping to stop any negative discussion about them. He knew BB didn't always get along with Lawliet or Light but Mello did like them both and didn't want to start the evening off that way. BB reached out and patted Matt's arm.

"I'm really glad you're here for him, he needs someone to take care of him, he's such an asshole," he said laughing. Matt nodded while Mello rolled his eyes.

"Yea, I've noticed, but I think I can whip him into shape," he answered with an evil grin.

"Did you guys get this invitation from Mr. Wammy?" A suddenly asked pulling it out of his pocket and laying it on the table.

"Yea we did," Mello answered, "You have any idea what it's all about?" BB shook his head.

"Nope, but it's really weird. I wonder who else got invited to this meeting." He said.

"I don't know, I can't wait to find out what it's all about though. It says something about it having to do with our future, which is interesting. Considering I haven't decided what the hell I'm going to do after graduation, if it's at all interesting I'll probably go for it." Mello said as he finished off his dinner and went for the chocolate pudding for desert.

"I don't care what it is, I'm not doing it unless you do it," A said seriously looking at BB who shook his head.

"If it's something that you want to do and I don't you'll do it. It doesn't mean we can't be together just because you do something I don't," he answered. A answered by merely shrugging, playing with his food with his fork. BB turned his attention back to Mello.

"This explains why you weren't around online that much over the summer," he said, "I was wondering what was going on."

"Yea, we had years of catching up to do," Mello said gazing at Matt, "But it was worth it." Matt grinned as he reached for his game.

"Then there was the sex, took him a while to get it right!" he said making them all laugh and Mello punch his shoulder.

"Oh yea, you were so experienced!" he challenged and Matt shrugged his shoulders, playing his game now that his dinner was finished.

"I'm just sayin'," he answered ignoring the punch. A laughed at Matt then looked at BB as he gestured towards the door of the dining room.

"Well, well look who's arrived," BB said. The others turned to see Light and L coming into the dining room.

"I still can't believe they're a couple now," Mello said turning back to his meal and then frowned when the sound of Light's name reverberated through the dining room at an unpleasantly high pitch. He turned to find the sound and saw a blonde girl running from one end of the dining to where Light and L were standing getting their food. It was obvious from where he was sitting how unhappy Light was upon seeing her.

"What the hell was that?" Mello asked and A laughed.

"That is named Misa and she's supposedly Light's fiancé " he answered which made Mello turn to him in confusion. A then explained the situation to him and Matt.

"Wow that fucking sucks, poor Light," he said and Matt shook his head.

"I kinda feel bad for the girl," Matt said, "She's gonna be crushed when she finally realizes Light's not going to marry her."

"She's obviously a stupid cow," BB nearly spat, "According to Lawliet, Light's been telling her all along it's not going to happen, that he doesn't love her. She's too stupid to take no for an answer."

"It's not completely her fault, the parents are telling her not to worry, it's going to happen so what is she supposed to think?" A defended and BB shrugged.

"This is gotta be killing Lawliet," Mello said continuing to watch the scene which made BB laugh again.

"Yes, delicious isn't it?" he said making Mello laugh at the obvious glee his best friend found in his brother's dilemma.

Light groaned and covered his face with his hands upon hearing his name shrieked across the room. Lawliet turned to see Misa bounding towards them and his eyes narrowed in annoyance. He had planned to sit and discuss with Light more about the new future that Wammy had offered them, and now he'd have to deal with this bitch instead.

"Light, why didn't you come and get me for dinner? My room mate had to show me where to go!" asked the pouting blonde when she finally arrived.

"I'm sorry Misa, Lawliet and I had something important to do." Light answered and continued to get his dinner.

"More important than getting your fiance'?", she asked and turned to look at Lawliet with a frown, "What were you doing with my Light?" Lawliet opened his mouth to tell her that Light was not hers and as if Light could read his mind he got in between them.

"Misa, why don't you go back to your table and I'll join you when I get my food," he suggested and Misa turned back to face him with a smile. She reached up and kissed Light quickly, her eyes returning to Lawliet's as if offering him a challenge by doing so.

"Alright, but hurry up," she said and walked away. Light turned back to Lawliet and sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said, "But to keep her quiet I need to spend some time with her," he said and Lawliet sighed.

"I understand. But this situation will need to be clarified," he said and Light ran a hand through his auburn hair.

"I know, but Lawliet I have told her I don't love her so often I'm tired of saying it. I've told her we're never going to get married but she won't listen. And if I ignore her she'll only report it to our families and if I'm not careful Dad will pull me out of here. I have to keep things calm until I turn 18 at least. Even then if he decides to stop paying…"

"Don't worry about that, I'm sure Wammy has no intention of letting you go after what we've discussed no matter what your father does. But he does have the ability to remove you if you are under age so I understand," he smiled, "But we are rooming together so there will be plenty of time for us to talk," he grimaced as they heard Misa call Light again, "You better go before she comes back." He said and Light rolled his eyes.

"Yea, I better. Thank you for understanding," he added and then headed across the room to where Misa was waving at him. Lawliet watched him walk away then turned to pick up two of the chocolate puddings to put on his tray.

"I am only understanding because I know I will win," he said smiling to himself.

"Lawliet! Over here!" he turned at the sound of his name to see A waving at him and next to him, his brother sitting at a table with several others. He sighed, not sure he really wanted to deal with BB at the moment, but because the others at the table were also the ones Wammy had invited tonight, he thought it would be a good idea to join them. He walked over and sat down across from BB and A.

"Matt, this is BB's twin brother, Lawliet. Lawliet, this is Matt he's new this year and all mine," Mello said with a grin,

"Hey," Matt said. Lawliet nodded at Matt and then surveyed the table.

"Then this would mean that all of us at this table are…"

"Perverts," Matt said with a giggle which made the entire table laugh.

"A told me about you and Light," BB began, "Why didn't you tell me, Lawliet? You know it would have been at least one thing we have in common."

"We speak rarely, and the few times we did the subject never came up, and it was only realized by both of us today. You never really care about anything I say anyway." BB frowned, his reddish eyes flashing dangerously.

"Maybe I would if you said something interesting once in a while, it's always bullshit about your books, or what great crime you're trying to figure out. That gets boring after a while."

"I'm sorry I'm so boring to you, but perhaps after the meeting this evening that won't be so boring to you," They all looked at Lawliet in surprise.

"You know about the meeting?" Mello asked and Lawliet nodded.

"Yes, Light and I will also be there." He answered finishing up the first pudding and heading towards the second.

"You know something about it," BB said, "Why am I not surprised, you've always been Wammy's special little prodigy."

"Wammy has not treated me any differently than he has you, you never were interested in what he had to say." BB snorted at him and leaned forward in his chair.

"He kept acting as if he was my father, I already have a father. Should I waste my time going to this meeting?" he asked and Lawliet shrugged.

"That's entirely up to you. I do know the basic subject matter, and I think it should prove interesting to you, but ultimately that is your decision."

"Can you tell us anything about it?" A asked nervously and Lawliet smiled at him.

"I couldn't explain it as well as Wammy does, but it is about what we may all be doing in the future with the rest of our lives. He has come up with an idea that could work for all of us and he wishes to explain it to us."

"Oh, I already know my future, it's with BB. I don't care what else happens," A said and Lawliet nodded.

"Yes, I assumed as much. But perhaps this is a chance for you to shine on your own instead of constantly being in BB's shadow. You are extremely intelligent, otherwise you would not be here, this could be a chance to prove yourself and give you the confidence in yourself you lack."

"He doesn't have to prove anything to anybody," BB said, "He's fine just as he is."

"There is always room for improvement for everyone…" Lawliet said.

"Except you, of course…" BB added

"Guys, according to my game clock, I think we should start heading to the meeting," Matt interrupted. Mello looked at him gratefully, feeling no good could come out of where that conversation was headed. Lawliet finished his second pudding and then stood up.

"I will go get Light and meet you all in Wammy's apartment," he said and walked away from the table.

"He pisses me off so much," BB said staring after him and Mello laughed.

"No…really? Come on asshole before we're late," he said standing up.

"Maybe he's right," A said as they left the room, "It could be something that would be good for me."

"Maybe, but you don't have to prove anything to me or anyone else. If it's something you want to do, that's great, but don't do it because Mr. Perfect thinks you should," BB answered and A smiled.

"Are those two always like that?" Matt whispered to Mello as they let A and BB get ahead of them.

"Most of the time, makes for some interesting conversations! Ah, fuck don't tell me that little twerp is coming…" Matt looked over to where Mello was looking to see a young, smaller teen walking in the same direction they were going. He was clad in what appeared to be white pajamas, had white hair and was clutching a robot.

"Why, who is that?" he asked.

"His name's Near, and he's a twerp." Matt laughed and watched as the teen continued the same path they were on.

"It looks like he is headed in the same direction," he said, "He looks nice enough, maybe a little odd. Why don't you like him?"

"Because he's…he's just a pain in my ass. He's always got to be better than everyone else. No matter what he does, or how hard I work, he always manages to best me in every class. He thinks he's God's gift to Wammy's." Matt stared at him for a moment and then burst into laughter.

"And you think BB has a problem with his brother? This sounds exactly the same!"

"It's not the same, it's different. Near really is a pain in the ass, Lawliet's a nice kid, he can't help it if he's a little faster at things than BB." Matt shook his head in disbelief. Maybe eventually he'd get Mello to realize what he was saying, especially if they all ended up working together as Lawliet suggested they might. In the meantime, he would try to get to know this Near kid, size him up and get his own opinion before he tried working on Mello.

"What do you mean you have to go to a meeting?" Lawliet heard Misa whine as he approached their table.

"I have to see Mr. Wammy about something, I'm sorry but you'll have to walk yourself back to your room," Light answered as he stood up.

"Yes, and it's time we got going," Lawliet said and Light turned, smiling gratefully at him.

"Don't tell me you're going to his meeting too?" Misa asked and Lawliet nodded.

"Yes, I'm also one of the participants," he answered. Misa stood up and nearly got nose to nose with the raven-haired teen.

"Don't think I'm stupid and can't figure out what you're doing," she said angrily, "I see how you look at my Light, but don't think you can turn him over to your perverted ways. Light loves me, and he's going to marry me so you better keep your hands off!" she warned.

"Misa, please stop this," Light groaned and Lawliet merely looked at her, his feelings of distaste being so close to her hidden behind his unreadable expression.

"Of course Ms. Amane, it is quite obvious that Light worships the ground you walk on. Even if I had perverted ways, I am sure they would not work on him. But we do have the meeting to attend to, please excuse us." He stuck his hands in his pockets and turned to walk away from the table. Light moved to join him when Misa pulled him back.

"I wouldn't mind if you came to my room after your meeting," she suggested, a sly smile on her face.

"That's against the rules, Misa. I'll see you tomorrow," Light said, moving quickly to avoid a good-bye kiss and to catch up with Lawliet.

"I'm so sorry Lawliet," he said when he finally did catch up with him, "She's such a pain in the ass."

"Do not trouble yourself over her Light," Lawliet said, "She is merely an aggravation that must be endured for a short while. Soon she will be back in Japan and we will be here, and this will be behind us." Light grabbed his arm and stopped him for a moment.

"I'm really looking forward to that," he said, "It will be the first time in my life I won't be living a lie." Lawliet smiled and then nodded.

"I am sure you will be much happier," he said, "Now we have to hurry or we're going to be late." Light nodded and they both began to sprint down the hall.

Wammy welcomed them all into his apartment and offered them refreshments before they got started. He had set up a table with coffee and tea, sweet snacks and fresh fruit. He then sat down and sipped on a cup of tea as they all got settled.

"I know that all of you are wondering what is going on so I won't keep you waiting a moment longer. I know that you have not decided what you're going to do once you have graduated, and I have something to offer you." He then began to outline the program to them, although not telling them who the main person would be.

"I studied all of the records of the students here and you are the top of the line here at Wammy's. I have gotten to know you all personally, and I believe you would each excel at what I offer. I would like each of you to think about joining me, to learn what you need to know to be the best at criminology and detective work, and to be ready to step into the shoes of the person who will be heading this operation, if necessary. It will not be easy, there is much to learn and you will be working on cases from around the world as well to prepare you."

"So you're setting up some type of bad ass detective agency," Mello said and Wammy nodded.

"In a sense, but not quite. There will only be one main detective, and because of the dangers inherent in this position, he will remain hidden from the world; no one will know who he is, what he looks like or where he is. I am imagining that eventually the criminals of the world will begin setting their sights on eliminating him, so he must always remain in the shadows.

Because of all the work that will be involved in setting this up, I will need to make sure there will be someone else available to take his place if he is no longer able to do this at some point as this will not be an easy life. Or, if something should happen to him, I cannot let the entire operation fall apart. But the same would be true for you as it is for the one person who will be the main detective. If you decide to join me, after your graduation, your records here at Wammy's will be wiped clean; your whereabouts unknown and no one is to know what you're doing. You will effectively be cut off from your families for a long period of time. Of course I cannot tell you not to ever speak to them again, but you can never let them know what you are doing, or exactly where you are. I know that most of you do not have particularly close ties with your families so it should not be such a hardship.

What I can offer you is that you will never want for anything, the entirety of Wammy's is at your disposal and always will be; you will have funds at your disposal for whatever you wish, within reason of course. There will be worldwide travel to work on cases and for study.

I would suggest that upon graduation you continue to live here, at least until your training is complete. I will set up special areas for you so that you will not have to deal with the general populace. You may come and go as you please, but just realize that your days and some of your evenings will be filled with learning this new trade. I can guarantee that your lives will never be boring if you accept my proposal. Now, I wish to hear your thoughts on the matter."

The six young men were quiet for a few moments, digesting all that they heard. BB was the first to speak up.

"You said there is one who is going to begin this operation as the main detective. Have you decided who it will be?" Wammy nodded as he sipped at his tea.

"Yes, I have already decided who I will ask to be the main detective, but I will not divulge that information at this time. I do this to protect his identity in case some of you decide you do not wish to do this, and to protect you as well."

"Mr. Wammy, although all I have is my brother and my sister, we're not estranged, we are very close. I don't know if my being away from them would work.." Matt began and Wammy nodded.

"Yes, I know this, Matt. I am not saying you can never see them again, it would just be quite a while before you would be able to. In the way of the world you would eventually move away from them anyway, in this way I do not believe what I am asking is so unheard of. But this is something you must decide on your own. Your computer skills are almost beyond compare, you would be a great asset to this endeavor."

The red head let out a deep breath and shook his head trying to clear it.

"I don't know, I really don't know. This is something I would have to think about for a while." Mello looked at him concerned.

"You know my situation at home, I had no plans to return there anyway. We were planning to stay together, this is a perfect situation for us." He suggested and Matt nodded.

"I know what you're saying Mello, but I still have to think about it," he answered and Wammy nodded his agreement.

"Absolutely, you must all think about this. I am giving you two weeks to make final decisions. Anyone else have any thoughts, questions?"

"I believe I can give you my answer immediately," Near told him, his fingers twirling in his shock of white hair, "I live with a foster family the two months of the year I am not here, they have many foster children and so will not miss my presence. I accept your offer, Mr. Wammy."

"That's excellent Near, thank you," he then turned to the rest of them, "One thing I must tell you. If you do decide to do this, because of the possible danger to all of us involved, you will not be able to back out. Once you are in, you are in for life."

A stared at BB looking for an answer. If BB wanted to do this then he'd have to as well, he couldn't be separated from BB, he was his life. BB smiled at him and nodded, squeezing his hand as he did.

"I believe we can have an exciting, fulfilling future together, but I am not forcing this on anyone. After two weeks, if you decide not to do this, nothing more will be said on the matter and you will return to the general student body and nothing will have changed, except that you can never mention this meeting to anyone, and your relationships with those who have accepted the offer will have to end after graduation."

He looked at all six gifted young men, knowing he was effectively asking them to sign their lives away to him and this great project. Most of the kids who came to Wammy's were from families that expected them to take over the family business upon graduation and thus this would not be possible with them; these six were not in that situation and thus able to be selected for his plan. He was fairly sure they would all agree to it, but he was prepared if he were wrong.

"I am available as always for any questions you may have about this, and I look forward to hearing your decisions in two weeks." The teens all stood and began to file out of the apartment. They separated as each reached their rooms, leaving the group with quiet good nights as what they had been offered weighed on each of them.

As Matt and Mello entered their room, Mello closed the door behind them the reached for Matt, taking him into his arms.

"It looks like we have a bright future ahead of us," he said, "I think this is going to be great." He leaned down to kiss him and Matt pulled away, moving out of Mello's arms.

"Mello, I can't do this, I really don't think I can."


	5. Chapter 5

Mello stared at Matt as if he were speaking another language.

"What are you talking about? Of course you can do this…"

"Mello, I'm not like you, I haven't cut myself off from my family. I don't know…"

"They cut me off from them, Matt. What's to know, he didn't say you could never see them again, only that you'd be separated from them for a while as we train, and that they can't know exactly what it is you're doing. That's not such a big deal is it?" Matt turned away from him and walked over to the bed, sitting on it and holding his face in his hands. Mello followed him and sat next to him.

"If you don't do this, and I do, you know what this means?" he asked and Matt nodded.

"I know, I heard him," he dropped his hands and looked at Mello earnestly, "What if you don't do it? Mello, I can't lose you again after just getting you back!"

"That's why you have to do this, Matt! I don't have any fucking idea what else we're going to do after graduation. What did you think, that we'd go move in with your brother and sister until we find some kind of work and get our own place? Isn't your brother about to get married soon? Sounds like your place is going to get pretty damned crowded, and you don't know what the situation could be like after that. We can't depend on that and we have nothing else!"

"I don't know what I thought, actually I didn't think anything, and I hadn't thought that far, "Matt answered," I'm only just getting used to being here with you. But with my computer skills, I'm sure I could find something pretty quickly. You're brilliant; you could do practically anything you wanted to. We wouldn't have to wait that long to get our own place, we don't have to do this…"

"Maybe I want to do this, Matt. It sounds really good to me, it really does! Besides, what other job could I get with this face! Normally, I don't give a shit about it, or what anyone thinks about it. But I know it will cause problems if I try to get work on the outside," Matt stared at him open mouthed.

"What are you talking about?" he asked and Mello grabbed his hand and put it over the scar on his face.

"You don't think I've seen how people look at me the first time they see this? How they work really hard not to look at it, or the pity ass look they give me afterwards? You tell me what kind of job I'm going to get looking like this? Who's going to offer me anything that's like he's offering?" Matt traced the jagged burn scar from the top of Mello's face down his neck to where it could no longer be seen beneath his shirt.

"I'm so sorry, I never even thought about that," he looked down for a moment and then faced Mello again, "So I have to decide whether I want to give up my family or you? That's not fair, Mello!" he cried and tried to move away from the blonde who grabbed him and kept him from moving.

"You don't have to give them up, you just have to put them in the background for a while, it's not the same thing!" Mello nearly shouted at him and then stopped when he saw tears beginning to form in Matt's eyes. He sighed and dropped his hold on the red head, moving his hand to run his fingers through Matt's hair.

"Okay, never mind. If I have to choose between what Wammy's got up his sleeve and making you happy, guess who wins?" he leaned forward and gently kissed Matt's mouth, "We'll tell him tomorrow that we can't do this." He got up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Matt asked him.

"I'll be right back, I just need to go for a walk," he answered and left the room. Matt watched him leave and close the door behind him before he fell over on the bed and let the tears finally escape.

Mello walked out into the still busy hallway; new students being shown around by older students, some just hanging out in the hallway and chatting, some going back and forth to the showers…just a typical evening at Wammy's. He made his way to the main entrance and outside; not really paying attention to where he was walking until he found himself in the play area for the younger students. He looked around for a moment and then just sat down on one of the empty swings.

Maybe he could find something on the outside; did it really matter as long as he had Matt with him? He knew no matter what he could never leave Matt behind, not now; but at the same time he had to fight the anger he was feeling at Matt for the situation he was being forced into. He really wanted to do this project with Wammy and the others, it sounded like something he could really sink his teeth into and enjoy; but not if it cost him Matt. Perhaps they could find something else to do around here, and Wammy would let them continue to stay here until they found something else. Or maybe they could work peripherally around the program without actually being in it. He'd ask him tomorrow after letting him know they couldn't be part of the program. He began to move back and forth in the swing as he made up his mind what he was going to do, covering his face with his hands as he thought.

He had no idea how long he'd been sitting there when he heard the sound of a match lighting up and he lifted his face from his hands to see Matt walking towards him, lighting a cigarette.

"Don't you think your ass is too big to be in that swing?" the red head asked him.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked as Matt took a long drag and then shook his head.

"That isn't an answer to the question," Matt said, "But on second thought, your ass is more skinny than big." Mello jumped out of the swing and waited for Matt to get closer to him.

"Who are you to talk about skinny?" he asked as Matt took another drag on his cigarette and shrugged.

"At least I have an ass," he answered as Mello reached out and pulled Matt against him, his hands reaching down to rest on the aforementioned ass.

"I agree, you do have an ass and a really nice one," he said squeezing it, "But you didn't come out here to talk about asses. Why are you out here?" Matt blew smoke to the side and sighed.

"I came to find you. I didn't want you mad at me..."

"I'm not mad at you, Matt…" Mello began and Matt shook his head.

"Yes, you are and I don't blame you. I know how much you want to do this, and you have every right to be pissed at me for screwing it up."

"And you have every right to not want to be separated from your family any longer than you have to. I have to be, but you don't." Mello told him, but Matt shook his head.

"Like you said, it's not like I'll be away from them forever. I'll just tell them I've found a job around here that I really like, or that you and I have decided to do some backpacking through Europe for a while. They'll understand; and then I'll visit first chance I get." Mello stared at him in the darkness.

"Are you saying you want to do this now?" he asked and Matt nodded taking another long drag on his cigarette.

"Yea, I am. I thought about it after you left and I realized I was being really stupid about this and I'm sorry," he explained and then pulled away from Mello, "It scared me when you walked out and it made me realize that my life is with you now. Not to mention that this whole thing does sound kinda interesting," he dropped the cigarette and ground it into the gravel with his heel and then grinned, "Besides, you need someone to watch out for your ass at all times." Mello took Matt's face in his hands, making him look at him directly into his eyes.

"Are you sure about this, Matt? Don't do this because you think it's what I want if you really don't. I'd much rather not do this and find something else to do if that's the case. I love you Matt, I'll get over this whole thing if I have to." Matt nodded, his grin getting wider, emerald eyes sparkling.

"I'm sure. Once I thought about it rationally, there really was no problem. And maybe you might get over it, but you would always hold it against me inside, I know you would. So, since there really isn't a problem, I'm not letting that happen." Mello leaned forward and captured Matt's mouth in a grateful, loving kiss.

"I love you," Mello told him when he'd finally released him.

"Yea, I know," Matt said laughing, "Funny how it worked out that way." Mello took his arm and led him back towards the building.

"Let's get back to the room, lock the door and fuck like animals," he suggested making Matt burst into more laughter.

"Any particular animal you have in mind? Bunnies, hamsters…" It was Mello's turn to laugh as he continued to drag Matt into the building.

A lay snuggled against BB's chest; his mind whirring in several directions at once. He continually went over what Wammy had proposed, liking it more and more each time he thought about it. Here was his chance to prove himself as more than what everyone thought of him; to make BB proud of him. Obviously Wammy thought enough of him to invite him into this project, and that alone made him feel good. Now he had to prove he was worthy of it, and wouldn't it be cool if he could be the main one that the old man had mentioned?

He shook his head; in reality he knew that wasn't possible and most likely it would be Lawliet anyway since he was already into solving criminal cases. But at least he could be really good at helping out and showing he was ready to take over if necessary. He snuggled closer against BB who was sleeping peacefully next to him and sighed. He'd do whatever it would take to make BB happy to be with him. With his determination to do whatever he had to do, he finally relaxed and closed his eyes, eventually slipping into a satisfied sleep.

Light looked up from his book and gazed at the clock again before looking over at Lawliet. The dark haired teen was sitting at the desk, typing furiously on his laptop and had been ever since they'd come back to their room after the meeting.

"Lawliet, I think you should stop now and come to bed, it's getting really late and classes start tomorrow," he reminded.

"I have found a lead to this mass murder case; if I stop now…"

"It will still be there tomorrow," Light interjected as he got out of bed and walked over to him, "You need to get some rest." He said gently as Lawliet shook his head.

"No, that isn't possible right now. If I stop working on it the trail may go cold," he said as Light placed his hands on his shoulders.

"Does that really matter right now? You're not running the show yet, no one is expecting you to solve this and no one is paying you for it. You can't let this take you over or you won't get through your classes or the training Wammy has in store for us," he grinned as he leaned down and kissed a pale cheek, "Besides, I want you to come to bed with me." Lawliet stopped typing and turned his face to answer and Light took advantage of that moment and captured his mouth in a kiss instead. Lawliet's hands left the keyboard and they reached up to take Light's face as he kissed him. He still found it difficult to believe that this had truly happened, that Light indeed cared for him. Perhaps he was right; just this once he could let the case go for the evening early. He smiled at Light when the young man pulled away from him.

"Fine, you have convinced me it is time to go to bed," he said and Light smiled back.

"Good, shut down and I'll be waiting for you," he said and walked back to the bed as Lawliet did just that. Once that was done he undressed down to his boxers, turned off the lamp, and climbed into the bed next to Light. He was surprised how right it felt to be next to him, and how much better it felt when Light reached around and gathered him into his arms.

"Light, I hope I don't disappoint you with what I'm about to say now," he began and Light kissed the top of his head.

"I can't imagine anything you could say that would disappoint me," he said and Lawliet sighed.

"I don't know what you are thinking, but I must tell you that although I am happy to be with you right now, I am afraid I am not ready for…escalating the relationship at the moment." At first Light didn't know what he meant, and when he realized it he started to laugh.

"If you're talking about sex Lawliet, don't worry about it. I'm too tired to even try to change your mind!" he laughed again and then kissed him again, "Right now all I want from you is to go to sleep."

"I believe I can do that much for you," Lawliet answered with a grateful smile and then leaned against Light as he allowed himself to relax. He closed his eyes, feeling as if he were finally on the right track in his life; not realizing that Light was thinking the exact same thing.


	6. Chapter 6

Lawliet awoke long before his alarm went off, dawn was just breaking through the room's solitary window and his mind immediately on the case he was working on. He got up as quietly as he could so he wouldn't disturb Light who was still sleeping soundly. Although he was in such a deep sleep he doubted an explosion would bother him at the moment. Having to travel from Japan with the likes of Misa was more than enough to make one exhausted.

He had showered and dressed, gone into the dining room to get a couple of pastries and coffee, and was now back in the room, his fingers flying across the keyboard of his laptop. He was determined to get to the bottom of this case before his first class or he'd have to forego the class to finish it. Not that it would matter, he could navigate his way through that class without thinking about it; it was only a matter of course that he went anyway.

He heard Light's alarm go off behind him, at approximately the same time another alarm went off behind their room door in the form of incessant knocking and a high pitched squeal.

"Liiiight? Are you awake? It's time for breakfast? Liiight?" Lawliet groaned and rubbed his forehead with his fingers in aggravation. Light on the other hand grabbed his pillow and pulled it over his head trying to block out the noise. After another round of knocking, the doorknob began to wiggle as Misa tried to open the door Lawliet had locked just in case.

"Light, please do something about your…fiancé'", he said with a smirk, causing Light to throw the pillow at him.

"I'd love to but murder is against the law," the teen growled sitting up.

"Liiight? What are you doing in there?" another rattle of the doorknob.

"Light isn't the only one in this room, and I demand privacy," Lawliet finally called out.

"Yeah, and I'm not dressed yet, Misa. Go get your breakfast I'll meet you there," Light finally answered and they both suppressed laughter at the heavily dramatic sigh they heard from behind the door.

"Fine. But if you're not there is fifteen minutes I'm coming back for you!" she declared and they gratefully heard her footsteps leave the door. Light finally got out of bed and walked over to the desk where Lawliet was sitting.

"I'm really sorry you have to put up with this," he said apologetically and Lawliet smiled.

"I do not have to put up with anything, you do. She is merely an annoyance to me and I can deal with it until your birthday in February. After you are eighteen and no longer under your father's thumb, we can ignore her," Light raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"You know my birthday?" he asked and Lawliet smiled slyly.

"I know everything about you Light Yagami," he said as Light leaned forward and kissed him.

"I don't know whether I should be amused or worried," he said with a laugh, "But now that means I have to spend time getting to know everything about you." Lawliet turned back to his computer, waving his hand in dismissal.

"Yes, but not now as you have already wasted five minutes and she will be back for you in ten."

"Aw, damn…" Light swore turning to grab clean clothes before running to the shower. He stopped before leaving for one more quick kiss, unlocked the door and then ran out into the hall.

"Come on, come on I'm fucking starving!" Mello complained, as Matt got dressed too slowly to his liking.

"It's your fault I can't move as quickly as I normally do," the red head complained and Mello laughed.

"I'm sorry, was three times too many?" he asked and Matt growled at him as he got his jeans zipped up.

"You're an insatiable pig!" he accused which only made Mello laugh again.

"I don't remember you saying no," he told him and Matt glared at him.

"Would you have listened?" he asked and Mello grinned at him.

"Probably not," he answered and took the frowning red head into his arms, "You know you loved it."

"Maybe," Matt answered, "But you're still a pig!"

"I don't consider it being a pig, it was celebration. We got past our first misunderstanding and I was happy about it. I still am, because for a while there I was worried." Matt smiled and gently kissed the blonde.

"I know, and I'm still sorry I made such a big deal out of nothing," he said and then pulled out of his arms laughing, "Come on let's go, I can hear your stomach growling."

By the time they arrived at the cafeteria, BB and A were already there, and they joined their table as soon as they got their food. BB opened a packet of jam that had been on his plate, and quickly sucked it down. He then smirked as he watched Matt sit carefully on the chair after placing his tray on the table.

"Looks like Mello got a little carried away last night," he said making A snort with laughter.

"Yea, your friend is a fucking animal," Matt said, "But he's not getting anymore for a couple of days so that should calm him down." They all laughed at the choking noise Mello made at the threat, until a high-pitched squeal stopped the laughter.

"There you are Light! Get your breakfast and come join us!" they looked around to see a visibly embarrassed Light standing in the line for food, staring at the waving, screeching blonde at a nearby table, and then bringing a hand to his face as if he were trying to hide.

"Jesus Christ are we going to have to put up with that noise all year?" Mello complained and they all nodded.

"Us? What about poor Light? If he wasn't already gay that bitch would drive him to it!" BB answered and they laughed again. He opened another jam packet and emptied it, his tongue dancing around the inside to make sure he got it all.

"And I thought Lawliet was bad with the way he eats sweets all the time," Mello joked and BB ignored him.

"At least it's only jam he eats," A said, "Lawliet will eat anything that has sugar in it. Speaking of, I guess Light's "fiancé" is more than Lawliet wants to put up with," he added looking around and noticing his BB's twin was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm sure his majesty is busy working on some unbreakable case so he can show off to Wammy," BB nearly spat and Mello shook his head.

"If that's what he's into, what's the problem?" he asked and was then taken aback by the suddenly hate filled stare he received from BB, his red-rimmed eyes narrowed in his disgust.

"Because it makes me sick how much he sucks up to Wammy and how much Wammy dotes on him. You must know that Lawliet's going to be the special one that leads this operation, right?"

"I guess maybe that makes sense considering he's already been working on that kind of thing for a while, but that doesn't really bother me. Why should it bother you?" Mello asked and BB slammed his fork down into his plate.

"Because I'm tired of my perfect brother getting everything he wants around here. He waltzes around here like he owns the damned school and Wammy kisses his ass every way he can!"

"That's not true BB," A ventured and was then sorry when that hateful look was turned on him.

"Are you going to argue with me?" BB demanded and A immediately shook his head, his eyes dropping to his plate. Mello recognized the volatile jealousy he had seen before from his friend, but it didn't think it was fair to either Lawliet or Wammy.

"Well, I don't agree either," Mello challenged, "Lawliet isn't very social and apparently Wammy has a soft spot for him, but I don't think it's the big deal you think it is."

"You suddenly turning into a Lawliet cheerleader? I thought you were MY friend!" BB demanded and Mello rolled his eyes.

"You know I am, you and I have always been close, but I think you're being unfair to Lawliet. I'm not going to get in the middle, it's between you two, but I'm entitled to my opinion," he said and then leaned closer to BB's face, "And if you don't stop being a fuck tard I'm gonna tell everyone about your deformed balls." BB stared at him and then slowly a smile began to spread on his face and he began to laugh.

"There's nothing wrong with my balls, A can tell you that!" he defended as he laughed with everyone else at the table.

"Doesn't matter, once a rumor gets started around here it becomes gospel, and everyone will start whispering and pointing at your crotch when you walk down the halls!"

"They do that anyway, but they do it awe of how gifted I am!" he said and they laughed more, the tenseness quickly forgotten.

"We'll see you in class," BB finally said after finishing his breakfast, "I have to go with A to the medical office to make sure they got his prescription ready," he looked at the young man and smiled warmly, "It makes him nervous dealing with his meds and he forgets important info, so I have to make sure he doesn't fuck it up." A smiled sheepishly, a blush starting to rise to his face.

"I don't like I have to take them, that's all," he said and BB ruffled his hair.

"You can always sell the ones you don't use, you could make a killing here!" Matt suggested and BB shook his head.

"Don't give him ideas," he said standing up, A getting up with him, "Later assholes," he said as they walked away from the table. Once they were gone Matt and Mello watched them leave and then looked at each other.

"Holy crap he has a major hate on for Lawliet!" Matt said and Mello nodded finishing his coffee.

"He always has, but I think it's gotten worse," he shrugged, "It's gonna make for an interesting year with this new program. BB's a good kid, he just gets a little jealous once in a while." Matt shook his head.

"A little jealous? That's like saying you like a little sex once in a while!" he said laughing and Mello feigned innocence.

"But it's true. I do like a little sex once in a while, and then a little more, and then a little bit more than that…."

"Shut up and show me where my class is!" Matt said continuing to laugh and they got up from the table and headed out of the room; making sure to point and laugh at Light as they walked past the table, making the young man nearly choke on his breakfast.

Their first two weeks of school seemed to fly by, partly due to the anticipation of starting the new program. They were all excited about it, and it gave them something to look forward to other than exams and book reports.

On their way to Wammy's apartment, Near turned into the hallway with them. Matt heard Mello's audible groan and elbowed him.

"Hey, Near! Are you excited to get started?" he asked and Near sighed as his dark eyes rolled up to Matt's face.

"Not excited per se, but it is interesting to me and I look forward to it," he answered and Mello snorted.

"You wouldn't know excitement if it set your ass on fire," he said and received a punch from Matt.

"Ignore him," he said to the white haired young man, "He left his manners in his underwear." Near let a smile appear on his normally stoic face and nodded.

"It's okay, I learned a long time ago to ignore such things. Are you…excited? I seem to recall you having some issue with your family." Matt smiled, surprised Near even noticed he had been unsure at the last meeting.

"Oh yea, that's all straightened out. Besides, I couldn't let this idiot get involved in something like this without me," he reached up and patted Mello's face, "He needs so much attention!" he burst into laughter as Mello pushed him and moved away from him.

"Asshole," he spat at him, "I'll leave you two girls to have your little conversation." He added and moved ahead of them quickly, running up the stairs to Wammy's floor taking two at a time.

"Shouldn't you go after him?" Near asked and Matt shook his head with a snort.

"Nah, he'll get over it. Has something happened between you two to make him so…aggravated with you?" he added now that he had the chance to be alone with Near.

"Not that I can think of," Near answered, his fingers finding his hair and twirling as he thought, "I am aware that he doesn't seem to care for me very much; I assumed it had to do with the fact that I get better grades than he does," they began to walk together up the stairs.

"Maybe I can calm the situation down some, I have some influence over him," Matt answered and Near nodded again.

"If we are to work together now and in the future, it would be best if we could all get along with each other, but I am used to not being liked and can handle it either way." He answered and for just a moment Matt thought he saw a flash of sadness in the dark eyes that normally showed nothing. Now that he thought about it, the only other eyes that he knew that looked like that were Lawliet's. He smiled again and reached into his pocket for his game.

"Yea, you're right it would be better. Don't let him worry you, he's a lot of noise but underneath…"

"He's still more noise," Near added making Matt break into laughter again.

"Yea, you're right about that," he answered as they turned down the hall toward's Wammy's room. Upon reaching it, he saw Mello leaning against the wall next to Wammy's door, his arms crossed and a not too pleasant look on his face.

"Took you long enough; what did you two do, dance your way up here?" he asked as they came down the hall towards him.

"Stop being such a bitch," Matt said as Near walked past him and knocked on the door, "No one told you to run ahead." Before Mello could answer, the door opened and Lawliet was standing on the other side.

"Come on in, dinner's almost ready," he said moving out of the way so they could.

"We get dinner too?" Matt asked and took Mello's hand as they walked in, "I think I'm going to enjoy this even more!"

"Don't get your hopes up, this is only because it is our first meeting," Lawliet warned him as he shut the door behind theme, "This is going to be more work than fun," he finished.

"Typical, leave it to you to suck all the air out of the room," BB said from inside the apartment, making Lawliet frown at him as Light walked over to him in support.

"I don't want anyone to think this is some fraternity type party," he defended, "I already know what is involved in what Wammy wants to do, it will not be easy."

"Of course you do," BB answered but before he could finish Wammy walked into the main room from wherever he'd been.

"Good evening gentlemen," he said looking around the room where they were all seated, "I thought it would be a good idea to begin with dinner before we get into anything really serious," he looked at each one, "I trust no one here has decided to abandon the project?" they all shook their heads.

"Very good, that makes me extremely pleased; I am looking forward to working with each one of you. Now come and let's have dinner before we start working in earnest." He gestured at the table where food was set up buffet style. They all nodded, grabbed plates and began to get food.

As they ate, Wammy explained to them how he had begun to set up the network; that he planned to continue to start small, checking for cases worldwide that seemed to stump the local police forces. He would offer their services, for a fee of course, to be paid upon completion of the case. He was sure they would be skeptical at first, but he was also sure that once they got started and their expertise was shown, it would take no time for them to be in demand.

"Can we ask now who the lead in this is going to be?" A asked and ignored the snort he heard from BB next to him.

"It will be Lawliet of course," Near answered and Wammy smiled as he nodded.

"That's correct; Lawliet is the natural choice as he has already shown amazing aptitude in this area and has already solved several cases on his own. One of the rooms on this floor will be set up as his base of operations with state of the art computer systems, programs, face and voice and face recognition software, and everything else he could possibly need to achieve the goal we are working for. I will be responsible for gathering the possible cases, doing all of the connecting with the various police forces and agencies, keeping control of contacts and situations and making sure that he will have everything he needs so that all he needs to do is concentrate on the cases."

"And what's Light going to do, clean up after him?" he asked laughing. Lawliet dropped his fork and started to speak until Light shook his head, taking his hand.

"On the contrary, Light's expertise besides his intelligence is his ability to deal with people, his social skills are beyond compare and thus he will be Lawliet's legs and eyes on the ground as it will prove impossible over time for Lawliet to get physically involved," he smiled warmly at the raven haired genius, "And although brilliant, Lawliet does lack in certain social skills while Light can handle anything and anyone if necessary."

"Except for a certain whiney blonde!" Matt added making everyone laugh.

"I daresay Ms. Amane is not going to be happy with your new schedule," Wammy said sipping his coffee, "You will have very little time to spend with her."

"For which I'm very grateful," Light answered smiling at Lawliet.

"One final thing before we get started," Wammy told them, "Lawliet will be known simply as L when we are here. I wish you to get used to using that name so that no mistakes are made in the future when discussing this program and/or him. No one must ever know his true identity. In this way, should any one of you eventually take on the role the name will never have to change, it will always be L." he finished his coffee and stood from the table.

"Now gentlemen it is time to get started. I also will have a cover name in regard to this program, I shall be known as Watari. Please begin to address me by this name while you are here and only while you are here. This way in the future when this program is completely on line, discussions outside of this room if overheard will not endanger anyone if you are overheard discussing L and Watari. Let's begin by clearing the table and then we'll get right to work."

Once the table was clean and all food put away, Wammy brought out files and laptops for them all and set them on the table.

"We are going to start with a few simple cases and use those as training tools for now. L you go over to the desk and continue working on your current case and let me know the minute you have a breakthrough; Light I need you here with the others."

"I told you the little princess would have the lead," BB said as he sat down next to Mello.

"Well, obviously he deserves it if he's already finished cases and continues to work on them. Why do you have a problem with that?" he answered and BB's smile was more a sneer than anything else.

"It bothers me that I'm working on catching up to what he's already doing. He already thinks he's fucking perfect, this isn't going to make it any better." He answered and Matt sighed.

"Apparently he's pretty damn close when it comes to this," Mello said with a laugh, "Stop being an asshole and just deal with it. You'll get a chance to prove what a pretty girl you are soon enough," he finished and was gratified to see B's sneer actually turn into a real smile. Matt elbowed Mello and leaned into his ear.

"Make sure you remember your own advice when dealing with Near," he said and laughed when Mello turned on him so quickly he nearly fell off the chair.

"That's different!" Mello hissed and Matt rolled his eyes.

"Maybe in your addled brain, big boy but it's the same shit and the sooner you figure that out, the happier you're gonna be. And if you don't I'm cutting you off until you do."

Before Mello could answer Wammy had finished passing out everything and stood before them.

"Here is your first case, read it and put together your ideas for all the particulars. You have twenty minutes, starting now."


	7. Chapter 7

Metamorphosis 7

"Another glorious day begins," Matt said sitting down at the table in the cafeteria with his tray of food, "And aren't you just a little ray of sunshine?" he added looking at Mello.

"Don't start shit, I haven't had my coffee yet," Mello nearly growled which only made Matt laugh.

"Who pissed on your cornflakes this morning?" BB asked and that made both A and Matt break into laughter.

"I was up late working on that fucking case Wammy gave me," Mello said stirring sugar into his coffee, "I can't seem to figure this crap out."

"Oh I know what you mean," A said looking a little nervous, "I'm having a hard time concentrating sometimes, but I think it's my meds."

"You'll be okay, don't blame the meds," BB said sternly and A shook his head.

"But they do make me kinda foggy, you know that," he said and looked down at his food, "I don't want to screw anything up, maybe I should…" BB turned on him so quickly he nearly dropped his fork.

"Don't you even THINK of stopping your meds!" he nearly shouted and A shook his head.

"I…I wasn't thinking of stopping BB, I was thinking of maybe taking a smaller dosage so I could concentrate better, that's all!"

"Not even that, just work around it. I don't want to hear any more about it," BB said and after a moment A nodded and went back to his breakfast. He was going to do it anyway; he just wouldn't mention it anymore. If he didn't, he ran the risk of being kicked off the team and he couldn't let that happen, he'd be separated from BB.

"Feeling better big boy?" Matt asked as Mello took another big sip of coffee.

"Beginning to feel human," Mello admitted and took another sip.

"Which case are you working on that's kicking your ass?" Matt asked.

"Assasinations in Paris. I know it's related to the drug cartel there, but I can't find one little goddamn clue to prove it and I keep going over and over it and I just can't see it!"

"Maybe that's the problem," BB said, "You're looking at it too hard. Let it sit for a while and then go back to it with fresh eyes." Matt looked up as he saw Near walk by with his tray of food and sit at a nearby table with only his robot as company. He turned back to Mello.

"Or you could ask Near, I think he's working on that one too," Matt ventured and nearly choked at the look he got.

"I'd rather walk these halls naked than ask him anything," Mello answered and Matt grinned.

"I can't say I don't enjoy the picture that's bringing to my mind, but you're going to have to work together eventually, this is a good way to start," he partner suggested.

"No, I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing I couldn't come up with something on my own. He's probably got it all figured out already anyway!" Mello said looking at the subject of our discussion with disgust.

"You don't know that," Matt said, "He might need your insight into something he hasn't figured out yet, but you'll never know unless you ask him, Mello." The blonde didn't answer, he merely went back to his breakfast. Matt turned to face BB.

"What do we do with these guys?" he asked and BB laughed.

"I'm still trying to figure it out," he said and then laughed again when he noticed Misa coming in, followed by a very uncomfortable looking Light who looked even worse when she reached back and took his arm.

"She might as well have a leash on him the way he follows her," he said and they all laughed.

"I feel sorry for him, you know he'd much rather be with Lawliet than her," Mello said.

"Then he should grow some balls and tell her to fuck off," BB said finishing his breakfast.

"It's not that simple, he's got to kiss her ass at least until he's 18 or his dad will pull him out of here, you know that," A answered.

"So I've heard," BB said and looked in their direction when he heard a characteristic shrilling of Light's name, "He should pay to have someone kill her, then all problems solved," he grinned, the red around his eyes seeming to glow, "Hell, I'd do it for free she's so fucking annoying!" His three companions stared at him in silence for a moment, until he broke into laughter.

"Damn BB you scared me for a minute," Mello said to his best friend, "I thought you were serious!"

"If she doesn't stop that noise, I just might be," BB answered as he stood up, "I gotta get out of here."

"Yea, it's time to get to class anyway," Mello agreed and they all stood up, bringing their trays with them.

"But Liiight, I've barely seen you all week!" the blonde across from him at the breakfast table complained.

"Yes, I know and I'm really sorry about that, but this is my senior year, I have a lot of work to do and I'm working on this special project, it takes up a lot of my free time too."

Light tried to explain in between bites of his breakfast.

"But it isn't fair! I only came all this way so we could spend more time together!" she continued and Light sighed.

"Look Misa, I told you from the beginning that this wouldn't work. You want something from me that I just can't give you and my final year here means a lot to me. It's going to shape the rest of my life, my future…"

"You mean "our" future don't you?" she said reaching for his hand across the table. For a moment Light thought he would scream; she just would not listen no matter what he said. Instead he took a deep breath, realizing that it was better to play along and make her as happy as possible, knowing full well she was reporting to both of their families. It seemed forever until his 18th birthday.

"Yes, of course, our future," he answered, sliding his hand from under hers, his meaning completely different from what she meant, and was rewarded with a wide smile from her before she went back to her breakfast. A few minutes later she looked up to see Lawliet walking into the cafeteria. She snorted her disdain as she watched him get food.

"There's that creepy Lawliet. I don't know why you're sharing a room with him," she said and was slightly alarmed at the warm smile she saw on Light's face as the dark haired young man turned in their direction and smiled just as warmly at him.

"He's not creepy, you just don't understand him," he defended reaching for his orange juice.

"He IS creepy! He's always barefoot, he's almost always by himself, he never combs his hair and he wears the same thing every day. You don't think that's creepy?" she demanded.

"Like I said, you don't understand him. He's got really sensitive skin, a lot of fabrics really irritate him. He discovered that those items are the most comfortable he could wear and so he that's all he wears," he grinned, "Sure saves a lot of time getting dressed in the morning!"

"I still think it's creepy," she said watching as Lawliet walked back out of the room with orange juice and Danish, "There are probably animals nesting in his hair!" Light slammed down his glass and leaned across the table, his eyes narrowed to slits in anger.

"Stop it Misa, stop it right now or I'm going to stop eating with you! Lawliet is my best friend and I'm not going to listen to you talk about him like that!" Misa pulled back in surprise at his sudden flare of anger.

"I'm sorry Light but he just makes me nervous, and I think he has a crush on you and I'm afraid of what he might try when he's alone with you!" she said trying to defend herself, "And you know you've been confused with all the pressure of school and everything, I don't want him to take advantage of you." Light leaned back and smiled at her, wondering what she'd do if he told her HE was the one who was planning on trying something the next time the two were alone.

"Don't worry that's not a problem. As far as being confused is concerned, for the first time in my life I know exactly what I'm doing" he said and looked at his watch, "I've got to get to my class. I'll see you at lunch." He said and got up from the table.

"No kiss goodbye?" she asked and Light inwardly cringed.

"Not in front of all these people," he said and continued to walk away, thinking there was someone else he'd much rather kiss.

Misa sat at the table for a few more minutes, fuming at the lack of affection she was getting from Light. As she fumed, she saw Lawliet's brother and his friends get up from their table and begin to head out. This was her chance to get a message to that creepy Lawliet. As she got up and made her way to BB, Mello saw her coming and nudged his friend.

"Don't look now but Light's little lady seems to want a word with you," he said and laughed at the look of disgust that crossed his friend's face.

"I have nothing to say to that ridiculous bitch," he said moving away from her direction. Misa marched right over to him, grabbing his arm as he walked by her. BB turned his head slowly, looking down at the hand on his arm and back at her. The glare from his red-rimmed dark eyes frightened her and she immediately moved her hand.

"What do you want?" he nearly growled at her and she cleared her throat nervously.

"I just wanted you to deliver a message to your brother for me," she said in the quietest voice they'd ever heard from her.

"Really? What makes you think I'd deliver a message for you?" he asked, a small sneer finding it's way on his face.

"Because it's really important," she said finally finding her voice, "I think he wants to do something perverted to my Light and I want you to tell him that he'd better not try anything …" BB broke out into laughter, along with the other three standing with him.

"Oh, I can guarantee that he wants to do something perverted to YOUR Light," he answered, "The question is, what if YOUR Light wants him to?" he leaned closer to her, making her back up a step, "Deliver your own messages," he told her then turned from her and walked out of the room, A at his heels.

"Light's a big boy," Mello told her as he walked by, "If anything perverted happens it will be because he asked for it."

"And he'll probably love it!" Matt added laughing and followed Mello out of the room.

"My Light is NOT a pervert!" she called after them, making them laugh even harder. She stormed back to the table and picked up her books, planning to follow BB's advice and deliver her own message.

"Oh man can you believe her?" Matt laughed as he and Mello made their way to class.

"She didn't know what she was doing if she thought she could get BB to do anything for her,"

"This is going to get really ugly for Lawliet and Light isn't it?" he asked and Mello sighed.

"Yea, it just might. It all depends on how they handle it." Matt nodded then flashed a smile at Mello.

"I'm so glad we're so uncomplicated," he said and Mello laughed.

"Uncomplicated? Us?" he asked and Matt nodded again.

"I love you, you love me and there's no bullshit in between to deal with, nobody to get in the way," he explained and for a moment Mello looked away and then shook his head.

"Not anymore anyway," he said almost to himself. Matt realized almost immediately after he spoke exactly what he meant. He reached over and grabbed Mello's arm, making him stop and look at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think about what that could mean to you," he said and Mello smiled sadly at him.

"It's okay, I've almost stopped thinking about them anymore. I do wonder about my niece every now and then but that's a waste of time, I'll never see her again."

"Mello, I'm so sorry. But…what's to keep you from giving them a call once in a while. Your brother hasn't turned against you, he could tell you how she's doing and maybe even send you a picture…" Mello shook his head violently.

"No, they don't want me in her life; at least his wife doesn't anyway and he always does what she wants. I've made a clean break and I have to keep it that way, it's easier if I don't…if I stay…" he stopped, tears trying to break their way through as he fought it. Matt grabbed his arm and pulled the blonde against him, not caring who saw.

"It's okay Mello, it's okay," he whispered into his lover's ear, "I love you and it's gonna be okay." He felt Mello nod and take a deep breath.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," Mello said and pulled away, wiping the few tears that had fallen from his face.

"Of course you are," Matt said smiling and ran a hand through the blonde hair, "Come on, let's get to class before we get into trouble for being late." Mello pulled back from Matt's hand in his hair.

"Stop that, somebody'll think we're gay or something," he said and they both broke into laughter as they continued down the hall.


	8. Chapter 8

Metamorphosis 8

Misa waited until the school day was over before confronting Lawliet with what his brother had told her. She had made up her mind that she was going to have it out with him for once and for all, making sure he understood under no certain terms that Light was hers. She knew Light was conflicted and confused, and she blamed it all on Lawliet and his other perverted friends. She went over in her head exactly what she wanted to say as she made her way to their side of the building.

Lawliet moaned into the kiss, his arms reaching up and around Light's body, his hands reaching up into the soft auburn hair. Light held him tightly, trying to drown out the frustrations of the day in Lawliet's arms. It had been several weeks since they had admitted to each other that they wanted to be more than friends, and had been sleeping side by side each night. He'd known Lawliet had been nervous about going to the next level of their relationship and he hadn't pushed it; but now he felt it was time to move in that direction. Now that his feelings were out in the open, his want and need for the dark haired genius had grown, and he desperately wanted to move forward and show him just how much he cared. He smiled down at Lawliet when he pulled away, running a hand through the wild hair.

"I've waited all day for that," he said and Lawliet nodded.

"I must admit I have looked forward to being alone with you as well," he answered. Light smiled and kissed him again.

"You want to go for a walk outside? I don't have much homework tonight, and we've got some time before dinner and Watari." Lawliet shook his head, glancing at the computer on his desk.

"I need to work on my case…" he began and Light sighed.

"Lawliet, there's time for that, it's not as if you're getting paid for it yet. I really need to get out of this building for a while and we need to talk about…things." Lawliet brought a thumb to his mouth, his cocked to one side.

"Things? What things do we need to talk about?" he asked.

"Well, mostly about us, what's next for example." Lawliet continued to stare at him, his eyes never blinking.

"What's next? In what way?" he asked and Light smiled.

"Exactly what we need to talk about. Come on, let's find a nice quiet place outside," he suggested and reached for the door. He wasn't prepared for what he found on the other side.

"Light! I'm so glad you're here, because you need to hear this too!" Misa fumed and marched past him into the room, her finger up and pointing directly at Lawliet.

"I suggest you drop that finger if you wish it to remain intact," Lawliet warned and Misa put her hand down.

"Fine. But I'm here to tell you that now I have proof about what you want to do with my Light, even though he doesn't know it, and I'm not going to let you do it!" Light groaned and moved in between the two.

"Misa, what the hell are you talking about?" he asked as Misa crossed her arms angrily.

"I talked to his brother today and he told me under no uncertain terms that he wants to do perverted things to you! And his perverted friends all laughed at me as if I were stupid!"

The two young men stared at each other as Light quickly thought of an argument.

"Of course they laughed at you, because you ARE being stupid! Don't you understand that BB is just trying to annoy Lawliet by saying something like that?" Light argued and Misa shook her head stubbornly.

"I don't think so, I think he was telling the truth," she turned her anger back on Lawliet and for just a moment the look on his face almost made her not continue. She had never seen him so angry, his eyes narrowed to slits, the thumb at his mouth being chewed with such fervor that she was expecting to see blood. He looked up at her finally, a smile slowly spreading on his face as he dropped the thumb and shoved his hands into his pockets. From where she was standing, that smile didn't even begin to reach his eyes and made him look even more creepy to her.

"I apologize for my brother's and his friend's ridiculousness. You must know by now that my brother and I do not have the best of relationships, due in most part by the fact that we have been separated most of our lives, only meeting here. He probably relished the opportunity to make me look bad. I assure you that I have no perverted designs on Light that he does not know about and that you are the only girl in his life." Light tried very hard not to laugh at how Lawliet had worded his answer, noting Misa's happy reaction.

"Are you sure?", she asked finally, scrutinizing the dark haired young man closely, "Because I'll know if something else is going on, and I have his parent's permission to tell them if I think something is wrong!" L nodded and walked towards the door.

"I am quite sure Ms. Amane," he turned and looked at Light, "Light kiss your fiance' and put her mind to rest. I need some air and to have a conversation with my brother. I will see you later at our special project meeting." He started out of the door and Light stopped him by grabbing his arm, obviously upset.

"No…we had plans…" he started and Lawliet shook his head.

"Nothing that cannot be rescheduled. Your fiance' needs your attention and it is important that you give it to her, I'm sure you understand why." He tried to smile again, but Light saw it waver, saw the flicker of sadness in the dark eyes before Lawliet covered it up again. Misa threw her arms around his neck from behind him and it was all he could do to keep from snatching away from her.

"Light, where's my kiss? You see, even Lawliet knows you haven't been paying enough attention to me!" Before he turned to face her, Light tried to communicate with his eyes to Lawliet, about how much he hated this, and how much he cared for him. The message must have gone through because the young man nodded before walking out of the door, closing it behind him so he wouldn't have to see or hear the kiss.

For a moment he leaned against the door, trying to maintain control of his wildly fluctuating emotions; intense anger at his brother and hurt over what was happening behind that door. At the moment he could do nothing about the situation behind the door, but he could go deal with his brother.

Near was surprised to see the red head come into the common room alone carrying his game, and even more surprised when he sat down next to him on the floor as he played

"Hey Near, what's up?" Matt asked as he sat down next to the surprised young man, "You've got to be the only one of us who doesn't look all stressed out over our project."

"I have no reason to be stressed out, I have completed mine." The white haired genius answered continuing to watch the electric train circle in front of him.

"You were working on the Paris thing, like Mello right?" Matt asked and Near nodded.

"There were many unexpected twists and turns, it was quite interesting. I must commend Lawliet for being able to figure it out at such a young age as the case is a couple of years old."

"I wonder if you could do me a favor, Near," Matt began, "Mello is having a helluva time with this one. Is there a clue you could give me that I could give to him, just to maybe set him on a track he hasn't thought of yet?" Near turned to look at him, a small smile on his face.

"All he had to do was ask, part of the project is to see how well we can work together. Watari wished to see how we combined our talents and bounced ideas off of one another." Matt sighed and put down his game.

"Yea I know, and I tried to explain that to him but he's so stubborn about this. I think eventually I'll wear him down, but for right now I thought I'd do the asking because it really is making him crazy. He barely slept last night, and he's napping now trying to catch up." Near nodded and then smiled.

"What does he need to know?" he asked and Matt smiled back and began to explain where Mello was stuck.

Lawliet could not remember a time when he was so angry and so hurt. He knew his brother knew everything about the situation between him and Light, and he knew the consequences if the truth wasn't kept from Misa. Then it was obvious that BB didn't care if it hurt him, if it ruined his only chance for a relationship. He knew BB wasn't that happy with him, but he never thought he would actually try to hurt him. He got to BB's dorm room and didn't stop to knock, pushing the door open with such force that it swung in and slammed against the wall inside.

"What the fuck!" BB yelled jumping up from the desk he had been sitting at next to A, helping him with his homework.

"How dare you?", Lawliet asked through clenched teeth, "How dare you jeopardize my situation with Light? I didn't know you hated me that much!"

"If you're talking about my conversation with Misa, you're blowing it all out of proportion. It was just a joke to shut her up." BB replied getting up from the desk.

"You can't joke about that BB, you know what she's capable of!"

"Really, Lawliet it was just a joke, all of us were laughing at how stupid she was, we didn't think…"A began and Lawliet turned on him.

"No, you didn't think, none of you did. Luckily I was able to turn it around, but I'm telling you never to do anything so stupid again!" BB laughed as he stood face to face with his brother, his red rimmed eyes flashing in amusement.

"Or what, Lawliet? What are you going to do if I make things a little difficult for you and your little fuck buddy?" Lawliet's eyes narrowed dangerously, his face coloring with his emotion.

"Do not call Light that!" he countered and after a moment BB laughed and turned back to A.

"You know what that statement tells me, A? It tells me that Lawliet is still a virgin!", he turned back to his brother, "You haven't done anything more than sleep with him have you? If you haven't, you better be careful, Light might turn to Misa to at least get his rocks off and you know she'll be more than happy to give it to him. Where will that leave our dear little Lawliet if he happens to enjoy it and he decides to stick with her? Nice to know there's at least one thing you don't know every fucking thing about!" he burst into laughter, turning to A to see if he was joining him; but A was looking at Lawliet, seeing him seethe in anger and humiliation, something he'd never seen BB's brother do. Then suddenly without warning, he saw Lawliet lean back on one foot, and quickly pick up the other, aiming it squarely at BB's chest.

"B! Look out!" he yelled but not fast enough. By the time B had turned around, Lawliet's foot had reached his chest and forced him backwards. He flew back landing against the door and slid to the floor, all the air knocked out of him. A jumped up and ran to him, kneeling at his side as BB struggled to sit up.

"Light would not do that, he cares nothing for her!" Lawliet told him as he struggled to stand. BB glared at him as he got his breath back, the unholy glow of his eyes getting stronger. He finally had something over Lawliet, something he could hurt him with.

"Maybe not now," he said as he stood up pushing A away from him, "But who knows what could happen if you keep holding out on him. What's the matter, you afraid it might hurt? Or do you think you're just too good for that kind of thing? Sex is beneath your lofty sensibilities Lawliet? Can't imagine yourself sweaty, naked, vulnerable? That's it, isn't it? It's the one thing you know nothing about and can't be in control of isn't it? Better stop being afraid, coz unlike you Light is human and has normal needs and he'll get it from someone if it's not you!" This time he was ready for L's move and leaned out of the way, bringing his fist around and landing it on Lawliet's face. Lawliet fell backwards against the bed, then moved quickly when he saw BB coming towards him, lifting both feet and pushing BB away with such force that he fell against A and they both crashed against the wall.

"I am NOT afraid!" Lawliet yelled as he rushed forward grabbing BB by his shirt and pulling him up to face him, "I am not afraid!" he said again but it sounded more as if he were trying to convince himself, and it only made his brother laugh.

"Then you're a bigger asshole than I thought you were," he said pushing Lawliet off of him and hitting him again.

Light closed his eyes and tried to imagine the lips that were pressed against his were Lawliet's but they were so different it just didn't work. He pulled away to see Misa staring up at him, soft tears standing in her eyes.

"This is the first time you've really kissed me," she said almost in a whisper, "It means you really do love me doesn't it?" Light almost didn't hear her question, his mind was completely on finding Lawliet even though he was looking at her. He knew how upset he was and he had to get to him. He let his mind come back to the question he heard and avoided answering it.

"Misa, it's getting close to dinner time and I have a lot of homework to do. I'll see you later, okay?" she smiled and nodded leaning forward for another quick kiss before running out of the door. For a few moments he felt slightly guilty about leading her on, but he had told her the truth and she wouldn't listen. He had to do what he had to in order to make sure nothing happened between now and his birthday. After that, it didn't matter. But now all he wanted to do was get to Lawliet before matters got worse between he and his brother.

When he got to BB and A's room, he could hear crashing from inside and he realized the worst had happened. He threw open the door in time to see BB fly across the room from one of Lawliet's kicks. He was horrified to see blood running from Lawliet's nose and mouth, and a cut above his eye.

"Lawliet!" he yelled and ran to the young man, grabbing him before he could move again against BB. A took the opportunity and ran to BB, wrapping his arms around him to hold him where he was as well.

"God, look at you," Light said as he examined the damage, "The fight's over come on let me get you cleaned up."

"Yeah take him away before I kill him," BB called from where he was. Light turned to look at him and was pleased to see he didn't look that much better than Lawliet did.

"Shut up BB, if it wasn't for your mouth this wouldn't have happened at all," he said and began to lead Lawliet out of the room.

"You may fight better than you used to," BB taunted, "But you're still a coward where it matters aren't you?" Lawliet stopped and tried to get back to him but Light held him back.

"Stop it Lawliet, he's not worth it" he said sternly and pulled the still angry teen out of the room. Once they were back in their room, Light had Lawliet sit down on the bed while he looked over his injuries.

"You sit here and don't move until I get back from the infirmary with something to clean those cuts and some bandages," he told him and left, coming back a few minutes later with some bandages and antiseptic.

"Look, I know you were angry but do you think this was such a good idea?" Light asked him wiping blood from his face.

"I didn't think about it, I moved merely on instinct," Lawliet answered and Light grinned. Lawliet watched Light as he cleaned the blood from his face; BB's taunts echoing in his mind.

"He looked worse than you do, so I guess he got your message," Light said and then was startled when he realized that there were tears falling from the dark eyes.

"What's the matter, are you hurt worse than I thought? You want to go to the infirmary?" Lawliet hastily shook his head and stood up, walking away from the concerned teen.

"I'm fine," he walked over to his desk, picking up what was left of his cake and looked at the clock on the desk, "It is getting close to dinner time. Misa will be looking for you." He took a bite, his fork slamming into the plate harder than he had meant to. Light moved quickly to him, putting his hands on his shoulders and turning him around.

"Are you crazy? Do you think I'm going to spend time with her after what's happened? I'm staying with you! She got her damned kiss, she's fine for now and even if she wasn't I'd still be staying with you."

"Light…" Lawliet began and Light shook his head.

"No argument, Lawliet. You say here and rest, I'll go get us some dinner and we'll eat in here and you can relax until time to go see Wammy."

"No…B will think I'm hiding…"

"I don't give a fuck what BB thinks! We're staying here. When I see Misa I'll tell her we have work to do on our project and I can't take the time away from it to eat in the cafeteria. Okay?" Lawliet nodded and allowed himself to be led back to the bed.

"Lie down, I shouldn't be long," Light told him and for a moment he just gazed at him, realizing at that moment how much he really did care for Lawliet, and feeling guilty for the situation that caused him to get into this fight in the first place. He leaned down and very softly kissed the uninjured side of Lawliet's mouth, then left the room closing the door behind him.

Lawliet couldn't keep his mind from drifting back to what BB had told him. What if he was right? What if his fear of sex drove Light from him right into the arms of Misa? He knew he had to get over it or risk losing Light, but he wasn't sure how to do it. He rolled over onto his side and began to cry.

Mello opened his eyes and stretched. He felt a hundred times better after his nap, but now he was also starving. He wondered for a moment where Matt was but he figured he was out having a smoke. He sat up and remembered he still had to finish that project. He sighed deeply and ran his hands through his hair. He was stuck, there was simply something he could not see and it was making him crazy. He got out of bed and walked over to the desk and sat down, turning on his laptop and going over the case again for what seemed like the millionth time. He and Matt had gotten into a small argument over his refusal to not seeking help from Near, but he simply couldn't bring himself to do that, even if it was part of the project. He had to prove to everyone, but especially himself, that he was just as capable as Near and could do this.

"Except that I CAN'T fucking do this," he said to himself banging his fist on the desk, "Why can't I see what's wrong?" he yelled picking up the stapler from his desk and flinging it across the room towards the door. At the same moment, Matt opened the door and then hit the floor when he heard the sound of something hitting the wall by the door.

Mello burst into laughter as he watched Matt cover his head with his hands.

"What's the matter, you think we're being attacked?" he asked when Matt finally peeked out.

"What the hell was that?" Matt asked as he began to get up, "Were you that pissed I wasn't here when you woke up?" Mello laughed again.

"No, sorry, I didn't know you were coming in. This fucking case…and I only have another hour before we go upstairs."

"Well, I think I can help you with that," Matt said walking over to the computer and going through the case, "Here's something I think you might have missed." Mello walked over and stood behind the red head, watching as he scrolled through the countless pages of information. He stopped midway and highlighted information before turning back to Mello.

"Now, scrutinize this bit and look for the one thing that doesn't fit," he said. Mello stared at him for a minute and then did as he was asked, scrutinizing the information. Suddenly his blue eyes grew wide as he reread the information.

"Oh my God, I've been so fucking stupid," he said as he reread it for a third time. Matt then opened the folder that contained evidence and pictures and pulled out one of them, his finger pointing to a particular area on the crime scene. Mello snatched the picture up and stared at it, shaking his head.

"I can't believe I kept overlooking this," he said then reached up and grabbed Matt's face, bringing it down so he could kiss him, "I love you!" he said excitedly and Matt grinned at him.

"Aw, shucks!" he said and they both laughed.

"Now I know exactly where to go with this!", Mello said, his fingers moving furiously over the keyboard, "How the hell did you figure this out?" Matt ran a hand through his hair, and took a deep breath.

"Well, actually, in all honesty I didn't," he began and Mello turned to look at him.

"Where'd you get it from then?" he asked.

"I got it from Near, actually," he said and braced for the reaction. Mello stared at him for a minute before he reacted.

"Near? You got it from Near?" he asked and Matt nodded.

"Yea, I saw him in the common room and I asked him about it," Matt answered. Mello turned from him as he digested the information. "Look, Mello…he has an incredibly analytic mind. I never would have figured that out either without having it pointed out to me. And remember, Watari wanted us to work together, use our individual strengths to work it out together. If you weren't so stubborn this would have been done ages ago and you could have slept last night!" He hadn't been sure how Mello was going to react, he figured he might be a little pissed, but he wasn't expecting what happened next.

Mello turned away from him and stared at the screen for a few moments and then without warning he jumped up, kicking away the chair from behind him and grabbing Matt by his shirt, pulling him forward.

"You got it from Near when you knew I didn't want to go to him for any help, you knew that!" he yelled and Matt pulled away from him.

"I know you're being a dick about this whole Near thing! Didn't you hear anything I said about Watari wanting us to work together? I was trying to help you…" the rest of his sentence was cut off by Mello punching him and sending him flying against the wall.

"I'd rather not get it done than have help from him!" he yelled as Matt rubbed his face in surprise and hurt, "I thought you understood that!"

"And I thought you were better than this," Matt said as he slowly stood up, his green eyes reflecting the anger and hurt he now felt, "I knew you wouldn't be happy that I did it this way, but I thought you'd understand why, that I did it because I love you and that you'd grow the fuck up and stop acting like you have to prove you're better than everyone else," he stood up and walked across the room and out of the door slamming it behind him.

Mello watched him leave and then felt the anger drain out of him as he realized that Matt was absolutely right; he had been acting like a child over the entire Near situation. It had started when he was a child and had first started coming to Wammy's and he never let it go. He had always been the best in the schools before coming here; the smartest, the one who got everything right. After the accident when he lost his parents and was burned, when the kids either ran from him in fear or made fun of him, all he had was the fact that he was smarter than all of them that kept him going. His constant fights and upsets, as well as the fact that he was just too smart for the school he was going to, was what made the teachers suggest The Wammy's House to his brother, and the inheritance from his parent's deaths that made it possible. Near besting him in everything, even if it was by such a small margin, took away the one thing he had over anyone and that made him furious and he never got over it…until now. He choked back a sob as he realized what he had done, that he had actually struck Matt. He ran for the door, he had to find him, he had to apologize before the worst happened.


	9. Chapter 9

Metamorphosis 9

Mello found Matt where he thought he might, outside sitting on the stairs having a cigarette. He ran to him, calling his name. Matt looked up at the sound of his name and then got up and walked away, towards the lake and the wooded area behind the school Mello picked up his speed and ran to catch up, calling him as he did.

"Matt! God damn it Matt, wait, I'm sorry!" he caught up with the red head by grabbing the back of his vest and slowing him down. Matt whirled around and pushed him away,

"You think all you have to do is say you're sorry?", the red head yelled at him, "You think that word is some kind of fucking magic? You think that's enough to make me want to stay with you after this? All I wanted to do was help you Mello, and you punched me in the fucking mouth!" Mello cringed at Matt's words, looking at the blood running from Matt's mouth from where he'd punched him. He reached out to touch it and Matt slapped his hand away.

"Don't you fucking touch me," he hissed at him, "Ever again!" He then turned and began to walk away again. Mello stood in shock as he watched Matt walk away from him, trying to think of what he could say or do. He knew there was no way he could live without Matt in his life, he had to stop him. He ran to him again, nearly babbling in his desperate try to make Matt realize how sorry he really was.

"I know, you 're right, sorry's not enough for what I just did, but what else do you want me to do? Just tell me, I'll do it! Jesus Christ I'm so fucking sorry, I love you Matt! You were right about everything, about Near, I…just…" he stopped talking, putting both hands in his hair in despair, as he began to cry, "Please, Matt I know I've been a prick, I'm screwed up, I know I am, and you're all I have, please stay with me Matt, don't go!" he cried, falling to his knees, not knowing what else to say or do.

Matt stopped and turned at the sound of Mello's anguished cries. The anger drained from him as he watched Mello fall apart in front of him; he'd never seen him this way before and it completely washed away any anger he felt. He always knew that a good deal of Mello's bravado was just that, bravado; but to see him so completely stripped of everything except the emotion he was feeling was almost more than he could handle. He shook his head and sighed, he knew that no matter what, he loved Mello, and nothing he did would ever change that. He flicked his cigarette to the ground, stepped on it, and then walked back over to where Mello was kneeling. He kneeled in front of the sobbing blonde, then took Mello's hands out of his hair, held them and sighed.

"OK, I won't go anywhere, Mello," he said, "Where the hell else would I go anyway," he moved closer to him, "All my shit's in your room." Mello's eyes moved slowly from the ground up to Matt's face. The red head tried to smile but winced when the sore part of his mouth moved. Mello reached out and gently wiped away the now dried blood.

"I'm so sorry…" he said again and Matt nodded reaching up and moving blonde hair from in front of Mello's tear filled eyes.

"Yea, I know," he said and then flashed the best evil grin he could manage, "And you're gonna really be sorry when you realize that because you busted my lip, no blow jobs for at least a week." Mello pulled away and stared at him in surprise before breaking into laughter. Only Matt could turn what he thought was the end of his world into a dirty joke. He leaned forward and started to kiss Matt, who pulled away quickly.

"Or that either," he said and Mello groaned.

"When I fuck up, I really fuck up," he said and Matt nodded as they both stood up.

"Yea you do, but you did say that I was right about everything so that's several points in your favor," he said and was nearly knocked over when he was captured in a bone-crushing hug.

"I love you Matt, I'm so sorry…" Mello told him again. Matt reached around and hugged him back.

"I know you do Mels, and I love you too; otherwise I would have kept walking. Come on, it's gonna be time to go see Wammy soon, let's get our shit together." He felt Mello nod against him and finally pull away. He reached down, took Mello's hand and walked back towards the house.

"Get away from me!" BB hissed as A tried to wipe away the blood from his face as he sat next to him on the bed.

"Come on, let me clean that up," he insisted and continued to wipe in spite of his squirming partner.

"I'll kill him next time," BB fumed and A smirked.

"No you won't, he's still your brother," he said and then nearly stopped breathing when reddened eyes turned to stare at him.

"That means nothing to me," BB told him, "All I need is an excuse and I'm breaking his neck."

"BB you wouldn't do that! Besides, he had every right to be angry with us now that I think about it. We could have really screwed up his relationship with Light. Imagine if someone was screwing around with us…" BB reached out and grabbed A, pulling him against him.

"Then I'd kill them, it's that simple," he said and kissed A roughly making A moan into the kiss.

"I wish you'd stop saying that," A said when he was released, "You're beginning to scare me." BB sighed and gently touched A's face with his fingers making A smile and lean against BB's hand. No one ever saw the side of BB that A saw, B wouldn't allow it. He and Matt had even talked once about how they saw the sides of BB and Mello that no one else would ever see, the softer side of them that was theirs alone. He ignored the dark side that came out once in a while, knowing that eventually it would pass.

"I don't want to scare you," BB said, "But if anyone ever came between us, I swear to you I would kill them."

"I guess I should feel honored," A said with a grin, "But then it really makes me understand how upset Lawliet was. Maybe we should apologize…" BB snorted and stood up.

"Fuck that," he said going over to the mirror on the dresser and looking at the damage, "Mr. Perfect deserves to sweat out something once in a while, everything always comes easy to him, he always gets what he wants; he'll live." A sighed, knowing there was no arguing with him when it came to his relationship with his brother.

"It's almost time to go see Wammy, and we haven't had dinner yet," he suggested and BB nodded.

"Yea, okay. Take your pill before we go," he added turning to watch. A nodded, reached for the bottle and dropped a pill in his hand. BB watched as he popped it into his mouth, then turned to go to the door, thus not seeing A spit it back out into his hand, dropping it into the garbage as he followed BB out.

"It's too bad all you eat is sweets and fruit," Light was saying as he made his way back into their room, juggling the food tray, " The Yorkshire Pudding looks really good…" he stopped as he kicked the door shut behind him and placed the tray on the desk. Lawliet sat up from the bed quickly, wiping his face with his arm so Light wouldn't see he'd been crying. He stood up and walked over to the desk, looking at the tray and smiling as he saw that the dessert today had been strawberry shortcake and Light had picked up two. As he knew Light was not big on sweets, he knew they would both be for him.

"I knew this was your favorite, and considering the day's events, exactly what you needed," Light told him as he handed him the dish and a fork, "I had them put extra whipped cream on it, they knew exactly who it was for…are you okay?" Lawliet smiled as he took the dish from Light.

"I am fine, why do you ask?" Light frowned and shook his head, taking the dish back from him.

"You've been crying, what's the matter, are you in pain? Tell me or you're not getting this back!"

"What? No, I'm fine and I haven't been crying, Light give it back…"

"Lawliet stop lying to me. You have the largest eyes I have ever seen and you think you can hide the fact that you've been crying? It would be funny if I wasn't concerned."

"Light…I…" Lawliet stammered and then just gave up and sat down, "It's not something I can easily talk about." Light handed him the shortcake and sat down next to him.

"Is it something I can help you with?" he asked and L shook his head.

"No, this is something I must sort out myself." He answered.

"Okay, but if I can help at all," Light offered then leaned forward and kissed him softly, carefully avoiding the injuries, "Just ask me." Lawliet smiled at him and then nodded, wondering what Light would think if he told him exactly what was bothering him. He watched as Light smiled back and then turned his attention towards his dinner. He'd have to work through his fears, he wouldn't risk losing Light; he just wasn't sure how to do it.

Wammy made sure everything was prepared for the next session, and that Lawliet's station was ready for him as well. He had been perusing several different feeds from around the world, looking for cases that would be of interest to L as he reminded himself to think of him as. The boy was moving quickly on the case he was working on now, he was sure he would have it solved quite soon, and then it would be on to the next one. He was fiercely proud of the young man, he always had been, as if he were his own. He had come to think of him that way; he certainly cared more for the lad than his own parents from what he could see. He had reached out his hand to his twin as well, but BB had rejected his efforts, preferring to stay to himself until he had met A.

Wammy sighed thinking of A. Although he was talented and extremely smart, it appeared he was having difficulty in the actual cognitive thinking required for this line of work. His concentration was definitely off, and he attributed it to his medication, but he had been sure he could work around it. Actually, he was sure he could, he probably wasn't' working as hard as he needed to, he would work on prodding him a bit more.

His thoughts were interrupted as his door opened and Lawliet came in, followed quickly by Light. His eyes widened in surprise as he observed the cuts and bruises on Lawliet's face.

"What has happened?" he asked quickly going to him and studying the injuries.

"BB happened Watari," Light answered, "Apparently he made some remarks to Misa which could have been a problem for us. Lawliet went to see him to…make him realize that wasn't the right thing to do." He grinned at the last bit, looking at Lawliet almost proudly.

"I see," Watari said after appraising Lawliet's face, "And the outcome?" Lawliet shrugged and walked away from Watari and towards his desk.

"Light stopped it, so I imagine you could say it was a draw," he answered then smiled and turned back to face Watari, "But this time I did not simply lie on the floor and try to protect myself."

"While that is admirable L," the older man answered, "You know my feelings and the rules about fighting here..." before he could finish, his door opened again and this time it was Matt and Mello entering. Once again Watari found himself looking at another bruised face and shook his head.

"What situation did you run into?"he asked the redhead who smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Mello and I had a discussion and I got too close to his mouth, you know how it goes off without warning," he answered causing Light to burst into laughter and Lawliet to shake his head in amusement. Watari sighed and looked at the blonde who smiled sheepishly as he sat down.

"I see," Watari said and then was almost afraid to look up when he heard the door open again. This time it was A and BB, with BB looking just as he suspected he would.

"Hi Wam…er..Watari!" A said remembering at the last minute the name they were to use when here, "We're not late are we?"

"No, you are not late," Watari answered and then eyed BB, "I hope you're not hurt too badly," BB snorted and shot a look at Lawliet who stared right back.

"Hardly felt it," he answered, and sat down next to Matt and Mello, A sitting next to him. When the door opened again, Watari braced himself but sighed happily when a completely unmarked Near entered the room. Near closed the door behind him, then looked at his companions, noticing the bruising and cuts and then turned to Watari.

"Did I miss something?" he asked and Watari nodded.

"Yes, and as long as you stay out of a relationship you will continue to miss it which is obviously a good thing for you," he answered, making Near look at all of them again and snicker.

"While I do not know the full details of these altercations, you all know that there are rules, and this type of behavior is not tolerated here, and I expect more from the seven of you. If this happens again, there will be repercussions; you will be removed from the program and possibly removed from Wammy's as well. I do not care what the reasons were, that will not be tolerated and especially between you who are supposedly the cream of the crop here. You will find other ways to settle your differences, you are all more than intelligent enough to do so. Now, L move to your station and I wish to see something new within the hour, the rest of you, continue on the cases you were given and I will be expecting work worthy of your supposed genius also within the hour." All seven scrambled to get their work started; Wammy was an infinitely patient man, but angering him was not something any of them every did more than once.

Several hours later, Watari concluded the session by providing them with snacks and hot chocolate as he went over their work. He walked over to where A and BB were sitting and gently placed a hand on A's shoulder.

"You have done some good work," he began, "But I believe you can do much better and I will need you to do better. There is a certain level which must be maintained, and you are falling short of it. I am confident if you work a little harder you will be able to reach it. If you wish to talk about anything, I will be in my study." Watari smiled down at the young man and then left the room.

"What's your problem?", BB asked him once Watari had walked away, "If you need help why didn't you ask me?" A looked down and shrugged his shoulders.

"I wanted to figure out things on my own, I can't depend on you for everything," he said.

"You know what will happen if you don't keep up with the rest of us, he'll throw you out!" BB reminded him and he nodded furiously.

"I know, I know that BB you don't have to remind me!" he answered, uncharacteristically snapping his answer, "Don't worry I'll catch up." BB stared at him for a moment in surprise and then smiled.

"Yea, I know you will," he answered and then pointed to Lawliet as he reached into his pocket, "In the meantime, watch this." A watched as BB pulled out a small bottle and waved it in front of him.

"BB don't make it worse, he's already mad at you," he begged and all he got in answer was bigger grin. BB walked over to Mello who was sitting with Matt, savoring the hot chocolate.

"Watch this," he whispered, "I'm going to give Mr. Special "L" a present," he said and opened his hand. Mello nearly choked on his hot chocolate.

"What, did they run out?" he asked laughing and BB shook his head.

"They've never used it," he answered, "My brother is still a fucking virgin. I think it's time I helped him fix that." Mello stared at him in surprise; the idea that Light and Lawliet hadn't consummated their relationship had never occurred to him, but there had to be a reason and he didn't think the way BB wanted to handle it was the right thing to do.

"Look, maybe that isn't such a good idea," he warned and only received a giggle in answer. He watched as BB approached Lawliet at his desk. As he walked past Light who was putting papers away, the teen's eyes narrowed as he realized BB was walking towards Lawliet. He stopped what he was doing and began to make his way over as well.

"Hey L, I have something for you," BB was saying as he moved.

"I want nothing from you," Lawliet answered, his eyes never leaving the screen in front of him, "Except for you to leave me alone."

"Come on, I just want to give you something to help you out," BB said and grabbed Lawliet's hand, he dropped the small bottle into the teen's hand and burst into laughter.

Lawliet looked down and read the label, and felt his entire face suddenly warm as he colored in embarrassment. He closed his fist around the bottle and turned to face his brother who had left his side and was now leaving the room, laughing loudly with an unhappy looking A following him.

"You can have your first fuck on me," he cackled as he went out of the door, "Don't say I never gave you anything!"

"What is it?" Light asked as he watched Lawliet's face contort from hurt and embarrassment to pure fury; and then it was completely devoid of all emotion. He reached down to touch Lawliet's shoulder only to have the dark haired teen pull away from him.

"I need to work on this case a little longer," he said without looking at him, "Perhaps you should go back to the room." Light watched as Lawliet's hand continued to clench around whatever he had in his hand.

"No, I don't mind staying while you work, I'm not leaving until I find out what he gave you."

"That is your choice," Lawliet answered a little too coolly for Light's taste. He reached for Lawliet's clenched hand, but it was pulled away.

"Lawliet, let me see what he gave you!" Light demanded but his only answer came in the form of a deep, dark stare that rested on his face for a few seconds and then drifted back to the screen in front of him. In those few seconds Light saw a world of hurt behind those huge eyes that alarmed him, but also steeled his resolve not to leave Lawliet alone. He sighed and walked away from the desk back to the main area of the room where Matt, Mello and Near still sat in surprise.

"I imagine whatever it was his brother gave him was quite hurtful," Near said, fingers twirling softly in his hair. Light nodded and dropped down onto the couch.

"Whatever it was I have to wait to find out," he said and then looked at Mello, "Unless of course someone else knows what it was." He knew he and BB were the best of friends, it wouldn't be impossible that he had told Mello what he was planning. Mello looked at Matt who sighed and then nodded.

"If it were me that was upset like that from something someone else had done, wouldn't you want to know?" he asked and Mello nodded with a sigh.

"As I am not involved in any of this, I'll go back to my room," Near said.

"I'll walk out with you," Matt said, "See you when you're done," he said to Mello and followed Near out of the room. Mello walked over to the couch where Light was sitting and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm not sure how I feel about this, BB has always been my best friend, but this thing between he and Lawliet is getting out of control," he began and Light nodded.

"Yea, I know. They were beating the hell out of each other earlier until I walked in and stopped them," he said, "Now what is it that he could have possibly given Lawliet to make him so upset?'

"Lube," Mello answered, "He gave him a bottle of lube." Mello couldn't help laughing at the incredulous look Light gave him when he heard it.

"Lube? Why the hell would he do that? And why would it upset Lawliet so much?"

"Well, that's getting into your personal business," Mello answered glancing over at Lawliet, "Apparently you haven't had the need for it yet and BB is rubbing Lawliet's nose into it."

"Oh…" Light said, color rising to his own face as he realized what that meant, "I see." Mello saw how uncomfortable he looked and smiled.

"Look, whatever you guys do or don't do is your business, I don't think it's right what BB did that's why I'm telling you what happened. I might feel differently if I hadn't just had my own shit to get through in my relationship earlier today that also involved my getting out of hand about the way I feel about someone. But since I did, I don't want to see you guys go through any more shit than you have to, just because someone else is a little crazy, even if he is my best friend," He got up and went to the door, "Good luck, Light," he said and left the apartment.

Light sighed and fell back against the couch. He looked over at Lawliet and decided they had to straighten this out immediately, now that he knew what the problem was. The case could wait until later, but this couldn't. He walked over and placed both hands on the would-be detective's shoulders.

"Lawliet, I know what BB gave you. We have to talk as to why it upset you so much," he said and immediately felt Lawliet's body stiffen under his hands.

"I do not wish to discuss this here," Lawliet answered him quietly. Light spun the chair around so that they were facing each other.

"Then close up shop and let's go back to our room, because we're going to discuss this now," he told him. Lawliet frowned and shook his head.

"I do not wish…"

"Now, Lawliet!" Light said more forcefully stopping whatever argument Lawliet had begun to offer. Instead he shut down everything, stood up and walked past Light to the door and out of it, shoving the white bottle into his pocket. Light sighed and followed behind him; at least he got him away from the desk.

By the time they made it back to their room, Light had his entire argument ready and so was taken aback when Lawliet turned to him first.

"What is it that you wish to say to me?" he asked, his face completely impassive; but to Light his eyes told the entire story.

"I want to know why BB giving you a bottle of lube upset you so badly." Lawliet looked down for a moment, the color rising to his cheeks again.

"It was a very childish, rude thing to do in front of everyone, especially in front of people who are all working towards reaching my level of expertise. It makes me look ridiculous…"

"That isn't the real reason though is it?", Light asked quietly, "He embarrassed you with his remark about your first fuck being on him. He knows we haven't had sex yet, he embarrassed you with that knowledge didn't he?" Light watched as Lawliet's shields began to crumble down around him.

"I'm sorry, you must be wondering what's wrong with me," he said miserably as tears filled the dark eyes.

"I've never thought anything was wrong with you Lawliet," Light answered softly, "As a matter of fact that was one of the subject I wanted to talk to you about earlier before Misa burst in." Lawliet shuddered at her name and shook his head.

"You wouldn't go to her would you?" he asked and Light stared at him confused.

"Go to Misa? Why the hell would I do that?" Lawliet turned away, thrusting his hands into his pockets

"BB suggested that if I can't give you what you need, you'd turn to her…" Light didn't know if he was going to laugh or be angry. Looking at Lawliet's tortured face he decided neither would be a good idea at the moment.

"Lawliet, I can't believe you even listened to BB about anything concerning us," he said, "I would never go to Misa for sex, I can't think of anything I'd loathe more, except maybe sex with BB." He was heartened by the small smile he saw trying to make it's way onto Lawliet's face, even if it only stayed for a moment.

"But I have wondered why you seemed not to be interested, I was beginning to think it was me." Lawliet shook his head sadly.

"Of course it isn't you Light, you're perfect how could it be you," he said.

"I'm not perfect Lawliet, that's ridiculous. But if I'm not turning you away, then what's wrong?," he leaned down and kissed the young man softly, slowly moving the kiss from soft to demanding, pushing his tongue into the young raven's mouth. Lawliet accepted it quickly, almost desperately, wrapping his arms around Light's neck as Light gathered him into his arms. He melted against Light's body as Light held him tightly, not letting him go until they were both gasping for breath. Light then kissed Lawliet's jawline, moving down to his neck, making the teen moan softly as he worried at one spot before moving back up to his mouth. Lawliet lost himself into the passion until he felt Light's growing hardness against him. Light felt the slight tremor that ran through Lawliet and stopped to look at him and surprised at the fear he suddenly found.

"What's the matter, are you afraid?" he asked and Lawliet slowly nodded.

"I'm sorry, " he whispered.

"Well that explains everything," Light said, "Why are you afraid?" before Lawliet could answer he suddenly stared at him in shock, "Lawliet…you weren't…" he wouldn't have put it past BB to rape his own brother but Lawliet hastily shook his head.

"No, it's nothing like that, I've never been assaulted. It isn't that I don't feel like I want to be with you Light, I do, I really do want to, it's just that I know nothing about it, all I know I've only seen on the internet and it looks brutal and violent and painful…" Light burst into laughter, he couldn't help it.

"God, no wonder you're afraid of it. If all you've ever seen is gay porn on the internet I can't blame you, it's pretty disgusting. Look, do you trust me?" Lawliet stared at him for a moment and then nodded.

"Of course I trust you Light, that isn't the problem."

"And the next question is, do you want to share this with me, because I want to share it with you. It really isn't what you've been looking at, I mean the basics are but…it's more than that. Not that I'm any great expert or anything…"

"I imagined you've had plenty of experience with your looks," Lawliet told him and Light laughed.

"Did you ever see me with anyone here? What do you think, that I've been screwing my way through my summers at home?" he asked and Lawliet finally laughed.

"Well, not so much that but I just imagined you being very popular," he answered.

"It works against me too," he said, "There were girls who are interested and when I'm not interested in them it caused a problem sometimes when my parents wanted to know why I wasn't dating. Sometimes I just dated them to shut my parents up and of course they never really knew about my secret life until recently when my father caught me with a guy I was seeing. Unfortunately, we were holding hands when he saw us leaving my house; that was when the push for Misa starting happening."

"I see," Lawliet answered, slightly dismayed at the thought of Light holding hands with someone else, "Did you really care for him?" Light smiled and shook his head, tightening his hold on Lawliet.

"Not like I care for you, Lawliet and that was done a while ago. If I had known sooner that you were interested in me, I would have never seen him in the first place. But you haven't answered my question, do you really want to do this? I care about you Lawliet, more than I've ever cared about anyone and I really want this with you, but only if you want to, I'm not going to force you." Lawliet reached up and ran his hand through the auburn hair and nodded.

"I trust you and I do want to be with you Light, I'm just…" Light nodded and kissed him softly.

"Okay, we're going to take this really slowly. Come on." He took L's hands and led him over to the bottom bunk that they shared.

"Now, you lie down, and I'm going to lie next to you, and we're going to just spend some time exploring, okay?"

"Exploring?" Lawliet asked as he crawled onto the bed and lay down. Light smiled down at him as he crawled in next to him.

"Yes, exploring," he answered and captured the young man's mouth with his.


	10. Chapter 10

Metamorphosis 10

"Here's what going to happen," Light told Lawliet as he stared up at him, "I'm no expert at this, so all I'm going to do are things that I enjoy, and you tell me if you like it or not, and if there's something you don't like or you don't want to do, all you have to do is tell me, okay?" Lawliet nodded slowly and tried to smile, but Light saw it falter just a bit. He leaned down and kissed him again.

"You look like a lamb being led to slaughter Lawliet," he said laughing, "I promise you there's nothing for you to be afraid of. You tell me stop and we stop."

"But what if you…I don't want to leave you…" Light laughed again and ran his fingers through the unruly black mane.

"Don't worry about me, this is for you. And besides, if it works out the right way, I get to reap the benefits!" he grinned and Lawliet grinned back and nodded.

"Okay," he answered, his thumb rising to his bottom lip as he continued to stare at Light.

Light leaned over and captured L's mouth with his, moving his thumb and taking that hand in his. Light moved his mouth from Lawliet's mouth to his jaw line and down to his neck. Lawliet closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of Light's warm mouth on him; this wasn't the first time they had made out like this, but he had always stopped it before it got too serious. As he felt Light's mouth move further down his body, to his shoulder and then towards his chest, he tried to make himself not tense up and to allow it to happen.

Light felt the change in Lawliet's body as he moved towards his chest. He kissed back up to the young man's mouth then leaned towards his ear.

"Relax, just take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and relax." Lawliet opened his eyes and looked back at Light, finding a warm and understanding smile. He nodded and did as he was told, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Light kissed his mouth again, and once again began the slow decent from his mouth, to his neck and then to his chest. This time Lawliet was more relaxed, enjoying the way Light's mouth felt on him, and when Light gently licked, kissed and sucked on one of his nipples, he surprised himself by the moan that came out of him. His eyes flew open and both hands went to his mouth, color rising to his face and neck. Light laughed, he couldn't help it as he watched Lawliet's reaction to his own moan.

"Lawliet, that's okay, that's exactly what I want to hear," he said moving the young man's hands from his mouth, "Don't feel self conscious, just let it happen."

"But I...it just came out…I had no control over it, what if I do it again?"

"I don't care if you bark, as long it means you're enjoying it!" Light told him and this time it was Lawliet's turn to laugh. Light took advantage of that moment to capture his nipple again, turning his laugh into a gasp of surprise that soon turned into another moan. Lawliet closed his eyes again and concentrated on the warmth of Light's mouth, and the sensations that were going through him like electricity. Lawliet's hands clenched and unclenched as Light's mouth moved to his other nipple, and his hands moved to the front of young raven's boxers, feeling the wanted reaction underneath.

"It seems you ARE enjoying this so far," Light said as he looked up into the pale face that was beginning to color again as he softly rubbed against him. Lawliet managed a smile and felt his body move against Light's hand, his eyes closing and a soft moan leaving his mouth. Light leaned up and kissed him deeply as he continued to stroke him through his boxers. He was pleasantly surprised to feel Lawliet's arm encircle him, his hands going into his hair for a moment and then sliding back down his back, holding him tightly, returning his kiss with as much fervor as he was giving him.

He took that moment to take it another step, moving his hand from the front of Lawliet's boxers to the waistband, and began to pull them down slowly. He felt Lawliet stiffen slightly as he did, removing his mouth from his.

"Light…I don't know…"

"Shh, it's okay, Lawliet if you don't want me to, but I promise you'll enjoy it." Lawliet thought a moment and then answered by kissing him, trying to hide the mixture of embarrassment and want that he felt. Light kissed him back and continued removing the boxers, pulling them down completely and tossing them aside. He then took Lawliet in his hand; slowly stroking him, as he began to rain kisses on his neck and shoulder. If Lawliet thought the stroking through his boxers was amazing, the feel of Light's hand on him without any barrier was about to drive him insane. He closed his eyes, his breathing now coming faster, his hips suddenly having a mind of their own as they moved against Light's hand, wanting more.

Light thought about the lube BB had given Lawliet, and maybe it would come in handy after all, but then decided that would probably be too much for him right now. He kissed down Lawliet's body until his mouth was right above his straining erection, and then slowly licked around the head before taking him slowly into his mouth.

The sound that came from Lawliet above him almost made him laugh, it was like a combination of a gurgle and his name, erupting from him all at once. Lawliet stopped breathing when he felt the warmth of Light's mouth engulfing him, and then tried to call Light's name, feeling it getting caught in his throat. At first he was embarrassed by what was happening, and then followed quickly by the white lightening of pure ecstasy he'd never known erupting through his entire body. He pulled himself up slightly, looking down at Light for a moment before he lost all strength in his arms and fell back against the bed, lost in the feelings he'd never experienced before.

Light was surprised at how much he was getting aroused by listening and seeing Lawliet's reactions along with seeing his porcelain skin nearly glistening with a light sheen of sweat made his own erection making his boxers uncomfortable. He reached down and pulled them off, his tongue still dancing around Lawliet.

He heard Lawliet cry his name almost frantically, felt his body tremble beneath him and knew he was close. He slowly pulled away and pulled his body on top of Lawliet's, grinding their erections together, the hot friction making him groan himself. Lawliet's eyes flew open when he felt Light on top of him, and wrapped his arms around him, holding his body tightly against his.

"Light…I can't..I can't…" Lawliet cried, losing control and trying not to.

"Yes, you can, Lawliet it's okay, it's okay," Light assured him and moved faster against him.

Light tackled Lawliet's mouth, his tongue finding it's way into his mouth, Lawliet taking it almost hungrily as he felt himself rushing towards his climax. Light released him, and then moved down his chest, taking a nipple into his mouth and biting down gently. Lawliet nearly screamed his name as that extra sensation made his climax explode from him with such force that he felt dizzy, seeing bright lights behind his eyes and shaking uncontrollably. Light came immediately behind him, holding Lawliet tightly as it shot through his body in waves.

For a few moments they just held each other as their bodies calmed down and their breathing came under control. Light then pulled himself up and looked down at Lawliet; his eyes still closed, his face still colored in passion. He leaned on one arm as he ran fingers through the damp black hair that was even more out of control than normal and kissed his forehead.

"Are you okay?" he asked and was surprised when a smile appeared on Lawliet's face, his eyes opening slowly.

"I'm more okay than I've ever been in my life," he said and laughed, and he reached up and kissed Light gently, "But why didn't you…I mean you could have…" Light smiled at his inability to say what he wanted.

"Because I didn't think you were ready for that yet," he answered and Lawliet frowned and looked away.

"I'm sorry," he said and Light turned his head back to face him.

"Did I sound like I was disappointed?" he asked and Lawliet shook his head and blushed again, "Then shut up and kiss me!" Light told him and leaned down to does just that, when there was a knock on their door.

"Light? Light are you still awake?" Misa's voice was like a bucket of cold water thrown on both of them.

"Fuck!" Light swore as Lawliet slid under the covers with a groan, "What do you want Misa, I'm in bed!" he called.

"Light, I just wanted to talk to you, can I come in?" they heard the doorknob rattle and were once again glad they kept it locked.

"No, I told you I was in bed," Light said trying not to laugh at the faces Lawliet was making beside him, "Why aren't you in bed?"

"I couldn't sleep, and I thought maybe we could go for a walk and talk…Light, please let me in!"

"Perhaps you should just go," Lawliet said, "There'd be no reason why you wouldn't…normally. She is your fiancé' after all." Light shook his head.

"I'm not leaving you, not after this…"

"Light, it's okay. You've got to keep up appearances until January, and after that there'll be nothing in the way. Go on, I'll be here when you get back," he grinned, "Just be glad she didn't show up sooner."

"Light! What's going on?" Light growled running both hands through his hair in anger.

"I'm coming, I have to get dressed!" he yelled and then grabbed Lawliet and kissed him deeply, "I'm so sorry, Lawliet," he said sadly, "This isn't the way I want it."

"I know, but it's okay," Lawliet answered and smiled, "Hurry and go so you can hurry and get back." Light nodded and kissed him again, before rising and grabbing his clothes. Lawliet watched him dress quickly, run back over to him and kiss him again, and then go out of the door. He then got up himself and pulled on his jeans. He walked over to his desk, flipped open his lap top and sat down. He looked up at the closed door and sighed.

"I love you Light," he said then turned on the laptop, his focus now on the case.

"What was so important that you had to come get me out of bed?" Light asked crossly, snatching his hand away as Misa tried to reach for it, "I have a lot of work to do tomorrow, I need to get back to bed soon." They had gone outside of the building and were walking along the grounds towards the play area.

" I'm sorry, but I couldn't sleep and I wanted to see you. We don't see much of each other now because of all your classes and extra stuff. I miss you, Light." He turned to look at her and he suddenly felt sorry for her. She couldn't help the fact she cared for him, even though he had been telling her for ages he wasn't interested and they had no future. Their parents had put it into her head that he was just confused, and that she would have him in the end anyway and so she felt she was safe. He had to make her understand that there was no future for them as a couple. No matter what L thought, it was cruel to make her think they did only to drop it in a matter of months seemingly out of the blue.

"Look Misa, I know I have a lot to do now, but I did warn you that I'd be busy once we got back to school," he began and she nodded.

"I know, but you said a lot of things before we got here," she answered.

"And you never listened," he said, "If you remember I also told you that I didn't love you."

"I know, but your parents said…"

"I know what my parents said, Misa. But they're wrong, I'm not confused, I know exactly what I feel and what I want. Misa I don't want to marry you." She smiled an all-knowing smile.

"Oh, I know that silly," she said, "You haven't realized it yet, you've got so many other things on your mind right now. But we've known each other for such a long time Light, and I've always known I loved you. When we've graduated and gone back home…"

"I'm not going back home Misa," he said hoping that would wake her up.

"What? Why not?" she asked staring at him wide eyed.

"Because…because I've found something I want to do here, I don't want to go back to Japan." He answered.

"But…" she stopped and then nodded, "That doesn't matter. I'll stay here with you then, if that's what you want," she looked away for a moment, "I did want all of our families at our wedding though."

"Misa, there isn't going to be a wedding, why can't you understand that? I don't want to hurt you, but I don't love you!"

"Because I love you Light!" she cried, tears springing suddenly from her eyes and running down her face as she reached for his hand, "I love you and I will do anything to make you love me and I know you will eventually, as long as he…" she looked away suddenly and stopped.

"He?" Light asked and she frowned, disgust suddenly replacing the tears.

"Lawliet," she nearly spat, "As long as Lawliet doesn't confuse you any more than you already are. I know he has feelings for you. He hasn't tried to confuse you has he?" she asked and Light shook his head.

"No, Lawliet hasn't confused me about anything," he answered, "As a matter of fact, he's helped me to see things clearly for the first time in my life." She stared at him, hearing the sudden softness in his voice as he talked about Lawliet, the expression on his face. There was definitely something there, but they had been friends ever since he'd first come to Wammy's, she was sure that was all that was. She knew that Light cared for her, even if he didn't love her yet. She was surprised when he removed his hand from hers and began to walk away.

"I've got to get back to bed Misa," he said, the mention of Lawliet making him want this to end, "I'll walk you back to your room."

"Wait Light," she called making him turn to face her, "You do care about me don't you?" he sighed and nodded.

"Of course I care about you Misa, I've known you almost all of my life, but…" she giggled happily and took his arm.

"That's all I wanted to hear, the rest will happen later," she said and leaned against him. He let her stay that way for a moment and then gently pushed her away.

"Okay Misa, we really have to go now, I'm very tired," he said truthfully, and she nodded, reaching up to his hair.

"Why's your hair so damp?" she asked pulling her hand back.

"I...uh…showered before I went to bed," he said hastily moving away and towards the door. She frowned slightly but then shrugged, following him into the building."

"Well, well, well, look at the happy couple!" Light turned around as he and Misa walked through the halls to see BB and Mello coming out of the cafeteria. Mello bit down on the chocolate bar he held in his hand, and elbowed BB next to him.

"Come on, leave them alone," he said, knowing full well what was going on.

"I'm not going to bother them," BB said, grinning widely, "Do me a favor Light? Tell Lawliet I said I told you so, he'll understand. Oh and since it looks like you're not going to need it, I'll take my present back!" he burst into laughter as Light glared back at him before moving Misa down the hall.

"Stop being such an ass BB," he said, "I love you man, but lately you're getting way out of hand."

"Just having some fun at Mr. Perfect's expense," he said, "No harm done."

"Maybe not, but you are making it really difficult for Light and he hasn't done anything to you," Mello answered as they continued down the hall.

"Maybe," BB shrugged, "Maybe it will make him grow a pair of balls and stop playing games."

"It's not that simple, you know the situation," Mello said, "I feel bad for him, he's caught in the middle."

"He's an idiot, he and Lawliet deserve each other," BB said as he opened the door to his room, "Thanks for going for coffee with me since A wasn't feeling up to it," He added, a trace of worry in his voice, "He's been working really hard to keep up."

"No problem, Matt wanted to work a little on his new project Wammy gave him, and I just get in the way when's he's like that. See you tomorrow, asshole." He said making BB laugh as he walked into his room closing the door behind him.

The first thing BB saw when he walked in was A sprawled on the bed. He walked over to him and kneeled by the bed, telling himself that A was just asleep, and not to be concerned. He ran his hand through the blonde hair, and let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding when A moved against his hand. He stood up and walked over to the table where A kept his pills and picked up the bottle, spilling them out onto the table. He counted them, and then put them back into the bottle. He then removed his clothes, then crawled into the bed beside A, holding him against his chest.

"I love you," he whispered to the sleeping teen in his arms, then leaned against him, and fell asleep.

Light practically ran the length of the building from the girl's dorms back to the boy's side and his room.

"Lawliet!" he called as he opened the door, finding the dark haired teen hunched over his laptop. He shut the door behind him and locked it before walking to where Lawliet now stood waiting for him. He wrapped his arms around the teen's shoulders as Lawliet turned to face him, kissing him deeply.

"I'm so sorry I had to leave," he said when he came up from the kiss, "I didn't want to..."

"I know, it was me that told you to, it had to be done," Lawliet answered and then looked at the computer, "It gave me time to get a few things done, I may have finished this one sooner than I expected."

"I don't care about your case right now," Light told him as he pulled him towards the bed, "I'm exhausted and I need to be in bed with you; we have to pick up where we left off." Lawliet nodded as he allowed himself to be dragged across the room.

They quickly undressed again and were soon lying together underneath the blankets, almost as if they had never been interrupted. Lawliet lay on Light's chest as Light ran his hand through his hair.

"Light…I…" he started and Light looked down at him.

"What?" he asked as Lawliet thought about it again and shook his head. It was one thing to say it when Light was out of the room, but to say it to his face, not knowing if Light felt the same way, was not a good idea.

"I'm glad you're back," he said instead and Light smiled down at him.

"Me too," he agreed kissing the top of Lawliet's head, "I didn't think I was ever getting away from her."

"Did you have a decent conversation at least?" he asked and then laughed at the snorting sound Light made.

"I tried to make her realize that nothing was ever going to happen between us, I really did try Lawliet, I don't want to hurt her. But she just won't listen, she doesn't want to listen and I'm really sorry." He said and Lawliet sat up to look at him.

"You're doing all you can, Light. We only have a few more months and then we can stop the charade with no fear of repercussion from your family. If she gets hurt in the process she only has herself to blame, you've never lied to her." Light sighed and nodded, then reached across to the side table to turn off the lamp. Suddenly, BB's taunt went through Light's mind and he turned the lamp back on and Lawliet sat up in surprise.

"I just have to make sure of one thing," Light said, "You know I don't love Misa…"

"Of course I do," Lawliet answered confused.

"And you know I have no intention of ever going to her for anything, right? No matter what anyone else thinks or says or what it looks like when I'm with her?" Lawliet nodded as he leaned forward to kiss him.

"I know this, Light." Light smiled and nodded and then turned the lamp back off.

"Good-night, Lawliet," he said closing his eyes, holding Lawliet tightly against him.

"Good-night," Lawliet answered and kissed Light's chest before closing his own eyes and drifting off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Metamorphosis 11

Misa sat on the main stairs in the boy's dormitory. She knew that Light finished his special course around 10 p.m. and she wanted to catch him before he went to bed. She had received an email from his father, wanting to know how things were going, and that he was forwarding a package to her that contained an engagement ring he and Mrs. Yagami had picked out for her, knowing that Light was too busy with schoolwork to do it on his own. She was so excited that she simply couldn't wait to tell Light the good news and show him the picture Mr. Yagami had sent of the ring.

She hid herself behind the stairs when she heard the voice of that hateful brother of Lawliet's as he came down the stairs, his blonde friend following closely behind him. Although she was sure she was out of sight, Lawliet's brother suddenly stopped and looked in her direction, a creepy smile on his face. He looked behind him up the stairs and then turned away and continued to head down the hall towards his room. She released a breath and moved out of the shadows as she heard Light's voice, then decided to stay hidden until he got to his room and she would spring out and surprise him.

"I don't know how you solved this Lawliet, there are no clues that I can see," he said and she heard Lawliet chuckle.

"That's only because you haven't looked hard enough, you are brilliant, and if you slow down and look again I'm sure you'll find what I did." Now it was Light's turn to chuckle as they stopped at the door to their room.

"You're just saying that because I sleep with you," he said smiling and Lawliet smiled back.

"Perhaps there is some bias, but that doesn't take away from the fact that you are brilliant," he answered as he unlocked their door.

"And this bias, is it because I also do this?" Light asked as he gathered the dark haired detective to be in his arms.

"Well, I'm sure that helps," Lawliet answered as Light unlocked the door behind him and maneuvered them into the room.

"Well this must really help," Light added and gently kissed Lawliet before shutting the door behind him.

It was everything Misa could do to keep from passing out as she watched them. Her mind told her that she should run over and snatch her Light away from Lawliet, make him realize what Lawliet was doing to him, but she couldn't move.

She couldn't believe what she saw, that Light had actually kissed him like that. She had been right, Lawliet was confusing him and it looked like he was winning. Light never looked at her like that, never kissed her that tenderly. Now she knew why and she knew what she had to do to stop it. She turned and made her way back to her room, anger and hurt fueling each step. The minute she was back in her room she flipped on her laptop, writing a full report of what she saw before sending it on its way.

Instead of the usual alarm that woke them up, it was the sound of someone knocking on their door that did it. Light started awake and sat up in time to see an envelope being slipped under their door. As he got up to get it, Lawliet sat up as well and yawned.

"Was that someone knocking?" he asked and Light nodded as he got up.

"Someone slipped something under the door," he said and retrieved it, "Well it's got both of our names on it." He said as he opened it and then frowned.

"Wammy wants to see both of us before class in his office," he read and they looked at each other, "I wonder what's going on?" Lawliet shook his head.

"I'm sure I don't know, but I do know it has to be serious if he wants to see us now," he answered, "We'd better get over there right away," and Light nodded his agreement and they both hurried to get ready,

Within twenty minutes they were knocking on Wammy's door and being told to come in. The older man sat behind his desk, his fingers woven together in front of him as he watched them come in.

"Please come in and sit down," he said, "I have something very serious to discuss with you."

"Is something wrong, Wammy?" Lawliet asked as he and Light sat down across from him.

"I'm afraid there is," he answered and stood up, "I'm afraid you two have not been discreet and you have been discovered." The two looked at each other in confusion and back at Wammy.

"And unfortunately, the one who saw you shared her discovery with Mr. Yagami," he continued, "Who has now shared his displeasure with me and demands I do something immediately or he will remove Light from the school." Light knew immediately what had happened, he just didn't know how or when it could have happened.

"Misa?! But how could she, when did this happen?" he asked. Wammy picked up a sheet of paper from his desk.

"According to her email she sent to your father, she was waiting to speak with you after our meeting, hiding behind the stairs to surprise you, and she caught you two kissing as you entered your room." Light turned to Lawliet and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, that was my fault…"

"Light, how were you to know that she was hiding in the shadows. We were walking into our room, no one would have suspected she or anyone else would be watching." Lawliet answered reaching for Light's hand.

"But what happens now? What does my father want?" Light asked.

"Well, what he wants is for me to expel Lawliet…"

"NO!" Light jumped to his feet, "You can't do that, it was my fault this happened you can't expel him because I was careless!"

"Light, it's okay. I don't think Wammy is going to expel me," Lawliet said reaching up and taking Light's arm and guiding him back to his seat. Wammy shook his head as he walked over to Light. He smiled at the teen as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I have no intention of expelling Lawliet, don't worry about that," he said, "However, I do have to do something to appease your father."

"What are you going to do?" Light asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"First, I'm going to move Lawliet from your dorm room and move him into the room I was preparing for his future use anyway." Lawliet could feel Light about to protest but he squeezed his hand to stop him.

"You said that was first, what else?" he asked instead.

"Secondly, you are not to be in each other's company without someone else with you, in other words you cannot be alone together. When you leave this office it will be one at a time."

"But Wammy…" Light began and Lawliet pulled on his arm.

"It will be fine, Light. It will only be for the next two months until your birthday, then it won't matter."

"Lawliet I'm so sorry," Light apologized, "This is because of Misa and I'm so sorry."

"You needn't apologize for something she did, Light. This will all be over soon."

"I will have your things moved while you are in class, Lawliet. I will have Near moved into your room Light. In this way all of the group will be rooming with each other and you can work together easier as well," Wammy looked at his watch and moved back to his desk, "It is getting to be time for class to begin. Light, you go first and I will send Lawliet down in a few minutes," he saw how miserable both boys were when they stood up and he sighed, "I have to go to Roger's office for a moment, I'll be right back." He walked out with a smile, closing the door behind him.

"I believe he did that on purpose," Light said and Lawliet nodded.

"I agree, better make good use of this time," he said and Light grinned, bringing the dark haired teen into his arms and kissing him.

"It's not as if we won't see each other, and during our time with Wammy, we won't be under scrutiny," Lawliet reminded him and Light nodded.

"I know, but we were just getting to…we were…"

"It's okay Light, let me think about it a while and maybe I can figure out something," Lawliet soothed and Light nodded again, leaning down to kiss him again just as they heard Wammy coming back in.

"Light, go on or you'll be late. I'll walk Lawliet down myself, that will keep him from getting into trouble for being tardy."

"Okay, and thank you," Light told him with a grateful smile and went out of the office. The moment the door was closed, Lawliet's face lost the smile he had worn for Light's benefit and stood in front of Wammy, his head bowed.

"I apologize for putting you in this position Wammy," he said quietly, "Perhaps it would have better had I not acted on my feelings, it has only caused problems," and the older man sighed.

"You don't mean that, Lawliet. I believe this is good for both of you. Would you like to see Light stuck in a loveless marriage, miserable for the rest of his life? Without you that's exactly where his future was heading. I'm sorry I have to separate you two Lawliet, I had no choice, but it is only a few weeks out of the rest of your life," Wammy told him and the teen nodded.

"I know, you did what you had to do," he answered finally, "I can't imagine Light living his life so miserably so perhaps our relationship isn't a mistake. It's just that I'm afraid he will succumb to all of this pressure. We were just beginning to really work on our relationship and now…" Wammy reached out and placed both hands on Lawliet's shoulders.

"I wouldn't worry about that, it is obvious that he cares for you Lawliet, and this action of Ms. Amane's has driven a larger wedge between them than was there before. You two will survive the next few weeks without a problem. Now, let me get you to your class." Lawliet nodded and followed Wammy out of the door.

"So, have you seen how miserable Light and Lawliet look today?" BB said almost gleefully as he joined his friends at their table for lunch. Mello nodded as he sipped his drink.

"Yea I did notice, Light hasn't said two words to anyone and they're not going near each other. You think they had a fight?" BB shook his head.

"I think I know what happened; I saw little Misa hiding behind the stairs last night when we coming back from our meeting…they didn't!" Mello and Matt looked at each other and then back at BB.

" she spying on them?" Matt asked.

"Obviously, and I guess she must have seen something and started trouble," BB answered and Mello sighed.

"That sucks, that's just what they were afraid of," he looked at BB's smug grin and shook his head, "Stop being happy they're miserable, asshole."

"I can't help it" BB said laughing, "It's about time something didn't go Lawliet's way for a change." He looked over at A who was shaking his head, "What is your problem?" he asked and A sighed.

"I just feel sorry for them, that's all," he said and Mello agreed then took a second look at A. He looked as if he hadn't slept well and was picking at his food.

"Hey, you don't look like you're getting enough sleep, is this guy not letting you get any?" he asked pointing at BB. A grinned but shook his head.

"No, it isn't his fault. I'm just…having a little trouble with the work load. But I'll catch up," he looked at his watch and began to stand up, "As a matter of fact I'm going to do a little extra studying while I have time right now. I'll see you guys later," he added and began to walk away when BB grabbed his arm.

"I can help you…" A pulled his arm back and shook his head.

"No, I've already told you I have to do this on my own; I'll get it done," he answered crossly and walked away.

"He doesn't sound like himself," Matt observed, "Maybe all this is too much for him."

"He'll be alright," BB said staring after him, "He's just not used to this much work."

"Maybe he should think about giving up the program," Mello suggested, "I'm sure Watari could figure out something else he could do so you two could stay together and we both know A's kinda fragile…" BB frowned and shook his head.

"He will be fine, he's been taking his meds, and he's just stressed. I'm keeping an eye on him; he just wants to do this on his own, he'll be fine." He answered, but it sounded more to Mello that he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

"I can try to help him without letting him know," Matt offered, "I'll see what I can do when we get to our meeting later tonight. He might accept it more from me than you anyway; he's obviously trying to prove himself to you." BB sighed and nodded.

"Yes, he is," he smiled at the red head, "Thanks Matt, that might work. I think I'll go and check and double-check his meds, in case he forgot to take them since he's been so stressed.

"No problem," Matt answered and waited until BB had left the table before turning to Mello.

"How can he be so hard on Light and Lawliet's relationship when he's so wrapped up in his?" he asked and Mello shrugged.

"It's because of his volatile relationship with Lawliet, he just doesn't want to see him happy I guess."

"Speaking of," Matt said gesturing towards the front of the room, "Look at the happy couple." Mello looked up to see Misa and Light entering the lunchroom, Misa's arm trying to link into Light's as he kept pulling his arm out of the way. Mello snorted laughter as he watched them go through the line for food and finally finding a table; noting how she kept talking and Light seemed to be completely ignoring her.

"Don't you want to get closer and hear what she's saying?" Matt asked and Mello shook his head.

"God no, from the look on his face it looks painful enough from here!" they both laughed and then quieted when they saw Lawliet finally enter the cafeteria. They were both surprised at how he seemed to be better now than when they had first seen him this morning. But Mello knew he was the master of hiding his emotions and he seemed to be perfectly well as he placed his favorite deserts on his tray; until he heard the shrill laughter of Misa. She had looked up and seen him coming and had immediately wrapped her arms around Light with a triumphant grin before planting a kiss on Light's mouth. Light pulled out of her grip when he saw Lawliet staring at them; trying to tell the teen how sorry he was with his eyes. Lawliet managed to keep his expression passive, then turned away before he lost control of it. As he turned away he saw Mello and Matt waving at him from across the room. He couldn't decide at first whether he just wanted to turn and run out of there away from Misa's "triumph" or continue to behave as if he didn't care by going over and joining Matt and Mello. He decided he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing she had hurt him by leaving and walked over to his friends.

"This has got to truly suck," Matt said as he sat down, "I'm really sorry."

"Listen, I'm sure I can find someone to set her on fire if you want," Mello suggested which made Lawliet laugh.

"As attractive as that sounds, that is a bit extreme for the situation," he answered, "I can endure this for the short amount of time before Light's birthday."

"What if his father decides to stop paying for his schooling?" Matt asked and Lawliet nodded as he took a bite of apple pie.

"Wammy's got that taken care of, he won't need his father's money," he answered with a grin.

"Then you guys will be all set in a couple of months," Mello said, "Something to look forward to, along with watching her ass leave."

"Indeed," Lawliet answered and then looked around hoping to change the subject, "Where are BB and A?"

"They were here earlier but A left to study more and BB left behind him a few minutes later. A looks like shit…" Mello answered and Lawliet nodded.

"I've noticed his deterioration. I don't believe this is a good sign, I am thinking we should release him from the program before something terrible happens."

"You can't do that, he's afraid he'll have to be separated from BB and you know he can't deal with that." Matt reminded him.

"I understand, and I'm sure Watari will as well," Lawliet said using Wammy's alias as they were now talking about the program, "I am certain he can find some way to work around it so they won't be separated. But he can't continue in this way, he can't keep up with the work load and he is getting worse."

"Can't argue with you there, but if you do, it's gotta be done really carefully. He's teetering on the edge right now and he just needs a nudge to go over it. I don't understand though, he should be okay as long as he takes his meds." Matt offered and Lawliet stopped chewing long enough to think.

"Something tells me he's not taking it any longer, or at least has cut it down substantially. I know he complained about them clouding his mind, so he probably thought he could handle it better without them."

"That would explain why he looks so bad," Mello said and then ran a hand through his hair, "Someone needs to make BB realize this and as I'm his best friend, I guess the job is mine."

"It would have to be, he certainly won't listen to me," Lawliet said finishing his last desert. He cringed suddenly when Misa's laughter echoed through the room, "If you would excuse me…" he said standing up while both of his friends broke into laughter.

"I don't blame you, get the hell out," Mello said and Lawliet nodded as he went towards the door.

"Tonight's going to be a blast," Matt said laughing, making Mello punch his shoulder.

"Stop being a jerk," he said, "Let's get outta here before something else blows the fuck up." Matt agreed and stood up with him and headed out of the cafeteria.


	12. Chapter 12

Metamorphosis – 12

After classes, Lawliet looked over the apartment that was meant to be his when he graduated and that now he was being forced into sooner. If it weren't for the circumstances he would be really happy about it. It consisted of a large living room, a kitchenette, a bedroom and a huge working space that was still awaiting its equipment. So far it was a huge desk, and chair, and areas that obviously were meant to hold several different screens, as well as his computer. He smiled as he looked around and noticed various dishes of candies all around, and even in the bedroom that Wammy had obviously placed there for him. For the first time in his life he knew what he was going to do with the rest of his life and where he would be. He smiled as he gazed into the bedroom; and he also knew now he wouldn't be alone, at least he hoped. Light had never said he loved him, although he knew for sure that he loved Light. Their relationship hadn't been going on for very long officially, but he already knew as his feelings for Light had started long before this. Light probably needed more time; so many things were going on in his life, and now this situation with Misa. He sighed and looked around the bedroom again, imagining he and Light together on the large bed and it triggered a thought.

He ran from the apartment and back to the boy's dorms, moving quickly to his old room. He found Near carrying a box of his most precious toys into his new room.

"Hey Lawliet", the white haired genius greeted him, "I'm really sorry about this." Lawliet smiled as he followed him into the room.

"Thanks, but it's going to be okay. I left something in the drawer, I'll only be a minute," he said and Near nodded as he left him to his task. Lawliet looked around, the movers were quick and thorough, there wasn't one trace that he had ever been there. But he knew there was one thing they hadn't touched, something that he needed to keep Light. He went to the desk and opened the top drawer, reaching far into the back until his fingers found it. He looked at Near for a moment but the teen was busy setting up an area for his toys and was paying him no attention. Lawliet pulled the bottle from the back of the drawer and hastily shoved it into his pocket, closing the drawer. Near looked up at the sound.

"Did you find it okay?" he asked and Lawliet nodded.

"Yes, I found it, thanks. I'll see you later," he answered and left, his heart pounding in his chest as his mind went over exactly what it was he was planning to do. It would be the best way to cement his relationship with Light, the one thing he knew he had over Misa and it wasn't that he didn't want to, he loved Light, but he couldn't help being a little afraid. He shoved the little bottle deeper into his pocket to make sure it didn't fall out and made his way back to his new living quarters.

A slowly made his way from the library back to his room. His head was swimming from everything he was trying to force through it and retain. He was exhausted mentally and emotionally, trying not to show how he was really feeling. By halving his medication he could think a little clearer, but he was beginning to feel badly. He was tired but not able to sleep properly, and after almost a month it was really beginning to wear him down. Trying to keep BB from knowing what he was doing was the hardest because BB knew him so well, and was constantly checking his medication to make sure the right amount was gone. He had hoped that he'd get used to taking half of his usual dosage, and that it wouldn't make such a difference, but that hadn't happened yet. All that was happening was he was tired, and beginning to feel that it was a useless situation anyway. But he couldn't let BB down, he had to get through this.

He opened the door to his room to find BB lying on his bed doing homework. He put a smile on his face as he closed the door behind him.

"Hey," he said as he crossed the room to where BB was.

"You finally remembered where your room is," BB said with a smile and stood up to meet A halfway, "I was beginning to wonder." He took the blonde into his arms and kissed him, then ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take so long I'm just trying to make sure I keep up," A answered and BB nodded.

"I know, but look, if this is really too difficult on you, we don't have to do this. Wammy's got his golden boy, there are others that can take over for him if necessary and I don't think it really matters if we're in on it or not." A shook his head almost violently.

"No, because you're enjoying it, don't deny it," he said, "And if I don't keep up I won't be able to stay with you and I need to stay with you."

"A…I might be getting a kick out of this little project, but it isn't all that important to me. We already had plans for what we were gonna do after we graduate. My Dad…"

"Doesn't really give a shit about either one of us," A snapped as he pulled out of a surprised BB's grasp, "You know it and I know it. He agreed to let me come live with you so he could do whatever he wanted to without the guilt of leaving his son behind alone, which I'm sure he barely feels anyway. I don't want to just live off of you B, I want to do something you can be proud of me for. I want you to be proud of me, I want to feel like I'm worth something." BB stared at A as if he'd never seen him before.

"I've never heard you say anything like that before, about my dad…"

"I'm sorry, it just came out. I'm just tired, B…" A apologized turning away.

"Don't apologize, it's the truth, you've just never said it before," BB said with a laugh, pulling him back "And that bullshit about me being proud of you, A you don't have to prove anything to me, I love you." BB then watched in surprise as A pulled away from him again, his hands going into his blonde hair and a sound almost like a wail of grief coming from him, then his arms flying from his hair and flailing in front of him.

"Why? Why do you love me? I'm damaged, I'm not as smart as you, and now I can't even keep up with you and everyone else in the program! There's nothing to love, BB. My own parents didn't even think so, you know they left me with some stupid aunt while they went off and lived their lives as if I didn't even exist and SHE couldn't wait to send me away to this school so what is it you think you love BB? I'm trying to give you a reason!" BB grabbed A's flailing arms and held them tight, forcing the distraught teen to stop flailing.

"Stop it A, STOP IT!" he yelled until A stopped and stared up at him, heaving such deep sobs causing him to gasp for breath, "I love you just because I love you. I can't tell you why, I just do. I don't need a reason, you don't have to do anything special to give me a reason, I just do! Just because everyone else was stupid…" He hugged the boy against him tightly; dismayed at the trembling he could feel as he did. After a few moments he felt A gain control and pull away from him finally to look up at him sheepishly.

"I'm sorry BB, I don't know what happened…" he apologized.

"You're over tired and over stressed over a stupid course," BB answered, "Why don't you lie down and I'll go get us something to eat, okay?" A nodded, walked over to the bed to lie down and then smiled slowly.

"BB…you really think I'm worth something?" he asked and BB rolled his eyes.

"Yea, you're worth an ass kicking if you ever start this shit again," he told him, making the blonde laugh and fall back against the bed. He smiled at BB, maybe it would be okay, BB loved him already, it would be okay. BB smiled back at him and then went out of the door, closing it softly behind him. Once outside the door he leaned against it and ran a hand through his hair, breathing deeply. This was bad; he hadn't seen A behave like that in over a year. His eyes narrowed and glowed slightly as he thought why A could be behaving like this and there was only one reason: Wammy and his stupid plans for Lawliet. He had plans for his future with A before this came up, and they were perfectly happy with it. Now A was so worried he wasn't going to make it he was driving himself crazy. Well fuck Wammy and his special Lawliet, they didn't need their little exclusive club anyway. He and A would be fine on their own and they could probably give Lawliet and Light a run for their money if they decided to go into criminal investigations too. He smiled at that idea, competing against the almighty "L" to finish a case before he did. Yes, that was much more appealing than being one of his little butt buddies waiting for him to drop a crumb for them to grab. He would tell them all tonight what they could do with their little exclusive club. He looked back at the door…no, he'd let A find out at the meeting too, let him realize that he meant more to him than their little kiss L's ass club. He nodded to himself and then headed towards the cafeteria.

"So, how does your new living quarters suit you?" Watari asked Lawliet as he directed the movers as to where they should place items.

"Actually Wammy I think this is going to be most effective," the teen answered as he looked around, "It is much more private, no one knows where it is, and it makes me feel as if I'm an adult now, with a future." Wammy smiled and nodded.

"Yes, you are an adult and you definitely have a future," he held out two folders, "Inquiries about L," he said, "Requests for his help based on the two cases you closed so far. Believe me, it will only continue to grow, your future is assured." He handed them to Lawliet who sat down at his desk and began to look them over.

"You look them over, let me know which ones you find interesting and I will do the rest," Wammy told him and Lawliet nodded.

"I will do so, thank you…Watari," Lawliet said with a smile and Wammy bowed.

"Quite welcome…L," he answered, and went to the door, "Oh, I almost forgot, you have a visitor." He said and opened the door, stepping out of the way just in time as Light ran in. He watched Light run to where Lawliet was sitting and then quietly stepped out of the room.

"Light!" Lawliet jumped up from his desk and met Light halfway, as he crossed the room. Light took him into his arms and kissed him, softly at first, and then it became more aggressive, his tongue forcing his way into the teen's mouth as he brought a hand to the back of Lawliet's head, holding him in place.

It had been a long day of being in the same classes and having to ignore each other as Misa always managed to be there at the end of class to walk Light to his next one. They feared she had friends watching during class to report to her if they dared to interact at all, and so they kept apart, trying not to even look at each other.

When Light finally released him Light pressed his forehead against Lawliet's as he continued to run his hand through the unruly raven hair.

"I can't tell you how much I've been looking forward to this," he said and Lawliet smiled at him.

"I can imagine because I felt he same way," he said, "This was easier when I didn't think I could have a relationship with you, but now that we have one, having to stay away from you…" Light nodded and kissed him again.

"I know, and I'm so fucking sorry," he pulled the budding detective against him, "I didn't even realize how much…what I really feel...until I couldn't even talk to you." Lawliet nodded and pulled away from him.

"But here we don't have to worry," he turned Light to look at the apartment fully, "How do you like my new place?" Light finally looked around the apartment as Lawliet took his hand and gave him a tour.

"This is really nice Lawliet," he said walking through, "I can't believe you already have it furnished and everything."

"Wammy did it all, and even though I'm not happy about how this happened, I'm actually glad I'm here now," he turned and looked at Light, "I was hoping you liked it because I hope you would want to stay here too…after we graduate," he felt his face color and he looked down at his bare feet, "I mean, would you want to live here with me?" Light laughed and lifted L's chin with his fingertips.

"Where else would I live, Lawliet?" he asked and Lawliet shrugged.

"I didn't wish to assume," he answered, "We haven't been together for very long."

"It doesn't matter, we're together now. Thank God because otherwise I'd be going back to Japan after graduation."

"And you would have married Misa to make your parents happy, and you would have been miserable." It was Light's turn to shrug as he thought about it.

"Probably, as I had no other options. I'd also be trying to convince you to move to Japan; if I had to live with Misa I'd need a really good friend around." Lawliet sighed and carded through Light's hair with his fingers.

"I think I like this scenario better," he said and leaned forward to kiss him again, when there was a knock.

"Lawliet, we're starting," Wammy's voice came through the door.

"Time to go," Lawliet said then leaned forward again to finish the kiss.

"Immediately please." Wammy's voice came through again making them both laugh.

"How did he know?" Light asked as they headed for the door.

"I've stopped asking," Lawliet answered as he opened the door to find a smiling Wammy.

"I trust all is well?" he asked turning to walk down the hall.

"Yes, everything is fine, Wammy," Light answered taking Lawliet's hand and following the older man down the hall.

"Well, well, well if isn't the Prom King and Queen," BB said as he watched Light and Lawliet walk into the room, making A giggle.

"Why do you always have to be an asshole?" Mello said laughing .

"It suits them," BB answered and then sighed, "The only problem is deciding which is which."

"Depends on who's on top!" Matt added and they all laughed.

"You guys are a riot," Light said sitting down next to them, "Glad we can keep you entertained."

"How do you get away from Misa to come here alone?" Mello asked him and laughed when Light rolled his eyes.

"By telling her she's not allowed and she'll get kicked out if she tries," he answered.

"That would leave you alone to face the perverted Lawliet, no wonder she's staying away!" Matt said laughing and Light sighed sitting back in his chair.

"You can laugh, you have no idea what a pain in the ass she is," he complained.

"Oh yea, we've heard her in the cafeteria, we can guess," Mello said.

"Gentlemen, if you are ready to begin," Wammy began and they all turned their attention to him, "Near, I wish you to discuss your findings on your case with L. You came to the same conclusions but you came at it in a different way that I think L would find interesting." The white haired genius nodded, picked up his laptop and joined L at his desk.

"Now, I wish to…yes, BB?" Watari stopped when he noticed Lawliet's brother had raised his hand.

"Watari, before you get started, I have an announcement." He said standing up and smiling at a confused A.

"I see. Please proceed then," Watari told him.

"As much as I've enjoyed this little project," BB began, "I think A and I would be happier if we just continued on with out original plans after graduation." A's eyes widened in surprise as he stared at BB.

"BB…what are you talking about?" he whispered and BB smiled at him then turned back to Watari.

"I think you have more than enough people to sit in for Mr. L if the need arises, so before we go any farther we're going to bow out." Lawliet stopped reading Near's work and stared at his twin in complete surprise. He stood up and walked towards him.

"Why are you doing this BB?" he asked, "You know what this will mean if you back out now." BB snorted laughter.

"Oh, what that I can't hang with you anymore after graduation? Somehow I don't think that's going to be a big loss for either one of us, especially considering we don't see each other except once or twice a year anyway," he looked over at Mello who was also staring at him in surprise, "Look, I'm sure there's a way we can keep in touch after graduation Mello, don't worry about that."

"Yea, but I don't understand…" Mello began and Matt turned to him and gestured towards A who was still staring at BB in disbelief, and then he understood.

"So, before you go any further, I think A and I will be on our way," BB finished and stood up, turning to A who also stood.

"BB don't do this because I'm having some trouble…" he began and BB smiled at him.

"It's not just that A, so don't blame yourself," he turned back to face Lawliet, "This is L's little party and I just don't feel like I want to be his back up anymore." Lawliet stared back at him for a moment and then turned back to his computer and Near.

"It's your decision B." he said quietly and BB nodded.

"Yes, it is," he looked back at Watari, "Sorry Watari if we wasted your time." Watari shook his head and walked to them, placing a hand on BB's shoulder.

"I had told you before that once you made the decision to join us, you couldn't walk away, but under the circumstances I think this might be the best decision for you both. And, I know I can trust the both of you to remain silent on what you know. Perhaps in the future we can call on you to be possible contacts to help on a case, as you both have considerable talents. I am sorry to see you go." BB stared at Watari and for a few moments he wondered if he was doing the right thing after all. But he knew now that A would never get through this program and nothing was more important to him than A's well being. He nodded and offered the older man a smile.

"Yea, maybe we can do that. See you guys later," he said to Mello and Matt, then turned and left Watari's apartment with A close behind.

"Why did you do that, BB? And you didn't even tell me you were going to do it!" A asked as they walked back to their room.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to get upset about it," BB said, "This is the best thing for both of us, A and if you think about it, you know I'm right."

"But you liked it BB, you were enjoying figuring things out, you can't tell me you weren't!" A said and flinched when BB stopped walking and turned on him, his eyes practically glowing in anger.

"Look A, we're out and that's the end of it! You're more important to me than figuring out Wammy's cases. Now come on, I'm tired, let's go to bed," he said and opened the door to their room. A sighed, then nodded and followed him in.


	13. Chapter 13

Metamorphosis 13

It was quiet in the room immediately after A and BB left as everyone digested what had just happened, and it was Watari who finally broke the silence.

"Because of the circumstances of this situation, I will rescind my earlier rules about leaving this program. I know it would be impossible for some of you to not have contact with A and BB, so all I ask is that you do not discuss anything that goes on in this room. Is that agreeable? I know I can trust them to not divulge any they have learned, especially the identity of L and the rest of you." They all nodded, Mello heaving a sigh of relief as he had worried how it could affect his relationship with BB.

"Good," Watari said with a nod, "Let us continue with where we left off last evening. Why do you think the Zodiac killer was never captured?"

Light walked over to where Lawliet sat, as he noticed he was simply staring at the screen in front him, not moving, seemingly not hearing anything that was going on since BB walked out of the room. He gently placed a hand on the teen's shoulder and wasn't surprised when Lawliet flinched.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked, "I know you guys don't always get along, but he's still your brother."

"Yes, but it's biological and not emotional," he answered without turning around, "You should join the others before Watari gets annoyed, and I must work." Light watched him for a moment as he began to work, then turned to join the others. There would be time after the class and he'd be able to really talk to him; once he dumped Misa that is.

Matt watched as Mello gathered his things and began to stand up once the class was over. He had been uncharacteristically quiet during the session, and even though he knew why, he was concerned. BB meant a lot to Mello, and so did A and he knew he was really worried about what would happen next for them; how A would take what BB had done.

"Hey," he said standing up with him, "I know what's on your mind, but I think BB did the right thing." He said and Mello gave him a sad smile.

"Maybe, but we both know BB was getting a jolt out of being here, if only because he could harass Lawliet. But A…you know what he thought about this, as if it was his chance to prove himself." Matt nodded as they walked out of the door.

"I know, but there'll be other things they can get involved in, and A doesn't have to prove anything to BB, he must know that. Maybe now the pressures off, he'll go back to taking his meds like he should, because you know that's what was happening.

"Yea, that was pretty obvious," he answered and then smiled genuinely, "You're probably right. This is probably the best move BB could have made, and I'm sure Watari will find something for him to do so he can keep his hands in. Maybe even something milder for A so he won't feel left out. I can't help being worried about it, though." Matt reached over and squeezed Mello's hand.

"I know, and from what you've told me about how A was before, you have every right to be worried. But he doesn't seem to be that bad right now Mello, and now that he's out of there, he can only get better." This time the smile Mello gave him was more genuine, and he squeezed Matt's hand back.

"Yea you're probably right," he answered then looked behind him as he heard the door open behind them smiled when Light and Lawliet walked out, "How much you want to bet that present BB gave him is gonna get used tonight?" he asked and Matt broke into laughter.

"He's gotta get away from the dragon lady first," he said as they began to walk away, "You know she's gonna be waiting for him when he gets downstairs."

"Oh yea, I'm sure she will be. But when there's the possibility of getting his rocks off, he'll figure out something," Mello said laughing, then pulled Matt against him, "Speaking of getting rocks off…" Matt grinned seductively.

"How could I turn down such a romantic proposal?" he said, "But you have to work for it, bitch!" he said and took off running down the hall, with a laughing Mello close behind.

"Those two were made for each other!" Light said with a smirk as he watched them run down the hall.

"It does seem that way," Lawliet agreed then looked down at his feet, "I imagine you'll be going to meet Misa now." Light sighed, lifting Lawliet's chin with his fingers so they were eye to eye.

"I don't want to meet Misa, but she's probably waiting for me to make sure you're not with me."

"I was rather hoping you could stay here with me," Lawliet said, his large eyes shining with hope.

"I want to Lawliet, I really do but knowing she's waiting…" Light began and then stopped when he saw the look of disappointment on Lawliet's face. He had to think of something..

"Here's what I'll do, I'll go down, meet with her, listen to her whine for a while and then walk her back to her room. Then I'll just wait a little bit in case she comes back for something and then I'll come back here."

"I can cover for you Light, if it becomes necessary," a soft voice added to the conversation and they both turned to see Near closing the door to Wammy's apartment.

"I didn't mean to overhear, but since I did I thought I could offer some assistance," he added with a grin.

"That would be brilliant Near, thank you," Light said gratefully and leaned forward to give Lawliet a quick kiss, "I'll be back, don't fall asleep on me!" he said with a grin and then turned to Near, "Let's go, the quicker I get rid of her the quicker I can get back here." Lawliet watched them both head down the hallway before something crossed his mind.

"Light…bring a change of clothing for tomorrow. You don't want her to see you tomorrow wearing the same clothes you had on today," he called and Light nodded his agreement before disappearing down the stairs.

Lawliet then walked into his apartment and carried his laptop over to the new workstation that was now all completed and ready to go, and set it up. He sat down at the desk and began to work to pass the time until Light returned. He tried not to think about what he was planning to do when Light returned, in case his resolve left him and he chickened out.

Misa was pacing back and forth at the bottom of the stairs impatiently. She had received the express packager from the Yagami's and she couldn't wait to show Light. She was sure he would love it, it was an absolutely beautiful ring. She knew she shouldn't until he formally gave it to her, but she had put it on to see how it looked on her finger and she had nearly cried from happiness. But she had put it back in it's box so that Light could then put it on her finger just as it should be.

She looked at her watch again and stamped her foot in anger. What WERE they doing up there in that stupid extra course anyway? All she knew about it was that it was something that only a selected few were allowed to be in, and that no one else was allowed anywhere near where they met. She couldn't imagine what they could be doing, and she had no clue exactly where it was they were meeting or she'd wait for him outside the door for him. She crossed her arms in exasperation when she remembered that HE was part of that class as well; but Mr. Wammy had told Mr. Yagami that they weren't to be together without someone else being with them, so he couldn't do anything to take Light away from her any longer. Maybe they should have asked for them to not share any more classes either, it might be confusing for Light to have to see him all the time.

She shook her head, no she was pretty sure she had all of his attention these days; they shared all their meals, walked to and from classes together, and now she would walk with him back to his room after his private class. He HAD to only think of her now, and everything would be perfect once she showed him the ring. She turned at the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs and was thrilled to see that it was indeed Light, and that white haired kid she didn't really know. At least it wasn't Lawliet, that's all she cared about.

"Light! Finally! I didn't think you were ever going to get out!" she said running to him on the stairs and throwing her arms around him. Near smirked as Light rolled his eyes and heaved an exaggerated sigh.

"See you later Light," he said softly and continued past them on his way to their room.

"Yea, later," Light answered trying to peel the blonde from around him, "Misa, I'm really tired I need to go to bed…" he started and she pulled away from him with a huge smile.

"No, you can't, not yet. I have something really exciting to show you first!" she said practically vibrating in excitement. He sighed again and sat down on the stairs, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. All he could think about was Lawliet waiting for him upstairs, away from her, where he could just forget everything for a while and he wanted to be there now.

"Alright, what is it?" he asked finally and she sat down next to him, reaching into her purse.

"I just got it today," she said as she pulled it out, "And when you see it you'll be as excited as I am!"

"I doubt that," he said and she turned to him with a pout.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," she said, "I know it's only because you haven't seen it yet."

"Well, hurry up and show me Misa, I'm exhausted," Light said impatiently and she giggled as she held the box out to him.

"Here, you parents picked it out and sent it to me express mail. But it won't be official until you give it to me!" she exclaimed. Light stared at her completely confused until he looked down at what she was holding out to him. It was a simple small box, but he knew immediately what kind of box it was. He suddenly felt as if he was completely boxed in, and he couldn't breathe. They were forcing the situation by sending an engagement ring to her instead of him. They knew that had they sent it to him, he would have simply kept it hidden and not done anything with it, this way, he had no choice.

What he wanted to do was scream and knock the thing out of Misa's hands, tell her he would never give it to her and run away from her and everything it represented. It may have only been a small box, but to him it was a yoke that he would be tied to for the rest of his life if he didn't handle this the right way. He knew he couldn't do what he wanted; she'd immediately report it to his father and he would be pulled from Wammy's and be forced to marry her anyway. But he had to think of a way to stall this, of putting it off until his birthday when he could just tell her the truth…again…and send the damned thing back to his parents. He took a deep breath and took the box from her, opened it and stared at the sparkling ring, biting back the desire once again to fling it across the hallway as far away from him as possible. Instead he turned to Misa, who had already stuck her left hand out towards him, wiggling her fingers in anticipation.

"Misa…I can't do this right now," he managed to get out.

"What? Why not?" she demanded in a loud whine pulling her hand back.

"Because I always imagined that if I were to propose to anyone it would be in a much more romantic setting, not sitting on dirty stairs in an old school building." He said, managing to sound sincere with a small smile.

"Oh that doesn't matter silly," Misa said pushing her hand back into his face, "I don't care where we are, just as long as you put it on my finger!" He shook his head as he closed the box, wrapping his hand around it.

"No, you deserve better than that. Let me hold on to this and plan the perfect time to do it properly," He said reaching up and gently taking her hand, bringing it down to her lap, "It will be better that way." Misa stared at him, preparing her argument, but then as she looked into his eyes she completely lost the desire to argue with him.

"Okay, you mean you want to take me to dinner or something like that, right?" she asked and he looked away.

"Yes, something like that," he answered not looking at her, "And it'll be a surprise when it happens, I won't tell you ahead of time." He added and was suddenly assaulted with a high-pitched squeal as she threw her arms around his neck.

"That sounds so wonderful, Light! I'll wait for you to plan whatever you want to, just don't lose it!" she pressed her mouth against his, her tongue touching his lips, trying to pry them open. He pulled away from her and forced a smile.

"I really need to get some rest now," he said standing up and began to walk down the stairs, Misa at his heels.

"It's a beautiful ring isn't it Light? I think it's going to look beautiful on my hand." She added as they began the walk to her room. He barely heard her as she continued to prattle on about the ring, concentrating instead on hiding his true feelings from her.

"Yes, it is a beautiful ring," he sighed as they got to her door, "I'll see you in the morning," he added and opened the door for her to go inside. He was pulled from behind before she could step in, and he turned to see Misa standing on her tiptoes, her eyes closed and her lips ready to be kissed.

"Good night Misa," he said patting her arm instead, then quickly turning and practically running back to the boy's rooms.

Near looked up as he heard the door and was not surprised to see Light looking obviously distressed, leaning against the door, with one hand over his eyes, he had just spent time with Misa after all. However, he was surprised to see the intense anger on the teen's face when he dropped his hand, and his eyes filled with angry tears.

"Perhaps you should go see Lawliet right away," he suggested, "I'll still cover for you here in case she stops by again." Light nodded then turned and practically ran out of the door, slamming it behind him.

Lawliet had just gotten up from his desk to see if there was coffee when he heard his door open at the same time that he heard Light call his name, but it didn't sound right. He looked up to see Light coming through his door and immediately became concerned when he saw the state the teen was in.

"Light…has something happened? What's wrong?" he asked as he quickly crossed the room to where Light stood leaning against the door, his head bowed as he tried to gain control. Lawliet moved closer, reaching out with one hand to touch the teen's face.

"Please tell me what's wrong!" he pleaded and was shocked when Light finally lifted his head to see tears running down his face. Suddenly Light was in his arms, hugging him so tightly that for a moment he couldn't breathe. His own heart was beating rapidly with the fear of what could have possibly happened to put Light in this state.

He waited for a few minutes, holding Light in his arms, feeling the tears begin to subside before he asked again what had happened. Light finally pulled away from him and took a deep breath. He held up his hand and opened it, revealing the small box. Lawliet stared at it for a moment, and then took it from him. His eyes grew wider as he realized what it had to be, and then looked to Light for an explanation.

"When I met Misa…she showed this ring…an engagement ring…that my father sent to her."

"That he sent to her?" Lawliet asked confused. Light nodded, walking away from him.

"It's his way of forcing me into it. He knew that if he sent it to me to give to her, I'd never do it. By sending it to her, it all but guaranteed I'd at least have to deal with it," his voice hitched slightly, "I managed to put it off for a while but I don't know how long I can keep this up," he turned and faced Lawliet, "I feel like I can't breathe from the pressure; I know she's going to keep badgering me for when I'm going to give it to her, and if I don't do it soon I know my father will somehow get involved! I don't know what else to do Lawliet, I feel trapped and…" Lawliet shook his head, throwing the box onto the nearby coffee table.

"You 're not trapped, Light, not anymore. You have to keep from giving it to her for no more than a few weeks and then you won't be under your father's thumb any longer. "

"But I don't know if I can put it off that long, if he won't force me to give it to her!" Lawliet shrugged his shoulders.

"Then, so what if you do? You and I both know it means nothing, you will simply cancel the engagement when you turn 18." Light sighed and shook his head.

"I can't do that to her, Lawliet. As much as I hate her for what 's going on, it isn't completely her fault, and I can't give her the false hope this ring means by giving it to her. That would be more cruel than she deserves." Lawliet snorted his disagreement.

"She has brought this on herself by ignoring every thing you've said to her. You have never lied to her about your feelings, she knows you don't love her."

"But she's been told by both sets of parents that I really do, that I don't know my mind, that I'm just confused and will come to my senses and marry her when we graduate. She can't help feeling the way she does Lawliet and I can't be any more cruel to her than I already am by continuing to deal with her as if I care, and I'm only doing that because I have to."

Lawliet sighed and walked up behind him, putting his hands on Light's shoulders. One of the things he loved about Light was that he had the empathy that he himself seemed to lack; not that he didn't care about what happened to people, if he didn't he wouldn't be on the path he was now. But if he were Light, he didn't think he would feel as conflicted, because he wouldn't care about Misa's feelings as much as Light did.

"Light…" he was startled when Light suddenly turned to face him, more tears standing in his honey colored eyes.

"The worst part of this is what I know it must be doing to you. Lawliet, I'm so sorry this is a lousy way to try to have a relationship. We can't even talk to each other all day long, if it weren't for Wammy's project we wouldn't be able to speak or spend any time together at all…" Lawliet smiled and leaned forward to kiss the troubled teen gently.

"My feelings should be the least of your worries. You needn't worry about me, as I understand what is happening and why it is happening. I also know that this will all end soon and will simply be a memory of a difficult time," he ran a hand through Light's hair, "In the meantime we will have our time here where no one can interrupt us."

Light smiled for the first time since he'd entered the apartment, he took Lawliet's face in his hands and held him steady as he captured his mouth with his own, desperately connecting with the one person he needed to, to block out all of the pressures that threatened to make him crazy. Lawliet decided that if he'd had any hesitations about what he had planned for tonight, they were gone. Light needed him tonight more than he ever had before, to steady his mind and cement the relationship they had, and he would give himself to him.

When Light finally released him, he reached down and took his hand, reaching into his pocket with the other, then placing the small bottle in Light's hand. Light looked at the bottle and then back up at him in question.

"It means I'm ready Light," he answered with a smile. Light shook his head and handed the bottle back to him.

"No, don't do this just because I've had a bad night…"

"Fool, I planned this before you even arrived," Lawliet told him, "Why do you think it was already in my pocket?" Light kissed him gently, and then looked deeply into his eyes.

"Are you sure? As much as I want this with you, I don't want it until you're ready."

"I am very sure, Light. I'm sure because I love…" he stopped, afraid he'd gone too far, putting more pressure on Light, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"You have no idea how much I needed to hear that," Light told him and pulled Lawliet into a deep kiss, his tongue pushing it's way into Lawliet's mouth, tenderly caressing his tongue as he did. Lawliet moaned into the kiss, feeling something in this kiss he hadn't felt before and any fear he had about telling Light how he felt melted in that moment.

"And in case you were wondering, I love you too," Light told him when he finally released him. Lawliet's entire body warmed at hearing those words from him. He took Light's hand and began to lead him towards the bedroom when there was a sudden knock on the door, startling them both.

"Who could that be?" Light asked beginning to panic, "It couldn't be Misa..."

"No, it can't be Misa, she doesn't know where this area is," Lawliet assured him, "But it might be Wammy, but just in case, go into the bedroom and wait for me there." Light nodded and moved quickly to the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Lawliet then went to the door and opened it, but was not ready for what he found. There was no one outside the door, but on the floor in front of the door was a pile of clothes. Upon closer inspection he recognized them as Light's clothes. He opened the door wider and stepped out into the hall and looked around, but he saw no one. He shrugged his shoulders, picked up the clothes, then closed and locked the door behind him.

"It seems you forgot your change of clothes," he said as he walked into the bedroom, "And someone else remembered." Light took the pile of clothes from him and shook his head.

"I was so upset and wanted to see you so badly that I didn't remember about bringing a change of clothes. The only person that knows I'm here is Near," he said and smiled, "I wouldn't have thought he'd do something like this."

"The one thing I know for sure about Near is that you can't be sure about Near," Lawliet answered and took the clothes back, placing them atop the dresser, then turned back to face Light. He pulled his shirt off over his head and smiled.

"Your turn," he said and watched as Light quickly removed his own shirt.


	14. Chapter 14

Metamorphosis – 14

BB lay silently on the bed as he watched A pace back and forth across their room trying to decide when the best time would to stop him. A hadn't been able to sit still since they had left the meeting, too many thoughts going through his mind to be able to relax. He didn't know BB was going to have them quit the group, but he knew why he did it…it was all his fault. He hadn't been able to keep up, hadn't been able to do his part and now he'd made BB quit. This wasn't the way it was supposed to have worked out; this was supposed to be his chance to prove to BB that he was able to hold up his own weight, that he could accomplish something and now…now look. He stopped for a moment and glanced at BB who was lying on his side and watching him. Was he angry with him now that they were no longer in the group? Would he hold it against him now? He balled his hands into fists and brought them up to his eyes, trying to blot out the hot tears he could feel building behind them. Instead of proving anything he'd just screwed everything up, and…he started when he felt hands on his shoulders.

"A…Alexander…stop," BB's voice came from in front of him, softer and kinder than he could ever remember hearing it. BB had gotten up while he'd had his fists against his eyes, and he hadn't heard him. It had been over a year since BB had used his full name, and the sound of it was almost foreign to him.

"I'm so sorry Beyond," A whispered without turning around, "I made you quit the one thing you were enjoying around here."

"Stop being an asshole," BB said with a chuckle, "I was looking for an excuse to get the hell out from under Lawliet's…excuse me... "L's" little special group. I'm just as good as he is, working just as hard as he does, but all I get to be is one of his back-ups? No thank you," he turned the blonde around to face him, "I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you that your having such a hard time with everything didn't push me to make the decision, but I don't want you to think that it was all about you. I will tell you that you are the most important reason why I decided we had to quit, you know you mean more to me than any little detective crap Wammy's got up his old sleeve."

"But if I wasn't here, if I didn't have such a hard time, you wouldn't have quit BB, that's not you, you never quit." A said tearfully, "You would have stayed if only just to give Lawliet a hard time, you know you would have." BB sighed and looked away for a moment before looking back at A.

"Maybe, I don't know that for sure, and it doesn't fucking matter. Alexander, we had plans before this whole thing came up and we're just gonna go back to them. We're gonna graduate, go back to my place and do whatever it is we want to do. Maybe we'll just travel for a while, maybe we'll start our own detective business and fuck up everything Lawliet tries to do. The "back up" could end up beating the "original" at his own game, ya think?" A nodded slowly, a small smile trying to make itself known on his troubled face.

"That might be fun," he said, "It would really piss off Lawliet wouldn't it?" BB nodded and laughed.

"This might be the best thing we could've done, so stop looking like it's the end of the world," he leaned forward and kissed A, softly and gently at first, and then he reached around and held the blonde head steady as he increased the pressure and strength of the kiss, forcing his tongue into the boys mouth and taking complete control. A closed his eyes and returned the kiss as hard as he could, his mind whirring in so many directions still, trying to decide if what BB said was the truth, or if he was just trying to make him feel better. Right now he didn't care, right now he was enjoying the feel of being in BB's arms again, of feeling like he mattered to someone, even if he didn't deserve it.

"Now, why don't you get ready for bed while I go get us some hot chocolate," BB suggested, knowing how much A loved hot chocolate.

"Okay," A answered and smiled, "And this time don't drink it all before you get back here." He walked over to the bed and began to get undressed. BB walked behind him and helped him get his shirt off, tossing it on to the bed. He ran his hands down A's back, then leaned forward and kissed the back of his neck.

"I'll be right back, don't fall asleep until I get back," he said, "And don't do anything stupid." A turned and stared at him.

"What do you mean stupid?" he asked defensively.

"Like not being here when I get back, that's what I mean," BB said and kissed him again, "You've been known to run when you think I'm mad, and I don't want you to do that. I'll be right back."

"I'm not going to run BB," A promised and BB nodded with a smile and ran out of the door.

The only students allowed in the cafeteria at this hour were the upper classmen, where they could have snacks, coffee, and drinks as they worked on homework or relaxed before going to bed. BB walked in to see the room practically empty, and made his way to the urns, which held hot water for tea, and hot chocolate and one for coffee. As he picked up a couple of Styrofoam cups and began to fill them, he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see the warm smile of his best friend.

"Hey, how're you doing? How's HE doing?" Mello asked and BB tried to smile but it faltered as the true worry he felt bled through, knowing Mello would understand.

"I think I got him calmed down now, but at first it was pretty touch and go," he answered filling the cups with the hot chocolate, "I know I've made the right decision."

"Yea, Matt and I agreed with it too," Mello answered, "It was putting too much of a strain on A, and it isn't really necessary. The three of us have got L covered, you guys can just relax." BB snorted as he put lids on the cups.

"Oh yes, precious L is covered," he said, "Let's make sure all is well for him." Mello sighed and shook his head.

"Look B, it's not his fault things have happened this way. We all agreed we wanted to do this, it's a lot of work but it's a lot of fun too; and I'm sorry you can't be a part of it anymore, but don't hold it against L." He started slightly when it seemed as though his friend's red tinted eyes actually glowed at him.

"But I do hold it against him Mello, if it wasn't for him being Watari's little special project, this whole thing would never have happened and A wouldn't feel like he's such a failure. We had made plans for what we were going to do after graduation, and then this whole thing started and he got his hopes up for something he couldn't handle. And if anything happens to A because of this…" he stopped and smiled instead.

"But nothing is going to happen because we're out and he's going to get better," he finished and picked up the cups, "Thank you for asking about him, but he's gonna be okay. We'll see you in the morning at breakfast."

"Okay, tomorrow asshole," Mello said and they both laughed as BB left the room, hot chocolates in hand. Mello sighed then turned to get himself some chocolate. He reached for his cell phone and dialed Matt; after hours were the only time cell phones were allowed.

"What, miss me already?" he heard the red head answer and he laughed.

"Yea, you keep believing that," he said, "I just ran into B and he's a bit upset over A's taking the news, but he thinks he's gonna be okay. I'm actually calling to see if you changed your mind, if you wanted anything."

"Yea, bring me some tea. I need to be soothed after the ravishing you just gave me," Matt answered and they both laughed.

"You loved every minute of it, and you know it. Okay, I'll bring you tea and Matt…I love you." He heard Matt chuckle before he answered.

"Seeing BB really spooked you, didn't it? I love you too, don't worry about me, I'm fine."

"Yea, I know…but seeing how worried he is..,"

"It's okay, I get it. Now hurry up and get back here with my tea, jerk!" he said and hung up the phone. Mello laughed and put his phone away, no matter what, Matt could always make him feel better. He then got his hot chocolate and Matt's tea, and headed back to their room.

Light couldn't believe just how much better he felt being with Lawliet like this; just lying with him in bed, holding him, kissing him…it made him realize that he wasn't trapped, that he wasn't going to spend the rest of his life pretending, being something he wasn't, feeling like a performing monkey to the entertainment of everyone else. Every time he looked down into those huge dark eyes that were shining up at him with so much emotion it sent waves of passion and love coursing through him, that he was surprised he could handle it all.

They had moved to the bed, removed the rest of their clothes and were enjoying knowing they were somewhere where they wouldn't be interrupted, where they were completely alone and could take their time. Lawliet returned all of the passion he was getting, hungrily kissing him back, continually letting Light know he was ready for this, he wanted this now. Light tried to convey his feelings through actions, kissing him deeply and moving down Lawliet's body with both his mouth and hands. He needed him so much tonight, how much it meant to him that he was here and that he loved him. His entire body was on fire with the intense need and desire that was moving through him; and just the thought that now Lawliet was willing to give allow him access to the most intimate part of him nearly pushed him over the edge.

He continued to kiss down the raven haired teen's body, down to that part of him that was hard and waiting, gently kissing, then licking up the length, taking the tip into his mouth then slowly taking the rest.

Lawliet's moans increased in volume, his hips moving up to push himself even deeper into the warmth of Light's mouth. Light toyed with him for a few more moments before letting his desire to move things further along prompt him to move towards the night stand and the small bottle Lawliet had put there when they climbed into bed. He opened it and poured some of its contents over his fingers. He leaned down and kissed Lawliet deeply.

" I'm going to get you ready so it won't be so uncomfortable," he said once he released him, "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it's not going to be a little uncomfortable at first, but I will do everything I can to make it as easy on you as possible. Just remember that it's only painful for a few moments, and then you won't believe how awesome it's gonna feel, okay?" Lawliet took a deep breath and smiled at him, nodding slowly.

"I trust you Light, I know you'll do your best not to hurt me," he answered, "I love you." Light smiled at him then brought their lips together again, as he reached down and found Lawliet's opening. He slowly slid one finger inside, swallowing Lawliet's gasp of surprise and pain as he pushed it further inside.

"Try to relax Lawliet," he whispered as he slowly moved his finger in and out, and continued to kiss his jaw line and neck before slowly inserting a second finger. Lawliet cried out at the intrusion, but was surprised at how quickly the initial pain subsided, and how it was replaced by warmth that was beginning to radiate through his body. He closed his eyes, his hands clutching the sheets of the bed. Light pushed his fingers deeper, looking for the one spot that would make Lawliet forget about the discomfort and knew he had found it when the teen suddenly cried out his name.

Lawliet's eyes suddenly flew open and he stared up at Light in surprise as he continued to attack his prostate, and he began to move against Light's fingers. This was an entirely new sensation, and Lawliet wasn't sure how long he could take it without losing control. Light kissed down his neck, stopping at a spot above his collarbone where he bit down gently, then sucked the same spot, marking Lawliet as his and enjoying the whimpers and soft cries he was getting in response.

As he felt Lawliet's muscles relax a bit more, he removed his fingers, and poured a little of the cool liquid around Lawliet's opening and then on himself. Lawliet reacted to the sudden coolness with a quick intake of breath, and reached up, wrapping his arms around Light's back, knowing what was coming next.

"Are you still sure?" Light whispered and Lawliet nodded, smiling up at him, then leaning up and kissing him. Light positioned himself and slowly began to enter him, stopping when he heard Lawliet's sudden moan of discomfort, and felt his arms tighten around him.

"It's okay, I'll go slowly," he reassured him, "And I promise it won't hurt for very long." Lawliet nodded again and exhaled slowly as Light continued to push into him. Lawliet's fingers dug into Light's back as he tried not to cry out, feeling for a moment as if he would be torn in two. Light stopped moving once he was completely engulfed in Lawliet's warmth, groaning himself at how wonderful it felt and reminding himself not to move until he got the okay. After a few more moments Lawliet leaned up and kissed him again, telling him he was ready.

Light began to move, pulling out slowly and pushing back in just as slowly, kissing Lawliet deeply as he did, swallowing his moans and matching them with his own. He couldn't believe how right this felt, how intoxicating it was to finally be joined with Lawliet like this. It took every ounce of his strength to not lose complete control and allow all of his past frustrations and desire fuel his thrusts, but the last thing he wanted to do was frighten or hurt Lawliet, he was already scared enough as it was. So he controlled himself and instead focused on making sure Lawliet's experience was as good as he could make it, they had time.

At first all Lawliet was aware of was the burning pain, and then gradually that went away and he could feel instead a different kind of warmth crawling up his spine. He and Light had engaged in several types of sexual play since their relationship had begun in earnest, so he was familiar with the waves of ecstasy that were beginning to pulse through him, but there was a difference this time. Somehow it felt deeper, hotter and more complete now, and nothing they had done before made him feel like this. He hadn't even realized his eyes had closed again until he heard Light ask him to open them to look at him. He did and reached up to move some of his sweat dampened hair hung over his eyes so he could see them.

"It's okay Light," he whispered, "I'm okay." He whispered and then he moved his hands from Light's back to his hair, pulling him down again for a kiss as he began to move his hips to meet Light's thrusts, causing Light to moan louder and increase the speed and depth of this thrusts.

The room was filled with the sound of their soft cries and moans; until Lawliet felt the heat inside of him blossom into a ball of fire as his orgasm began to overtake him. He clutched Light tighter, crying out his name as Light reached forward and began to stroke him. Lawliet's orgasm suddenly exploded through him, taking his breath away and leaving him light headed and weak as he clung to Light. Light came right after him as Lawliet's tightening muscles forced it out of him, surprising him with the power of it. He collapsed on top of Lawliet for a few moments until he had enough strength to roll to his side, taking the still trembling teen into his arms and holding him tightly.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he got his breathing back under control, "I didn't hurt you too much?" Lawliet smiled and shook his head as he continued to hold him tightly.

"No, I'm fine," he answered then kissed him, "That was amazing, and I don't know why I was so scared; I'm really embarrassed I made such a big deal out of it."

"It was because you were looking at stupid porn," Light said laughing and kissed his forehead, "So you had every right to be scared. I do love you Lawliet." He added and was rewarded with the widest smile he'd ever seen on that beautifully pale face.

"I love you too Light," he answered and buried his face in the teen's chest, kissing it lightly, his fingers running across it. He felt strangely calm and happy; Misa and Light's family could try anything they wanted to, but he had Light now and no one would take him away. His concern over his brother's situation faded into the back of his mind; Light loved him, and that was all that mattered, everything else would work out. He closed his eyes and sighed contently, and nuzzled into Light's neck.

"I'm not happy that it happened this way, but having to move into this apartment is the best thing for us," he heard Light say and he tried to answer but his exhaustion got the better of him and he began to drift into unconsciousness. Light looked down at him when he didn't get an answer and chuckled to himself when he saw that he had fallen asleep. He moved wild hair from the front of Lawliet's face and kissed him again, before closing his own eyes and falling into an exhausted sleep himself.

Both of them were started awake by the sound of knocking at the bedroom door, and were suddenly aware of the aroma of coffee.

"Good morning," they heard Wammy's crisp tones through the door, "If you get up now, Light will have time for a shower and coffee before having to join his….friend downstairs." They stared at each other in surprise and then burst into laughter.

"I shouldn't be surprised that he knew I was here," Light said as he began to slide out of bed.

"This is true. I have ceased being surprised by what Wammy knows…Owww!" Light turned to see L grimacing in pain as he tried to sit up.

"Oh…yea I should have warned you that you're going to be a little sore for a while," he said going to him and helping him sit up, "What you need is a nice hot bath or shower." He suggested and Lawliet nodded.

"That seems like a good idea," he answered and then smiled as he saw how concerned Light was, "Don't worry, I am not regretting my decision in any way." He added and was gratified by Light's smile as the worry disappeared from his face.

"I'm glad, because that was the best experience I've ever had," he said then leaned forward and kissed him, "Let me shower first and get dressed, then I'll help you. This way you can take your time while I go meet my "friend" for breakfast." He sighed when he saw's Lawliet's expression darken at the mere suggestion of his going to see Misa, looking down at the floor.

"Hey, don't look that way, you know I don't want to leave you and especially not to go to her. I love you Lawliet, she's a pain in my ass." Lawliet began to laugh as he looked up into Light's face.

"I know, I love you too. It just feels wrong for you me to send you to her after…" he began and Light stopped him with a kiss.

"Yea, don't think I'm happy about this either, but we both know it's the only way right now. Let's just look forward to tonight and not worry about the bullshit of the day." He grinned again and Lawliet nodded.

"You're right, of course. Now go before you run too late and she starts screeching for you." Light rolled his eyes, kissed him quickly, then got up and ran for the shower.

Mello released a sigh of relief when he looked up to see A and BB coming into the cafeteria together. Matt reached over and squeezed his knee affectionately.

"I told you they were going to be okay, and that you had nothing to worry about," he said and Mello nodded.

"I know but I'm gonna be a little nervous until I'm sure A's back the way he should be," he answered and Matt nodded in agreement, "He still doesn't look up to his usual strength."

"I get it, but he does look okay," Matt added and smiled at the couple as they approached the table, breakfast trays in hand, "Hey guys, you're looking dapper this morning!" BB stared at him as he sat down at the table then turned to Mello.

"What the fuck's wrong with him?" he asked and Mello laughed.

"Hell if I know, I give up on trying to figure him out," he nodded at A, "Did you get a chance to drink your hot chocolate last night, or did this jerk drink it?" A grinned as he looked at BB.

"He left most of it for me this time," he said, "But that was before he attacked me and then it got cold." They all laughed and then BB leaned forward so that he was almost nose-to-nose with A.

"Funny, I don't remember hearing the words "don't or stop or leave me alone." He said and A snorted at him.

"And if you had would you have paid any attention?"

"Hell no, I'm just pointing out you didn't even try to stop me," he answered then turned his attention back to Mello when he heard the blonde suddenly bark laughter. He then turned his attention to where Mello was focused and began to laugh himself.

"No fucking way, are you kidding me?" he asked and Mello looked at Matt.

"Didn't I tell you that bottle was gonna get used last night?" he said and the laughter continued as they watched Lawliet walk into the cafeteria. He walked into the room with a slight, telltale limp, stopping only to pick up his favorite breakfast pastries and coffee. As he turned towards the seating area, his eyes scanned the room and finally fell on Light as he sat at a table with Misa and a couple of her friends. Light had positioned himself so that he could see the doorway, wanting to see how Lawliet was when he came in. Their eyes met and for a moment no one else in the cafeteria mattered as everything that needed to be said traveled between them. Lawliet broke the moment by nodding, letting him know he was okay, before Misa noticed that Light's attention was not on her. He then made his way over to the table where the others were sitting, trying not to make it too obvious as he sat a little softer than he usually did, slowly bringing his knees up to his chest.

It was then he noticed the silence at the table, and looked up to see what was wrong. All eyes were on him, all faces had wide grins; even his brother was staring at him with almost unbridled glee.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked and they all burst into laughter.

"No, but obviously congratulations are in order," Mello said and they laughed even more at Lawliet's confused expression.

"Congratulations? I don't understand…" he started and BB leaned closer to him.

"Bet you were glad I gave you that bottle!", he said laughing again and finally Lawliet realized what they were talking about. He had tried really hard not to be obvious, but apparently they could tell he was not completely comfortable this morning and they could figure out why. He felt his face heat up as color rose to it and he looked down at the table.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean…" he tried to hide it but knew ultimately it wouldn't work.

"Oh stop the bullshit Lawliet, it's obvious you finally got your cherry popped, good for you and Light," Mello said, "Maybe now Light will stop walking around here like a wounded animal." Lawliet's eyes flew to Mello's face and wide grin, and after a moment he couldn't help grinning back.

"Although I am not happy with the crudeness of your description, I guess it is a good thing," he finally admitted, "But you have to be sure not to let the knowledge of this slip around Misa."

"Don't worry about that," Matt answered, "We barely speak to the nut job anyway."

"Not that I really care about her feelings, but I don't want her to make things worse for Light."

"I guess having to move out of Light's room into your own place was really a blessing in disguise," A said and then looked down at his plate, his grin slowly disappearing. "Look, Lawliet I'm sorry BB and I had to leave the program, it was my fault that I couldn't keep up."

"Stop it," BB told him, "You don't have anything to apologize for and especially not to him!"

"My brother is correct, you certainly don't have to apologize to me for what happened last night, and it was obvious that it was not your decision in the first place." Lawliet answered.

"Well, no not really," A answered and BB turned on him.

" No, it was my decision," BB told him, "To do what I thought was best for both of us," he then turned on Lawliet, "We don't need to be part of your little exclusive group, we have our own plans for what we want to do after graduation." He said and Lawliet nodded as he fixed his coffee to his liking.

"I agree, it certainly isn't worth risking A's mental health or future happiness. Now that I am in a relationship such as yours, I understand the need to care for your partner and I would have done the same thing." He sipped his coffee and took the first bite of his pastry. A looked uncomfortable when Lawliet mentioned his mental health and it didn't go past BB.

"You watch what you say about A," BB warned, "It's your fault this whole thing happened in the first place, Wammy thinking you're so special that you need others to hang around and wait for you to die."

"B! That's not the whole reason!" Mello defended and Lawliet shook his head.

"It's okay Mello, I understand B's anger and he is justified," he turned to A who seemed as if he were trying to hide within himself, "Although I did not set up the curriculum that you were subjected to, I know it was set up to get everyone up to my level of expertise in detective work at a faster pace than even I arrived at. I believe that was ultimately unfair to expect everyone to be able to deal with that much pressure."

"Are you saying A isn't good enough to be part of your little program?" BB accused and A put his hand on his arm and shook his head.

"I wasn't good enough BB, that isn't Lawliet's fault. I tried, but it was more than I could handle."

"It isn't a matter of being good enough," Lawliet answered, "Not everyone can do everything. A-you are incredibly intelligent and resourceful, I believe your talents lie elsewhere and I would like the opportunity to discuss the possibilities with you." A's face brightened, the idea that he could still be part of the program exciting him, but before A could answer BB answered for him.

"No! There's nothing you could offer him that he needs to take. I've already told you that we have plans for after graduation and they don't include you."

"But shouldn't I at least listen to what he has to offer first?" A ventured and BB turned on him.

I said NO! I don't care what he has up his sleeve, we don't need it, and I thought we already discussed this! You don't need his approval for you to think you're brilliant and capable." A sighed and looked at Lawliet apologetically before nodding at BB.

"Yea, you're right. I don't know why I thought there was anything I could do anyway," he said and then smiled, "But thank you Lawliet for thinking I could." BB smiled and squeezed A's hand.

"Now that's settled," he said and turned to Mello, "So tell me, after we left last night, did any of my ideas about who the Zodiac killer was pan out?" Matt and Mello looked at each other and then looked at Lawliet who sighed and turned towards his brother.

"We can no longer discuss any of the work that is done within the program," he explained, "It was the one things we had to concede to in order to allow us to continue to stay in contact with you and A. I'm sorry B, but you can not longer be included."

"But that's not new business, I worked really hard on this…" BB argued and Lawliet shook his head.

"I'm sorry BB but these are the rules. You opted to leave, we can no longer discuss anything with you," he gathered his empty dishes and slowly lowered his legs from the chair so he could stand, "I have to get back to my apartment before class begins, I have a new case I'm working on." He nodded at the rest of them at the table and got up slowly, trying to walk away without limping but failing. He could hear Mello and Matt giggling as he left the table and decided to just ignore them. He stopped as he cleared his tray and snuck a look at Light, just as Light did the same, his eyes reflecting his continued worry over his condition. He tried not to react as Misa grabbed Light's hand to hold against her chest as she chatted to her friends, but Light rolled his eyes and it was all he could do to not burst into laughter. He turned and left the cafeteria as quickly as he could under the circumstances instead.

"Come on guys, you can tell me what happened, he's gone now," BB prodded once Lawliet had left the table. Mello sighed and shook his head.

"I'm sorry man, we agreed and we can't go back on our word. I'm really sorry. Maybe if you talk to Wammy, maybe he can tell you something, but we can't." BB's eyes flashed in anger for a few moments before he took a deep breath and sat back in his chair.

"Fine, I understand," he said finally and then smiled, "Who the fuck cares anyway, the case is so old and nothing can be done anyway, he's most likely dead."

A looked at him sadly and then stared at his hands. You care BB, he thought, I know how hard you worked on the theories you put together as to why you thought your suspect was the killer and how badly you wanted to be proved right. Now all that work is worthless, and it's all my fault. How many other things am I going to disappoint you with, what else am I going to hold you back from? It's not fair; I'd leave you if I could, but I know I can't live without you. You'd do fine without me, you'd be able to do so much more. He sighed then started slightly when he felt BB grab his hand and squeeze it. He smiled at him and sighed again. You deserve so much more BB, I've got to do something to make this all up to you, I promise I will.


	15. Chapter 15

Metamorphosis 15

"Hey, there's mail!" Matt called as he opened the door to their room. Mail was generally slid under the dorm room doors unless they were packages and then a note was left with instructions to pick it up at Administration.

"Of course it's for you," Mello said as he closed the door behind him, watching Matt pick it up, "Your sister's always sending you shit." Matt shook his head as he read the front of the envelope.

"Not this time, it's for you." He said and Mello turned to stare at him.

"For me? I don't get any mail," he said taking the envelope from Matt's hand. He looked at the return address and realized it was from his brother. He sighed and threw the envelope into the garbage can by the door.

"Why'd you do that? What's wrong with you?" Matt questioned as he went to the garbage can to retrieve it.

"I don't care what he has to say. He lets his wife lead him by the nose, even when it comes to me," he shrugged, threw his books on the desk and turned on the computer, "Fuck him." Matt held the retrieved letter out to him.

"So he made a bad judgment call in the heat of the moment. He probably had her badgering him about the baby and who knows what else. He knew he wasn't throwing you out into the street, just back here to school and I'm sure he hoped he could calm her down before the year was over. You owe it to him to at least look and see what he wrote."

"I don't, Matt. You can burn that fucking thing as far as I'm concerned."

"But what if he's apologizing, Mello?," Matt pushed, "What if he's managed to make her understand? Mello, it could be about your niece, you can't tell me you don't care about Lisa!" Mello's head snapped up at the mention of his young niece. He loved Lisa because until Matt she was the only one who loved him unconditionally. She was the only one he missed seeing, missed her infectious giggle, her strong little hand when it wrapped around his finger.

"If you 're so worried about it, you read it," he finally said and began to type. Matt shook his head and continued to hold the letter out to him.

"No, it's not addressed to me. Stop being a pussy and just open the damned thing," he said and hit Mello over the head with it. Mello growled and snatched it away from him, then stared at it for a few moments, turning it over in his fingers.

"It feels like there's pictures in here," he said and Matt nodded as he reached for a cigarette.

"So open it and see, I'm going to have a smoke, I'll be right back," he said then leaned down and kissed the top of Mello's head, ducking and laughing when the blond half-heartedly swung at him. Matt pulled his goggles down over his eyes as he walked outside and sat on the steps as he reached for his cigarettes. They served two purposes, kept the sun out of his eyes and also kept the smoke out of his eyes. He went out partly because he wanted a smoke, but also to give Mello some space as he opened the letter so he could deal with it without an audience. He took a deep drag on the cigarette, holding it deep within his lungs before he let it escape. He'd give him about ten minutes and then go back to see how he was handling it, and braced himself for anything.

Mello played with the envelope for a few more moments before ripping it open, and spilling the contents out into his hand. As expected there were pictures, three to be exact and two were of Lisa. She had grown so much in just the few months that he had been gone, sitting up on her own and reaching towards the camera, her big toothless grin just as beautiful as he remembered. He traced her face with his fingers on each picture, feeling the familiar ache of loss that he always felt when he thought about her. The third was an old picture of he and his brother He put the pictures down and made himself unfold the letter and begin to read.

Dear Mello;

As I haven't heard anything from you since you left, I'm assuming you're not even opening the letters I've sent you. I'm never going to stop trying, and I'm hoping you'll at least open this one when you feel there are pictures inside. I know how much you love Lisa, and I thought you should see how much she's grown since you've been away. She misses you; she actually looks for you in the morning and at night when you used to feed her and play with her.

I know you said you weren't coming back, but I'm hoping it was just because you were upset with Gretchen at the time and you didn't mean it. I miss you Mello, you're my brother and for the longest time it was just you and I, don't think I've forgotten that. I love Gretchen, but she can't replace you in any way. I'm sorry she didn't understand, but she's getting better, by the time school is out she'll probably welcome you and your boyfriend instead of being afraid of the situation. She's trying to understand because she loves you Mello, she just needed time.

Please call when you get a chance and let me know you got this letter. If I don't hear from you I'll know you either didn't get it, or you're just ignoring it. Either way, I'll be trying again until I do hear from you, I'm not ever going to give up; I love you Mello and I always will. Dieter

Mello folded the letter and laid it on the desk, then picked up the pictures again to gaze at his niece. Then he looked at the picture of he and Dieter. He couldn't have been more than 10 years old and Dieter 15. It was one of the last pictures his parents had taken of them before the accident. He felt warm tears begin to cloud his vision and he put the pictures down, putting a hand over his face. The reality was he did really miss his brother, his niece and even Gretchen, but especially his brother. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, dialing a number he hadn't dealt with in months.

Just as Matt decided he had given Mello enough time, he was surprised to see the blonde sit down next to him on the stairs. He finished off what had been his second cigarette, and put down his video game, signaling he was ready to talk if Mello wanted to, but he wasn't going to force him. He looked over at Mello for a few moments to get an idea of what to expect; and it was obvious to him that he had been crying, there was still a touch of red to his eyes. In a way he was glad to see that, at least he had owned up to his feelings and that was a good thing; but he did wonder exactly where he was now as he waited for him to say something.

"You want to see the pictures?" Mello asked him quietly and held two of them out for Matt to take.

"Sure," he answered taking them, "Thank God she doesn't look anything like you," he said, "The family resemblance ends with Dieter." He heard Mello snicker before he handed him a third. Matt looked at it for a moment before saying anything.

"So, he wasn't above using emotional blackmail, eh?" he asked and Mello nodded.

"I guess he figured he had to do something to get me to pay attention," he said and Matt nodded.

"Yea you are kind of like a brick wall when you want to be," he said, "So you read it?"

"I read it, and then I called him," he answered.

"You called him? Mello…you called him?" Matt asked in surprise and then broke out into a wide grin as Mello nodded, "It's about fuckin' time, man."

"Yea, I know but I had my reasons," he answered.

"I know, and I get that, but it always bothered me you weren't talking to him, no matter what he's still your brother," Matt told him, "And I'm really glad you called him, you've got to feel better now." Mello looked at him and nodded again.

"Yea, I do," he reached up and moved the goggles up from Matt's eyes so that they were now perched on top of his head, and he could clearly see the green.

"If you hadn't made me read it I would have just dropped it in the garbage like the others he sent." Matt rolled his eyes and smiled again.

"Yea, well you wouldn't have read it if you hadn't really wanted to Mello, you don't do anything you don't want to do. You just needed an excuse and I gave it to you," he reached for another cigarette and lit it up as Mello laughed but didn't dispute his theory. Matt took a deep drag and then made little smoke rings as he released it.

"Now that you're back on speaking terms, does it change what your plans are for the future?" he asked and Mello shook his head.

"No, just because we're talking doesn't mean there's a place for me there anymore. They're their own little family now Matt, I'd just be in the way if I ever went back, I know that. Besides, we've been working too damned hard to not keep up with this program, don't you think?"

"I thought so, but I just wanted to make sure," he looked at Mello seriously after taking another drag, "Not that it mattered, I'm with you no matter what you decide. But you knew that, right?" Mello smiled, reaching down to take Matt's free hand.

"I hoped so anyway. One thing I've learned is to never assume anything when it comes to you." Matt squeezed his hand then stood up, sticking his game in his pocket and finishing his cigarette.

"Yea well you should know by now that I'm always going to be with you Mello, nothing's going to change that," he grinned, "Except for right now I'm starving and if you don't come with me to the cafeteria I'm leaving your ass out here." He turned and headed towards the door. Mello laughed again and stood up and followed him. He grabbed the red head's arm just before he went in.

"Matt…thanks," he said. Matt knew how hard that was for Mello to say so he didn't make a big deal out of it. He simply smiled and nodded his head, then went into the building.

A made his way up the private stairway that led to Wammy's private quarters and now also Lawliet's. He knew Lawliet would be there, and that he'd be alone because he'd just seen Light suffering with Misa and headed for the cafeteria for dinner. He wanted to discuss something with the budding detective and he wanted to do it alone.

Lawliet was surprised by the soft knock on his door; he knew it couldn't be Light he had just left to meet Misa, and Wammy only knocked if he thought Light was there. He got up from his perch at his desk and opened the door.

"A? Is something wrong?" He asked blinking at the blond in surprise.

"Is it okay if I come in and talk to you about something?" A asked nervously. Lawliet thought for a moment, wondering if this was some big plan of his brother's to hurt him somehow.

"Is Beyond with you?" he asked and A shook his head.

"No, and I don't want him to know I'm here. Can I please come in?" he asked again. Lawliet sighed and then stepped out of the way so A could enter the apartment. He could tell the boy was nervous and desperately wanted to talk to him, although about what he couldn't begin to imagine.

"If it's about anything relating to the program, you know I can't discuss anything with you." He said as he closed the door behind him. A shook his head as he looked around the apartment.

"No, it's nothing like that, although it sort of is," he answered cryptically, "This is very nice, Lawliet. I'm not holding you from going to dinner am I?"

"Thanks," the teen answered stuffing his hands into his jeans pockets, "And no, you 're not holding me from dinner. I have decided to take my meals here, it's less…it's easier for me and I don't interrupt my work."

A knew immediately it was because he didn't want to have to look at Light spending his meals with Misa hanging all over him and he couldn't blame him.

"That makes sense," he answered, "It's a lot classier than the cafeteria anyway." Lawliet nodded.

"I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean, however, about this being about the program and not being about it." He walked over to his desk and sat in the chair, motioning for A to sit down on the couch.

"I need to ask you for a favor Lawliet, promise you'll help me," A said earnestly, his hands moving nervously in his lap.

"It depends on what it is," Lawliet answered, "I can't promise something I know nothing about."

"When BB withdrew us from the program, I didn't know he was going to do that," A began looking down at his hands, "And even though I know he's doing it because he's worried about me, I didn't want him to do it." Lawliet nodded, he suspected as much.

"I assumed that was the case," he said.

"Even though I was having a hard time with everything, it gave me something to do, that I felt I was accomplishing something special, something that I could do that would make Beyond proud of me, do you understand?" Lawliet's thumb came to rest against his lips as he listened.

"You feel you need to prove something to Beyond?" he asked and A nodded.

"He's always taking care of me, making sure I'm okay and sometimes I feel like I'm some kind of invalid, like…like he doesn't think I can do anything on my own and doing the program at least made me feel I was doing SOMETHING worthwhile and now…" he trailed off. Lawliet watched him carefully, concerned that his unease was spiraling upwards.

"It is no secret that you have some…problems that he feels he must be watchful over because he cares a great deal for you," he answered, "I don't believe he is trying to undermine you in any way." A sighed and looked up at him.

"I know that Lawliet, and I know BB loves me," he said, "But I need to give him a reason to love me, instead of just someone he's got to constantly take care of. I thought being your sort of successor and working with you and the rest would show I had some abilities, that I was capable…"

"Obviously Wammy thought you had the necessary abilities, or he wouldn't have asked you," Lawliet said, "I still fail to see what you want from me. If you wish me to intercede for you, to get you back on the program, I'm afraid that's not something I can do now that you both have withdrawn."

"I know, I know," A said miserably, "But I hoped that maybe…maybe there was something I could do that wasn't specifically in the program we left. Something I could do that I could help you with, something that I could prove to BB that I can handle and maybe I can show him I'm more capable than he thinks I am."

"A…I don't know what that could possibly be," Lawliet said quietly, "The program called for you and the others to be able to follow me and until that time to work alongside me if necessary. But that required you being part of the curriculum that Wammy set up, and now that you're not, there's nothing you can do." He was startled when A suddenly stood up and came towards him, his hands outstretched as he pleaded with him.

"But there must be something I can do, I feel so useless. BB's going to eventually get tired of me dragging on him like this, and he'll leave me!" Lawliet shook his head as he stood up and walked towards the table and a bowl of candy that was sitting in the middle.

"I find that scenario next to impossible," he said as he examined the bowl's contents, "It's quite obvious how much he cares about you, I doubt he would leave you for any reason and especially because of your…situation."

"I don't want him staying with me because of my…situation, as you put it," A snapped, his upset growing, "I want him to stay with me because he wants to, because he's proud of being with me, not because he pities me."

"Perhaps I should not have put it that way," Lawliet said trying to calm him, "In any case, I don't know of any way to help you in regards to the program."

"Maybe I could just be your assistant," A suggested, "I don't need to be part of the program to help you on the side…" Lawliet sighed as he picked out a colorful lollipop and began to unwrap it.

"That is precisely what Light is doing," he said, "As I will be unable to physically go to cases, crime scenes, he will be my eyes and legs; getting the information that I cannot and he will know what I need from his own training and I certainly don't believe he needs an assistant as he is more than capable of…" he stopped and turned towards the teen when he heard what sounded like a quiet sob come from his direction. He watched as A's entire body began to tremble and tears began to roll down his face as he continued to stare at his hands. Lawliet turned his back on him and walked back to his chair, his mind working quickly.

"...he is more than capable of handling it on his own," he finished as he sat down, still facing away from A and focusing on his computer, "However, sometimes Light bites off more than he can chew, and he has no clue as to how large this operation will eventually become. It is definitely possible that he will not be able to handle everything on his own, that he will need some assistance in preparing the groundwork. Perhaps it would be prudent to have someone waiting in the wings to provide him aide in that eventuality."

A slowly raised his head and looked up at Lawliet, who's back was still to him, hope showing in his tear filled eyes.

"I could do that Lawliet, I could be ready to assist Light…" Lawliet turned and stared at him, his large eyes wide as he appeared to appraise him.

"I don't know, it would require some work on your part, although not as much as being a successor would entail…" he began and A jumped from the couch and ran over to him.

"I can do this!" he said, "Please Lawliet, I already know the basics and anything that Light would want me to do in particular he could show me himself," he begged, "Please Lawliet, I need to feel like I'm doing something important!"

"Fine," Lawliet answered and turned away from him again, "I will discuss this with Light and Wammy later this evening. See me tomorrow at this same time and I will let you know how we will handle this. You cannot share this with Beyond, however, at least not until the end of the school year. I will leave how you will explain your absences with you."

"Of course not, I don't want him to know anyway until after training is over and I can show him…I can tell him…thank you Lawliet, you don't know what this means to me!"

"I did not do this for you, I did it because I wish this program to succeed. Now I have to ask you to leave, I have a lot of work to do." He answered without turning back around. A nodded and went to the door. He put his hand on the knob and then turned back to face Lawliet.

"Thank you L," he said quietly then ran out of the door. Lawliet turned slowly towards the door as it closed and smiled.


	16. Chapter 16

Metamorphosis – 16

"Exactly what is it that you're proposing A do?" Wammy asked after Lawliet told him of his discussion with A while having dinner before preparing for the evening's study.

"I was thinking of a type of assistant to Light. He doesn't have to be privy to everything that's going on, but he could be of help to Light once things get started. We can work out the details later; but I think he would work better as an assistant than a successor."

Wammy thought for a moment as he watched Lawliet tuck into his fruit cup. The teen had not wanted to go down to the cafeteria for dinner and he had actually enjoyed bringing the young man his dinner and doting on him more than usual. He could see exactly what his future held for him and he was looking forward to it, he loved the boy more than he cared to admit.

"You say the main reason you offered this to him was because he was obviously in an overly emotional state about proving his worth. I would think that kind of behavior would preclude him from continuing to be involved, as it is obvious he is not taking his medication properly."

"While this is true, I am sure the reason he stopped taking his medication properly was because of the pressure he was under in trying to reach levels that were difficult for him. I believe that once he feels capable again and in control I believe he will go back to his regimen; in fact I will insist upon it." Lawliet answered and Wammy nodded.

"I agree, and I am sure Light will accept it as well," he smiled at his young protégé, "I am quite proud of you, taking A under your wing like this. Especially when you know your brother will not approve." Lawliet shrugged as he now reached for his coffee.

"My brother does not own A, as much as he would like to think so. I believe this will strengthen him and give him a purpose other than being Beyond's supposed property. I have also given him the responsibility of telling Beyond that he's doing this, so that my brother realizes it was A's idea and desire, not mine." Wammy nodded as he poured Lawliet another cup of coffee, but in the back of his mind was worry, worry that A would not be up to the task and worry what B would do when he found out. He looked around the apartment deciding where would be good spots to put surveillance cameras and microphones in protection of his L. He smiled as the door opened and Light came rushing in with a nod in his direction before going directly to Lawliet. Perhaps he'd leave the bedroom alone, they did deserve some semblance of privacy. He poured a cup of coffee for Light before leaving them alone.

The moment the door was closed behind Wammy, Light grabbed Lawliet and kissed him deeply, not letting him go until he needed to breathe. He leaned his forehead against the young detective's as he caught his breath.

"I've been dying to do that for hours," he said as Lawliet laughed, reaching up and running his fingers through the auburn hair.

"I understand as I've felt the same," he said and pulled away slightly so he could look at Light properly, "Has she been particularly difficult today?" Light grimaced and shook his head.

"Not any more than usual, but I just really needed to be with you," he kissed him again gently then smiled, "How are you feeling?"

"I am quite well. Any residual soreness has pretty much worn off, if that's what you 're worried about," Lawliet answered, a slight blush appearing on his face.

"Of course I'm worried about it," Light answered as he fixed his coffee, "I did notice you were limping earlier."

"Yes, well that is why I decided to eat dinner here," Lawliet sighed, "It was quite obvious to everyone else as well unfortunately." Light raised an eyebrow as he took a sip.

"You mean the guys?" he asked and Lawliet nodded as he swallowed. "I don't see that as a problem, it's not like they're going to run to Misa about it."

"No, I know that but it did make me the butt of their conversation and jokes for a while," Lawliet answered seriously and couldn't understand why Light nearly choked on his coffee.

"I fail to see the humor…" he stopped as he reran what he had said in his mind and realized why Light was laughing, "Well obviously that is not what I meant." He said tersely and then fell victim to Light's laughter and chuckled himself, "But I suppose the play on words is amusing." Light leaned forward and kissed him again.

"Especially coming out of you," he added and Lawliet rolled his eyes before moving away.

"Well, once you gain control of yourself I have something to discuss with you," he said finally and stood up, sticking his hands into his pockets and walking towards the main room, "And I'm hoping you'll agree with the decision I made as it affects you most of all." Light stared after him in confusion for a moment and then grabbed his coffee and followed him into the main room, joining him on the couch.

"Okay, what's happening?" he said and Lawliet began.

A ran over as many excuses he could think of for explaining his upcoming absences to BB. It wasn't as if they spent every waking hour together, their schedules weren't exactly the same, but they had times when they were together and after classes was generally the same for both of them. He really didn't want to lie but he didn't want to tell BB until he was really sure everything was working out, and then he could proudly tell him exactly what was happening. He was sure BB wouldn't be thrilled with it at first, but he was sure that once he saw how well he was doing with it, he 'd be proud of him. Nothing else would change, they could still get their own place, and BB could do whatever it was he wanted to do, he'd just be working with Light and Lawliet and that would be his contribution to the relationship and proving he was capable and not an invalid needing to be taken care of constantly. When he opened the door to their room and saw B look up and smile at him, he knew he was doing the right thing; B would be proud of him and that's all he wanted.

Over the next several weeks, A was able to keep one step ahead of BB and spend a couple of nights each week in Lawliet's apartment working with both he and Light, and sometimes with Wammy on certain subjects. Even getting away to go to the firing range when Watari was teaching them how to properly handle handguns and learning the different types. With each passing day he felt his confidence get stronger, feeling good about what he was doing and what his future held for him.

BB had noticed the rise in A's mood and believed it was because he had taken them out of the program. As the holidays began to approach, he made plans for them to spend it at his home, which would eventually become their home, so A would feel comfortable and familiar with it when they moved at the end of the school year. His dad was almost never there, so they would effectively be alone. He also began to look into what they could do for their future. Not that he really had to worry about it, his father had more than enough money but he hated feeling he owed him anything. He still liked the idea of opening his own agency, and becoming L's greatest competitor. That brought a big grin to his face; nothing would make him happier than continuing to be a pain in his brother's ass without having to deal with him.

He was walking back from the cafeteria having preferred to take his dinner back to their room as he waited for A, when the object of his thoughts walked down the hall in front of him. Lawliet was walking barefoot as usual, slightly stooped over as he clutched his books tightly in front of him, obviously completely lost in thought. BB moved out of Lawliet's view before he spotted him, and watched as he continued down the hall, heading for the stairway that would ultimately lead him up to his new apartment.

For just a moment he remembered what their relationship had been like when they were much younger, before the divorce and the separation and he felt a small tinge of brotherly emotion for his twin. He quickly pushed it away, replacing it with the near hate he normally felt. Even though Lawliet had never done anything to hurt him purposefully, there were reasons why he felt so much animosity towards his brother. Partly because Lawliet had become so serious and so much more determined to be perfect than B would ever be, or even cared to be. Partly because it appeared that everyone doted on and was impressed by everything Lawliet did; while eyeing him with suspicion. He knew most of it was because of the eerie glow his eyes could take on when he was angered, but that wasn't what bothered him the most about Lawliet. But no one knew the real reason why he held such a strong grudge against his twin.

"Lawliet! Wait up!" BB was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of A's voice unexpectedly as he moved away. He watched as A raced up the stairs to catch up with his brother as Lawliet stopped and turned to face him.

"I had to finish up a test in geometry," he heard as they began to walk together, "I was worried I was gonna be late…" he didn't hear Lawliet's answer as they moved out of earshot together.

His emotions jumped from confusion to anger. What the hell was A doing with Lawliet? Obviously they had planned to meet at a specific time for some specific reason. His mind went over the possible reasons A would go to his brother for; maybe there was a particular course he was having difficulty in and he was looking for help. He shook his head; if that were the problem he would have come to him first.

His first reaction was to follow them and demand to know what the hell was going on, but he decided not to. He would give A the chance to explain first and then if he didn't like the answer he'd kick Lawliet's ass. Lawliet might get everything else he wanted, but A was his alone. He turned and continued towards their room.

Several hours later, A moved quickly down the stairs and thru the hall; this session had taken a lot longer than he had expected. Watari had them outside searching for clues he had hidden, creating a mock crime scene. If he was going to help be L's eyes alongside Light, he had to learn to work together with him. Light would always be in the lead as he had the extra training, but he still had to be able to hold up his end and so far he felt he was doing really well. Even Lawliet had told him he was holding up his end better than he anticipated, and to him that was almost as good as hearing it from B. He and Light had always gotten along, but dealing with him in this capacity was completely different, and he enjoyed working with him as they bounced ideas off one another.

He frowned slightly as he thought about BB and what he would really think about what he was doing. He knew he'd probably be a little upset, but once he explained how well it was working, how happy it made him, he was sure it would be okay. Since he was so late getting back to the room tonight, this would probably be a good time to explain it all. BB loved him, it would be okay.

Mello recognized the stride of anger from BB as he walked from the cafeteria back towards his room, coffee in hand. He and Matt had gone for some hot chocolate and saw him leaving as they were approaching.

"Wonder what's up his ass tonight," he said to Matt as they watched him continue down the hall.

"Yea I know, considering everything's been going so well for he and A lately. If you want to go see what's up I'll take these back to the room." Matt offered and Mello nodded.

"Yea, I think that would be a good idea, thanks," Mello answered and headed for B's dorm room.

He got there just as BB walked into the room, slamming the door behind him. He knocked once and then opened the door and peeked in.

"Wow I'm surprised the door is still on it's hinges," he said as he closed the door behind him, "What the hell's up your ass tonight?" His question was met with nearly flashing eyes

"You need to turn around and leave Mello," BB told him. Mello shook his head and leaned against the door, his arms crossed defiantly, nodding at the dinner tray still on the desk.

"You know better than that. You were fine when you left us to pick up your dinner, what the hell's happened since then?" BB continued to stare at him, only to receive a blue-eyed stare that was just as fierce as his in it's determination. He finally sighed and looked away. Somehow he was never able to deny his best friend.

"I saw A chasing down Lawliet today, following him to his apartment and talking about being late for something. Its hours later and he hasn't come back yet, he even missed dinner. I want to know what's going on." Mello sighed and moved away from the door towards BB.

"Okay, so you saw A chasing down your brother earlier. Why's that got you so angry? That could have been anything, maybe Lawliet's giving him lessons on something he's having trouble with If they were working together I'm sure Lawliet made sure he had dinner."

"He would have come to me if he was having trouble with anything," BB answered, "There's no reason for him not to."

"C'mon BB, you know he doesn't want you to think less of him for any reason. If he was having trouble he wouldn't want you to know." He watched as BB began to pace the room, struggling for the right words to try and explain how he was feeling.

"I don't want him getting too close to Lawliet, and if my brother does him a favor he'll want something in return." Mello snorted his disdain at the answer.

"Don't tell me you're jealous of your own brother? I wouldn't worry about that, he's getting his pipes oiled regularly by Light these days, and he's never been interested in A anyway. He's also not the type to do things for what he'll get in return, and you know that." BB sighed and stopped pacing for a moment and looked at Mello.

"Yea, I know that. But I can't shake the feeling that something's going on behind my back, I know it's probably stupid but I can't. And the fact that Lawliet's going to have one more thing to hold over me somehow, one more thing."

"Now you're just being paranoid. He doesn't have anything over you, you're just as intelligent as he is, you have everything that he does and," he grinned, "His looks aren't any better than yours." BB stopped pacing long enough to express his displeasure at Mello's supposed joke about them being twins by flipping him off. No, he didn't have everything that Lawliet did, especially…

"Look at this whole L thing; Wammy didn't even think twice about offering it to him. I'm just as good as he is, why didn't he at least pretend to offer it to me? Or maybe even both of us? He dotes all over Lawliet anyway, whatever that little asshole wants Wammy sets himself on fire to get it for him."

"Aw come on B, you didn't want that job anyway," Mello began.

"That's not the point, the point is he didn't even offer it…"

"He didn't offer it to any one of us, B. He's been working with Lawliet all along on this venture; Lawliet loves detective work and has for a long time. It only made sense that he offered it to him," he looked seriously at BB, "And you know why he's so close to Wammy; he's a father figure to him. He looks at him as the father he never had, in that instance you have it over him, you at least had a father growing up…" B turned on him in sudden anger.

"And he had a mother, our mother!" Mello stared in surprise at the sudden, unexpected outburst, "I grew up without a mother and I didn't look for someone else to replace her!" Mello's eyes widened in surprise and sudden understanding.

"Is this what's been the big problem you have with him? What you've been holding against him all this time? That he had your mother and you didn't? From what you told me, it's not as if she completely abandoned you."

"He had her all the time though, Mello. I'd get an occasional visit, presents on my birthday, occasional phone calls…"

"Which is more than your father gave him I understand…" Mello added, "and he doesn't hold that against you."

"Why should he, he knows what Dad is like. Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone like my Dad? I wasn't allowed to cry, feel bad no matter what happened to me, I was expected to always just suck it up and go forward. I'm sure when Lawliet fell off his bike, or got beat up, mom held him, nurtured him, told him it was going to be okay. I would imagine what it was like to feel that and not be told to shut the fuck up and stop all that noise!" he looked down at the floor, "He'd call me creepy because of my eyes."

"I'm sorry your Dad was such a hard ass, but that isn't Lawliet's fault BB," Mello said moving even closer to him. He reached out and put a hand on the teen's shoulder, "It wasn't his decision who got to go with who. But at least I understand your animosity towards him now." BB looked up at him, tears standing in the red-rimmed eyes.

"And what was wrong with me that she chose Lawliet over me?" he asked, "Why didn't she fight harder to keep us both? Dad didn't really want me; I was just a prize so he wouldn't feel she got everything. Lawliet always gets chosen over me!"

Mello could feel the pain coming off of his friend in waves, pain he never knew BB was even feeling. What he just heard explained so much, and he wanted to make sure that he said the right thing in answer. As he opened his mouth to say something, BB shook his head and moved away.

"You can't answer that, only she can, " he said anger returning, "So now he gets to have the father he never had, not only that, but one that dotes on him, adores him and moves the world so he can have whatever it is he wants," he looked back at Mello, "Including his new fuck buddy. So what do I have? A is what I have, he's all I have Mello, all that matters to me and now he's hanging out with Lawliet. I won't let him take the one thing I have."

"BB-Lawliet isn't going to take A away from you, he doesn't want to and even if he did don't you think A would have something to say about that? He loves you and even though I don't know what they 're doing I'm sure it's nothing you have to worry about. You know how much A cares about you, you're just being paranoid for no reason." he once again moved closer to BB and put his hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry you didn't have your mom when you were growing up; I lost mine at an early age too as you know so I can understand. But you can't keep blaming Lawliet for that, he didn't take her away from you." He waited for a moment to see if BB was actually listening or just letting him talk. He sighed when he didn't get any response and decided to go forward.

"When A gets back, don't attack him with accusations and create a problem that isn't even there."

"I want to know what they were doing…"

"And I'm sure he'll tell you if you ask nicely. Now tell me you're not going to be an asshole so I can leave before my hot chocolate stops being hot." BB sighed and ran a hand through his hair before turning to Mello.

"I won't attack him, but I will find out what's going on," he then smiled, "Thanks, Mello." Mello smiled back.

"It's okay BB, but you've got to work on not blaming Lawliet but right now I just don't want you to do anything fucking stupid," he turned and went to the door, "If you need anything you know where I am. I'll probably come by later to make sure A didn't beat you up too badly when you got in his face. " He added laughing and then left the room. BB watched him leave then turned and began to pace again.

"Hey!" A said as he approached his room and met Mello, "Were you just with BB?" Mello nodded and then moved closer to him.

"Look, just to warn you because he's being a bit unreasonable, BB saw you going with Lawliet earlier and he's wondering what it is you two are up to. I guess technically he's jealous; I told him he had nothing to worry about but he's still…agitated. Just to give you a heads up." A looked worried for a moment and then nodded at Mello.

"Okay, thanks." He said and then turned and hurried down the hall.

BB looked up as the door opened to see the blonde slowly peak his head into the room.

"Hey," he said as he began to come in, "I'm sorry I'm later than I thought I was going to be. I'm glad you ate dinner, when I realized how late I was I was worried you hadn't eaten." BB glanced at the dinner tray and nodded, fighting the urge to just grab A and make him tell him what was going on.

"I tried waiting for you but you never showed up. It must have been something incredibly important to keep you away this long," he answered instead and A nodded as he closed the door.

"Yes it was, and something that I've been dying to tell you but I didn't want to until I was sure it was working and I was doing okay. Promise you'll listen before you yell at me?" BB sighed and then sat down at the desk.

"Why would I yell at you unless it's something you know I won't like and if it's something you know I don't like, why would you do it?" A frowned and tried to prepare himself for the outburst he knew would happen.

"Well, it's something that I don't think you're going to like at first, but if you just listen you'll understand and I'm sure you'll like it." BB said nothing; he merely leaned back in the chair and continued to stare at A.

"Okay, here's what happening. After you took us out of the program, you know how down I was feeling right?" BB nodded but didn't change his expression. "So, I decided that I had to find something to do that would make me feel like I was bringing something to this relationship. I didn't like feeling like I was just this...this ball and chain around your leg. Something you had to constantly take care of and baby, a burden." BB rolled his eyes and sighed.

"You have never been a burden, I enjoy taking care of you," he smirked, "I'm seme it's what I'm supposed to do."

"Yea, well that's in bed you're seme. I don't want you to take care of me all of the time, it's important to me that I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile." BB nodded and uncrossed his arms, leaning forward in the chair.

"And?"

"And," A began fidgeting where he stood, locking and interlocking his fingers as he searched for the proper words, "I asked Lawliet if there was something I could do to help him and Light, without being part of the successor program." He became alarmed as he saw BB's eyes narrow into slits, saw the anger begin to cloud his features.

"But at first he told me there was nothing I could do," A continued rapidly, "And then he came up with the idea of assisting Light, that once they become well known and get lots of cases, Light would need a hand in some of the cases so I….I've been working with he and Light over the past few weeks and BB I've been doing really well! They like what I'm doing, they tell me I'm doing a really good job, I….I….I'm an asset and Mr. Wammy even he thinks I'm doing well! I really like detective work B, I really think I can do this for a career! I can be a real help to them, and really contribute something instead of feeling like all I do is take. I know you didn't want me working with Lawliet but can't you be happy that I'm doing well?"

"You've been going to see Lawliet behind my back?" BB asked, as if that was the only thing he heard, amazingly keeping his voice level. A nodded, relieved he wasn't been yelled at.

"Don't say it like that, I didn't tell you to defy you, I wanted to surprise you." A answered, "I wanted you to be proud of me and Lawliet understood and he…"

BB stood up and crossed the space between he and A. He grabbed A by his arms, the tight grip making A wince.

"Why did you go to him behind my back? Why didn't you just tell me that's what you wanted to do?"

"Because you wouldn't have let me! I wanted to surprise you…"

"I told you we were done with that ridiculous program didn't I? I told you we'd do something on our own. If you love detective work so much don't you think I would have made that happen for you? Why did you go to him?"

"I'm sorry BB, but I wanted to do it on my own! I wanted to feel like I was worth something! BB you 're hurting me!" BB growled and released his grip on A's arms, pushing him away.

"Why do you always think you have to prove something to me? Why can't you…"

"I wasn't proving it just to you, I was proving it to myself!" A yelled back clutching his arms where BB had grabbed him, tears began to roll down A's face, almost breaking BB's anger but not quite, "I did everything I possibly could to make it in that program, I even stopped taking my meds so I could think clearly and I still failed!"

"You did what?" BB had suspected but this was the first time it had been admitted.

"I stopped taking my fucking medicine!" A yelled back, "But Lawliet knew that and he insisted that I start taking it again before he let me start working with him so I did."

Now BB felt like a useless fool. He had prided himself on counting A's medication, watching him take it when it was time and yet he still managed to get past him. But not past Lawliet, no the almighty, all knowing Lawliet knew and even got him back to taking it again. No wonder Lawliet let him back in; not only could he hold this over BB, he could also boast about knowing he wasn't taking his meds and being the only one who got him back on them. He turned and went towards the door.

"Where are you going?" A asked and he stopped.

"To see Lawliet, he had no right to do this without talking to me."

"No right? It was my decision BB; I had the right to make this decision on my own. You constantly make decisions for me without bothering to ask me, just this once I did it on my own."

"And look what happened! I told you I made plans for us when we graduate, and it doesn't include working for Lawliet. He knows that, and he did this anyway, he took advantage of your…"

"My what, BB? My condition as you like to put it? If he did that he would never have allowed me back. Please BB why can't you just let me have this one thing, why can't you let me be proud of one thing?" BB sighed and walked back over to him, taking A's face in his hands.

"You don't need to prove anything to me A, or anyone else. How many times do I have to tell you that? You have many things to be proud of, working for my asinine brother doesn't have to be one of them, it means nothing. You're so much better than him, his little detective group, and everything thing else around him. If you want to feel proud that you got this far, then go ahead, I know how hard you must have worked and I'm proud of what you've done. But this is the end, you're done. This is all Lawliet's fault, he should have known better than to push your hopes up like this, he knew I wouldn't allow it. Now, get ready for bed it's late. I'll bring you a hot chocolate on the way back." He walked towards the door and then stopped when he heard A call his name. He turned to see the teen holding himself, sobbing quietly.

"Please let me do this BB, don't take this away from me," the teen begged between sobs. BB sighed and walked back over to him, wrapping his arms around him.

"I know it looks like I'm being a bastard now but if you think about it you'll know I'm right. I love you, it's my job to take care of you, not Lawliet," he moved him towards the bed and sat him down. He moved blonde hair from A's forehead and leaned forward to kiss it.

"Now get ready for bed, I'll be right back," BB said then released him and went out of the door.

A sat on the bed crying as he thought of what to do. He just couldn't keep living like this, always feeling he was a burden, never able to do anything without leaning on BB. BB was right; it was only a matter of time before he screwed something up and Lawliet would have to let him go again. He stopped crying and looked around the room; it was quite clear what the next step was, there really wasn't any choice. He loved BB too much to keep him saddled to someone who was as pathetic as he was. His eyes finally rested on BB's dinner tray.

With every step he took towards the staircase, BB became more and more angry. Leaving A crying like that was the last thing he wanted to do, but this was all Lawliet's fault and he wanted him to know right now what he'd done and that he was never to deal with A again.

Lawliet was not completely surprised when he heard his name yelled on the other side of the door before it flew open revealing a very angry twin on the other side.

"I imagine A has told you about our arrangement then?" he asked in a monotone that just infuriated his brother even more. BB crossed the room and was on him in a flash, dragging him out of his chair.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing bringing him into this bullshit again?!" he yelled.

"I did nothing but accommodate his request, BB. He's not a child he can make his own decisions whether you want to believe it or not. Now I suggest you let go while you still can."

"Or what Lawliet? Oh, excuse me…L? What are you…" before he could finish he found himself flying across the room, lying on the floor by the door, propelled by the bottom of Lawliet's foot.

"I'm not the push over I used to be Beyond, I've told you that before. Why don't you simply admit that A is not as needy as you wish him to be and allow him to grow?"

"A doesn't need to grow, he's fine as he is," BB said pulling himself up, and running back to Lawliet, "Leave him alone!" he swung at Lawliet connecting with his mouth and making him stagger backwards. BB took that moment to try to leap onto him, only to find himself facing Lawliet's foot again; this time against his face, snapping his head back and throwing him down to the ground. He recovered quickly leaping up and rushing Lawliet, knocking the air out of him and slamming him into the wall.

Suddenly from behind them Lawliet's door flew open again and within moments there was a hand on BB's collar pulling him up from atop of Lawliet.

"That is enough Beyond!" Wammy's voice echoed through the apartment startling both boys as neither could remember ever hearing him speak that loudly.

"What is the meaning of this behavior?" he demanded as he released Beyond.

"He is upset that I have allowed A to join us in the new capacity that he has. He doesn't believe he can handle it." Lawliet answered.

"He can't handle it, and he knows it," Beyond seethed, "He's going to destroy him! I'll kill you if anything happens to him Lawliet, I'll kill you…"

"The only person who's going to destroy Alexander is you, Beyond" Wammy said startling the boy into silence.

"What do you mean?" BB asked him, "I love A I'm trying to protect him!"

"Are you really, Beyond? Or are you trying to protect yourself? If you allow Alexander to be strong and stand on his own, you fear he'll need you less. In reality, you're breaking him by not allowing him to feel he's worth anything. I suggest you get back to him and tell him that you are proud of what he's doing, and that for a change you support him in something he's doing. That's what he wants from you Beyond, your support, not your crippling protection." Beyond stared at the older man and for a moment he believed he might be right. Then he shook his head and turned his stare back to Lawliet.

"I will still kill you if you cause A any problems, Lawliet," he warned then turned and ran out of the room. Wammy walked over to Lawliet and checked him over as the teen wiped blood from his mouth.

"You're not hurt?" the teen shook his head as he stared after his brother.

"How did you know he was here?" he asked and Wammy chuckled.

"Knowing how volatile this situation was, I installed cameras in here so that I could keep an eye on you. I expected this to happen." Lawliet nodded and then stopped as an embarrassing thought hit him.

"There are cameras in here? Where? How long have you been watching?" Wammy laughed at the sudden panicked look on the boy's face.

"Don't worry, there are none in the bedroom and when I see Light come in I turn off the monitors. It is only for your protection when you are alone, not for voyeurism, I assure you. Now, let me clean that cut and put ice on it before it swells." He said pushing the boy towards the bathroom.

BB's mind was racing with what Wammy had said. What if he really was holding A back unconsciously? He didn't think he was, he really was worried that if he took on too much it would make him backslide again; it wasn't because he wanted power over A. He ran over in his mind their conversation before he left for Lawliet's room, how broken A seemed to be over it. He picked up his pace and ran for his room.

"What's up?" Matt asked looking up from his game when he saw Mello getting up from behind the desk and heading for the door.

"Just want to check on BB and A," he answered, "Just want to make sure he hasn't done anything stupid." Matt chuckled and began to put away his game.

"It would be BB if he didn't' do something stupid. This would be so much easier if they'd just allow us to use our cell phones," he grumbled. "I'll come with you in case you need someone to run interference." Mello nodded his agreement as he opened the door.

"A?" BB called as he opened the door to their room, "I'm sorry I.." he stopped when he saw the scene in front of him. At first all he could see was blood spreading across the floor. As if in slow motion his eyes moved to where it was coming from, finding a bloody knife lying on the floor by the side of the bed. Above the knife on the bed was A, one arm dangling over the side of the bed, blood pouring down it from his slashed wrist, and dripping to the floor.

With a scream of his name, BB ran across the room, pulling A into his arms, seeing with horror that A's chest was covered in blood, his other arm draped across it also slashed and pouring blood.

He screamed his name over and over, shaking him to get some kind of response but getting none. He held the lifeless body against him and cried his name over and over until he felt his mind snap with grief. This was all Lawliet's fault; if he hadn't given A that job, A wouldn't be dead right now. He gently lay A back onto the bed, leaned forward and kissed him gently, bent down and picked up the knife, then ran out of the door.

Matt and Mello were just a little way down the hall when they heard the scream. They looked at each other then quickly ran the rest of the way to BB's room in time to see him running out covered in blood, screaming Lawliet's name.

"BB! What the hell!" Mello ran forward to catch up with BB as Matt looked into the room.

"Mello! Look!" Matt screamed and ran into the room. Mello stopped and turned around, running into the room and not believing what he saw.

"Oh my God A!" he said and Mello ran in behind him, nearly sliding in the blood. He reached down and touched A's neck feeling for a pulse; it was weak but it was there. Matt reached up and grabbed the pillow cases off of the bed, rolling them up lengthwise and tying them around A's wrist.

"That should stop the flow until we can get him to the infirmary. The way BB was running out of here he must have thought he was dead," Matt said and then looked at Mello.

"Mello he was screaming Lawliet's name, you better get up there! I'll get help to get him to the infirmary but you better stop BB!"

"Jesus Christ!" Mello turned and ran out of the room, knocking into students who had heard the screaming and came to see what had happened. Matt pulled A from the bed and turned to the students.

"Someone get over here and give me a hand before he bleeds to death!"

BB flew up the stairs in a haze of hate and anguish. Lawliet…Lawliet did this; took away the one thing he had. It wasn't enough he took his mother, he had to have A too and now A was dead. His fingers wrapped around the knife tightly in his hand, and soon he would be dead too.

Light made his way to Wammy's apartment after extricating himself from Misa's grip at her room door. He told her he wanted to use the phone in Wammy's office to place a call to his father and she immediately thought it had something to do with getting her ring so she practically pushed him away. In reality he wanted to talk to Wammy about what he could do if something went wrong before his 18th birthday and his father tried to pull him out ahead of time. He loved Lawliet and there was no way he was going to be separated from him now so he wanted a plan in place.

"Thanks for seeing me off course, Mr. Wammy," he said when he walked in.

"My door is always open to you Light, you know that," the older man told him, "Can I get you some coffee or tea?" Light nodded as he walked over to the desk with all the monitors on them.

"Coffee would be great thanks," he said as he looked them over, "Are these for an upcoming study period?" Wammy smiled as he prepared a tray.

"No, actually they're hooked up to cameras in Lawliet's apartment. You can turn them on."

"Lawliet's apartment? Why?" Light asked as he flipped them on.

"Let's say I'm concerned about Lawliet's safety, now and in the future. As a matter of fact they've already proven their usefulness."

"You don't have them on all the time do you ?" Light asked not liking the smirk that suddenly graced Wammy's face.

"I turn them off if I see anything…provocative shall we say? And there aren't any in the bedroom." He answered offering the coffee and setting the tray onto the desk. Light blushed and looked away as he took the cup.

"Oh that's….that's good to know," he said and then smiled, "I think it's a good idea."

"Yes, and as I said they've already proven it's worth, as I saw BB attacking Lawliet earlier and was able to stop it before it got any worse. Apparently A told him about our arrangement and he was none too thrilled about it." Light sighed and sipped his coffee.

"Well, we knew he wouldn't be, but we hoped he might listen if A told him instead of Lawliet. He didn't hurt him did he?" he smiled as the monitors showed Lawliet sitting at his desk as usual, fingers flying across the keyboard, as well as other areas of the apartment; the kitchen, the front door, the living room in various angles.

Wammy shook his head and smiled and headed to the main room.

"No, he didn't, Lawliet was holding his own quite well. My stepping in probably saved BB more than it did Lawliet." Light laughed and followed Wammy over to the main room.

"So do you understand the consequences in defying your father should the situation arise?" he asked as he moved papers on the table and pushed them towards Light.

"Yes, I understand. I'm afraid that if I keep pushing away the date of giving Misa that ring, he's going to start making noises and threats and I need to know that I have a leg to stand on."

"If you become an English citizen, then he will have no jurisdiction over you as the age of majority is younger here than in Japan, but it does mean giving up your Japanese citizenship and everything that entails." Light nodded.

"I know, and believe me I've thought about it, but nothing is more important to me than Lawliet and whatever I have to do to ensure that I can stay with him I'll do." Wammy smiled and pulled out a pen and began to sign the papers in front of him.

"Here when I finish signing, you start signing and I'll get us some more coffee," Light nodded but then stood up, taking Wammy's cup.

"No let me get it while you sign," he said and walked back over to the desk. As he poured the coffee he glanced up at the screens and froze. Lawliet's door flew open revealing a very bloody and frightening looking BB, a knife in one hand. He dropped everything and ran across the room and out of the door.

"Light?" Wammy looked up startled at the sound of breaking glass and saw Light running out of the door. He stood up and ran over to screens and was horrified by what he saw. He picked up the phone and punched numbers hurriedly.

"Roger, get security up here to Lawliet's apartment and medical, just in case and for God's sakes hurry." He then dropped the phone and ran out of the room.

Lawliet turned at the sound of his door opening again and stared at the sight in front of him. BB crept towards him, his face and clothing smeared with blood, a bloody knife in one hand.

"You couldn't leave him alone could you L?" BB told him as he got closer, his voice not far above a whisper, "You see all this blood…it's A's. He's dead and it's your fault and now I'm going to kill you!"

"A's dead? What happened to him BB what did you do?" Lawliet asked moving away from his desk.

"You happened, you made him kill himself! I told you he couldn't handle it, I told you!" BB screamed at him and then suddenly bolted forward, holding the knife high in the air.

"BB STOP!" Light screamed as he flew through the door making BB stop dead.

"Light get out of here!" Lawliet yelled terrified for Light's safety. BB turned, the smile on his face wide and frightening.

"No..this is even better!," he said moving towards Light, "You took A away from me, now I'll take Light away from you !" He then ran to Light, brandishing the knife and laughing.

"No!" Lawliet screamed running to catch him, throwing himself on top of him bringing him to the floor. Light moved to help him just as BB managed to throw Lawliet off of him and lashed out with the knife, slashing Light's chest. Light cried out grabbing his chest and fell backwards as blood poured between his fingers. Lawliet screamed his name, jumping up and running in front of B, over to Light and covering him with his own body to save him from anymore harm from BB.

"Run Lawliet, get out of here!" Light yelled trying to push him off and Lawliet shook his head, then cried out as BB sank the knife into his back, still laughing. Lawliet collapsed and fell onto a screaming Light.

"Both of you, I got both of you!" BB screamed pulling the knife out just as Wammy and Mello both ran into the room.

"Aw fuck BB what have you done!," Mello cried and then turned to Wammy, "I'll get the knife from BB you go check on Light and Lawliet," Mello told him and began to move towards his friend.

"Lawliet.." Wammy cried when he got to them. He pulled Lawliet from atop a hysterical Light, when he realized that Light had also been cut.

"I tried to stop him, I tried…Lawliet…" Light cried and Wammy nodded.

"I know you did, Light no one could have done more." Wammy answered trying to check both boys' wounds.

"I got them both, I got them both!" BB chanted and then looked up to see Mello coming towards him. Mello shook his head and continued to walk towards him, his hands outstretched.

"BB I know why you did this, but you were wrong. A isn't dead, he was still alive when I left him on his way to the infirmary. Please…give me the knife before you hurt someone else!" BB stared at him as if he couldn't understand what he said.

"A…is alive?" he asked as Mello got closer, "A's not dead? He's not dead?"

"No…no BB he's alive and when he gets better he's going to need you. Please…please give me the knife!" BB shook his head as tears began to roll down his face.

"No…I held him…he wasn't breathing…blood…so much blood…he's dead…he's dead…he's dead Mello…" he wrapped his arms around himself and began sobbing hysterically, the knife dropping from his hand. Mello ran to him, kicking the knife out of his reach and holding him.

Security and medical both arrived at the same time, stunned for a moment trying to take in the carnage in front of them, but only for a moment. The attendants ran to Light and Lawliet, as Mello gestured for security to come to him.

"I got them both Mello, I got them both. A is dead and I got them both…" whispered as security took him from Mello's arms.

"A is alive BB, I promise you A is alive," Mello said, his voice cracking as he watched his best friend carted off, numb with the horror of everything that had happened.

"Mello? My God what the hell?" he looked up to see Matt forcing his way into the room. An unconscious Lawliet was being carried out alongside a hysterical Light, Wammy at their sides. There was blood all over the floor, and Mello stood in the middle, smeared with the blood that had been on BB. He ran to the blonde and took him in his arms, just as Mello collapsed into tears.


	17. Chapter 17

Metamorphosis 17

 

When Light opened his eyes it only took him a few moments to fight through the fog in his mind and remember what had happened and where he had to be. He tried to sit up and grimaced in pain, his hand reaching up to his chest, feeling bandages and soreness. 

This wasn’t the infirmary, this was a real hospital and that made sense, but where was Lawliet? What had happened to him? His mind reran seeing BB sink the knife into the teen’s back after Lawliet had thrown himself on top of him to protect him. He heard him cry out and then fall lifeless on top of him, Light then wrapping his arms around him and all the blood. He couldn’t tell what was his and what Lawliet’s but just that there was so much of it. But where was he, he had to find him, to make sure he was okay.

“Lawliet!” he cried out and tried to climb out of the bed, “Lawliet!” 

“It’s important you remain still,” Light looked up at the quiet voice and gentle pressure on his shoulder, surprised to see Near seated at his bedside.

“Near? What’s going on, where’s Lawliet?” he demanded, his eyes wide with panic.

“Lawliet is currently in surgery,” the white haired teen answered, “Wammy asked me to sit with you so that he could stay with him so you would not awaken alone.”

“Surgery?” Light asked and put both hands in his hair in an attempt to keep calm.

“According to Wammy there was internal bleeding, it was a fairly deep knife wound, BB drove it as far as he could in his anger and pulling it out just as violently, which was when the most damage was done...” He stopped when he saw Light shudder and tried unsuccessfully to stop a sob. Perhaps now was not the time for details.

“However, they don’t believe any organs were damaged, they’re sure Lawliet’s going to be fine once they stop the bleeding.” Light nodded then looked up at Near.

“How long has he been in, how long have I been unconscious?” he asked.

“It’s only been about an hour; when you came in you were rather…upset and they couldn’t even treat you because you kept trying to get off the bed to get to Lawliet. They had to knock you out, before you made your own wounds worse. At least that’s what Wammy told me when I arrived, by the time I got here you were already treated and in bed.”

Light had cloudy memories of being held down, of seeing a lifeless Lawliet on the next stretcher until they moved him to another area and that’s when he remembered losing it. He didn’t know where they were taking him, he was afraid Lawliet was dead. Tears continued as he relived what happened, of seeing a BB he almost didn’t recognize run at Lawliet with the knife. 

“What happened? Why did BB attack like that? We knew he’d be angry over A working with us, but to kill us?” he asked and Near sighed, fingers going to the white hair and twirling furiously.

“From what I understand, it was because he thought A was dead. A tried to kill himself when BB blew up at him about it,” Near said. Light stared at him in horror, shaking his head in disbelief.

“What? How?” he asked.

“Cut his wrists with a knife,” Near answered matter-of-factly, “BB found him and thinking he was dead, he blamed Lawliet and went after him. Luckily Mello and Matt found A before he bled out, and right now both he and BB are in the psychiatric ward. Mello is there to see what’s going to happen with him and of course Matt’s with Mello. That’s why Wammy called me, he didn’t want you alone and everyone else is…elsewhere.” 

Suddenly the entire situation completely overwhelmed Light and he dissolved into uncontrollable tears. It was all too much, unbelievable and more than he could handle right now. He reached up and clutched at his chest, pain adding to everything else now. But more than anything else he wanted to see Lawliet, he had to be okay.

“Maybe you should lie down,” Near said getting off of the chair and helping Light to do so, “Let me see if I can get you something to drink, and tell them that you are in considerable pain and you could use something that might help.” He added, not sure exactly what else to do to make Light feel better. He also felt that maybe Light needed some time to himself to try to deal with everything that had happened. He walked to the door of the room and walked out…immediately being smacked into by a running blonde.

“Near! Were you visiting my Light? Is he alright?” Near frowned at the high pitch of her voice but managed to nod.

“He is physically healing, emotionally that will take some time I imagine,” he said not moving from in front of the door as she tried to get past him, “But he is in need of rest and does not need company.” He added.

“I am not company, I am his fiancé; he needs me!” she argued and tried to get past him.

“While that may be true, what he needs most is to rest,” Near said, knowing that Light in his condition right now would not welcome a visit from her.

“I’m not going to bother him, I just need to see if he’s okay,” Misa argued, “I can’t believe what happened!” she added as he eyes filed with tears, “I always knew BB was strange but he tried to kill him! I have to see him, I have to!” she cried and tried to push Near aside.

“MISS AMANE!” a voice boomed behind her, making her turn around startled. Wammy was walking towards them, the expression on his face far from pleasant.

“This is a hospital, you will lower your voice and behave accordingly,” he told her.

“I’m sorry but I have to see Light!” she pleaded but Wammy would have none of it.

“I understand your desire to see him, but this may not be the appropriate time,” he turned to Near, “Is he awake?” Near nodded.

“Yes, but not for very long. He is in some pain, but mostly he’s worried about…”he stopped and caught himself, “Anyone else who might have also been hurt.” He said., “I was going to the desk to see about getting him something to drink, and to let them know he was in a considerable amount of pain.”

“I imagine he would be,” Wammy said and turned his gaze back to Misa, “I will go in and check on him. If he wishes to see you I will come back and get you, you will remain here until do, is that understood?” 

“Why did he get to be in there then?”, she demanded pointing at Near, “He’s only his roommate, I’m his fiancé!” 

“Because I asked him to as I was unable to be here and I didn’t want him alone. Now please do as I ask.” Misa nodded and stepped away from the door.

“He’s quite upset.” Near said to the older man as he went to the door. Wammy nodded and gently placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Thank you, I imagined he would be,” he said and went inside. Light turned at the sound of the door and tried to sit up, making Wammy move to him faster to stop him.

“Don’t do that Light, you have many stitches, you don’t want to break them,” he said gently laying him back down.

“Lawliet...how’s Lawliet, where is he? Is he okay?” Light cried and Wammy nodded.

“That’s why I’m here, his surgery is over and he did very well. He is currently in recovery and they will be bringing him here shortly and you can see for yourself.” Light nodded but continued to cry.

“I tried to stop him Wammy, but Lawliet jumped on me…”

“I know you did Light, you did all you could. Right now just concern yourself with getting better,” he glanced towards the door, “I know you probably don’t wish to see her at this moment, but Misa is waiting to see you.” At first Light shook his head and then thought better of it. If he said no she would probably make some kind of scene and he definitely didn’t want that.

“Okay, but for just a few minutes,” he said wiping his eyes; “I’ll be okay with it for just a few minutes.” Wammy nodded and patted his arm.

“I’ll stay and make sure she doesn’t get out of hand.”” he said and went to the door.

“You may come in now, but for only a few minutes Misa, he is very tired,” he told her. She nodded and practically ran past him, stopping at the foot of the bed and covering her mouth with her hands. Light looked very pale, his eyes closed and in obvious pain. She looked at the IV bag and monitor connected to him and shook her head. How could something so awful happen at the school, and to Light? She walked over to the side of the bed and sat down in the chair, reaching forward and taking Light’s hand. She didn’t notice Wammy walking in behind her, standing at the door.

“Light?” she said and he opened his eyes to look at her, bracing himself.

“Hey, Misa,” he said and she reached out and touched his face.

“I can’t believe this happened to you,” she said as tears fell down her face, “When they first told me I thought…I thought you were dead!” Light shook his head and tried to smile.

“Well, I’m not, I’m going to be okay Misa so don’t worry.” He answered.

“How did this happen Light? What were you doing with BB that would make him want to hurt you like this?” 

“He wasn’t after me, he was after Lawliet,” Light said trying to sit up, then thinking better of it, “I was trying to stop him.” 

“You should have left them alone, they’re brothers, if you had let them fight it out you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”

“I couldn’t do that, Misa,” he said, “BB would have killed him.” Misa practically snorted her indifference to that idea.

“It wouldn’t have bothered me at all, if that meant you wouldn’t have been hurt.” Light’s eyes flashed in anger.

“It would have bothered me!” he snapped and then looked away, “I’m tired Misa, please leave me alone.” 

“You can sleep if you want to, I’ll just stay here and watch you in case you need anything.” She offered and Light shook his head.

“No, that’s okay, I’m fine. I just would rather be alone right now,” he said, trying to keep the tears he could feel burning his eyes from falling again. Wammy moved forward and touched Misa’s shoulder.

“I think you should do as he says Misa, he’s been through quite a lot and if he‘d rather be alone right now, I believe that would be best.” She nodded then leaned forward and kissed Light’s forehead.

“Okay, but I’ll be back later to check on you. Would you like me to call your family for you?” she asked and Light shook his head almost violently.

“No! I’ll call them later, I don’t want them to worry,” he said as she stood up.

“Okay, if you think…” she stopped as the door to the room opened, and a stretcher was pushed into the room accompanied by a nurse and an orderly. She gasped as she saw who was on the stretcher. “What’s he doing coming in here?” she asked and Light fought to sit up. 

“Lawliet!” he cried and tried to move from the bed. Wammy came to him and pushed him back down.

“Lie down Light, you‘ll open your wounds!” he warned, also watching as the stretcher was moved to the other side of the room.

“But I have to see him, I have to see he’s alright!” Light pleaded, allowing the tears to fall now.

“Light don’t worry about him, you have to worry about yourself!” Misa told him and he turned on the girl.

“Get out Misa, get the hell out!” he yelled at her, startling her with his ferocity.

“I suggest you leave now Misa,” Wammy told her and she burst into tears and ran out of the room. Light struggled against Wammy as he watched the nurse set up Lawliet’s monitor, his IV and what appeared to be a bag of blood.

“Light be still! I will go over and talk to the nurse, but you have to stay in bed, do you understand?” Wammy told the boy. Light stopped fighting and nodded slowly. Wammy let go of him and moved to Lawliet’s bed. He reached down and moved hair from the front of his face tenderly before speaking to the nurse. She told him he was doing well, in and out of sleep right now, but he had awakened long enough for them to check him and make sure he came through the operation fine. They were giving him a little more blood as he had lost quite a bit before and during surgery, but they felt he would be fine after this pint. She started to close the curtain between his bed and Light’s and Wammy shook his head, explaining they were very close friends and it wouldn’t be necessary. She nodded and both she and the orderly left the room after making sure Lawliet was set. Wammy turned to look at Light and saw him reach for Lawliet. He walked back to Light’s bed and pushed it closer to Lawliet’s so the boy could reach him. He watched as Light gently touched Lawliet’s arm, his face and then finally running his fingers through his hair. He pulled Lawliet’s hand from under the blanket and Light took it, holding it tightly in his. 

“He’ll be fine Light, don’t worry,” Wammy assured him. “I’ll return shortly, I need to see to Alexander and Beyond, there is much to be done for them.” He said and Light nodded absently, his eyes never leaving Lawliet.

Wammy left the room, told Near to check on him in a few minutes to make sure he stayed in bed, then made his way to the psychiatric ward.

Matt decided to leave Mello alone with BB for the moment while he went to check on A. BB was heavily sedated at the moment anyway, and strapped to the bed so he couldn’t move even when he did wake up. Mello sat at his bedside determined to be there when he woke up. He told Mello what he was going to do and Mello agreed it would be a good idea, and to let him know how he was so he could tell B when he finally woke up. Matt also told him he’d bring him coffee and something to eat and Mello nodded, squeezing Matt’s hand before he left.

Matt made his way to A’s room and was surprised to find him awake. The boy was staring at his bandaged wrists and then dropped them to his sides; tears running down his face.

“Hey,” Matt said quietly as he walked into the room, “You wanna stop scaring us like this?” he said as he neared the bed.

“I’m sorry,” A said in almost a whisper, “It wasn’t supposed to be this way, I wasn’t supposed to wake up. Jesus Matt, I can’t even kill myself right.” He cried, covering his eyes with a bandaged arm.

“That’s a good thing,” Matt said pulling a chair to the side of the bed and sitting down, “Believe me, you did a good job; it was just lucky that Mello and I found you when we did or you would have succeeded. We’re glad we were there, A, you mean a lot to us. You know what you mean to BB.” A shook his head and looked away.

“No, I don’t know what I mean to BB anymore. Especially now, after what I’ve done and I didn’t even get it right. I don’t know if I can ever face him again, I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just didn’t know what else to do, he was so mad at me. I just keep fucking everything up!”

“Don’t worry about that A, just work on getting better, BB wants you to get better.” Matt answered and A turned to look at him.

“Then where is he? If he isn’t angry with me, and done with me, why isn’t he here?” A asked. Matt sat back and ran a hand through his hair. He knew he couldn’t tell A right now what had happened; he was dealing with enough guilt and if he knew BB had gone on a rampage because of what he’d done…

“He got really upset when he found you, and he’s just getting himself together, that’s all. Give him some time, he still loves you A.” He finally answered and A nodded his understanding.

“Tell him I’m sorry Matt, I’m really sorry,” A cried and turned away from him again. Matt stood up and squeezed A’s arm.

“I will, but I’m sure he already knows that. Look, you need your rest, I’m gonna go and find Mello, he’s with BB right now. You just work on getting your shit together so you can come back. It’s gonna be okay.” He sighed and turned to walk out of the room; this entire thing was such a cluster fuck he almost didn’t know which way to turn next. He wanted to see how Light and Lawliet were doing, but he also didn’t want to leave Mello alone for too long. As he walked out of the room he saw Wammy coming towards him.

“Wammy…how are Light and Lawliet?” he asked meeting him halfway. 

“Light is doing well, many stitches but he’ll heal. Lawliet is out of surgery and has been moved to the same room as Light, when I left he wasn’t completely awake yet but they foresee no problems in his recovery now that they’ve stopped the bleeding,” Matt noted that the older man was beginning to look very tired and he felt very badly for him, cleaning this mess up was going to be next to impossible, not to mention knowing how he felt about Lawliet.

“Well, at least they’re going to be okay,” Matt answered and then gestured behind him, “A’s awake, feeling incredibly down of course, but at least he’s aware that what he did was not the best idea. When I left Mello, BB was still out cold. What did they give him elephant tranquilizers?” he asked with a small grin. Wammy returned the grin and nodded.

“It certainly is almost as potent, he was a hard one to knock out. I’ll go check on him too in a few minutes after seeing to A. Then the next thing to do is deal with what comes next.”

“What will that be Wammy? Will BB have to go to jail? I know what he did was heinous but he wasn’t in his right mind, he was crazed with grief,” he asked almost afraid of the answer.

“That depends on many things Matt, and is something I have to wait and see how it works out. Thank you for checking on A.” He patted Matt’s arm and went into A’s room. Matt turned and headed back to BB’s room and Mello. He fully intended to get Mello to leave for a while and get something to eat. In the meantime he stopped by the cafeteria and got a couple of coffees before heading back to the room as he promised.

BB slowly opened his eyes, he was completely disoriented, he felt nauseous, and the room was swaying around him. He heard echoes in his head of screaming, some of it sounding like him, some of it sounding like others. He tried to lift his arm so he could rub his eyes and couldn’t move it. He began to panic, what was wrong, why couldn’t he move his arm, where was he…where was A…

“Hey calm down,” Mello told him reaching down and putting his hand on his chest. He could see the panic setting in the moment BB had opened his eyes, which were still alarmingly red, “You’re tied to the bed so you can’t hurt yourself, stop fighting it.” He said quietly. BB turned his head and stared at him, trying to put all of his jumbled thoughts together.

“Do you remember anything?” Mello asked him and he closed his eyes to try. A…where was A? If he was here, why was he here and where was…he suddenly cried out, struggling against the ties that held him down.

“A…A’s dead!” he cried, “He’s dead, he’s dead…” 

“No BB, he’s not dead. Matt and I found him, he’s here in the hospital, he’s going to be fine BB, A’s fine.” 

BB stared up at him not wanting to believe it, but Mello had never lied to him, and he wouldn’t do it now over something so important as this. But why was he tied to the bed, why? 

“Why am I tied down, Mello? I need to see A…get me out of this…” BB demanded and Mello shook his head.

“Think hard BB, what else do you remember besides A hurting himself? What happened after you found A?” BB stared at him blankly, then slowly his eyes registered that he did indeed remember what had happened next. His eyes opened wide in horror as he continued to stare at Mello. All he could remember was a red haze of fury and pain and then Lawliet crying out in front of him…and blood…and a knife…

“I killed Lawliet didn’t I?” he asked, “I tried to kill Light but I ended up killing Lawliet,” he looked away, “But it was his fault A tried to kill himself, if he hadn’t interfered…” he turned back to Mello and for a moment Mello saw the insane BB he had seen in Lawliet’s apartment, but then he was gone again, “I didn’t think, I just saw red, and the next thing I knew…I killed my brother...” 

“Lawliet’s not dead BB, neither is Light. But you hurt them both really badly and that’s why you’re tied down right now. You were also fighting everyone who was trying to help you once you got here.” Mello said as gently as he could. BB pulled against the straps and then cried out suddenly, a sound that was both full of rage and anguish. Almost immediately from behind Mello personnel came rushing in, one a nurse armed with what he could only guess was some sort of sedative. 

“BB stop! Calm down BB, please!” he begged his friend but either he wasn’t listening or he couldn’t. He got out of the chair and out of the way as they surround BB’s bed, turning and practically running out of the room into the hallway, and into Wammy’s arms as he arrived in front of BB’s door. Wammy looked over the teen’s shoulders and could see what was happening in the room. He put his arm around him and moved him further down the hall away from BB’s door.

He allowed the boy to cry against him, feeling the weight of his responsibility in all of this horror that had transpired. He knew BB as well as he knew Lawliet, he should have realized that his reaction to finding out about what A was doing could have been this volatile and not allowed it to happen without his knowledge. He knew Lawliet was concerned that A would have done something desperate if he hadn’t agreed to help, but it turned out that it happened anyway, along with so much worse. He also knew that L had a small perverse bit of enjoyment, knowing that he knew something that his brother didn’t; but he did ultimately want to help A. He had to find a way to help BB; and he didn’t believe locking him up behind bars was the way to do it. He owed him more than that; he owed them all more than that.

That was the sight that Matt walked down the hall to see, the commotion in BB’s room, and Mello crying in Wammy’s arms. He walked over to them and Wammy nodded, gently pushing Mello away from him.

“Matt’s here,” he said quietly, “I need to go and see what the situation is right now with Beyond. I think it would be a good idea if you two go back to the school now, it’s late and you need rest. There’s nothing else you can do here right now.” Mello nodded and moved away from Wammy going over to Matt as he wiped at his eyes with his arm.

“You didn’t forget my coffee,” he said trying to smile and Matt nodded.

“And I didn’t even stop for a smoke,” he said handing the coffee over, “Come on, let’s go, you can’t take much more of this.” He added taking Mello’s hand. The blond nodded and then looked down at himself; there was blood on his shirt and pants, “I definitely need to get out of these clothes.” Matt nodded and they walked down the hall and out of Wammy’s sight. 

The older man sighed and brought a hand up to his eyes; this certainly wasn’t what he had envisioned when he put all of this together, how could it have gone so wrong so horribly? He sighed again and walked into Beyond’s room.


	18. Chapter 18

Light had finally fallen asleep holding Lawliet’s hand while waiting for him to awaken completely. He had opened his eyes a few times, seemed to recognize Light, but then had gone back to sleep. Light began to wake up when he felt gentle pressure on his hand, a squeezing sensation, and sound of his name being whispered. 

“Light…Light please wake up…Light…”

He turned his head and opened his eyes, to see Lawliet’s wide ones looking back at him, dark with worry. He smiled and sat up slowly, squeezing Lawliet’s hand tightly.

“Oh my God you’re awake!” he said reaching across and touching the teen’s face. Lawliet nodded and leaned into the touch, a single tear sliding down his face.

“Light I’m so sorry, I tried to keep you from getting hurt, he was so fast…” Light shushed him and moved his hand back up to Lawliet’s hair.

“He was too much for both of us,” he said, “But we both made it anyway.” Lawliet leaned into his touch again.

“I’m sorry, I should have realized…” he grimaced slightly as he tried to move and then just stayed as he was.

“Lawliet how could you have known he’d go this far? I expected him to be angry, try to beat you up maybe, but not to try and kill you.” 

“If you hadn’t come running in like you did, he would have killed me,” Lawliet told him. Light shuddered involuntarily at the thought.

“I saw him come in on Wammy’s monitors, I didn’t even think I just ran,” he answered trying not to think about the moment BB’s knife had sunk into Lawliet’s back and when he thought he’d lost him, “How are you feeling now that you ‘re awake.” 

“There’s pain when I try to move, but I guess I’m okay,” L stared at him for a moment, the horrific minutes of BB’s attack also going through his mind, when he watched BB slash Light’s chest as if it were in slow motion, Light’s cry of pain and surprise, and the blood. He shuddered again, the fear that BB had killed Light rushing through him again. He felt Light squeeze his hand.

“We’re both going to be fine,” Light told him, “And we’ve barely two months until we don’t have to worry about Misa or my parents and all of this will be behind us. Lawliet, I love you.” He said squeezing his hand again.   
“I love you too Light, I’m so sorry you’re here because of me,” he said and Light shook his head.

“We’re both here because your brother went crazy, Lawliet. You couldn’t have known he’d react like this,” he squeezed his hand again and lay back down with a sigh, “Now let’s just concentrate on getting the hell out of here.” Lawliet nodded and smiled, his eyes closing in exhaustion. Light watched him go back to sleep, falling asleep himself within a few moments, his hand still clutching Lawliet’s.

Wammy sat at his desk, his fingers intertwined as he leaned on his desk. He was responsible for this incredible disaster; he knew BB and A were both difficult cases and yet he let them both go on without keeping them in check; and now he had almost more trouble than he could handle. This had to be done delicately, for the sake of Wammy’s as well as for those two troubled teens. The last thing he wanted was to see BB go to jail for this, he needed help not jail time. He had to hope that Lawliet and Light did not want to pursue charges, although they certainly had every right to do so. It would be difficult to keep this quiet and out of the news, but he knew he could do it. Although concerned about parental backlash, part of the contract they signed when admitting their children to Wammy’s was giving all rights to him in matters such as medical, mostly because most parents were difficult to find once they sent their children there for the school year. Because of this he had control over exactly what needed to be done for them without having to ask permission. If all worked the way he wanted, both A and BB would have extensive therapies and continue schooling via private tutor. If that were successful, they would be able to graduate with the rest of them. Light and Lawliet would probably need some as well to counteract the trauma of being attacked like that, and Lawliet for several reasons. 

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, having to deal with his own trauma of seeing Lawliet hurt so badly; the boy for all intents and purposes was the son he never had, and he bore the guilt of letting him and Light get so badly injured. He would make it up to them; he would make sure of it.

Matt sat outside finishing off what was probably his third cigarette since he’d been out there. It had been a week since BB’s attack on Light and Lawliet after A’s attempted suicide and he still couldn’t close his eyes without seeing blood everywhere. He hadn’t allowed it to bother him too much; he was concerned with keeping Mello together and so hadn’t been able to deal with what he’d seen himself. The whole thing had begun to churn up unhappy memories and the nightmares which had pretty much subsided since he’d been with Mello at school had come back. He looked down at his hands; they had begun shaking without warning, stopping only when he smoked which automatically would relax him. He smiled, right now they were fine, and he was sure they would be for a while now. Just as long as they stayed still so Mello didn’t see it and start worrying about him on top of everything else he was dealing with. 

 

He knew how much Mello was hurting too, having to deal with his best friends doing such heinous things, and their futures unsure to say the least. Keeping Mello together was the most important thing right now; he could deal with a few nightmares. Especially now that they were going to let A know what had happened, as BB kept begging to see him and A kept wondering why BB hadn’t come to see him yet. The doctors on both sides felt it would help both of their healing if they could see one another, and that was supposed to happen today and Mello was worried about how A would take knowing what BB did, especially since it was because of what he had done to himself. They were getting ready to go to the hospital with Wammy, to be there to see how everything went, and Mello was especially nervous because of it. 

The doctors felt that since A had great trust in Wammy, and he was the closest thing to family, he should be the one to tell him. Wammy had agreed, feeling great responsibility for what had happened in the first place, and had asked Matt and Mello to join him. Matt finished off the last cigarette and ground it under his heel. He’d left Mello getting dressed and figured he’d probably be done by now. He turned and walked back into the building, ignoring some of the stares he was still getting by the students who had been outside A’s door when they found him, not hearing the whispers as he walked by. It had lessened as the days went by, but there were still those who were still wondering exactly what had happened. Both he and Mello were excused from classes until they felt like going back so he didn’t have to deal with that scrutiny at least.

“Hey, you dressed yet?” he called as he opened the door to their room, “Wammy will be coming for us soon.” 

“Keep your dick on, I’m coming,” Mello called from behind him coming from the shower. “You nag worse than an old lady.” He complained. Matt laughed, glad to hear his sense of humor had returned.

“Sorry. I just know haw Wammy is and waiting is not his favorite thing,” he said leaning forward for a quick kiss, “Especially under the circumstances.” Mello kissed back and then sighed.

“Yea, I know. I’m not looking forward to this,” he said wrapping his hand around the rosary around his neck, “I don’t know how A’s gonna take it.” Matt nodded, moving his goggles up on top of his head.

“I know, but I think he’ll be okay once he sees BB and knows the guys are okay. This is all going to be okay though Mello, you have to believe that.” Mello nodded.

“I know, but it’s never going to be the way it was again. Who knows what’s going to happen to BB after this? Or A if they send BB away, he’ll never survive that. And as much as I love BB, what he did…he can’t just walk away from that.” 

“Mello don’t think like that, Wammy thinks it’ll be okay, they’ll just keep him at the hospital for a while. Temporary insanity brought on by extreme duress, isn’t that what he said? ,” He reached up and moved hair from the front of the blonde’s eyes, “Trust me, if anyone can make that work it will be Wammy, he has strange and eerie powers.” Mello chuckled and nodded.

“Yea, that’s true,” he said and took a deep breath, “Okay, let’s go.” He said grabbing Matt’s hand and going out of the door. Wammy was waiting for them in the driveway ad looked up smiling when he saw them coming.

“As you two are A’s closest friends I felt it would be good for you to be there for support as well,” he explained again, “I’m not sure what to expect when we tell him, but we will let him know he can see BB immediately if he wants and that should help him.”

“I’m glad we waited until they were able to stop tying him to the bed,” Mello remarked as they got into the car, “That would have not set well with him.”

“The drugs they’ve got him on keeps him pretty calm, except when he wants to see A,” Wammy assured him.

“Okay, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” Mello said as Wammy pulled out of the driveway. Matt smiled at him and took his hand.

“It’ll be okay, it might be a little rough, but it will be okay,” he assured him and Mello nodded, sitting back in the seat and leaning against him.

A was pacing in his room again, they had promised he’d see BB today, but they didn’t tell him what time he was coming. He could just imagine how upset BB had been when he did what he did. Now that his mind was working normally again, he realized what a stupid, stupid thing he’d done. It would serve him right if BB washed his hands of him completely, or if he was really angry. He assumed he WAS really angry and that was why he hadn’t visited until now. The first thing he would do was apologize, and beg him to forgive him. Maybe if he did that…he turned at the sound of his door opening, his heart beating wildly hoping to see BB. 

“Hey A!” Matt called out happily as he walked into the room, “You look awesome!” A sighed in disappointment but then smiled.

“Yes, thank you. New medication, I haven’t felt this…normal in a long time,” he watched as both Mello and Wammy walked in as well. “Well, everyone’s here except BB…where is he?”

“You ‘re going to see him very soon,” Wammy said soothingly, “but first we have to discuss a few things. Perhaps you should sit down.” He said gesturing towards A’s bed. A stared at him in confusion for a few moments but then did as he suggested, climbing back into his bed as Wammy pulled up a chair next to him. Both Matt and Mello came over to the bed as well, sitting down on either side of him.

“The reason BB hasn’t been able to visit you before now is because he hasn’t been well since you hurt yourself,” Wammy began.

“He’s been angry hasn’t he?” A asked nervously.

“No, he isn’t angry with you Alexander,” Wammy said, “But. the night that he found you in that condition…it upset him more than you could imagine. It is prudent to say that he snapped, completely lost himself. He had to find someone to blame your death on, because he thought you were dead, and of course because of the circumstances, he blamed Lawliet.”

A shook his head in disbelief. “I never thought about what I did would do to BB, all I could think about was stopping the pain I was in, just making it all stop,” he said looking away. Wammy reached out and placed a hand on the teen’s knee.

“Of course, when one is in such a deep state of depression as you were in, stopping the pain is all that is on one’s mind, you can’t blame yourself for that,” he told him. “However, it did affect BB horribly. He grabbed the knife that you had used and went to Lawliet’s apartment, intent on hurting him.” A nearly leaped off of the bed trying to get to Wammy as the horror of what BB had in his mind to do sunk in.

“He didn’t hurt Lawliet did he? He didn’t…he couldn’t have…killed him? Because of what I did?” he cried.

“Come on guy, sit back down,” Mello said to him soothingly, “BB didn’t kill Lawliet.” He told him. A nodded and sat back on the bed, his eyes never leaving Wammy’s.

“But he tried didn’t he Wammy, he tried to kill Lawliet because of me,” he said and Wammy nodded with a sigh.

“Yes Alexander he did. He gravely hurt Lawliet and also Light who tried to protect him. They are both on the mend here in the hospital on the third floor. They will both recover, but it was very close for Lawliet.” 

A nodded and covered his mouth with his hands to stop the sob he felt coming. Tears formed and fell as he realized what his actions had caused and the real reason BB hadn’t come to see him. He wrapped his arms around himself and rocked back and forth for a few moments, trying to calm himself.

“Is he in jail Wammy because of what he did? Is that why I haven’t seen him?” he almost whispered.

“No, he is also here at the hospital, not far from you. They know it was because of his mental state, and not something he’d do normally. He is being treated just as you are, but obviously he is in a more serious state than you are. He has been begging to see you since he knows you ‘re not dead, and now that you are better and on your feet we thought it would be a good idea for you to do so. But we had to tell you what the circumstances were, so you would be prepared, and we had to wait until we were sure you could handle the news.” 

A nodded again as tears rolled down his face. Matt reached over and rubbed his back to try to keep him calm.

“He’s doing really well now,” he told him, “He just really wants to see you.” 

“Light and Lawliet, god I’m so sorry Wammy,” A said finally looking up, “I didn’t think BB was really capable of hurting his own brother…”

“The BB we know wouldn’t really hurt him. Yes, they fought; there is a lot of animosity between them for several reasons, but to try to kill him…no that would never have happened without him being very ill. He was obviously dealing with issues himself that we simply didn’t see so you mustn’t blame yourself because you were also ill. Now, you get yourself together and we will take you to see BB, okay?” A nodded as he tried to get his tears under control. Wammy stood up and went to the door of the room where a nurse had been standing by just in case. He assured her that A was in control of himself and would be fine. He then turned and watched as A stood up with Matt and Mello flanking him. He then walked over to the older man and tried to smile.

“I’m okay, I’m ready to see him now, please Wammy.” He said. Wammy smiled and nodded, opening the door so they could leave.

When they got to BB’s room, A walked to the door first and peeked in. He saw BB sitting up in the bed, staring out of the window. The tv on behind him but he wasn’t watching it at all. A turned to look at the three behind him. 

“Please let me go in alone, we need to be alone right now, okay?” he asked. Wammy took a deep breath and then nodded. 

“Go ahead son, we’ll wait for you here,” Wammy said and A smiled gratefully. He turned and walked into the room quietly closing the door behind him.

“Hey BB,” he said quietly, “I’ve missed you.” BB’s head turned so quickly it almost made A laugh. In a flash he was off of the bed and running to the blonde, throwing his arms around him and holding him tightly against his body. He tried to talk but all he could do was cry. The last time he’d seen A he’d been covered in his own blood, lifeless, apparently dead. Now here he was, in is arms again, warm and breathing and his. A held him tightly, his own tears threatening as he heard BB sob against him. He ran his hand through BB’s hair and rubbed his back to help calm him.

“I thought you were dead, I was so afraid you were dead,” BB cried against his shoulder. 

“I’m okay, BB. I’m so sorry I did this to you, I wasn’t thinking right, I’m so sorry.” He apologized, his own tears running down his face. BB lifted his head to look at him, raised his hand to touch his face and wiping the tears.

“No don’t apologize. I made you do it, and I’m so sorry,” he said as tears continued to run down his face, “And once you hear what I did…I won’t blame you if you turn your back on me.” A shook his head and smiled.

“I know what you did BB, but it wasn’t you, like it wasn’t me who tried to kill myself. If anything I should apologize to you for putting you in the frame of mind to do something like this. BB I love you, I’m never going to leave you.” BB ran his fingers thru the blonde hair and nodded.

“I’m glad because I couldn’t live without you Alexander, just the thought drove me insane.” A could still see something wasn’t quite right in BB, something unsettling in his eyes, but he also saw the love he still had for him and that’s all he needed.

“Come on, let’s lie down and talk, we always did our best talking in bed,” he said as he walked with him towards the bed. They lay down together and A lay with his head on BB’s chest and it felt as if nothing had ever happened, that they were lying in their room and everything was just as it had been, and for the first time in a week they both felt whole.

Wammy watched the monitor from the nurse’s desk and sighed; it seemed they ‘d made the right decision. BB hadn’t been this calm since he’d been there, and A finally looked at peace with himself. He suggested that perhaps they should share a room from now on, that they would draw strength from each other, and the nurse said she would talk to their respective doctors about it in the morning.

Just as he turned to speak to Matt and Mello, he felt his phone vibrate and he answered it.

“Quil, you need to come back here as quickly as possible.” Roger’s voice told him.

“”Is something wrong?” he asked afraid of the answer.

“I have Soichiro Yagami in your office right now waiting for you. He’s demanding to be taken to see Light, and he wants him signed out of Wammy’s immediately.”


	19. Chapter 19

To all of my readers: Thank you so much for your profound patience and loyalty. This has been the longest time between chapters of my stories that I've ever done, and that was because of the death of my mother in November that completely sent me for a loop and I'm just now beginning to get back to myself. I did manage to get the last chapter of "Obsession" out and I am finally updating "Metamorphosis" as well. So now I feel I'm back on my game and updates should be at the least bi-weekly from now on.  
Thank you again, all my love and I hope you continue to enjoy!!  
===============================================================  
Metamorphosis 19

 

Wammy sighed heavily; he had been afraid this might happen when he had alerted the families to what had occurred. He had been unable to reach BB’s and Lawliet’s father, but had reached their mother who was out of the country but said she could get a flight out but wasn’t sure when; he had suggested it wasn’t necessary, he would keep her appraised of the situation and she agreed. She’d had no idea what to do with the situation, saying she was horrified that one son had attacked the other but relied on Wammy to handle it.

Soichiro Yagami had been livid, and he had every right to be, that such a thing had been allowed to happen in the first place; and had told him he would be there as quickly as possible. Wammy had hoped that since a week had already passed, perhaps he had changed his mind, but apparently that wasn’t the case.

“Please tell him I will be there immediately,” he told Roger and hung up. He looked at Matt and Mello, “Light’s father has arrived and is threatening to remove Light from the school; I daresay were I in his position I might demand the same. However, we know that ‘s not what Light wants. I’m going to let Light know that his father is here and will most likely be here to visit him shortly.” 

“Just what he needs right now,” Mello said shaking his head, “What do you want us to do now?” he asked. Wammy patted his shoulder.

“Why don’t you two just do something to relax; this has been extremely traumatic on you two as well,” he looked at Matt, “I imagine this has been difficult for you for several reasons.” Matt looked startled for a moment then sighed.

“I’m handling it, I’ll be okay,” he said trying not to look at Mello. Wammy nodded and smiled.

“Good, I’m glad,” he said and took a deep breath, “I’m going to talk to Light now, you may do as you wish, I thank you for your help today.” He said and walked towards the elevators. Mello turned and looked at Matt who was still looking at the floor, digging in his pocket for his game.

“I’m so sorry Matt, I’m such an idiot, I didn’t even think of what this would do to you, what it would dredge up in your mind,” he watched as Matt pulled out the game, wincing when he saw the game shake when he tried to turn it on. 

“It’s okay Mels, you had enough on your mind and I’m handling it okay,” Matt answered still not looking at him. Mello reached out and covered Matt’s trembling hands with his own.

“It’s not okay,” he answered, “And neither are you. You know you mean more to me than anything else, and it was stupid of me not to realize how this would affect you,” he moved him towards the elevator, “Right now we’re going to get out of here, get something to eat and just relax the rest of the day and stay the hell out of here. Okay?” Matt smiled and nodded as they got onto the elevator. 

“And everyone thinks you’re an asshole,” he said with a laugh just as the doors closed so no one saw Mello shove him against the wall.

Wammy made his way to Light and Lawliet’s room to find them both sitting up and having something to eat. Both of them had only been allowed to sit up within the past couple of days and were both sitting rather gingerly.

“It’s good to see the both of you up like this,” he said walking to them and immediately going to Lawliet, resting his hand on the boy ‘s shoulder, “How are you feeling son?” he asked. Lawliet smiled and nodded.

“Much better Wammy,” he said, “Now I just wish to get up and out of here.” 

“Not quite yet, you still have healing to do,” he said and turned to Light, “And you, how’s the pain today?” Light nodded with a smile.

“It’s next to nothing now,” he said happily, “My injuries weren’t as bad as Lawliet’s, not as deep. They’ve even said that scar will fade to almost nothing.” Wammy nodded then pulled a chair and sat next to him.

“Light, your father has decided to make an appearance,” he said with a sigh, “So it’s good you’re doing so well, I’m sure it will ease his mind.” Light stopped eating, putting the fork down and pushing the food away.

“I was afraid of this,” he sad sadly, “He wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say when I called him, he just…did what he usually does.” 

“I can’t blame him for being concerned this was a terrible, terrible thing to have happened,” Wammy said, “I am responsible for the well being of every student and this should never have taken place,” he reached over and patted Light’s hand. “We have our trump card, however, so if he does try to demand to remove you, it won’t happen unless you agree.” Light looked over at Lawliet and shook his head.

“I’m not going anywhere without Lawliet,” he said defiantly, “And I have no problem telling my father that.” Wammy stood up from his chair.

“I know,” he said, “I must go and meet with him now, and I’m sure he will want to see you immediately, so be ready. I will also be here, of course,” he turned to Lawliet, “If you wish we can move you out of here, I daresay he won’t be pleasant towards you, and you don’t need all of this excitement.” Lawliet shook his head.

“I’m not running away,” he said smiling at Light, “I’m going to stay here for Light, how would it look if I’m not here to support him? I’ve put up with Misa’s visits, this will probably be easier to take!” Wammy nodded and smiled at him.

“I suspected as much,” he said, “Which is another reason why I shall be here,” he moved towards the door, “I’m quite proud of both of you, you’ve been through so much and you still stand by each other and at such a young age. I have no doubt we will succeed in everything.” He then walked out of the door. 

Lawliet moved his table and pushed himself from the bed, crossing the small space between his and Light’s bed slowly before Light could stop him. He sat down next to him, taking Light’s hand and squeezing it as he leaned forward and kissed his lips.

“We’ve survived this attack, we’ll survive your father,” he said after kissing him.

“I know, but just remember whatever he says doesn’t matter, he can’t change my mind. I love you, and that’s not going to change.” Lawliet nodded.

“I know, but I’m sure he’s not going to like what he hears and I don’t want you to take anymore abuse than you have to because of me. You can tell him what he wants to hear, deny we have a relationship, if it’ll get him off your back and gets him to leave. I know the truth, and I know I’ll have you when he’s gone.” Light shook his head vehemently before smiling back at Lawliet.

“I’m so tired of hiding you, denying what I feel for you, I can’t lie anymore Lawliet, I just can’t.” he said and Lawliet squeezed his hand

“You know whatever you decide I’m behind you,” he said and leaned against him, “The other big question right now is what do we do about BB, send him to jail or an institution.” Light sighed and shook his head.

“He’s not a murderer, he’s just sick,” he answered, ”A is everything to him and he just snapped when he thought he was dead,” he looked at L, “I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you like that, I’d probably lose my mind too, so I can’t hold that against him, really. I’m not saying he should just walk away but prison, with the kind of people who are there? No, he doesn’t deserve that.” L nodded his agreement.

“I agree,” he sat up and looked at Light, making a decision to tell him everything. “Sending him to prison will only make him a monster, he needs help. As I am also responsible for what happened, I can’t let him suffer in jail because I set it in motion.” Light shook his head.

“What are you talking about? You didn’t do anything…” he began and L shook his head.

“I gave A the job knowing full well that BB would be furious and I have to admit that was part of the appeal; having something over BB, something that I knew would infuriate him. I told him I wasn’t going to tell BB about it, that he had to and that was wrong. It’s not that I didn’t want to help A, that was definitely part of it, but it was also my own stupidity and childishness. I am as much to blame for all of this as BB is, and I’m so sorry you got hurt because of me.” He turned away and began to get up from the bed, not sure of how Light was going to take what he told him. As he moved slowly from the bed he felt Light grab his arm.

“Lawliet, it’s okay. You didn’t know he’d get violent, although it was extremely foolish to bait him like that. You also didn’t know that A was going to try to kill himself that was what made BB snap to such extremes. Otherwise he probably would have just tried to beat the hell out of you again,” he ran a hand through his hair, a slight look of annoyance on his face, “ For someone as brilliant as you are that was a pretty stupid move, Lawliet. You had to know BB would turn on you, no matter what did or didn’t happen.” 

“I know that now, and I guess I knew it then I just…but I did really want to help A, you weren’t there when he was begging me to help him, to give him something to do so he’d be proud of himself. It wasn’t entirely a selfish act, if I had thought for just a moment it would blow up in my face like this and hurt you too…I would have thought of something else, handled it differently. I’m so sorry, Light.” Tears began to fall as he continued to look away. Light nodded and pulled the upset teen against him.

“I know you didn’t expect this, I don’t think anyone could have predicted this. There’s no point in beating yourself up over it now, you almost paid with your life I think that’s enough,” he soothed then he leaned back against the bed, bringing Lawliet with him so that they were lying together, Lawliet in his arms.

“Right now we just have to worry about getting past Dad’s visit and then getting out of here,” he said kissing Lawliet’s forehead. I still love you if that’s what you’re worried about.” He added with a chuckle.

“Maybe just a little,” Lawliet said meekly then buried his head against Light’s neck, “I love you, and I’m so sorry.”

“I know,” Light answered and kissed the top of the messy hair, “I love you too, that’s not going to change because you’re an ass once in a while.” He said and then giggled; “I knew you could be an ass long before I loved you.” Lawliet sat up and stared at him indignantly, then laughed and lay back down.

“You’re right, I can’t argue with you there,” he agreed. “I think a nap before your father shows up would be a good idea.” He started to get up and was held back by Light.

“There’s no reason for you to move,” he said pulling up the blanket to cover them both.

“But if your father comes in… Lawliet began sitting up slightly.

“I don’t care, I told you I’m not hiding you anymore,” Light answered and closed his eyes, conversation over. Lawliet stared at him for a moment and then smiled and layback down, snuggling in close to fit better in the small bed.

Wammy steeled himself before opening the door to Roger’s office. Roger stood up quickly when he saw Wammy come in, relief obvious on his face. Soichiro Yagami also stood from his chair, walking over to meet Wammy as he came in the door. Wammy bowed slightly before offering his hand.

“It is good to meet you Mr. Yagami,” he began, “Although I do wish it was under much better circumstances.” Light’ father paused for a moment before returning the bow and taking his hand.

“Yes, this is not something I ever expected to happen here at this prestigious school,” he answered, “Because of this I wish to withdraw my son from this institution and see him immediately after.”

Wammy sighed and motioned for Yagami to sit down again as he replaced Roger at the desk, Roger moving quickly to the door and closing it behind him. He laced his fingers together and met Yagami’s eyes.

“While I can understand your feelings in this matter, I believe it would be a mistake to remove him now, interfering with his studies at such a crucial time. He has only a few months left before graduation and…”

“That means nothing to me,” Yagami said, “I will bring him home and have him tutored in whatever he needs. It is more important that I get him home safely than whether or not he receives a diploma from Wammy’s. You are quite lucky that I do not have your entire institution shut down; allowing this kind of situation to happen is gross negligence on your part and on anyone else who did not prevent this.”

“It was not gross negligence Mr. Yagami, it was the result of the actions of a young man who was suffering from a malady we were not aware of. Illness of the mind can not always be seen as easily detected as an illness of the body, and there were extenuating circumstances that could not have been foreseen...”

“I don’t care about any of that Wammy,” Yagami said standing up, “What I want is whatever paperwork I need to sign to get Light out of here and I want it immediately.” Wammy sighed and stood up himself, standing straight and still meeting Yagami eye to eye.

“Well, there is a problem with that Mr. Yagami,” he began, “Light doesn’t wish to leave.”

“He doesn’t have any choice in the matter, he is my son and until he is of legal age to take care of himself, he will do as I wish.” Wammy nodded and moved towards the door of Roger’s office.

“Come with me to my office, the necessary papers are in my desk.” He said going out first and letting Yagami follow him. Once in his office he walked to the desk and withdrew the papers and put them on top.

“I know Light has several months before he reaches the age of majority in Japan, but here in England he has already reached the proper age to make all of his own decision.” He began as Chief Yagami looked at the papers.

“My son is a citizen of Japan, not of England,” he nearly spat, “And as such he is under my jurisdiction.” 

“If you look at those papers closely, you will see that is no longer the case. Light is a British citizen now; he signed the papers and they have been executed. Because of this, you cannot make him leave Wammy’s.”

“What? You had no right!” Yagami nearly yelled as he looked at the papers, “What did you do to coerce him into such a thing, giving up his heritage, his citizenship.”

“I did nothing but assist him when he asked for it. He has not given up his heritage, he is proud to be Japanese. But he was fearful that you would do exactly as you are trying to do and he did not wish to leave. He asked me if there was any way he could avoid it before his birthday and I told him there was. It was his decision, and his alone, no one forced him.”

“This can’t be legal, I will take this to court and have it annulled…” Soichiro began and Wammy shook his head

“Of course you have that right, and by the time that is done he will be the age of majority in Japan and it will have the same outcome, except you will also have his anger and resentment as well. Chief Yagami I know all of this has come as an incredible shock to you and I completely understand, but Light is a young man now and as such is able to and has made decisions for his own future. It is extremely regrettable what has happened to him, but he was hurt in trying to protect another student so he must also be regarded as a brave young man, perfectly capable of making decisions regarding his own life,” he walked around the desk so that he was standing directly in front of him, “If you wish, I will be happy to take you to the hospital to visit your son, I’m sure he will be glad to see you.” 

The fury in Yagami’s eyes began to lessen replaced with a sudden hardness, tinged with a small amount of sadness.

“That won’t be necessary,” he said throwing the papers back on Wammy’s desk. “Until Light comes to his senses and withdraws these papers, I have no son. He has decided to turn against me, his family, his heritage and I will not stand for it. If he believes he is such a man as to make these kinds of decisions, he can also take care of himself in all ways. There will be no more funding from me in any way. I will leave Misa here in case her being around him will bring him back to his senses and there is no reason for her to suffer because of his reckless behavior. “ He turned and walked out of the office. 

Wammy sighed and sat back down at his desk. He hadn’t expected that; the anger yes, but not his completely washing his hands of his only son. He picked up his phone and called Roger’s office.

“Roger, please set up Light Yagami’s account under the auspices of the school, all expenses to come from the fund I have set up, including the regular weekly allowance. I’m heading back to the hospital now.”

“Right away Quil. I take it Mr. Yagami has left?” 

“Yes, and he won’t be back; Light is our responsibility now and that suits me just fine.” He hung up the phone and quickly walked out of the office.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another crisis for Light while he and L try to heal; A begs for forgiveness for BB, Watari tries to handle volatile situations.

Mello leaned forward and kissed Matt deeply as he moved inside him, slowly and lovingly. Usually he was more forceful, but after everything that had happened he felt Matt needed to be treated gently, shown just how much he loved him. It wasn’t about dominance or power right now; it was about how much he cared. 

Matt normally enjoyed Mello’s roughness, he loved it. But this time, as if Mello knew, he appreciated the warmth and caring Mello was showing him; he needed it and he was sure Mello needed it as well. This entire situation had been so hard on both of them, and this was the first time they had both been able to relax and enjoy each other since it all happened.

He moaned softly as Mello’s movements began to speed up, each thrust hitting his prostate and making him see stars. He listened to Mello tell him he loved him, as he buried his face in Matt’s neck, then reached between their bodies and began to stroke him in time with his own thrusts. With all the tension and worry over the past week, the recurring nightmares that interrupted his sleep, it didn’t take much for Matt to reach his climax and when he did he thought it was going to shatter him into pieces. Mello followed quickly behind him, falling heavily on the bed beside him afterwards, trying to catch his breath.

“If you see my brains lying anywhere, would you please give them back to me?” Matt said with a chuckle as he finally began to calm. Mello raised himself up on one elbow and grinned at him.

“So I finally did it, finally fucked your brains out…” he laughed and pulled Matt against him, kissing the top of his head. “I just wanted to make you feel good, make sure you know how much I love you.” Matt nodded against him.

“Message came through loud and clear,” he said with a smile. He looked up at the blonde seriously. “Will you stop worrying about me now? I’m okay, I really am.” He promised, running a hand through his damp hair.

“I’m never going to stop worrying about you so forget that noise right now,” Mello answered with a frown and got a wide-eyed stare in return.

“My big, strong hero,” Matt sighed batting his eyes, then yelped as Mello shoved him out of the bed onto the floor.

“Asshole,” Mello laughed then watched as Matt climbed back into the bed, laughing as he did.

“Okay so maybe I over did it,” he said as he climbed back under the covers, “But Mello if I didn’t have you, especially right now….” Mello nodded and took the red head back into his arms.

“I know, and with everything’s that’s happened, you kept me from losing my mind too. I still have a hard time believing what BB did, it just doesn’t make sense to me.” Matt nodded.

“I know, and I haven’t known him as long as you have, and it was a complete shock to me too. It’s gotta work out Mello, I don’t see either Light or Lawliet pursuing this to put him in jail, neither one of them are like that, and especially under the circumstances,” he kissed his cheek, “So try not to worry about that, he’ll get better and A will get better, Light and Lawliet will get better and we can come out on the other side of this,” he held up his hands in front of Mello’s face, “Look, even I’m better, they ‘re not shaking any more.” Mello smiled and took both Matt’s hands in his.

“That’s perfect,” he said and gathered Matt into his arms as he closed his eyes. “Time for a nap now,” he said and Matt agreed.

“I wonder how Wammy’s making out with Light’s father,” he said as he began to drift into sleep and Mello chuckled softly.

“I haven’t seen anyone that Wammy can’t handle,” he said, “One way or another.”

 

Light smiled at the soft snores Lawliet was making as he lay next to him in the small hospital bed. He hadn’t been able to nap as L had, his mind going over exactly what he would say to his father when he arrived, how he’d explain everything and the safeguard he and Wammy had put in to keep from hauling him back to Japan. He knew his father would be furious when he found out, and he wasn’t sure exactly what he’d do in his anger; he just knew he had to protect Lawliet from it.

He jumped slightly when he heard a knock on their door and was quite surprised when he saw A slowly come through the door. He sat up slightly, moving Lawliet gently so he wouldn’t wake him and waved the teen into the room.

“Hey, it’s good to see you’re okay,” he said genuinely happy to see him, as he hadn’t the entire time they’d been there. A nodded as he moved closer to the bed and sat in the chair next to him.

“Thank you,” he said, “And I’m really glad to see you guys are alright too. I’ve wanted to come see you several times but they didn’t think it was a good idea until now,” he looked down at the sleeping Lawliet, “I’m so sorry this happened, I had no idea B would…” he looked down at his still bandaged wrists, “It was so stupid…” Light shook his head and smiled.

“Well, maybe that wasn’t the best idea you’ve had in your lifetime, but you weren’t really yourself, were you? Let’s just put all of this behind us and just get on with it so stop apologizing. Obviously B wasn’t himself either, and you’re both getting the treatment you need, it’ll be okay soon enough. How’s B doing now?” 

“We’re both doing better; me especially. It feels kind of different that I’m a bit stronger than he is right now, he’s devastated by what he did and the fact that there’s a part of him that could do something like that,” he sighed, “I’ve always known there was a dark side to BB, but I never thought he could do something like this.” He shook his head and looked at Light with deeply troubled eyes, “The main problem right now is that he’s terrified that we’ll be separated again if he goes to jail. As usual he’s worried about what the separation would do to me, more than what would happen to him. So I’m going to beg you to please don’t send him to jail Light,” he implored, “I know what he did was wrong but like you said, he wasn’t himself. If he goes to jail, it will kill him. It’s my fault he…he lost himself like that. He’d have never done it if I hadn’t been so selfish.” Light shook his head, reaching across to put his hand on A’s.

“Alexander, I promise you neither Lawliet or myself have any intention of pressing charges against B that would send him to jail,” he told him, “We discussed it earlier and knowing it happened because he literally lost himself, we don’t see the point in treating him as if he were a hardened criminal. Obviously he needs to spend some time where he can be treated, but not jail. I’m sure Wammy and his lawyers are working to do whatever they can to keep that from happening too, it’s going to be okay.” A nodded and smiled at him gratefully.

“Thank you, Light. I don’t know exactly what the situation is right now either, but I had to know what you guys were going to do. I couldn’t have blamed you if you were angry and wanted him to pay for what he did, you both got hurt very badly, but I did hope..” he took a deep breath and changed the subject. “I’m surprised Misa isn’t here.” He chuckled at the face Light made, and the noise that came from Lawliet in his sleep when her name was mentioned.

“Believe me, she ‘s been here more than I wish she had,” he answered, “But I’ve managed to get her to believe I need fewer visits and more rest for now. My father has arrived at Wammy’s and I’m sure after we have our discussion she’ll finally find out that I am not going to marry her and I can stop this charade.” He reached over and ran a hand through L’s hair. “I hate what I’ve had to put Lawliet through, just to keep the peace and I refuse to do it any longer. I could have lost him, and I would have regretted all the time I lost that I could have had with him.”

“I understand,” A said and then turned at the sound of the door opening and Wammy coming into the room. “I’ll get back to BB now,” he said standing up, “He’s not allowed to leave his room yet. Thank you so much, I’m sure when I tell him what you said it will put his mind more at ease.” He walked towards the door and stopped in front of Wammy.

“It’s good to see you up and about,” the older man said, “And I want to reassure you that we are doing everything to make sure things go well for Beyond, as well yourself. He will probably end up spending a bit of time here, but it will be better than jail time.” A nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes, it would be. I know BB won’t have the freedom that I do, but it will be much better than jail. Thank you, Wammy.” He said and gave the older man a quick hug before leaving the room. Light looked behind Wammy expecting any moment for his father to walk in and when he didn’t he looked up at Wammy in question.

“My father didn’t come with you?” he asked confused. Wammy sighed and shook his head.

“No, I’m afraid not. He said all he needed to in my office. He threatened just as we expected him to, and once I showed him the papers, he became as furious as we also supposed he would.” Light sighed and looked down at Lawliet.

“And when you told him why?” he asked.

“I didn’t think it was my place to tell him about your relationship with Lawliet. He became so angry at the fact that you signed those papers, he…well he disowned you until you came to your senses, cutting you off completely,” he reached out and put his hand on Light’s shoulder, “I’m very sorry, Light.” Light sighed heavily and shook his head.

“It’s not as if I didn’t expect him to behave this way, but I had hoped he would have at least tried to understand,” he looked down as Lawliet’s eyes fluttered open, the conversation reaching his subconscious. He smiled up at Light and Wammy as he tried to slowly sit up.

“I guess I was more tired than I thought,” he apologized and Light smiled down at him.

“Don’t apologize, it’s okay,” he said then looked back at Wammy, “I guess he’s on his way back home?” he asked and Wammy nodded.

“Yes, and don’t concern yourself with anything I have a special fund set aside just for this possibility. Your tuition will be paid and weekly stipend will remain the same.” Lawliet frowned and looked at Light.

“Did I sleep through your father’s visit?” he asked and Light laughed. 

“No, believe me if he had been here you wouldn’t have been able to sleep through it. He has disowned me because I signed away my citizenship and his right to order me back home.”

“Light, I’m sorry,” Lawliet told him taking his hand, “I….” Light stopped him.

“Lawliet don’t apologize for something you didn’t do. I knew he’d be like this, I knew he’d be furious, and I had a feeling he’d do something but I didn’t expect him to completely shut me out,” he looked up suddenly, “I have to call my mother, I have to talk to her before he tells her not to.” Wammy handed him his phone and Light dialed immediately, relaxing when he heard his mother’s voice. Wammy walked outside of the room to give Light privacy, knowing Lawliet was there if he needed him.

“Mom…mom I’m okay, don’t worry. Yea, I know it’s really early but...yes, dad was here but…no I’m not coming home right now…because I don’t want to…wait…mom please listen, okay, just listen to me. Dad’s very angry with me, because I’m not coming home and he…he says I’m disowned unless I come to my senses. But mom…I’m not going to change my mind…I love where I am, I love who I’m with and that’s not going to change. So…I wanted to talk to you one last time because I know dad, and I know he’ll forbid you to talk to me once he’s come home and told you what’s happened. Mom…I…I love you and I’m sorry, I don’t mean to hurt you and maybe…after a while we can straighten it out.” Lawliet held Light’s hand tighter as he saw tears begin to form and fall down Light’s face. “Mom…is Sayu there? Okay, just…just tell her that I love her, and I miss her and I’ll get in contact with her as soon as everything dies down. Mom…please don’t…I’m sorry…I…” he pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at Lawliet. “She hung up on me,” he said as tears fell even faster, “She told me I was an ungrateful son and she hung up on me.” Lawliet took the phone and wrapped his arms around Light, holding him tightly as he cried against him. 

“I’m so sorry Light,” he whispered against the top of his head, “I know I’m not your parents, but I’m here Light, I’m always going to be here, I love you.” Light nodded against him, his own arms reaching around him. By the time Wammy came back into the room, Light had calmed down and was sitting quietly, holding Lawliet’s hand. As he moved closer to them, Lawliet handed Wammy his phone and thanked him.

“I am sorry things have gone so badly in so many ways,” Wammy said to both of them, “But it will go up from here, I promise you. You two should be out of here soon, I am going to make sure that Alexander and Beyond will remain here on the psychiatric floor for an undetermined amount of time until they are well. Graduation will happen as planned, L will continue as planned, and your futures are assured. If you will excuse me, I’m going to go and make sure things move smoothly from now on. Light, do you wish me to say anything to Ms Amane?” Light shook his head.

“I’ll deal with her when I get out of here,” he said, “I no longer have anything to fear in repercussions, thanks to you. Thank you, Wammy.” Wammy smiled then left the room.

“I suppose it would be cruel to ask to sit in when you finally tell her that’s it ‘s over?” Lawliet asked, an evil smile on his face. Light chuckled and shook his head.

“I can understand, she went out of her way to make you miserable, but no, that will have to be between Misa and myself, sorry.” Lawliet sighed and got up from Light’s bed and walked to his own, pushing on the nurse button.

“I don’t know about you but I’m starving,” he said not wanting to discuss her any more, “how can they expect me to get well without the proper amount of sugar on a timely basis,” he complained, practically leaning on the button making Light burst into laughter, and it felt really good. He chuckled again as he watched Lawliet complain to the nurse when she finally came in about getting something to eat. Everything would be okay, the worst was over, it could only get better. He picked up his phone and called Wammy, suggesting that when he came back for a visit he bring something sweet for Lawliet before he was restrained.


	21. Chapter 21

Metamorphosis 21

 

“I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed tonight,” Lawliet said happily as he gathered the few things he had in the hospital room that he wanted to take with him. He had finally been released and he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Wammy acknowledged the statement with a nod as he stood with Lawliet’s doctor signing the proper paperwork that would get him released.

“I can understand that,” he said, “And I’m glad you feel that way as you will be spending a good deal of time in it for at least another ten days.” Lawliet stopped packing and turned to stare at him.

“What? Wammy come on, I’ve got so much to catch up on, not to mention the special project, which I’ve not been able to do anything on for weeks…” he complained. Wammy ignored him as he continued to consult with the doctor, not answering until the doctor had left.

“This isn’t up for discussion,” Wammy told him, “Your doctor has given me all of the information because he knew you wouldn’t pay any attention to it judging by your behavior while being here. It was not simply because his wounds were not as deep as yours that Light was released over a week ago and not you, Lawliet.” He reminded him. 

L pouted and sat down on the bed slowly so as not to tear stitches, crossing his arms in annoyance. He had been more than aggravated when Light had been released, even though Light spent every night with him anyway, coming back at dinner time and letting him know what was going on at school, but it still pissed him off that he was stuck there at the hospital while Light was free to go. Now he was finally leaving and he had to stay in bed at home for another ten days? He refused to do this quietly, when Wammy wasn’t looking he would…

“And don’t think that I won’t know it if you’re up and about when you’re not supposed to be,” Watari said as if he’d heard Lawliet’s thoughts, “Remember your apartment is wired and has cameras I control, I will be monitoring it and if you do not behave I will have you restrained.” L’s large eyes widened even more, and blinked at Wammy in complete surprise.

“You’d…restraints? Me?” he sputtered and Wammy nodded, moving closer to him so that they were nearly nose-to-nose.

“Yes young man, absolutely,” he told him, “You have to continue healing and the only reason you are being released now is because you have been quite rude and obnoxious recently to the doctors and nurses whose only job is to make sure you heal properly, you have been quite the annoying prat, and I will not stand for any more of it.”

“I…but…I was just tired of this place, I didn’t…” Lawliet began and Wammy shook his head.

“Understandable but not excusable,” he continued, “And you will apologize to them before we leave.” Lawliet opened his mouth to argue but he knew better, and as he thought about it, Wammy was correct. He had been a pill over the last week, so much so that even Light had told him to relax a few times and apologized for him. He sighed and looked away, shoving his hands into his pockets

“Alright, I’m sorry,” he mumbled and Wammy finally smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I know you are, you have been through a lot, I simply don’t wish you to lose yourself over it.” Lawliet nodded and smiled back, glad to see Wammy’s smile again. He turned and went back to packing, closing up the bag.

“Before you leave Lawliet, you should talk to your brother, you haven’t since you’ve been here.” Wammy said gently. 

Lawliet began to shake his head violently, his eyes wide again but this time with anger and fear.

“No, I have nothing to say to him. Isn’t it enough I didn’t throw him in jail for trying to kill me and Light?” Wammy sighed and shook his head.

“I believe you two have volumes that need to be said to each other and although I understand your feelings Lawliet, you know he wasn’t in his right mind, he would never have hurt you or Light had situations not been as they were. He needs to hear from you that you’ve forgiven him; he needs it to help him heal and move forward. He is still your brother, and he needs to see you.”

Lawliet couldn’t stop the tears that suddenly sprang to his eyes, as the thought of facing his would be murderer brother again. He hated the fact that it frightened him more than he wanted to admit and he shook his head again.

“He could barely stand me before, I doubt very seriously if he needs to see me at all now,” he turned to face his mentor. “Please…I can’t Wammy, I can’t,” he pleaded, the look on B’s face as he came after him and then slashed Light flashing in his mind over and over. He hadn’t told anyone but he would see it whenever he closed his eyes at night to try to sleep, and only recently was he able to banish it from his mind so he could rest. He had never seen such pure hate and fury directed at him, and he was terrified to see it again. If he had to really look into those eyes again, eyes that never really looked at him with anything more than annoyance or distaste anyway, he didn’t think he could take it. 

Wammy watched him for a moment, angry with himself for trying to push the boy into something he obviously was far from ready to deal with, he should have known better.  
Apparently Lawliet had a lot of healing to do as well. He gently rubbed the boy’s back and tried to soothe him.

“Aright son, relax. You won’t have to do that today, you’re not ready. I’m not even sure if Beyond is ready for that confrontation either in reality, but both of you will have to face this eventually, just not right now.” Lawliet nodded and got control of himself.

“I’m sorry, I am disappointing you in every possible way today,” Lawliet apologized as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

“No Lawliet, you have never disappointed me. I am guilty of pushing too hard; it’s something I have come to realize just recently.” He handed the teen tissues and picked up his bag, “Come on, Light’s waiting for you.” 

At the mention of Light, Lawliet immediately brightened, remembering that for the first time in weeks they would be together in his apartment again, able to be together without having to hide anything from anyone.

“Lawliet, I need to do one thing before we leave,” Wammy said after making sure the teen was safe in the car, “I’ll be right back.” Lawliet nodded and sat back against the seat to wait.

 

Light nervously played with the ring box, tossing it from hand to hand as he waited for Misa to join him. He looked at his watch for what seemed like the hundredth time since he had called her to join him out in the garden. He wanted this done and over with before Lawliet came home and the last thing he wanted was for him to come home and find him with Misa.

He had tried several times to talk to her but she was always with a gaggle of her friends, going on and on about how brave he had been, how terrified she had been and how she couldn’t wait for them to go back to Japan to be married and get away from all of this. He finally got her attention by telling her he wanted to talk to her about the ring, and alone. 

He’d been out of the hospital for at least a week and had spent most of that time trying to decide exactly what to do and how to say it to hurt her the least, but no matter what he came up with he knew it was going to hurt and there was nothing he could do about it. 

He groaned inwardly when he heard the high-pitched sound of his name coming from her as she ran towards him. There were times he wished he could tune down her voice, it reached heights he was sure every dog in England could hear. He chuckled to himself and stood as she got closer to him.

“Oh Light this is so romantic out here!” she cooed as she looked around, “I bet I know what you have on your mind!” He sighed and shook his head.

“No, I don’t think you do,” he said quietly then motioned for her to sit down on the bench and then sat next to her. “I have something very serious to discuss with you.” She giggled and gently pressed her hand to his chest.

“Is it still very painful?” she asked, “I guess what happened made you realize what was really important to you?”

“You’re right, it did, and no, it’s just a bit tender right now. Now I know…what are you doing?” he asked as she began to unbutton his shirt.

“I haven’t seen the scar, I bet it’s sexy, even though it’s a shame you have a scar on your beautiful chest, I’m sure it makes you look even more manly!’ she said as Light fought her probing fingers.

“Misa…stop it, I’m trying to be serious…come on knock it off!” he nearly shouted at her, pulling her hands away.

“Stop being so shy Light, we’re going to be married there’s no harm in…”

“No…no we’re not going to be married Misa, that’s what I’m trying to tell you!” he finally blurted out and she stopped and stared at him.

“What? Of course we are! Oh, I know what’s wrong; you ‘re upset because your father got all stupid when he came to visit. It’s okay, my dad says he can change his mind and put you back in his good graces after we graduate and move back to Japan and once we get married how could he stay mad at you ?” 

“Misa it’s not just that, I’m pretty sure the relationship between myself and my father is all but done, and if it wasn’t before it certainly will be after he learns about what I’m about to tell you,” he sighed and handed her the box, “I need you to send this back to him, Misa, you ‘re not going to need it.” Misa continued to stare at him before she took the box.

“What do you mean?” she said in almost a whisper, “Why won’t I need it?”

“Because there is no engagement Misa, there will be no wedding, no marriage. I’m sorry, I’ve been telling you this for such a long time but you never listened and after a while I just stopped trying because you were talking to my family and causing all kinds of trouble. It’s over Misa, and I’m not going to pretend any longer. I’m really sorry, I don’t mean to hurt you, but it’s over.” Misa looked down at the box and then back up at him, his expression serious but gentle as well. 

“But why Light?” she asked as it finally set in, huge tears running down her face, “I love you Light, what have I done wrong?”

“You just didn’t listen to me, Misa. How often over the past several years have I told you I’m not interested in girls? I’ve told you I was gay…” She shook her head and stood up.

“But you ‘re not gay, you’re just confused, all of the pressure you’ve been under; if you just give us a chance…” he stood up and took a deep breath.

“No, Misa I’m not confused, that’s my parents and your parents talking. I know what I am, I know what I want and…I know who I love and I’m sorry but it isn’t you, and I’m sorry.” He turned and began to walk away when a shriek from her made him stop and turn around. Her hurt had turned to anger, and she threw the ring at him, screaming as she did.

“You idiot!!” she screamed at him, “Take this back and give it to him then, and when you finally realize you can’t have a real family with him, then maybe when you come crawling back to me I’ll take you back, if I haven’t found someone else! You can’t make a fool out of me Light Yagami, I’ll tell everyone I dumped you because you don’t know what you want and I got tired of waiting for you to decide! Go back to your lover Light, go back to Lawliet I could care less!” she turned from him then and walked in the other direction. Light watched her and sighed. “I am sorry, Misa,” he called after her but she completely ignored him. He picked up the ring and took it back with him, he’d send it back to his father then, at least he could get his money back for it. At least it was over and he could prepare for Lawliet coming home. He picked up his pace and ran back to the building so he’d be ready when Wammy did bring him from the hospital.

Beyond looked up from his lunch as he heard the lock on the sliding door to his room click. He had hoped it was A coming early as it wasn’t his time yet, but instead it was Wammy. He sighed and went back to eating his lunch.

“How are you Beyond?”, Wammy asked as he walked closer to the teen who merely shrugged in answer, “Look at me son,” Wammy asked softly and Beyond sighed, put his plastic spoon down and looked at him.

“What is it that you want from me?” he finally asked the older man.

“First, I want to know how you really are feeling,” Wammy answered, “Your doctor says your outbursts are down significantly, which is a very good thing. It means you’re controlling your anger Beyond, that’s an achievement, it should make you feel good.”

Beyond chuckled and sat back in is chair and smiled at Wammy. “Yes, I’m being a very good boy. I’m allowed longer visits with A when I’m a good boy so why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, whatever the reason it means you ‘re getting better, and the faster that happens, the faster you’ll be out of here and back to Wammy’s.” At that Beyond laughed even harder.

“Back to Wammy’s? Is that what you think I’m working towards? Hardly, when I get out of here, A and I are leaving here and going home; we’re done here.” Wammy shook his head.

“Are you sure that’s wise, Beyond?”, he asked, “You’re only a few short months away from graduation. I’m going to have your work brought here for you so you can complete your credits until you can come back and graduate. Then your future is assured...”

“My future is assured with or without Wammy’s,” Beyond answered, reaching for his Styrofoam cup of coffee, “A and I have always planned what we would do when school was over and that’s what will happen whether I graduate or not,” he sighed and then smiled, “As I have to do something to pass the time I will do the work, but I will not return to Wammy’s.”

“Well, perhaps you’ll finish your credits and earn your certificate whilst you’re here, and there’ll be no need to actually return. I image it could be difficult for you after all that’s happened in reality.”

“If you ‘re worried about what others might think of me, that isn’t anything I care about Wammy, I never did,” Beyond told him with an odd twinkle in his eye, “I would probably enjoy watching them run from me, whispering behind my back until I turned around and they would stop, staring at me in fear of what I might do; yes, I think that would be enjoyable, but even that promising amusement isn’t enough to make me want to walk those halls again.” He looked away for a moment, looking down at his hands. “I don’t want to go back there and relive that moment of seeing A…covered in his own blood; even now just the mere memory makes all of those feelings return just under the surface,” he looked at Wammy, “It’s safer if I don’t return there.”

“I understand,” Wammy sighed, “Perhaps it would be for the best then. I also wanted to tell you that Lawliet is going home today, he has sufficiently recovered to leave.” Beyond gave a half smile and went back to his lunch.

“How nice for him, I’m glad he is healing nicely. I don’t imagine he’ll come up to say good-bye?”

“No, I’m sorry Beyond. As you have things to get over, so does he.” Wammy answered and for a moment he saw a trace of sadness cross the teen’s face.

“I imagine so. I dislike many things about my brother, but I never wished him dead Wammy, you understand.” 

“We are both aware of that,” Wammy assured him, “but the attack has left him understandably shaken. I’m sure with a little more time he’ll come and visit you.”

“I won’t hold my breath,” Beyond chuckled and pushed the tray away, lying back on his bed and closed his eyes, “I’m tired Wammy, and I’m sure Lawliet is waiting for you.”

“I’m sure he is,” Wammy answered, “I’ll be back to look in on you tomorrow, rest well.” 

Beyond didn’t answer so Wammy turned and let the attendants know he was ready to leave. He turned and looked in on the teen again as the door was closed and relocked, then sighed and walked away.


	22. Chapter 22

Metamorphosis 22

 

Beyond looked up as he heard the door to his room slide open, then smiled as his visitor walked into the room before the door was locked behind him.

“Mello, and without Matt? Unusual,” he said with a grin.

“They only allow one visitor at a time now,” Mello said walking over to him, “He’ll visit later,” he sat down next to his friend on the bed. “How much trouble are you giving those assholes out there?” Beyond laughed and lay back against his pillows.

“Haven’t you heard, I’m a model patient,” he said with a grin, “Taking all of my meds, following all directions, keeping my temper in check. I’m a good boy.” Mello laughed but couldn’t help the unease he felt at the same time, as much as he tried to show it, B wasn’t quite right yet.

“That’s good, you‘ll be out sooner that way,” he said. “Just to let you know, A’s been doing pretty well trying to get back into things, I was surprised,” he told him. “He says it makes him a little uncomfortable when some of the kids who knew what happened stare at him once in a while, but that doesn’t happen too often. Matt’s keeping up with him anyway, making sure he’s not alone for too long. “ Beyond nodded and looked seriously at Mello.

“Thank you, it means a lot to me that you guys are watching out for him, I hate that I have to be in here and he’s alone,” he said some bitterness in his tone, “But I only have   
one person to blame for it.” Mello reached out and touched his arm.

“It’s okay, you weren’t yourself, we all understand that,” he said and was surprised when BB broke into laughter.

“You think I blame myself? It’s Lawliet’s fault, all of this is his fault. My only fault is that I allowed myself to lose control, which never would have happened if it weren’t for him.” Mello stared at him in surprise, moving his hand from his arm.

“You’re blaming Lawliet? Why?” he asked.

“Why? His meddling, getting A involved in that nonsense again. If he’d just stayed out of it nothing would have happened.” BB nearly spat and Mello shook his head.

“A came to Lawliet, he wanted something to do…”

“Then he should have told him no, he knew I didn’t want A to have anything to do with him and his little special group, we were out of it but he wanted to get at me, so yes, I blame Lawliet for all of this.”

“You didn’t mean to try and kill him and Light though BB, I know you better than that,” Mello said, concerned about the amount of bitterness he could hear in his friend’s voice. 

“No, as much as I hate him I don’t want him dead, or his fuck buddy. That’s what I meant by making me lose control, I should never have gone after him like that, but seeing A like that…” he shook his head with a small shudder. “There are other ways of making him pay for what he’s done; if he’s dead it’s over too quickly,” he smiled at Mello, “I want him to constantly be worried about what I might do. Being in his head is much better than physically hurting him.” 

Mello stood up and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head.

“BB you have to let this go, Lawliet didn’t mean any harm. If you hold on to this hate, it’s not going to help you get out of here.” BB laughed again.

“I’ve told you, I’m a model patient, I do everything I’m supposed to do, take all my meds, say all the right things. I’m deeply repentant over what I’ve done, I would never want to hurt my brother or anyone else again. I’ll get out; and when I do A and I will leave here to do what we had planned before all of this happened. And all the while, I’ll be at the back of dear Lawliet’s mind, eating away at him as he wonders if I have anything planned for him, or if I’ll let it go. I think it’s a brilliant plan; I actually don’t ever have to do anything, but there’s always the possibility and he’ll never know for sure. What do you think of my long term plans?”

“I think you‘re full of crap,” Mello told him making BB laugh again, “By the time you get out of here, fucking with Lawliet’s mind is going to be the last thing on you want to worry about,” He smiled at him, “I gotta go, Matt wants to see you, and I’ve got a few things to do. Keep behaving yourself and maybe we can plan a coming home party soon.” BB waved at him and rolled over on his bed, his back to him. Mello’s smile faded as he waited for them to unlock the door so he could leave; his friend still had a lot of issues to deal with, and it made him nervous.

 

Light didn’t know whether to wait in the apartment or on the front steps of the building, but he finally decided on the apartment. Making a spectacle on the steps of the school probably wouldn’t go over very well, no matter how well it was meant. On top of that, Misa was out and about and he didn’t want Lawliet’s first day back to be filled with drama.

He was leaning against the window when he saw Wammy’s car pull into the driveway through the gate. He watched as the car stopped, Wammy got out and opened the passenger door, and finally he saw Lawliet getting out of the car. He seemed to be moving slowly still; he wasn’t surprised. His chest wound was nothing compared to how deeply BB had plunged his knife into Lawliet’s back, so much internal damage he found out later that Lawliet could have died at any time. It was the main reason he didn’t want to deal with Misa any longer; he could have lost Lawliet without having had a full relationship with him because of her, and he wasn’t going to do that any longer. There was no reason to now anyway, and even if there had been, he still would have done it. 

He watched as they disappeared into the building and then moved away from the window and stood in the middle of the room, watching the door intently, knowing it would take a few minutes for him to get there. 

The moment the door opened he ran to it, hugging Lawliet to him. “Welcome home,” he said as he kissed him gently, and then suddenly remember Wammy was right behind him. He blushed slightly and moved back. “Hey, Wammy,” he added.

The older man chuckled as he moved into the apartment carrying Lawliet’s things. “Now Light I’m going to leave you in charge at the moment,” he said moving into the bedroom and then out again, “He can not stay out of bed for very long, he needs to rest to complete healing and to insure he doesn’t burst stitches, especially the ones inside. He’s only home because he became so obnoxious it was difficult for the staff to care for him.” Light smirked at him, having seen him behave that way himself it was easy for him to believe.

“Alright then, you sit down on the couch and I’ll turn down the bed and make sure it’s ready for you,” he said helping Lawliet to sit and went into the bedroom. Wammy nodded his agreement and turned to Lawliet.

“Remember what I told you, don’t fight him, you need to heal still. I’m not saying you can’t get up on occasion, do a few things for yourself, but very limited, understand?” Lawliet pouted but nodded.

“What about the meetings?” he asked, “We’re already woefully behind, I have cases I was going to work on…”

“The meetings will begin again tomorrow with you, I’ve been holding the training sessions without the others since Light was released. I will have what you need to work moved to your bedroom for now, no sitting up at that desk. But until I do that, just relax Lawliet.” He smiled and put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Try to anyway, things will get back to normal soon.” He then nodded and smiled at Light before leaving them alone.

Light sat down next to Lawliet, putting his arm around him and pulling him against him. “I’m so glad you’re home,” he told him, “It was pretty lonely in here without you.” L sat up and looked up at him.

“You stayed here? What about Misa, didn’t she look for you in Near’s room?” Light shook his head.

”There is no more Misa,” he said, “I moved all of my things up here and into the bedroom, I hope you don’t mind.” L shook his head in confusion.

“Of course I don’t mind but what do you mean there’s no more Misa?” 

“After my father disowned me there was no reason to keep up the façade, so I told her in no uncertain terms that it was over, that in reality there had never been anything between us, and never would be.”

“Did she take it as I suspect she did?” Lawliet asked. Light nodded with a sigh.

“Exactly, she went from heartbroken to furious. She’s still here, and every chance she gets she makes snide comments about me to whomever she ‘s with. It doesn’t matter, it’s over and I don’t have to pretend any longer.” L reached up and stroked his face with his fingers.

“I love you Light,” he said quietly and leaned forward to kiss him. Light returned the kiss warmly then stood up.

“Come on, let me get you to bed before Wammy comes back and tears us both a new one,” he said with a chuckle, pulling Lawliet slowly to his feet. The teen nodded reluctantly and let Light lead into the bedroom. He was actually happy when he saw the large bed again; letting Light help him undress and slide him between the cool sheets. He sighed with pleasure as he lay back against the pillows, stretching out and enjoying the room.

“It’s not so bad is it,” Light said folding Lawliet’s clothes and laying them on a dresser, “You need this.” Lawliet nodded watching Light fuss with his clothes with a smile. He smiled even wider when after he was done with his clothes, Light came to the bed and lay down beside him.

“Did you see BB before you left?” Light asked as he put his arm around him. He immediately felt Lawliet tense up and pull away from him shaking his head.

“No, I did not,” he said quietly, “I don’t want to see him again, Light. He tried to kill us, why would I want anything to do with him?”

“Because he’s your brother,” Light answered, “And he had lost his mind with grief, you know that.”

“He has never cared for me, we have fought violently often. This was merely the next step that was waiting to happen, no matter the reason. I’m done with him, I can’t trust that he won’t try to find a way to hurt me again. I am…afraid of him now, and I never had been before. I always hoped there was a line he wouldn’t cross, but now that I know that is no longer true, I will stay away from him. I’m sure it will make him happier as well.” Light nodded, having his own issues with Beyond he could just imagine what was going through Lawliet’s mind. 

“Maybe that’s best right now, we’ve both got a lot to deal with regarding that whole attack. In any case, let’s not worry about it right now. Right now, we should only be concerned with getting you healed and we both need to get some rest. Also I’m sure you‘re going to get company soon, Near’s been asking how you ‘re doing, Matt and Mello want to see you, and A wants to visit when he can. So let’s just relax for now, okay?”

Lawliet nodded, surprised at how exhausted he actually felt now that he was relaxed and next to Light. He snuggled against Light’s chest, putting one arm around him and closed his eyes. At first all he could see was Beyond’s eyes, filled with hate and loathing, staring at him. He shuddered, and shook his head to push it away, holding Light tighter, until the vision was gone. 

Light felt him shudder and cling tighter to him, so he began to stroke the wild hair, kissing his forehead gently as he held him tight. “It’s okay Lawliet, it’s going to be okay,” He assured him as he gently carded through his hair. In a few moments he felt Lawliet’s body relax against him and could see he had finally fallen asleep. 

It took him a little bit longer to fall asleep as his mind was also on Beyond, and exactly what would happen when he did get out, exactly what would he do. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, finally falling asleep himself.


	23. Chapter 23

Metamorphosis 23

 

Matt took another drag on his cigarette as he waited for A to finish his last class and meet him outside. He had been staying pretty close to Alexander since he came home from the hospital, he didn’t want him to spend too much time alone. Although he had been a lot stronger dealing with what happened than Matt had expected, the pressure of dealing with BB in his current state of mind was weighing heavily on him and he shouldered all the guilt for what had happened.

“Hey!” he looked up at the sound to see A coming through the doors and heading for him. He dropped the cigarette and crushed it with his foot.

“It’s about time,” he said with a grin, “What the hell were you doing…kissing up to the teacher?” A laughed and shook is head.

“No, I still had some make-up work to turn in,” he answered, “Where are we going?”

“Into town to this café Mello and I go to a lot. I thought it would be easier to talk if we weren’t surrounded by people who are still being nosy.” A nodded as they walked towards the gates.

“BB and I went into town a few times, but he bored easily. Doesn’t really get into quaint little towns,” he said with a smile, “But I always thought it was a nice place.”

“Then you’re gonna love this café,” Matt told him as they walked, “I take it you’ve been to see BB every day after classes?” A nodded with a heavy sigh.

“He seems to be doing okay but…something’s still wrong,” he said, “He doesn’t treat me any differently, if anything he’s dependant on me more than he’s ever been before, but…” Matt nodded.

“I know. I’ve only been a couple of times, and don’t take this wrong, but he kinda creeps me out.” A stopped and looked at Matt as if he were offended and going to argue but sighed then nodded.

“Yea, I know what you mean. As if there’s something just under the surface waiting to explode.” They had reached the café and were sliding into an empty booth. Matt waited until they had ordered coffee and a couple of slices of cake before continuing.

“Here’s what I’m really concerned about,” he said stirring milk into his coffee, “The way he’s blaming the entire thing on Lawliet and the thinly veiled threats he’s making is disturbing. He doesn’t even seem to care that he’s being monitored all the time, they hear what he’s saying and no matter how well he’s behaving, they know he’s not safe to let out yet. He’s only making things worse for himself this way, and for you.”

“I know, I’ve heard him,” A said miserably, “But what am I supposed to do Matt? I try to tell him that he’s wrong to blame it all on Lawliet, that it was me that went to him for help to do something worthwhile and he was only helping me, but he doesn’t want to hear it. It worries me that he wants to do something to really fuck up Lawliet still, or at least make him think that he wants to. At this point, Lawliet will never have one day where he’s not worried about what his own brother is plotting against him,” he looked down at his hands, “And all of this because I was weak and stupid.” Matt sighed and shook his head.

“No, if anything perhaps what you did was a catalyst, but you know as well as I do that Beyond was kind of walking a thin line before this happened. I have a feeling that if what you did hadn’t happened, it would have been something else. It was gonna happen anyway A, I’m sure of that.”

He stopped when the waitress came back with what they had ordered, and let A drink some of his coffee and eat a little bit before he started again.

“The main reason I wanted to talk with you like this, was because Mello and I think you need to have a contingency plan. You need to think about what you can do without BB right now. Graduation is only a couple of months away, and you know as well as I do that he’s not going anywhere for a while. You can’t sit around and twiddle your thumbs waiting for him to get out no matter how much you love him.” A shook his head almost violently.

“No…I can’t leave him, Matt. He needs me to be there every day, I want to be there every day, I’m all he has. His dad is disgusted with him after what he did, more concerned that if word gets out that his soon attempted to murder his own brother it will be bad for his business and may lose him customers. And his mother, he doesn’t have any kind of relationship with her anyway. She did come to visit him after seeing Lawliet but the only thing she did when she saw BB was ask him over and over again how he could do such a thing. He finally flipped and screamed at her to get out and it took hours to calm him down,” he ran a hand through his hair, “I’m all he has Matt and I’m not leaving him.”

“No one said anything about leaving him,” Matt reassured him, “I would never leave Mello if the situation was reversed. But what I am saying is that you can’t just stay here and wait, you’ve got to continue with your plans. Mello and I were thinking that maybe you could come with us. We’re staying around here, probably London because we love the big city, and it will keep us close to everything going on with “L”. We could get a place together and work that way, and you’ll only be a half an hour away from the hospital.”

A listened in surprise; he hadn’t even thought about what he’d do after graduation, and was touched that Mello and Matt were concerned enough to invite him along. “But what would I do, I can’t do anything with the project?”  
“Not officially, no. But there’s no reason why you couldn’t sort of work for us in a totally outside the box capacity. I’m not even sure exactly what we’ll be doing immediately anyway until this gets off the ground officially. We might just be working freelance until L needs us, and we’d need someone who’s good at paperwork and computers, we hate that shit, man. Near’s going to be hanging around here working with Light and Lawliet so we need you. What do you say?”

A rolled everything Matt had just said over and over in his mind. Of course it made sense; he just hadn’t thought about what he would do if BB wasn’t out by the end of the year; he had simply hoped that he would be out, but that didn’t seem like a reasonable possibility. He had nowhere else to go, and although he was sure Mr. Wammy would let him stay at the school, he was sure he didn’t want that, and what would he do while there even if he did? He looked up at Matt and nodded with a smile.

“I think I’d like that very much, thank you,” he answered and then sighed playing with his fork, “I just hope BB understands.” He looked back up at Matt, “You know that as soon as he gets out, I’ll be going wherever he decides to go, right?” Matt nodded.

“Of course, this is only until he’s out and able to continue with your original plans.” Matt managed to keep the doubt out of his voice about whether that would happen any time soon, “And I’m sure he’ll be okay with it. He knows Mello and I are keeping up with you, he’ll be glad to know you’re not being left on your own and you know he trusts Mello.”

“Yea, but I’m not really sure exactly what he thinks right now,” A answered, “I think I’ll leave it alone until graduation, or if he asks.” 

“Yea, that might be best,” Matt agreed, “So…what do you think of this place?” he asked wanting to lighten the mood a bit.

“Actually, this is really nice,” A said looking around, “I bet BB would even like it,” he looked back at Matt, “I still love him, no matter what’s going on with him.”

“I get it, like I said, if it were Mello in there, I’d be just like you, so don’t worry about it. Now, if you don’t finish that cake I’m going to pull a Lawliet and snatch it off your plate.” A laughed and held up his fork defensively.

“Try it and you‘ll lose a hand,” he warned and Matt laughed with him, relieved it had gone as well as it did. He couldn’t wait to tell Mello when they got back.

 

Lawliet finished reading the synopsis of the cases that were waiting for his decision as to whether or not he wanted to work on them and put the folders on the bedside table; and noticed that Light had left his Criminal Psychology book there earlier. He looked at the clock on his laptop and realized it almost time for that class. Knowing Light needed that book for class, he slid out of bed and immediately pulled on some clothes. Light had been late leaving for classes that morning because he was trying to make sure Lawliet was all set so the least he could do was meet Light at his class and give him his book. He was still moving slower than he liked but at least he was dressed. He grabbed Light’s book and headed out of the door, hoping this was one of the few times that Wammy wasn’t looking.

He made his way down to the academic floors and was only a few doors away from the Psychology room when he heard a high-pitched scream of his name from behind him. He sighed heavily knowing exactly who it was and turned slowly to face her. 

“Well, well if it isn’t the jerk who took my fiancé away from me,” Misa accused as she walked towards him, “I don’t know how you did it, what spell you put on Light, but you managed to do it.”

“Misa, I didn’t do anything to Light, he has his own mind,” Lawliet told her, “Now if you excuse me I have to bring Light his book.” He turned slowly and began to move away, but Misa wasn’t done.

“Did he give you my ring that I gave back to him?” her friends around her laughed and that seemed to strengthen her resolve to keep taunting him, “If you’d just died he would have come back to me and realized he loved me, why didn’t you just die?” He stopped again and turned back to her, unhappy that she was drawing a crowd.

“I’m sorry you were hurt Misa, I really am, but making a scene and wishing I were dead isn’t going to change anything. You’re ruining your chances of remain friends with Light.” He turned away again and saw Light at the other end of the hall heading towards his class, digging in his backpack probably for the book he didn’t have. He tried to move a little quicker to get to him and give him his book before she started again but couldn’t move fast enough. She grabbed his arm, turning him to face her.

“Well since you’re probably going to be marrying him instead of me, let me give you an early wedding present!” she yelled before reaching out and slapping Lawliet as hard as she could. Had he been well it wouldn’t have bothered him half as much but he was still weak and not completely steady on his feet. The hit threw him off balance and he fell against the wall, crying out in pain and sliding down the wall to the floor.

Light heard Misa yelling and looked up in time to see her slap Lawliet and see him fly backwards against the wall. “NO!” He yelled running down the hall to get to Lawliet, knocking students out of the way as he ran.

Misa was shocked at when Lawliet fell. She had fully expected him just maybe stumble back a bit, not to slam into the wall and fall to the ground. When she saw Light running towards him she panicked and tried to help Lawliet from the floor.

“Get your fucking hands off of him you‘ve done enough!” Light hissed pushing her away from Lawliet as he reached down to wrap his arm around him and help him up.

“I’m sorry Light, I didn’t mean to…” she immediately shut up when Light’s eyes rolled up to look at her, the amount of hate in them so strong that she backed up. He pulled Lawliet to his feet, checking to see if he was okay.

“Lawliet…are you hurt? Did you rupture any stitches?” Lawliet shook his head, his face colored in embarrassment.

“No, only my pride has been hurt. I can’t believe that little slap did that to me,” he looked around, “And I had to have an audience for my humiliation.” Light looked around to see a crowd of students standing around and staring.

“Get going,” he nearly growled at them, “You’ve got better things to do,” he turned to Misa who was still standing amongst her friends, “And you better get out of my sight right now.” Misa moved nearly at a run towards her next class, as some of her friends snickered as they walked past them.

“Come on, let me get you back to bed,” Light said helping Lawliet walk, “What the hell were you doing down here anyway?”

“You forgot your book,” Lawliet said looking down at the floor, the book had fallen from his hands, wide open and on its pages. Light sighed and shook his head.

“You fool, you know you ‘re not supposed to be moving around like this. I can’t believe you got out of the room without Wammy seeing you and he’s going to be pissed about this.” Light answered reaching down for the book.

“He was probably in his office, usually is during academic hours,” Lawliet said trying not to grimace, “I’m sorry I thought you needed it and especially since you left it because you were fussing with me this morning.” 

“I appreciate it Lawliet but honestly, it wouldn’t have been a big deal, I have my notes. Think how I’d feel if you’d been really hurt just because I forgot a book.” Lawliet shrugged as they slowly made it up the stairs.

“Now I’ve just embarrassed you, I’m sorry,” he said.

“You didn’t embarrass me, that stupid bitch did,” Light nearly spat and Lawliet chuckled.

“Such language Mr. Yagami, I’ve never heard you say such things.” 

“This is just the beginning, you have no idea what you’re going to hear if you do anything like this again.” Light warned him as they made it back into their apartment. Lawliet chuckled again and allowed Light to put him back to bed without argument. After checking his bandages to make sure he wasn’t bleeding Light leaned over and kissed him.

“Now can you behave yourself until I finish my classes or do I have to get Wammy?” he asked and Lawliet smiled at him.

“I promise I won’t move from here until you get back,” he said and Light nodded satisfied. He kissed him again before going to the door.

“Don’t forget you promised!” Light called before he went out making Lawliet laugh. He settled down in the bed feeling sore and exhausted. He reached up to touch the spot on his face that Misa had slapped, still feeling the heat from it when he did.

“I owe you one Miss Amane,” he said and was slightly startled when his phone went off. He reached to his bedside table where it was lying and picked it up, expecting it to be Wammy about to yell at him.

“Hello?” he sad as contritely as he could, but he wasn’t prepared for what he heard in answer.

“Oh what’s wrong brother dear, not feeling well?”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the length of time before this update. I went to Florida for ten days and it took me a while to get my mind back to where it was before I left. Hope it's okay!!
> 
> Hugs!
> 
> Dotti

Metamorphosis 24

 

Wammy finally made it back to his quarters and turned on the monitors to Lawliet’s apartment. He had just heard of the altercation between he and Misa and he decided to give himself a few minutes to get control of his anger before going to see the young man. He couldn’t imagine what possessed him to venture down into the school area in his condition; but he was going to find out. First he’d make sure he hadn’t caused himself damage, but right after that he was planning to have several stern words with him ad renew the threat about restraints. But for a few moments he would just see how Lawliet was doing until he calmed down. As he watched, he became concerned when he saw the boy on the phone and looking extremely upset. He turned and walked out of his room quickly.

Lawliet stopped breathing, everything within him feeling like jelly as BB’s voice went through him.

“Lawliet? Are you there?” he heard, accompanied by a slight giggle.

“I…what do you want?” he finally managed to get out.

“I’m just checking to see how you are, I heard you finally left the hospital. I wanted to make sure you were healing well.”

“I’m fine Beyond,” Lawliet told him trying to keep his voice level and steady, “ Not that you really care anyway. Is there anything else because I really don’t have anything to say to you.”

“I imagined not, but I have a few things to say to you. I’ve been told that part of my recovery depends on my getting things off of my chest, letting go of certain emotions. So to begin with, I would like to say that I am sorry for Light’s injuries, I didn’t mean to hurt him, so I’m glad he’s healed.” Lawliet said nothing, waiting to see where he was going with this.

“I also did not mean to cause you such grievous injuries either, obviously I was not myself. That doesn’t mean that I’m not upset with you Lawliet; I still feel all of this was because of your putting your nose into what didn’t concern you. Our relationship, which was never very good anyway, is irreparably damaged in my opinion; I see no way this can be repaired, can you?”

“I suppose not, but you’ve always hated me anyway, so this really amounts to nothing new,” Lawliet answered.

“I never hated you until now Lawliet,” Beyond told him, “But I never really liked you either, I simply tolerated you. But right now, I do hate you because you are the cause of all of this. You couldn’t leave well enough alone, you couldn’t leave Alexander alone.” L frowned.

“I was trying to help…”

“By putting him in your little group? Helping him do what I didn’t want him to do? You were meddling Lawliet, wanting him to look on you with favor, trying to take the one thing I had away from me.” Lawliet shook his head against the phone.

“No…no Beyond I never thought that! I admit that maybe I thought it was something I could do for him that you couldn’t, but I would never try to take him from you. Why would I, when I have Light?”

“Why? Because you like being above me, having what I don’t have, being better than I am. You have your little project; your little “L” will be the best detective in the world one-day project. Wammy has always doted on you from day one, breaks rules for you, creates an entire world and persona for you and even creates lackeys to back you up in case you get the sniffles. I decide to opt out at being one of your lackeys and you find a way to pull Alexander back in, just to spite me.”

“That isn’t true Beyond…” Lawliet protested quietly, not hearing the sudden knocking on his front door.

“But it’s okay because he’s with me now, and you won’t ever be able to get your hooks into him again. So you see dear brother, it all started with you and you have to take as much responsibility for what happened as I do. Just as I’m paying for what I’ve done, one day you’ll have to pay for what you did.” Lawliet hung his head, Beyond’s words suddenly making sense to him, filling him with guilt.

“You’re right, “ he said almost in a whisper, tears sliding down his face, “I am responsible for pushing you too far; I didn’t mean to Beyond, I really didn’t…” 

“Lawliet! What’s wrong?” he looked up startled to see Wammy standing at the foot of his bed, who then moved quickly to take the phone, “Who is this?” he demanded.

“Ahhh Wammy coming to his rescue yet again,” Beyond murmured into his ear.

“Beyond? What is the meaning of this? What have you said to him?” Wammy asked in alarm as Lawliet slid down into the bed, turning his back to him.

“I’m merely doing my doctors’ bidding, expressing my feelings so they don’t fester and grow inside and make me violent again. You have no idea how much better I feel. Good-night Wammy.” Wammy heard the unnerving giggle and the click as the call was ended then turned to Lawliet. He had come in to give him a piece of his mind after hearing what transpired outside of Light’s classroom, but now that was all but forgotten. He reached down and placed his hand on Lawliet’s shoulder.

“Son, I don’t know what he said but…”

“He said this whole thing was my fault, and he was right, this was all my fault. I pushed him into losing his mind and hurting us. I’m sorry…” Wammy sighed and shook his head.

“Nothing you did warranted his behavior Lawliet, Beyond has always been walking a thin line of control and that isn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself for what happened, he’s simply trying to prey on your mind, don’t let him do that.” Lawliet wiped at his eyes then turned around to face him.

“My first thought was to help A, he was practically distraught when he was talking to me about feeling useful, and I just wanted to help him. I did feel that I had something over Beyond in that I could do something to make A happy that he couldn’t, but I wasn’t trying to come between them, I wasn’t trying to make A like me more than Beyond. I never meant to hurt Beyond in anyway!” 

“You don’t have to tell me that Lawliet, I know all of that. But Beyond isn’t going to accept all the responsibility for what he’s done, I don’t think he can mentally handle that burden so of course he’s going to put some on your shoulders. It wasn’t your fault what A did; and it was that act that pushed Beyond over the edge, not anything that you did.”

Lawliet listened and nodded his head, running a hand through his hair. “I guess not,” he admitted and sighed, “but I’m sure he’s going to try and make me pay somehow.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Wammy said with a smile, “I’m sure it’s going to be quite a while before he leaves the hospital, and when he does this will all be behind him and probably forgotten.” Lawliet nodded again and took a deep breath.

“Thank you Wammy,” he said and began to lie down again, “I’m suddenly very tired.” He added.

“I can’t imagine why,” Wammy said crossing his arms, “It’s not as if you went downstairs to the classrooms and got attacked by an irate young woman. I simply don’t understand.” Lawliet cringed under the blankets, not wanting to look back at Wammy.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “Light forgot his book, I thought he would need it. I didn’t expect Misa…”

“I’m sure you didn’t. I trust you have learned your place is in this bed, or at most on the couch until you have healed sufficiently?” Lawliet nodded again, still refusing to look at him. Wammy sighed and gently touched his shoulder.  
“  
“Fine, then that is all I have to say about the matter. Let me look at your bandages, I wish to make sure there’s no bleeding,” L nodded and Wammy pulled back the sheets to inspect his back. When he was satisfied there had been no harm done he pulled the blankets back over Lawliet. “I’ll postpone the meeting for this evening here; I’ll have the others meet with me in my apartment. You get some rest and don’t worry about Beyond. I will see you with dinner in a while.” Lawliet nodded again, barely this time as he had begun to fall asleep. Wammy left the room and went into the living room just as Light came flying through the door, relieved to see that Wammy was there.

“How is he, he didn’t open up any wounds did he?” he asked dropping everything he was carrying onto the couch.

“No, he appears to be fine, simply exhausted of course,” he answered, “He did receive a rather unsettling call from Beyond.” Light stared at the older man in shock.

“Beyond? Why?” he asked heading for the bedroom.

“As a pretense of clearing his mind of volatile emotions, when in reality it was to share the blame of what happened with Lawliet, and to suggest that he also had to pay for his part in the fiasco. It upset him, but I told him it was only Beyond trying to unsettle his mind, there was no truth in what he said and that seemed to calm him somewhat. He is sleeping now.”

Light turned to see that Lawliet was indeed sleeping peacefully, sighed and closed the door to the room.

“I imagine you know what happened between he and Misa earlier?” he asked coming back into the living room.

“Yes, and there will have to be something done about that, but I’ll let Roger set whatever punishment she is to get; I may not be particularly fair about it.” He answered with a smile and Light smiled back.

“I understand, believe me,” he looked back at the bedroom door and turned back to Wammy. “I never got a chance to thank you for allowing me to stay after my father turned on me, you didn’t have to do that.” 

“There is no need to thank me, Light. You are so very close to graduating, you have already been through so much, and Lawliet…well Lawliet would have never accepted anything else. I know what you mean to him, he would have left with you,” he smiled again, “And I couldn’t have that could I?” Light chuckled and shook his head.

“No, I guess not,” he answered, “You really think of Lawliet as your own son don’t you?” he asked and Wammy turned his gaze back on the closed door and nodded.

“I have from the moment he first arrived here at age 10,” he said with a smile, “All the children here are brilliant but there was something about Lawliet that made him so very different from the others, and his need for acceptance while on the outside he acted as if he couldn’t care less. As I’m sure you know, that exterior hides a fragile interior and that he believes all he has is his intelligence. I have tried to make him realize there is more to him than that, something I believe your relationship with him has helped a great deal,” he sighed and then turned back to Light, “I must go and make sure I have all the files ready for this evening. You are all ready to start working your own cases and I have several new ones available to you, so I will see you later.” Light nodded and walked him to the door. “Although I’m sure he’s learned his lesson, make sure he stays where he is for the rest of the evening.”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll make sure,” Light promised before closing the door behind him. He was about to go into the kitchen and make something when there was a knock on the door. He turned back and opened it and found Near on the other side holding a small bag.

“I heard Lawliet was back and I just wanted to see how he was,” the young Albino told him, “Is he okay?” Light nodded.

“He is,” he answered, “In spite of his being attacked by Misa earlier.” 

“Oh then that did happen,” Near said, “I heard something about that as well but it didn’t seem to make much sense to me, even for Misa.” Light laughed and shook his head.

“Yea, well unfortunately it is the type of thing she‘s capable of,” he gestured toward the bedroom door, “He’s sleeping right now otherwise I’m sure he’d be glad to see you. Maybe by tonight’s meeting he’ll be awake and you can visit then.” Near nodded.

“Oh I almost forgot, here’s a kind of welcome home gift, jelly beans. I know he likes them a lot and he probably hasn’t had any for a while.” He said offering the bag. Light took the bag with a smile and nodded.

“He’s going to love this, thanks Near,” he said, “See you later.” Near smiled and nodded and turned to leave as Light closed the door. He walked into the bedroom and placed the bag of jellybeans on the side table by the bed. He set the alarm on his watch for two hours later, kicked off his shoes, climbed into the bed next to Lawliet wrapping a protective arm around him and snuggling against him.


	25. Chapter 25

I am so sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up, between real life getting in the way and my own difficulty in getting this one together, it took a lot longer than I suspected. I hope the fact that it is a good sized chapter will help! 

Hugs,

Dotti  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Metamorphosis 25

 

Mello snapped another piece of his chocolate bar as he listened to Matt tell him about his meeting with A. They were both sitting outside by the lake watching the younger students enjoy their recess. Now that they ‘d made the offer to A and he had taken it, the next thing to worry about was how B was going to handle the news.

“He seemed happy to know we were looking out for A when I spoke to him,” he said, “He even thanked me, so I don’t think it’s going to be a problem that we take him with us. Who knows how long he’s going to be locked away in the first place, A can’t stop living because he made a mistake.”

Matt pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. “You do know they’re going to move Beyond in a few days to a facility and out of the hospital, right?” he asked and Mello nodded with a sigh.

“Yea, I know,” Mello answered laying back on the grass, “They wanted to send him to Broadmoore…” Matt nearly dropped his cigarette.

“Broadmoore? That’s the high security one where they keep serial killers right? Holy shit that would have been awful…” he said and Mello nodded his agreement.

“Wammy got it changed to Maudsley, reminding him that he hadn’t killed anyone and he certainly wasn’t a serial killer. Apparently there’s a private floor there that’s used for special people, not the general public, and somehow Wammy got him on that floor. Makes me wonder just who Wammy really is that he’s able to do things like that.” Matt ran a hand through his hair, pulling his goggles up over his head.

“”Who knows but thank God he is whatever he is,” he said, “That place…I’ve heard nothing but horror stories about Broadmoore, it’s more like a prison than a hospital. Beyond couldn’t have taken it being in there.”

“Nope, he would have really gone insane there. As it is, I worry that he’s never going to be himself again anyway, not really.” Matt reached over and took Mello’s hand.

“Yea, I know you worry about that, I do too a little. He’s…different and I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is, but I think eventually he’s going to get through this.” Mello nodded then reached up and pulled Matt down on top of him.

“Every time I look at A I think about what I would do if it were me, if you were locked away from me.” He ran his fingers through the red hair before grabbing a fistful and pulling Matt down and into a kiss; Matt barely blowing his smoke out in time.  
-_  
“I know what I’d do,” he finally answered himself when his lips left Matt’s, “I’d lose my fucking mind. You’re everything to me Matt; I don’t think I could function without you anymore.” Matt grinned at him as he moved hair from in front of the blonde’s eyes.

“I know you’re helpless without me, but that’s okay, I enjoy having job security,” he leaned down to kiss him again when he heard the sound of someone clearing their throat above him. They both looked up to see Wammy standing in front of them, his arms crossed against his chest, and unhappy look on his face. 

“Have I not made it clear that public displays of affection are not to be done?” he asked them sternly, trying not to laugh as they scrambled quickly away from each other and standing up, Matt hastily dropping the cigarette and stepping on it as he stood up.

“Sorry,” Matt apologized, “I guess we got a little carried away.”

“So it appears,” Wammy agreed, “You know I have no problem with your relationship, however, I cannot speak for every teacher here and I dislike getting phone calls from teachers complaining of lewd behavior in plain view of the younger children.”

“Lewd behavior?” Mello nearly yelled, “We just kissed, it’s not as if we were naked and humping in the grass!” Matt chuckled then stopped when Wammy’s eyes moved to stare at him.

“For some with narrow minds two young men kissing is considered lewd behavior, and not appropriate behavior in front of children, I’m sure I don’t have to explain that to you,” Wammy explained, “Now, come with me, I wish to discuss everything you’ve dealt with in your visits with Beyond and Alexander.” As he turned and walked away, Mello nodded, looking across to where the children were playing and eyeing what teachers were out there, wondering which ones had complained. Matt saw him and punched his shoulder.

“Stop it, it’s not worth trying to figure out which one ratted on us,” he said knowing his boyfriend far too well.

“Yea, well it would be worth it to me,” Mello nearly growled and then sighed, “But you’re right, it would cause more trouble than it’s worth.” He reached down and took Matt’s hand, “If they don’t like handholding they can suck my…”

“Mello!” Wammy turned back on him sudden, “I would rather not hear what you are suggesting they suck, thank you very much.” Matt burst out laughing as Mello’s face reddened; he hadn’t thought Wammy could hear him. He turned on the laughing Matt and pushed him so that he fell over into the grass; still laughing.

 

The soft knocking finally wormed its way into Light’s subconscious and he woke, sitting up and looking around as to where that sound was coming from. He rubbed his eyes and realized someone was at the door. He looked down at the still sleeping Lawliet and smiled, then slid out of the bed quietly and walked out of the bedroom.

 

“Hey,” he said in surprise as he discovered A on the other side of the door, “Come on in.”

“Thank you,” A said quietly, “I could understand if you said no…” Light yawned and shook his head.

“Don’t be silly,” he said closing the door behind him, “Lawliet’s still asleep, I’m sure you heard about what happened in the halls.” A nodded.

“Yea, that’s part of the reason I’m here, I wanted to make sure he was alright. I mean, in reality, it’s my fault you were both hurt in the first place.” Light sighed and shook his head.

“It’s not your fault that Beyond became violent; there were other ways to handle what he thought had happened that didn’t involve a knife,” he smiled, “You want something to drink we’ve got juice and ginger beer.” A nodded giving him a grateful smile.

“Ginger beer would be great,” he answered as Light opened the fridge, “And if you don’t mind, I wonder if I could talk to you about something.” Light pulled two bottles of the soft drink from the fridge then handed one to A.

“Of course, is something wrong?” he asked moving towards the couch, “Has something happened to BB?” A shook his head as he joined Light on the couch.

“I don’t know if you were aware of the fact that they’re moving BB from the hospital to a facility where he can continue to get better,” he began and Light nodded.

“I did hear that, do you know where he’s going?”

“Maudsley in London,” A answered, “Wammy says it’s a good place, and maybe he’ll be out of there in six months to a year, depending on how he does.”

“He’s probably right, BB isn’t insane he’s just ill, I’m sure he’ll do well and get out quickly, then you two can get on with your lives.” Light said before taking a sip.

“Yea, that’s what Wammy said too, and he’s supposed to go there in two days but I don’t think they‘ve told him yet. I think they want me and Wammy there when they tell him, just in case he gets…you know…upset about the move.”

“Well, I guess that makes sense, to have you both there for support,” Light agreed.

“I know, but I also have to tell him about the plans that I’ve made for after graduation with Matt and Mello. They’ve offered to take me with them, to work with them until BB gets out, I’m just afraid how he’s going to see it. I’d talk to Mello about it but he’s too close to BB, I don’t think he can be objective.” Light sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“My advice is not to tell him anything until after this move, that’s going to be upsetting enough to him that anything else might push him too far. We’ve still got several months before graduation, plenty of time to let him know about that.”

“That’s what I was thinking too, I just don’t want him to think I’m hiding anything.”

“You’re not, you’re just waiting for the best time to tell him and after the move would be the best time,” Light advised as he finished his drink, then looked up as there was a quick knock at the door before it opened and Wammy came in pushing a trolley. Both teens stood up as he came in.

“I thought I’d bring food for you and Lawliet,” Wammy said as he pushed the trolley into the room, “A…I didn’t know you were here, but I’m sure there’s enough here if you’d like to join them.” The blonde shook his head.

“No, thank you Mr. Wammy,” he said putting his bottle down, “I only came to see how Lawliet was and bounce some ideas off of Light,” he sighed, “And I’ll be ready whenever you want to go see BB about the move.” Wammy nodded as he took things from the trolley and placed them on the table.

“After dinner this evening, about 8:00 p.m.,” he answered and A nodded before turning to Light.

“Thank you for talking to me,” he said before going to the door, “Tell Lawliet I hope he feels better soon.” 

“It was no problem,” Light answered, “And I’ll tell him, but you can probably see him later this evening anyway, I’m sure he’ll be awake soon.” A smiled and with one more quick nod he left the apartment. Light looked at Wammy as he continued to work on their dinner.

“Thanks Wammy, this looks great,” he said, “Everything Lawliet likes.” Wammy smiled.

“Yes, I thought I’d treat him a bit, he’s been through quite a lot,” he answered, “I…” he stopped when he heard the bedroom door open to reveal a very sleepy looking Lawliet who was rubbing his eyes.

“I smelled something good,” he said as he tried to hide a yawn, “And I realized I’m very hungry.” Light chuckled as he moved quickly to Lawliet’s side, putting an arm around him to help him stand.

“You should have stayed in bed, I would have brought something to you,” he scolded and Lawliet shook his head.

“Can I please just sit on the couch for a while, I’m really tired of the bed,” Lawliet whined. Light looked at Wammy and he nodded.

“Okay, you can sit on the couch for a little while,” Light told him as he moved him over and sat him down. He smoothed down some of Lawliet’s hair that was even wilder than normal after being in bed and kissed his forehead. “How are you feeling?” he asked, frowning slightly at the bruise that had formed on his face from Misa’s hit.

“Other than a little groggy, I feel fine, “ Lawliet answered trying to look past Light to the table, “Everything smells so good…” he said and Light chuckled as Wammy brought over a dish filled with food and placed it on the coffee table in front of the teen.

“Here you are, I’m sure there’s a lot more taste in this than in the hospital food you‘ve been eating for the past two weeks,” he said with a smile, then frowned himself when he saw the bruise on Lawliet’s face. “My she did use a great deal of force didn’t she?” he said placing his fingers under the boy’s chin and examining the mark. Lawliet pulled his face away, still embarrassed over the situation. 

“I’m fine,” he grumbled as he reached for his plate.

“I could kill her for that,” Light nearly growled, his anger returning as he thought about what could have happened.

“No talking of killing anyone,” Wammy said turning to look at him, “After recent events even saying it in jest is no longer allowed.” Light’s eyes narrowed as his gaze traveled from Lawliet’s face to Wammy’s.

“I didn’t say I was jesting,” he said the anger still strong, “She could have sent him back to the hospital, she could have really hurt him…” 

“Light, I’m fine,” Lawliet soothed reaching out and taking the brunette’s hand and smiling at him, “So take a deep breath and stop being angry. Get something to eat and join me.” Light ran a hand through his hair and did take a deep breath before smiling back.

“Okay, I guess I am pretty hungry now that I think about it,” he squeezed Lawliet’s hand before turning and getting something to eat. Wammy went into the kitchen and made himself a cup of tea, then joined the teens in the living room.

“I thought I should bring you up-to-date on what’s happening with Alexander and Beyond,” he said stirring his tea, “Because ultimately it will affect you.” 

Lawliet stopped mid-bite and shook his head. “I don’t care what’s happening with Beyond, anymore than he cares what’s happening with me. Our relationship as brothers or anything else is over.”

“I understand your feelings Lawliet,” Wammy said, “But for your own peace of mind…”

“I don’t care Wammy!” Lawliet shouted startling both Light and Wammy. Light reached out and rubbed his back.

“It’s okay Lawliet, calm down,” he soothed, noticing that the teen had begun to tremble. He looked up at Wammy and shook his head, suggesting that nothing more be said about Beyond. The older man understood and nodded.

“Alright Lawliet nothing more will be said,” he said and finished his tea before standing up. “I have an appointment in a bit and we will have out meeting when I return. I think you should sit this one out, Lawliet.” 

“That sounds good,” Light said continuing to rub Lawliet’s back, “He could use the extra night’s rest anyway.” Lawliet turned to look at him, a grateful smile on his face even if it didn’t reach his wide eyes that were still filled with unease. Wammy rested a hand on Lawliet’s shoulder.”

“I’m sorry Wammy, I…I didn’t mean to raise my voice to you,” he apologized.

“It’s alright, I understand. For right now just enjoy your dinner, and I’ll check on you when I return,” he said with a smile, getting a nod from the teen before he turned and left the apartment. He was quite concerned about Lawliet’s obvious fear of Beyond. While it would be natural for him to be wary after everything that had happened, the depth of the fear seemed excessive. He’d deal with that later, right now he had to deal with telling Beyond he was being moved.

When he had closed the door behind him, Lawliet sighed heavily and looked at Light in embarrassment.

“I’m really sorry I did that, it just…I just…I’m terrified of Beyond Light, I’m so afraid of what he might do to me if he ever gets out…” Light put down his dinner and pulled Lawliet to him, wrapping his arms around him.

“Of course you ‘re afraid of him, he tried to fucking kill us. Believe me I’m not overly thrilled with him either right now but I’m also sure that by the time we see him again he’ll be well and not a danger to us. I know it’s got to be worse for you, you’re brothers and no matter how much you didn’t get along before, this is the last thing you expected to happen. Don’t apologize, I understand.” Lawliet clung to Light’s shirt, his face buried against his chest as he fought against tears.

“I love you Light,” he whispered against him. Light reached down and pulled him away from his chest, moving wild hair from his face, before leaning down to kiss him gently.

“I love you too, and you’ll get through this. Right now let’s just work on you getting stronger and finish healing; let’s not think about Beyond.” Lawliet nodded and reached up running fingers through Light’s hair.

“Let me help you back to bed, then I’ll clean this up and lie down with you until time for the meeting; we can watch some TV.” He kissed the top of Lawliet’s head before wrapping an arm around him to help him stand. He brought him back into the bedroom, got him into bed and then kissed him again.

“I’ll be right back, I’m just going to put the dishes away.” 

“Okay, I’ll pick out something to watch,” Lawliet said grabbing the remote as Light walked out of the room, “Bring back a snack!” he added making Light laugh; as long as Lawliet wanted his sweets he knew he was okay.

BB was startled awake by the sound of the door opening in his room. He sat up quickly hoping to see A again, but instead it was two male orderlies and his doctor. He knew immediately something was up, they had never brought in two assistants before, usually just one along with the doctor or nurse that was going to treat him. His eyes narrowed as he stared at them.

“Good evening Beyond,” the doctor said far too cheerfully for BB’s liking, “I’m sorry to wake you but I have something to discuss with you. I originally wanted to wait until your family members had arrived but unfortunately the timing has changed and we need to get moving now.”

“What are you talking about?” BB asked as the two orderlies flanked either side of him; the doctor pulling a chair closer to him.

“We are simply the psychiatric floor of the hospital,” the doctor began, “You have been coming along just fine, however, we believe you’re going to need more in-depth and sustained care to get you to the point where you can leave and live your life the way you wish to. In that vein, we are going to move you to Maudsley Hospital, an institution where you can get the best care possible.” 

BB was furious but he knew if he showed the least bit of anger or tried to fight it, they ‘d only restrain him again and he didn’t want that. Why wasn’t A here? Did he even know they were moving him? Would A know where to find him? He fought back the panic, keeping himself breathing as naturally as he could. He nodded and looked up at the doctor.

“Alright, fine, I understand,” he said finally, “But can I see Alexander first so that he knows where I’m going?” he asked. The doctor shook his head.

“We’ll contact him and let him know that you’re going,” he said, “We were planning to move you in a couple of days so you could get used to the idea, but it appears they want to get you there tonight so they can set up tests and evaluations first thing in the morning. So there’s no time for that right now, I’m afraid.” He tried to fight it but he could feel the panic rising inside of him. 

“But I have to talk to him first, I have to make sure he knows…I can’t just leave he’ll be worried…” he began and the doctor nodded at the two others who moved closer to BB.

“I understand your concern and this was not the way we had planned it, but we have no choice in the matter.” He stood up and reached into his pocket, going over to the IV set up by BB’s bed. One of the orderlies reconnected the IV to the port in BB’s hand. 

“Now you just lie down and relax, I’m going to give you something to let you sleep and when you wake up, you‘ll be in your new room.” BB shook his head, he didn’t want to go to sleep, he wanted to talk to A, he had to talk to A, he was terrified of what was happening and he needed A. 

“No…please let me talk to Alexander first, please…” he begged, something he never did and he hated it. His only answer was to be forced down on his back as the doctor injected the medication into the IV.

“You just relax Beyond, and you’ll be there soon,” he said soothingly. Beyond thought quickly and allowed himself to relax, let his eyes flutter closed. The Doctor watched him for a moment then nodded to the other two to let him go. They did and they all turned and walked out of the room, the door locking behind them. The moment they were gone BB turned on his side, knowing his back was to the security camera, reached across with one hand and slowly removed the iv from the port in the other hand. After a few moments he slid the needle into the bandage next to the port so it looked as if it were still connected to him. He began to take deep breaths, realizing that if he’d waited just a moment more it would have been too late and he would have been asleep.

His mind worked on what he would do; he didn’t understand why A wasn’t there, why he didn’t tell him himself that they were going to move him when he was there earlier. Did Matt and Mello know and they just didn’t tell him either? He tried to fight the feeling of betrayal that was creeping in on him, they were his best friends, and they wouldn’t do that to him. But he had to see A, he had to let him know they were taking him away before it was too late.

After about ten minutes he decided the medicine had passed thru and out of the IV and it would be safe for him to put it back into the port. Moving very slowly he did just that, waiting for a moment to see if he felt drowsy at all and when he didn’t he smiled. They’d think he was out cold, put him into some kind of ambulance and try to transport him, but it wouldn’t work. He wasn’t going anywhere except to see A.

Just as Wammy was making his way to the car, smiling when he saw A was already there waiting for him, his phone rang. He opened the doors and slid in beside A as he answered, surprised it was the hospital.

“Quillish Wammy; Good evening doctor, yes, well we’re on our way,” he said, “We should be there in about ten…what do you mean it’s too late?”

A’s heart nearly stopped when he heard those words; what did he mean it was too late? “Wammy what’s happened? Is BB okay?” he asked and then nearly backed away when he saw the look of intense anger on Wammy’s face.

“Have you any idea how incredibly stupid and dangerous this action is? We will be at Maudsley as quickly as possible.” He closed the phone and looked at A.

“They decided to move Beyond without waiting for us to arrive; we’ve got to get to Maudsley immediately!” A tried not to panic as he flew into the car, but his heart was racing in fear. 

“Why Mr. Wammy, why did they do that when they knew we were coming?” he asked as the car took off down the driveway.

”Because they’re incredibly stupid,” Wammy nearly growled, “Be ready for anything from Beyond when we get there; I’m sure he will feel betrayed and frightened and this will put his advances at risk.” A nodded and sat back in the seat, terrified of what he would find when he saw Beyond.

Beyond continued to feign sleep, listening to everything that was happening as they placed him in a stretcher and moved him out of the building and into a waiting ambulance. He endured their checking his vitals and securing the stretcher so it wouldn’t move during the drive. One attendant stayed by his side as the other went to drive the vehicle. As they began to move, BB risked cracking open one eye to see his surroundings. The attendant was sitting on his right side watching the traffic outside of the ambulance rather than watching him. He imagined it was because he was supposed to be asleep, what kind of trouble would a sleeping teen be. There was only one strap across his abdomen to keep him from falling from the stretcher, but his hands and arms were free and most importantly, so were his legs.

The rational side of him told him this was wrong, it was only going to make things worse, he should wait until he could get in contact with A. But what if they didn’t let him talk to A? There had to be a reason why A didn’t tell him about the move and it could only be because he didn’t know, this was all being done in secret; keeping A away from him. He wouldn’t let that happen. He suddenly reached up and grabbed the attendant by his shoulders, pulling him down quickly towards his knees that he immediately brought up as hard as he could, smashing them into the attendants face. He heard the crunch of the cartilage in the attendant’s nose, saw blood fly as the man fell forward on to the stretcher and then sliding off onto the floor, out cold. He quickly undid the strap across his abdomen and sat up going to the door. He looked out of the window trying to gauge how fast they were going and if there was any traffic behind them. At the moment it seemed clear and he realized it was probably his best chance, he took a deep breath, threw open the doors and jumped out of the moving ambulance, rolling as he landed trying to aim himself to the side of the road to get out of traffic.

When he finally stopped rolling he lay there for a few minutes trying to catch his breath and check himself to see if he broke anything. He could see the back end of the ambulance as it continued down the highway; apparently the driver hadn’t realized what had happened yet, but soon would. He sat up and checked himself, scratched and scraped but nothing worse than that. He got up and made his way to the other side of the street and stuck out his thumb, hoping to get a ride quickly. They hadn’t been on the road that long, he should have no trouble getting back to Wammy’s fairly quickly as long as he got a ride soon.

Wammy and A pulled up in front of Maudsley, with A practically running out of the car before it had stopped moving. Wammy went to the desk and asked for BB’s room, and the receptionist shook her head.

“This patient has not been brought in yet, he has not yet arrived.” Wammy looked at A and back at the receptionist.

“But that’s not possible, he was picked up from the hospital almost an hour ago, he should have been here by now.” The receptionist shook her head then picked up her phone and dialed the director and asked about the patient. As she listened she looked shocked and then hung up, looking up at Wammy.

“It seems there’s been a problem, the patient managed to escape from the ambulance…” before she could finish Wammy and A had both run out of the building back to the car.

“If he’s escaped he’s on his way back to Wammy’s, probably going to find you because he doesn’t understand why he was being moved and you weren’t there…” A fought back the panic as he thought about what B could have done.

“Did he hurt the ambulance driver? He didn’t…”

“I don’t believe he killed him if that’s what you’re worried about,” Wammy said, “But I’m sure he had to injure him somehow to get away. We’ve got to get back to Wammy’s, if he doesn’t find you he’s going to go after Lawliet. They jumped into the car and took off immediately, heading back to the school.

After the movie, Light looked at his watch and sighed. “I need to go to the meeting,” he said sitting up and kissing Lawliet’s forehead. “Promise me you’ll behave yourself until I get back.” Lawliet pouted but then nodded.

“I’ll stay right here and watch television,” he said, “Could you get me some more strawberries and tea before you leave and then I should be fine.” Light chuckled and kissed him softly.

“More strawberries? Absolutely,” he leaned forward and kissed him again, this time deeply and with as much love as he could put into it. “I can’t wait until you’re healed again, we were only able to make love once before all of this happened.” Lawliet nodded and caressed his face.

“I know, I have a lot to make up to you and just as soon as I can, you know I will,” he said and leaned up and kissed him back, “I love you Light, thank you for staying with me.” Light smiled and nodded.

“Don’t thank me, I couldn’t leave if I wanted to; I love you Lawliet, even if you are a pain in the ass.” He laughed and then ducked as Lawliet swung at him then went out to get his strawberries and tea.

BB thanked the young man who gave him a ride to just outside of Wammy’s and jumped out of the car. He made his way to the wall that surrounded the property and looked to see if any of the guards were patrolling the walls. He noticed there were only a couple and he knew his way in and out of this place and made his way to a part of the wall that was very rarely patrolled, climbing up the wall and scurrying over it and across the grounds to the front door.

Once inside he put on the persona of his brother, making his way to his old room, assuming A would be there. He opened the door and went inside, quickly closing the door behind him. “A?” he called, “A it’s me, where are you?” he looked around the room and realized his lover wasn’t there. What did that mean? Was he with Mello and Matt perhaps? He nodded and headed to their room and stopped before knocking…he could tell by the sounds coming from behind the door that they were obviously alone hearing the sounds of kissing. He smiled to himself; A certainly wouldn’t be in there with all that going on. He stopped smiling when he realized the only other place A had to be then; with Lawliet. If he wasn’t in their room, and not with Matt and Mello, where else could he be? His eyes narrowed and he growled to himself, moving towards the stairway towards Lawliet’s apartment. He ducked his head several times as students walked by, thinking he was his brother and asking if he was feeling better, his only answer a cursory nod.

Light made his way to Wammy’s apartment running into Near along the way. The white haired genius smiled at him as he got closer.

“Hey Light, how’s Lawliet tonight?” Light smiled back as he answered.

“Doing very well Near, shoving as many sweets down his throat as possible,” they both laughed and then went inside the apartment just as Matt and Mello came up behind him. He looked around the apartment surprised he didn’t see Wammy.

“This is a first, Wammy not being here,” he said still looking around. 

“He and A had to go visit BB,” Mello said walking in, “To let him know he was being moved so he wouldn’t freak out when it happened. It might be taking them longer than they expected.” Light nodded his understanding.

“Lawliet wouldn’t even talk about BB,” he said, “Wammy tried to tell him what was going on and he just freaked.”

“Can’t say I blame him,” Matt answered, “It’s gotta do something to you when your own flesh and blood tries to kill you.” Light nodded and then sat down.

“Has anyone heard from Wammy at all?” he asked noting the time.

“No, and it’s not like him to be late, even if he had something else to do, without calling,” Near said, his fingers twirling in his hair.

Light shook his head. “No, it’s not like him,” he reached to take his phone out of his pocket, “I think I should…” before he could finish his phone rang in his hand and he laughed, “It’s Wammy, what are the odds…” he said answering the call.

Beyond made it upstairs and to Lawliet’s door without a problem. He tried the door and of course it was unlocked, Lawliet never locked a door. He went inside and gently closed the door behind him; looking around to see if he could see or hear A anywhere. He could hear the television in the bedroom and decided that’s where they had to be, which didn’t make him happy at all. He made his way into the kitchen, opening drawers quietly until he found what he needed then walked to the bedroom.

“Wammy this is so unlike you to be late,” Light said, “I hope everything’s okay…”

“No, nothing is okay,” Wammy said, “Where are you right now?”

“In your apartment,” Light said filled with sudden worry, “Why what’s happened?”

“Beyond has escaped and I believe once he finds out that A isn’t there he will confront Lawliet. You need to get to him and make sure he’s safe, I should be there very shortly.” Light cursed, closed the call and began to move at the same time.

“BB has escaped,” he said to everyone who was staring at him in concern, “Wammy thinks he’s on his way here…I’ve got to get to Lawliet!” he turned and ran out of the room, followed by the others.

BB made his way to the bedroom and stopped at the door. Lawliet was sitting up in bed eating strawberries and watching television, but A was nowhere to be seen. Where could he be if he wasn’t here? He walked into the room, one hand behind his back.

“Where is he Lawliet? What have you done with him?” Lawliet’s head snapped up, his worst fear materialized in front of him. He backed up against the back of the bed as far as he could.

“How did you get out? How did you get here?” he cried, his heart beating wildly in fear; the smile on BB’s face not helping at all.

“They thought they could separate me from A,” BB said moving closer to him, “So that he couldn’t find me but I can’t let that happen. Is he here with you Lawliet? I can’t find him so I just assumed he was here…” he trailed off looking around the room, still keeping one hand behind his back.

“No no no he’s not here Beyond, I haven’t seen him since earlier today when he and Light were talking. Please….Beyond…don’t hurt me anymore…” he begged as he pressed himself against the wall.

“No…he’s not here,” Beyond said almost to himself, “But where is he then? Do you know?” he moved closer to Lawliet until he was nearly on top of him, “Tell me where he is!” he demanded pulling the arm from behind him and waving the knife he had taken from the kitchen. Lawliet screamed in fear, raising his arms in front of him to try to protect himself.

“I don’t know, I don’t know please I don’t know!!” he cried out, tears running down his face, his entire body trembling.

“NO!!! Don’t you hurt him again!” a scream of anger and fear came from behind them, Light screaming from the doorway as he tried to run in. 

“Don’t Light!” Lawliet screamed the warning remembering what happened the last time, and Mello and Matt grabbed Light before he could run in, afraid BB would turn on him if he did. BB turned around, his smile wavering for just a moment when he saw Light trying to run in. He then saw his best friend and began to move towards him.

“You stay where you are!” he shouted to Light then turned to his friend, “Mello they’re trying to take me away from A, and Lawliet won’t tell me where he is!” he said almost in a childlike whine, “I wasn’t going to hurt him unless he didn’t tell me where A is!” Mello let go of Light and shook his head walking towards BB, his hands outstretched. Matt knew if anyone other than A could calm him down it would be Mello, but he was terrified not knowing which way BB could go. 

“I know you don’t want to hurt anyone,” he said calmly, “You know A wouldn’t want you to hurt anyone again. He was on his way to see you, I guess he missed you before they were going to transport you. I’m sure he’s on his way here now, so please, just put down the knife.” BB listened, his own tears beginning to run down his face as he shook his head.

“He was coming, are you sure?” he asked lowering the knife as he talked.

“Yes BB he was on his way, he knew they were going to move you and he wanted to be there. Now he heard what happened and he’s on his way,” he kept walking towards him, “You didn’t hurt anyone on your way here did you?” he asked.

“I think I might broken a guy’s nose,” BB answered with a small chuckle, “But that’s all; I hitchhiked here but I didn’t hurt anyone,” he looked at Mello imploringly, “A’s going to be angry with me isn’t he?” Mello shook his head.

“No, he’s just worried about you, but he won’t be angry with you. Now, give me the knife, BB.” He asked, extending his hand even further to take the knife. BB began to hand it to him then snatched it back, shaking his head.

“Not until I see A,” he said stubbornly, “I’ll give it to A when I see him.” Light was still fighting with Matt for him to let him go so he could get to Lawliet. He could tell he was completely losing it curled up in the bed staring in terror at BB. 

“BB…please let me go to Lawliet,” he begged, “Please!” BB shook his head.

“Why should he have you when I don’t have A?” he asked turning back to look at Lawliet. “That just isn’t fair…”

He was interrupted by the sounds of sirens coming closer to the building, their flashing lights becoming visible through the windows. BB turned back to Mello in alarm.

“Don’t let them take me until I see A, don’t let them take me!” he begged.

“You have to give me the knife or they will,” Mello warned, “They don’t know you like I do BB, all they know is you escaped and you have a knife, that’s not good.”

“I don’t care, I have to see A first,” BB stubbornly insisted, “I’ll give it to him.”

“I’m here, give it to me BB,” A’s voice came from behind Light and Matt. He walked into the room and directly to BB until they were face to face, “Give me the knife.” He repeated again, holding out his hand. BB began to cry earnestly, dropping the knife into his lover’s hand then throwing his arms around him.

“They were going to take me away from you, where you couldn’t find me, I couldn’t let that happen.” He cried against him as A held him against his chest, handing the knife to Mello who quickly took it and moved to the kitchen, not wanting anyone in authority to think BB had it and make things worse. Light broke away from Matt and ran past A and BB to Lawliet, gathering the trembling teen in his arms, rocking him back and forth to try and calm him. 

Wammy had been keeping the police and Maudsley attendants at bay, telling them it was best they let A handle it, and moved aside to let them go into the room. A saw them coming and stroked BB’s back.

“BB, they’ve come to take you where you need to be so you’re safe,” he whispered, “I’m going to ride with you.” BB nodded against him then looked up at him tearfully.

“Are you mad at me? I had to see you,” he asked and A smiled at him.

“I’m not mad BB, but next time just call me, okay ?” he said and BB smiled and nodded as two attendants moved to either side of him, taking his arms. They moved him out of the room, accompanied by the police. A began to follow them and Wammy grabbed his arm.

“I’ll be following in the car. You did an excellent job,” he told him. A nodded then moved to catch up with BB.

Matt went to Mello and held him, this was unhappily reminiscent of the first time BB lost control, but at least this time there was no blood and BB seemed to be calmer after seeing A.

“That was amazing Mello,” he told him, “I just wish you’d stop scaring the piss out of me. God do I need a cigarette…” Mello had to chuckle at that and nodded.

“Yea and I could do with a breath of fresh air, and they need to be alone, come on,” he said gesturing towards Light and Lawliet. He took Matt’s hand and they walked out of the apartment. Near watched them go then looked at Wammy; he looked as if he’d aged a few years in just that few moments time. It had felt like forever but in reality it had only been less than ten minutes. 

“If you’d like, I can ride with you Wammy,” he said, “I don’t think you should be driving alone after all of this.” Wammy smiled at the young albino and nodded.

“I think I would appreciate that Near; just let me talk to Lawliet and I’ll be right with you.” 

“I’ll go down and wait at the car,” he said and went downstairs, weaving through the crowd of students that had gathered in the halls wondering what had happened.

Wammy went over to the two as they held each other, putting a hand on Light’s shoulder.

“He didn’t hurt you at all did he?” he asked Lawliet who shook his head, his face buried in Light’s chest. “I’m so sorry this happened. Rest assured that those in charge at the hospital who moved him without our seeing him will be taken care of, they are the cause of this relapse. You need to try and sleep now Lawliet, you must be exhausted.” The boy shook his head, never raising it from Light’s chest. 

“I can’t, I can’t sleep! I’ll keep seeing him standing over me again with that knife every time I close my eyes like before. I can’t…I can’t…” he cried burying himself deeper into Light’s chest.

“I’ll get you something to help you sleep, you need to rest, so much as happened today,” Wammy said then left quickly.

Light continued to rub Lawliet’s back, rocking him back in forth in his harms, kissing the top of his head, trying to reassure him that everything was fine now, they were both fine and it was all over.

“It will never be over, not until he’s dead,” Lawliet cried his hands digging into Light’s back.

“No…no he’ll get better Lawliet, and he won’t be a danger to anyone any more. Until then he’s going to be locked away; he won’t be able to get out from that hospital.” Lawliet said nothing, he only continued to cry against Light’s chest.

Wammy came back and quickly walked over to them, moving Lawliet’s clothes to get to his hip.

“I’m giving you something to help you rest,” he told him, then looked at Light, “This should take effect quickly and you both can get some rest.” Lawliet shook his head and began to move away from Wammy.

“I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to sleep, Light don’t let him put me to sleep…” he pleaded trying to get away. Light held onto him tightly talking softly in his ear.

“It will be okay, I’m right here, no one is going to hurt you again,” he whispered holding him tightly against his chest as Wammy administered the shot making the teen cry out softly.

“I’ve got to go meet A, but I will check on you both when I get back,” he squeezed Light’s shoulder then ran out of the room.

Light waited until the shot took effect, feeling Lawliet suddenly relax against him, his hands finally dropping away from clutching his shirt tightly. He lay him down on the bed pulling the blankets over him. He removed his own clothes, then climbed into bed beside him. 

As he gathered Lawliet in his arms again, he finally broke himself. The tears of the terror he felt running in there and seeing BB with a knife over Lawliet, having to watch Lawliet cower in fear, pressed up against the back of the bed as hard as he could nearly killed him. He knew that if BB had decided to hurt him he wouldn’t have been able to reach him before he struck at least once and that could have been enough. He held Lawliet tightly as he cried, his mind going over everything that could have gone wrong and that he could have lost Lawliet.

When he was finally cried out he buried his face in Lawliet’s hair and closed his eyes, trying not to jump at every little sound as he finally fell asleep.


	26. Chapter 26

Metamorphosis – 26

 

Matt opened his eyes to find Mello’s side of the bed empty. He sat up and looked around the room in concern. He knew Mello had been having a difficult night, tossing and turning after what had happened, and he hadn’t really gotten any sleep until the early hours. He got out of bed and grabbed his jeans, pulling them on hurriedly, grabbing his shirt as he went out of the door.

He ran to the main door, knowing that Mello liked to sit outside when he was troubled. He quickly surveyed the areas he usually went to but didn’t see him. “Where the fuck are you?” he muttered under his breath then turned and went back into the building. The only other place he could think was the cafeteria, hot chocolate or coffee would be something he’d go for if he were upset.

He ran in the door and looked around, then exhaled in relief. Mello was slumped in a chair, sitting at a table in the corner. Just as he began to walk towards the table he saw someone else was already moving towards Mello and he stopped in surprise. 

“Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch,” he said and sat down at the table nearest him; there was no way he was going to  
Interrupt, at least not right away.

Near was used to sitting by himself in the cafeteria, it didn’t really bother him to be alone, but it was unusual to see Mello sitting at a table by himself. He, and the rest of the school, had heard about Beyond’s escape and recapture, and he knew how close Mello was to the troubled teen. Right now Mello looked pretty troubled himself, and he was surprised to see that Matt wasn’t with him. He debated with himself what the right thing to do would be, and after a few moments he sighed and made his way over to where Mello was sitting.

“Would you care for a little company?” he asked quietly when he got to the table, “Actually, I think you need a little company.” Mello looked up from his cup of hot chocolate and gazed at him. Part of him wanted him to just go away, and another part of him was actually touched. 

“Yea, you can sit down,” he said with a shrug, “Just don’t expect much conversation, I’m not in the mood.” Near nodded and sat down, his hands wrapped around his own cup of chocolate.

“I know what happened last night, and I’m really sorry, Mello. It’s obvious you haven’t slept much, and I can’t blame you. I don’t have any close friends, but if I did, I believe I would be just as distressed as you appear to be.” Mello looked at him briefly before looking back at his hot chocolate.

“Yea, thanks,” he said and then looked at him again, “No, you don’t have any close friends do you? What’s the matter, don’t you like anything that isn’t plastic?” Near chuckled and picked up the robot that was lying on the table next to his cup, his other hand playing with his hair.

“I have discovered that most people don’t like me, and I don’t endeavor to make them change their minds,” he said running his fingers over the toy, “I don’t mind being alone, I rather enjoy it and my toys give me all the companionship I need.” He looked up at Mello who was looking back at him with a questioning expression on his face. At least he no longer looked upset, so his company seemed to be helping.

“I live with a foster family, a family of many foster children as the parents are trying to make as much money as possible from the government and so there is little to no privacy. Being here is the only time I have any space to myself and my toys don’t talk,” he grinned at Mello, “But you don’t want to hear about me, I’m supposed to be keeping you cheery company!” Mello blinked and then laughed. That had to be the first time he’d ever heard Near say anything even remotely funny. Of course it wasn’t as if he’d given him the opportunity to before anyway, he was so busy being a bitch to him.

“Sorry for your home life, no wonder you stay alone all the time,” he sighed, “Look, I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you before. Matt had to kick my ass and show me what a jerk I was being, and I’m really sorry.” Near shrugged and sipped at his hot chocolate.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” he sipped again then looked around the room, “I haven’t seen Light or Lawliet…are they okay?” Mello nodded with a sigh.

“I haven’t seen them since last night, but other than being scared out of his mind I think Lawliet’s okay, and Light’s not going anywhere until he’s sure he is anyway.” He found he really didn’t want to discuss that situation anymore and changed the subject.

“So what are your plans when we graduate?” he asked and Near smiled.

“I will take Watari up on his offer to give us living quarters here on campus. I have no desire to return to the nest, and as I am now 18 and no longer a ward of the state, they probably won’t want me back since they can no longer collect on me. I’m rather looking forward to this, and working with all of you. I hadn’t really thought of a future for myself until this came up, and I believe I will be quite happy with this.” 

“Yea, Matt and I decided we needed to get out of here, we’re moving to the city, taking Alexander with us, and we can continue to learn and work together that way, and maybe start doing little jobs on our own…” he stopped when he looked up and saw Matt walking towards him. 

Matt watched them talk for a few moments, and when he was sure that Mello was being civil he got up and made his way to their table.

“Try not to scare me like this next time," he said as he sat down, "Leave me a note or something." He looked over at Near with a smile. “Thanks for looking out for him, he needs so much attention.” Near nodded and began to gather his things.

“I didn’t mind, he just looked like he could use some company. Now that you’re here I’ll get my breakfast and go back to my room,” 

“Thanks for the company Near,” Mello said and Near smiled and nodded before walking away. Mello looked over at Matt and sighed.

"Sorry, about just leaving, I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to keep you awake." 

"It's okay, I just panic easily," he watched him play with his cup for a few minutes before he said anything else. "Tell me what you're thinking, why you couldn't sleep. I mean, I can guess the basics, but something has to be going on in there.” He added pointing to Mello’s head.

"Everything's all fucked up and backwards," the blonde said finally, "The strongest personality I've ever known is shattered like a water glass, and the one that was so fragile is now being so strong I don't know how he's doing it. Everything we planned over the past few months is gone."

"It's not gone babe, it's just postponed for a while as far as B's concerned. He'll get better, he'll get out, and everything can pick up where it left off." Mello snorted laughter and shook his head.

"That's bullshit and we both know it," he said, "When B gets out, are you going to tell me that you're not going to look at him differently from now on? That you're not going to be looking over your shoulder all the time, wondering what could set him off again? Don't lie and tell me you're not because I know I'm going to and he's my best friend. I can't look at him the way I used to, I can't think about him the way I used to and that pisses me off!"

Matt sighed and nodded. "Okay, yea you're right about that, but I think after a while we'll stop looking at him that way. We can't help being cautious about him after what he's done Mello, that's just natural."

"I don't want to look at him differently, I shouldn't. A doesn't, I know he doesn't."

"They have a different relationship Mello, I wouldn't look differently at you afterwards if it had been you. I love you and nothing would change that," he chuckled, "I might lock up all the knives..." Mello looked up at him as if he were angry at what he’d just said...but then started laughing.

“How do you manage to always make me laugh,” he said shaking his head, “No matter how shitty I feel.”

“It’s my job, I’m good at it,” he said and then looked around the cafeteria, “Breakfast is on, and I’m starving. You want me to get you something?” Mello shook his head.

“I’ll come with you, I could stand some food now myself,” they stood up but before walking towards the food line, Mello grabbed Matt’s hand, “Thank you,” he said and Matt smiled with a shrug.

“Thank me later when we’re alone,” he said with a lecherous wiggling of his eyebrows that make Mello laugh again, and realize just how much better he was feeling, and how much he needed Matt.

 

Lawliet’s eyes shot open and he sat up quickly, his heart pounding as he fully expected to see his brother standing over him. He quickly looked around and took a deep breath when he realized he was being foolish, he was alone. He immediately regretted moving so quickly, groaning in pain. He looked over in the bed and began to panic again when Light’s side of the bed was empty. He began to slide out of the bed, grimacing a little in pain from his wound, but he had to find Light.

“Light? Light!! Light where are you?” he called trying to make it to the door. The door opened and Light ran in, frowning when he saw he was out of bed. He wrapped his arms around him and moved him back to the bed.

"Where the hell did you think you were going?" he asked crossly, "Haven't you had enough drama for a while?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't see you, I didn't know where you were, I had to find you," Lawliet said practically babbling and trembling in Light's arms.

"Sorry, but I had to go to the bathroom, and I'd rather do that alone," he said with a chuckle as he put L back into the bed. Lawliet looked up at him ashamed at his behavior and then chuckled himself before heaving a sigh.

"I didn't think about that, I'm just...I'm just afraid of everything right now and I hate feeling that way," he complained. Light sat next to him and ran a hand through his hair.

"I think that's completely understandable under the circumstances. But as far as your brother's concerned, I think we've seen the last of him until he's better. They're not that stupid where he is now. So just relax about him and work on healing."

"I have cases that I need to be working on, they're waiting for answers and so much time has been lost..."

"The cases will be there, you need to heal. Probably you can do some work while you're in bed, as long as you don't overdo it. And don't forget you still have some school work to do, we graduate in just a matter of weeks."

"I'm not worried about schoolwork, that isn't important to me," Lawliet said stubbornly, "It's my cases..."

"Lawliet you've got the rest of your life to be this mysterious detective L, right now you need to work on being Lawliet the student. More importantly you need to relax and heal before you can do anything.' Lawliet crossed his arms and pouted, a look Light couldn't help but adore.

"Fine," he said and then softened, "Do you think for a couple of days you could do your school work here? I’m…I just don’t want to be alone right now.” He asked looking down at the floor. Light smiled and nodded as he squeezed Lawliet’s hand.

“Of course, I’m sure I can work that out for the rest of this week, or until you feel comfortable being alone again. Okay?” L nodded.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a problem, and I’m just…” Lawliet began to apologize and Light shushed him and kissed him softly.

“It’s okay, I understand. I’m sure you’ll be fine after a few days,” they both looked toward the door when they heard a sound from the main room. Lawliet looked terrified and Light shook his head. “It’s okay, I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably Wammy coming in to check on you.” He went to the bedroom door and opened it and sighed in relief when he found he was right, and Wammy was bringing a trolley into the main room.

“It’s just Wammy with breakfast. I’ll be right back.” He called over his shoulder and went out into the main room, closing the door behind him.

“Good morning Light,” Wammy said with a smile, “Is he awake?” Light nodded and then sighed.

“He is, but Wammy he’s so scared of everything. I got up to go to the bathroom while he was asleep and he completely freaked when he woke up and found me gone. I’m really worried about that.” Wammy nodded his understanding and sighed himself.

“I’m not surprised, but I think he’ll be alright in a few days. You have to admit he’s every right to be frightened after looking up and seeing his worst nightmare in his room yesterday.”

“Yes, of course but I’m just concerned,” he stopped and ran a hand through his hair, “How did it go with Beyond after he arrived at the hospital?”

“As long as A was there with him he was fine; A talked to him, promised he’d see him every day and was always going to be there for him. I must say, seeing this side of Alexander after seeing the very timid and quiet side of him for so long is definitely amazing to see.” Light nodded as he looked at what Wammy had brought for breakfast.

“Just goes to show you don’t know what you’re capable of until you’re forced,” the bedroom door opened and Lawliet came out, the aroma from the cart obviously bringing him into the main room.

“Is it alright if I eat out here? I just have to get away from that bed for a few minutes at least,” he asked and Wammy nodded. Light went to him and helped him move over to the couch to sit down.

“I think that would be fine as long as you stay in one place,” Wammy finished, bringing him a tray and a plate of food as he sat on the couch, “Light, I brought enough for both of you so you eat as well.” Wammy told him and he nodded taking a plate and sitting next to L.

“Wammy, I really need to work,” Lawliet said earnestly, “I…really need to.” Both Light and Wammy understood he needed to do it to get his mind off of Beyond.

“That’s fine. While you eat I’ll gather up the files from my office and bring them here. We’ve already received several inquiries in response to the cases you’ve already done. I have a feeling this is going to be very big, very quickly.” He smiled and left them alone to finish their breakfast.

“So what happens if this L thing gets really big?” Light asked after a few moments, “What will all that entail for you?” Lawliet shrugged as he chewed on a piece of toast covered in butter.

“I don’t know, I can’t imagine anything will really change that much. Especially if I stay relatively hidden as Wammy wants to do,” he grinned. “I sort of like the idea of being the mysterious, unknown detective in the background.” Light laughed and shook his head.

“It does sound kind of cool,” he admitted, “But it also sounds like it could be dangerous once you get well known. “ 

“No one will know who I am, so it doesn’t matter,” he smiled at him, “Why are you worried about me?” Light rolled his eyes.

“No, I can’t imagine why you would even suggest such a thing” he said, then reached over and ran his fingers across Lawliet’s cheek. “Well, maybe a little,” he added.

“I’ll be fine,” he assured him, then leaned against him. “You’ll be with me.” He said and Light put his arm around him and chuckled.

“Absolutely. After everything we’ve been through, anyplace else would just be boring,” he said. Lawliet turned away from him as he reached for his coffee.

“Well, I’m glad I keep you entertained,” he said indignantly, his nose going into the air. That only made Light laugh more and he wrapped his arms around him.

“You know you love me,” he said and kissed the back of his neck.

“You just wait until I’m healed Light Yagami,” Lawliet warned leaning against him, “I’m going to remember all of these slights.” 

“I’m looking forward to it,” Light answered and then kissed him deeply before pulling away with a sigh and adjusting his pants. “Let’s get back to breakfast before I forget myself.” Lawliet smiled apologetically.

“Hold on to that feeling, it won’t be too much longer before I can help relieve that little problem of yours,” he said and it was Light’s   
turn to look indignant.

“LITTLE problem?” he repeated making Lawliet burst into the first real laughter he could remember enjoying in weeks.

A knocked on Wammy’s door, a little concerned at why he’d been called in to see him. He was afraid it was going to be bad news about Beyond; or maybe his grades. He had been visiting Beyond every day after classes were over, taking his homework with him so he could stay with him as long as possible and yet still keep up with his studies. He hadn’t thought it had affected his grades at all, he knew he was more tired these past few weeks so maybe he just hadn’t noticed. He opened the door when he heard Wammy tell him to come in, and nervously walked in.

“Good morning Alexander,” Wammy said with a smile, “Please have a seat,” He gestured to the chair directly in front of his desk.

“Good morning Mr. Wammy,” he answered sitting down, “I came as soon as I got your note; am I in trouble?” Wammy chuckled and shook his head.

“Not at all,” he said, “As a matter of fact I’m rather impressed with how you’ve been handling things these past few weeks since Beyond’s last situation. I called you here because I have a favor to ask you, to help Beyond.” A sat forward in the chair looking earnestly at Wammy.

“What can I do to help him?” he asked, “I’ll do anything…”

“I know you will, Alexander, and this is what I’d like you to do,” he pointed to one of two piles of books on his desk, “These are his books that I picked up from his teachers, along with workbooks, assignments. I’d like you to take these to him the next time you visit, help him work through his classes this way. I believe he’ll get through these without a problem and acquire enough points to be able to graduate with the rest of the class. Of course he won’t be able to attend, but you could bring him his diploma. I believe it would be good for him, boost his spirits and make him feel accomplished. If there are any classes he needs help with, you tell me and we’ll have the teacher prepare a lesson to help him. What do you think?”

“I think it’s a great idea,” A said excitedly, “It will keep his mind occupied; he’s having a difficult time with keeping his thoughts…where they should be. They’ve changed his medications so he’s better but part of the problem is he’s so bored all he can do is think and go over everything that’s happened. Thank you Mr. Wammy, this will help him so much!” He reached over and grabbed the pile of books and papers. “I’ll make sure he gets started today when I go to visit.” Wammy nodded and sat back in his chair.

“Very good Alexander. Just don’t forget to take some time for yourself, do not get over tired or your grades will suffer. If there are any problems, let me know immediately.” A nodded and stood up, moving quickly to the door, then stopped and turned around.

“He is going to be himself again, isn’t he Mr. Wammy?” he asked and the older man smiled at him.

“With your help Alexander, I have no doubt. Don’t expect miracles right away, but I’m sure he will recover.” A smiled and nodded and then went out of the office. 

Wammy stood up and picked up the second pile of books at the other end of his desk. Now if only Lawliet would be as eager to get his schoolwork done as he was sure Beyond was going to be. He sighed and left his office.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My deepest apologies for such a long time between chapters. My health was a little crazy, and after a couple of really nasty reviews I admit I was a bit shaken for a while and it took me a while to get enough nerve to write again. But I've also had some wonderful notes from so many of my readers that have made me realize that I'm writing for you guys, not the ones who are finding so much fault with me. Don't get me wrong, I want criticism, I want people to tell me if I'm doing something incorrectly, or if I'm not making sense, or something like that, but the personal attacks I was receiving as well as a total misunderstanding of what I was writing really bothered me. But I'm back, and I hope it's okay. Thank you for waiting.

Metamorphosis 27

 

“I’ll be right back,” Light told him as he went to the door, “I have to turn in a few papers and this report and pick up whatever new projects they’ve come up with, unless you’d rather I stay. I can get someone else to do that for me…” Lawliet looked up from his laptop and shook his head.

“I’ll be fine, I’m sure you won’t be gone too long,” he assured him not happy that he didn’t sound as sure as he wanted to. Light nodded and picked up the things he needed before going to the door.

“I’m locking the door behind me, not that I think it’s necessary but I think you’ll feel better if I do.” Light added as he opened the door and then smiled back at him. “You should get up from that desk and lay down for a while anyway.” Lawliet waved him away with his hand.

“I’m fine. Go do your errands and don’t worry about me,” he told him without even looking up from the screen. Light watched him type furiously on his keyboard for a moment, then turned and left the room. As long as he was working he knew he’d be fine, but he didn’t want to leave him alone for very long. He knew Lawliet was putting on more of a brave face than he actually felt anyway. He locked the door and then sprinted down the stairs.

The moment he heard the lock turn in the door Lawliet stopped typing and released a shaky breath. He hoped he had convinced Light that he was alright being alone for a bit; it was bad enough he had asked Light to stay with him instead of going to classes, he didn’t want him to know just how scared of being alone he really was. He got up from behind the desk and slowly walked to the door, checking to make sure it was indeed locked. He walked back to the desk and sat down, telling himself how ridiculous he was being, everything was fine, B was locked away, no one was going to hurt him. He went back to the case he was working on, his eyes darting to every shadow and corner of the room as he went back to his desk. He began to type and then angrily shoved the laptop away from him. He was angry that B had done this to him, angry that his brother had so much power over him still, and angry that he couldn’t control his own fear. “I won’t let you do this, I won’t let you control me!” he shouted to the empty room as he got control of himself. He reached for the laptop again began to work, pushing his fear out of his mind.

By the time he got to the bottom and had entered the general area Light heard someone calling his name and he stopped with a sigh, knowing exactly who it was. He turned around to see Misa moving quickly to catch up with him, a smile on her face that made him wonder what was going on.

“Light! Wait for a moment I want to talk to you,” she called out as she moved towards him.

“Misa, I don’t think we have very much to say to each other anymore, and after what you did to Lawliet…” she stopped and sighed.

“I know, and I’m sorry Light, I really am. I was just so angry and hurt and I know that if he didn’t exist we’d still be together and I just…lashed out. It’s that I do really love you Light.” He looked at her sadly and ran a hand through his hair.

“You’re right Misa,” he answered, “If Lawliet didn’t exist, we probably would be together and we would be living a lie,” he sighed and looked away, “If that’s all you wanted to talk about we’re done. I appreciate your apology but I have to get to my classes…” he began to move away.

“No, that wasn’t all. I am sorry for hurting him if only because it hurt you, and I don’t want you mad at me. But my main reason for looking for you is because my parents are planning to come for graduation.”

“That’s very nice for you, I’m sure they’ll be proud of you,” he answered and again tried to move away.

“They gave me a message to give to you,” she said quickly. “They understand that after what happened to you and Lawliet that there were bound to be feelings that happened between you, you know shared trauma feelings, but they think that maybe after time has gone by that will wear off.” 

“Misa they don’t understand anything if that’s what they think,” he said, a little anger beginning to show.

“Well…they also said that they would be happy to take you home with us after graduation, and explain everything to your parents and pick up where we left off before all of this. You could patch everything up with your family again. Light, my parents really like you and they know how much I love you and…..”

“Misa stop!” he shouted to stop her from going any further, “While I appreciate what your family is trying to do, there is no patching anything up with my family, I’ve already made peace with that. But I have cared for Lawliet for a long time, this hasn’t just happened after the attack. But it was the attack that made me not want to hide it anymore because I could have lost him and never had this chance. I am really sorry you’re getting hurt by this, but there is never going to be a time when I don’t love Lawliet and come back to you, especially since you never really had me in the first place. I’m very sorry, but the sooner you realize that the better it’s going to be for you. I will always be your friend Misa, but that’s all I can ever be to you.”

“Maybe, but maybe not,” she answered, “I just wanted to let you know what my parents said, just in case you realized you made a mistake,” she smiled at him, “And that I’ll be waiting if you do.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. 

“I have to get to my teachers and get a list of assignments for the week so I can keep an eye on Lawliet,” he said moving away, “Excuse me.” He moved quickly to his first class and took a deep breath. Obviously she wasn’t going to believe it until she was on the plane to Japan and he wasn’t there. He couldn’t really blame her, he couldn’t a remember a time that their parents hadn’t been grooming them both for marrying each other; if anyone was to blame it was their parents and she got caught in the middle. He sighed again as he moved quickly down the hall; he couldn’t worry about that right now, he had to get his work so he could get back to Lawliet. 

Wammy knocked on Lawliet’s door before trying to open it. When he realized it was locked he knocked again and when he still didn’t get an answer he began to be concerned. He pulled the key from his pocket and opened it quickly. “Lawliet?” he called as he walked into the room. He closed the door and as he walked further in he saw the reason why he hadn’t answered. Lawliet had fallen asleep at the desk, draped over his laptop. 

“Lawliet….” He said as he gently shook the boy’s shoulder; “You should go back to bed…” Lawliet’s eyes opened slowly and he lifted his head. His eyes were out of focus as he became aware, and all he saw was a shadowy figure looming over him. Lawliet started violently, crying out and falling backwards in an effort to pull away from the figure, the chair flying backwards sending the teen crashing to the ground. His hands immediately coming up in self-defense against whatever attack he was sure was coming, as he cried “No…please” over and over, his eyes shut tightly.

“Lawliet it’s me, it’s Wammy!” the older man said as he rushed to help him, “It’s only me,” he said again as he reached for his arms to calm him down. Lawliet pulled away before the words penetrated the terror in his mind and he finally opened his eyes.

“Wammy?” he asked, his eyes still wide with fear and darting all around the room.

“Yes, son it’s me; no one else is here. You fell asleep at the computer and I tied to wake you…”

“He wasn’t here? I…I thought he was here, I thought he was going to kill me,” he burst into tears as Wammy pulled the trembling teen against him, 

“It’s alright, he’s not here, you’re safe,” he told him in a soothing voice.

“I’m so afraid, I don’t want to be afraid,” he cried against him, “I can’t be afraid, L’s not afraid…” the words coming out almost in a babbled stream as if trying to convince himself.

“You are allowed to be afraid of being hurt,” Wammy told him, “You’ve suffered a great trauma at the hands of your own flesh and blood, that’s enough reason. But you must realize that he is locked away from you, he is not able to get to you to hurt you, and in time he will no longer want to hurt you. Now come, get off of the floor and let me put you to bed.” He said as he began to help him to his feet.

Light frowned when he used his key to open the door and discovered it was unlocked. He was sure he had locked it, he knew he had…he quickly opened the door and with one look at the situation he was running across the room, dropping books and papers as he did.

“God…Lawliet…what happened…are you okay?” he asked moving to hold him. Lawliet immediately moved from Wammy to Light’s arms. 

“He awoke from a nap very badly I’m afraid,” Wammy said watching him, “He needs to go to bed, he took a bad spill.” Light nodded and began to walk with him to the bedroom.

“I’m sorry Light, I’m just so scared all the time….” Light shushed him as they got into the bedroom.

“It’s okay, I’m not going to leave you alone again until you get over this, it’s okay,” he assured him and helped him get into bed, frowning at how much he was still trembling.

“I’ll make him some tea, that will help calm him,” Watari offered from the doorway and Light nodded as he made sure Lawliet was safely in bed. He moved to go back into the living room to pick up his books and papers and Lawliet’s vice grip on his arm stopped him. 

“It’s okay babe, I’m just going to get my things so I can work right here, they’re just in the living room, I’m not leaving the apartment.” Lawliet relaxed his grip and Light leaned down to kiss his cheek, then moved quickly into the next room to gather his things and his laptop, moving quickly to get back into the bedroom.

Watari came in with a tray with tea for both of them and snacks and set them on the bedside table. He touched Lawliet’s forehead to make sure he wasn’t feverish and handed him a cup. His trembling hands made it difficult to hold on to so Light took the cup and brought it to his mouth. He looked up at Watari worriedly as Lawliet took a sip of the tea. 

“You’ll be alright soon Lawliet,” his mentor assured him, “Right now you need to calm and rest. You’ll feel better after you’ve done that.”

“I don’t want to be so afraid Wammy, how do I stop?” Lawliet asked and Watari sighed.

“With time, that’s all. Your mind will soon realize there is no longer any danger to you and you will be fine,” he looked at Light, “I’ve got to get to my office, don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything.” Light nodded and thanked him as he turned back to Lawliet, giving him more tea.

After a few minutes Lawliet was able to hold it himself, the warmth running down his throat and calming him just as Watari had suggested it would. He was finally able to take a deep breath without shaking. “I’m sorry Light, I’m making it so difficult for you and I don’t mean to.” Light shook his head and took the empty cup from him.

“It’s alright, the only thing I’m missing is not being in those classes which I’m certainly not upset about,” he chuckled, “And nothing means as much to me as you do.” Lawliet nodded and then studied him.

“Why aren’t you bothered as much as I am?” he asked after a moment. “I mean he tried to kill you too!” Light shrugged.

“First of all my wounds were a lot less serious than yours, secondly he isn’t my brother. Yes it did bother me of course the first couple of weeks afterwards after being attacked, but we were in the hospital together, I knew he couldn’t get to us there…I was more concerned about your more serious wounds,” he shrugged, “but that doesn’t matter, what matters is getting you through this. Do you want more tea?” Lawliet shook his head and lay down all the way.

“I’m just very tired right now, would you mind if I took a nap?” he asked and Light shook his head.

“Of course not, you sleep, and I’ll be right here working while you sleep,” he leaned forward and kissed him gently. “I love you, get some rest.” L nodded and closed his eyes.

“Thank you, I love you too, and I’m sorry,” he whispered before drifting off to sleep.

Light watched him for a while, in case he had trouble sleeping but he seemed to be okay. He got on the other side of Lawliet and spread out his papers, turned on his laptop and began to work.


	28. Chapter 28

Metamorphosis 28

 

A made it to the hospital just as Beyond was being served dinner. Everything in his bag was searched thoroughly before he was allowed into the room.

“He needs that to do his school work,” he said when the orderly pulled the pens from the bag.

“Anything that can be used as a weapon has to be confiscated,” he was told.

“I’m going in there with him, he’s not going to use the pen against me. How else is he going to get his work done?” he demanded and the orderly thought for a moment.

“Alright, but just one and it has to be in full view at all times. Any aggressive behavior and I’m coming in to take it, and you’re leaving.” A bit his tongue to keep the answer he wanted to give from coming out and just nodded. He grabbed everything and walked through the doors when he was buzzed in. He smiled when he saw BB sitting at the small table in his room, eating.

“I hope the food here is decent,” he said as he walked in. BB looked up at him, and flashed him a grin. It was a little crooked, and by the look in his eyes A could see he had recently been given something.

“Hey,” he said and stood up, reaching over to hug him tightly against him. “I’m sorry if I sound stupid, they gave me something different today. They say they’re trying to find the right one for me, but in the mean time they just fuck me up.” A kissed him and ran and smiled.

“I understand, my doctor did the same to me until they found the one that worked the best, you’ll be okay soon,” he looked down at his dinner, on paper plates, with a plastic fork. They wouldn’t even give him a plastic knife. “Does it at least taste decent?” he asked as he they sat down together.

“I dunno, don’t really taste it, but I think so.” Beyond answered with a shrug. “They’ve probably drugged the food too.” He chuckled.

“No, they wouldn’t do that,” A assured him and then put the books down on the table. “Mr. Wammy asked me to bring your school work with me. This way you can keep up with us and get your diploma at the same time with the rest of us.” Beyond looked at the pile of books and notebooks and laughed.

“Like I’m worried about getting a diploma right now,” he said and leaned back in the chair, “I don’t really give a fuck.” A sighed and then smiled at him. 

“I know you don’t right now, but that will change. You‘re not going to be in here forever B, we still have all of our plans in place. I want you to be ready to jump right back into them when you do get out. I know you want that too.” Beyond looked at him and then smiled.

“Yea…maybe,” he answered and swirled his fork through his food, “If you want me to, I’ll do it,” he said, “It’s the least I can do since you haven’t turned away from me.”   
“B I will never turn away from you, even if you decide you don’t want to do the work, for whatever reason. I love you, and you stood by me when I was really bad.” He leaned forward and kissed him until Beyond started to giggle.

“We’re so fucked up,” he said, “We have to stay together no one else would want us!” A laughed with him.

“That’s alright, it makes us unique,” he said and then opened one of the notebooks, “I wrote down what you have to read and what the work is they want you to do for each subject,” he said, “But if you have any questions, let me know. I’m going to work on my own homework while you do your work.” Beyond nodded and then was quiet for a moment and fidgeted with his fork for a moment before saying anything.

“How is Lawliet?” he asked quietly. A looked at him in slight surprise.

“He’s okay,” he answered, “He’s still got a ways to go, but he’s okay.” 

“I don’t really want him dead, you know that,” Beyond said, “But I don’t want anything to do with him either. This is all…because of him.” A didn’t think this was a good subject for Beyond to deal with yet.

“Well…I don’t think you should worry about that right now. Everything that happened has a lot of reasons that we can talk about later. Right now, finish your dinner so we can go over your school work. Okay?” Beyond looked up at him with a small smile and nodded.

 

Lawliet woke up with a start, feeling groggy and warm. He really had to go to the bathroom but every time he tried to sit up he got dizzy and pain radiated up from his wound. He looked over at Light who was still sleeping and the last thing he wanted to do was bother him but he didn’t think he’d be able to get out of bed on his own. He didn’t know what he‘d done, but he was definitely paying for it now. He reached over and began to gently shake Light.

“Light…wake up Light,” he said softly then a wave of pain forced him to stop. Light’s eyes opened the moment he heard Lawliet’s voice and began to sit up.

“I’m awake…What’s the matter?” he asked looking around before looking at Lawliet. The moment he did he sat up straight; Lawliet looked paler than usual, was sweating and was obviously in pain.

“I don’t know, I had to go to the bathroom but I couldn’t get up…my back hurts.” Light wrapped an arm around him and helped him sit up.

“Alright, let me get you to the bathroom and then I’ll call Wammy, you might have opened your wounds between Misa and Beyond.” He said swinging his legs around and planting both feet on the floor. He then stood up, bringing Lawliet with him. He helped him into the bathroom and then went for his phone, calling Wammy and telling him all of Lawliet’s symptoms. Wammy told him he’d be right there, and to get him back into bed. Just as he closed the call he heard a crash in the bathroom and ran in, finding Lawliet on his knees and trying to stand up.

“I was just washing my hands,” he tried to explain as Light wrapped his arms around him, “And my legs just gave out.”

“It’s okay,” Light told him as he practically carried him back to the bedroom, “Wammy’s on his way, you need to lay back down.” He put him on his stomach knowing Wammy would want to look at his back. He looked down at it himself and he could see swelling and long red streaks coming from under the dressing, something was definitely wrong.

“Don’t worry, you might need some extra medicine, but you‘re going to be okay,” Light said trying to reassure him as he ran a hand through Lawliet’s hair.

“I’m sorry I had to wake you,” Lawliet apologized, “But I just couldn’t get up…”

“It’s okay, I would have been angry if you’d tried to do this on your own and had hurt yourself even more,” Light assured him and then started when he heard the front door opening.

“It’s alright it’s just me,” he heard Wammy’s voice calling to them as he came in. He moved quickly into the bedroom and immediately walked to Lawliet’s side. He placed a hand on his forehead and frowned, then looked down at the bandage with a deep sigh.

“It is obviously infected Lawliet,” he said, “You need to be seen by your doctor as quickly as possible.”

“Can’t you do something for him,” Light asked, “He’s in pain…”

“I can give him a little something for the pain, he has pain medication here, and we need to work on that fever. I can tell he’s going to need to have that bandage removed, the wound cleaned, possibly the stitches changed as well. All of which needs to be done by his doctor, who probably can’t get here for a couple of hours at least. If you would be kind enough to get him some water,” he said to Light who nodded and moved quickly to get it.

“Wammy I don’t know what happened,” Lawliet said, “I just woke up and I could barely move.”

“I think too much has happened to you, too much strain,” Wammy told him, “I warned you when you came home that you were to do nothing except rest and this is what happens when you disobey. However, what happened when Beyond escaped you cannot be blamed for; but taking Light’s book to him which resulted in Misa attacking you certainly can, and falling asleep over your laptop and falling to the floor.” Light came back with the water as Wammy helped Lawliet turn and sit up.

“I’m sorry Wammy, I didn’t mean to…” he began and Wammy interrupted him.

“Now, swallow these down for the pain,” he said handing him two large pills from one of the bottles on his side table, “Once those take some effect we’ll see how that fever is. For now I’ll get you a cool cloth and I’ll try to cool your body down.” Once he had taken the pills, Wammy helped him back down to lying on his side. He then looked at Light. “I’ll be right back, keep him quiet.” He instructed and left the bedroom. 

Light nodded and pulled a chair to the bed, sitting next to Lawliet and holding one hand. 

“Don’t worry, this will be taken care of,” he assured him and the teen nodded.

“Wammy’s upset with me,” Lawliet whispered tearfully and Light sighed.

“He’s worried about you that’s all,” he answered trying to ignore the tightening he was beginning to feel inside his chest, “Just like I am.” He leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “But you‘re going to be okay so don’t worry. Once the doctor gets here and treats you, you’ll be fine.” L nodded, feeling the effects of the medication.

“This stuff always makes me sleepy,” he complained after a few minutes, “But it does make the pain stop.” Light smiled at him.

“Good, then go back to sleep. The doctor will probably be here by the time you wake up, and I’m going to be right here.” L nodded slowly as his eyes began to close. 

“Don’t be upset with me too,” L managed before he fell asleep. Light watched him until he was sure he was deeply asleep and then pulled his hand from Lawliet’s so he could massage his own temples in an effort to calm himself.

All he wanted was Lawliet to stop hurting and to get well; he wanted this whole nightmare to be over so they could get on with their lives. He had wasted so much time playing games with Misa; if something happened to L before they had a chance to really be. He shook his head, he wouldn't even think about that. He finally had the freedom to be with the one he loved, and everything kept getting in the way. He could feel himself breathing harder, knowing he was beginning to get upset. He could hear his father’s voice telling him men control themselves, it’s the only way they can help the ones they love, that they’re responsible for. Always keep your head clear, don’t let emotions rule you. Everything that had happened, being attacked, losing his family, all of that he had swept under that rule from his father. But that was easy, he could handle that; but what kept happening to L; this just wasn’t fair. He couldn’t handle any more happening to him, to see the pain in his eyes, to see the fear. He shook his head to clear it; he had to stop this. He felt himself getting angry and he stopped it; he had to keep himself under control if he was going to help Lawliet.

“I’ve called his doctor, he should be here within the hour,” Watari was saying as he walked back into the room with a bowl of cool water and a washcloth. He stopped and gazed at Light. “Are you alright?” he asked and Light nodded releasing a long breath.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just worried; I just want him to stop hurting, I want him to be well, I want everyone to stop hurting him.”

“Why don’t you go into the living room and Lie down on the couch until the doctor gets here?” Wammy suggested to him, “You need to relax yourself for a while, this has been just as difficult on you as it has been for Lawliet. So much has happened in your life…” Light shook his head stubbornly.

“I’m not leaving him, I promised him I’d be here,” he told him.

“But he’s asleep Light, he won’t know…”

“I’ll know!” Light snapped, “I’m not leaving him!” Wammy frowned at the barely concealed outburst, wondering just how close Light was to completely breaking down. He’d been concerned about it, with everything that had happened from the attack to his family disowning him, but he seemed to be handling it well. Now he wasn’t so sure.

“Alright son, calm down. You can help me try to cool him down then until the doctor arrives.” Light nodded and took the cloth from him, placing it in the cool water in the bowl Wammy was holding and wringing it nearly dry. He then began to gently pat Lawliet’s face and neck with the cloth, then repeated the process along his chest. Lawliet moaned Light’s name softly when the cool cloth touched his skin but didn’t wake fully.

“I’m here babe,” he whispered back as he continued to pat him with the cloth.

It seemed like forever before Wammy received the call that the doctor had arrived. Light had been diligently cooling Lawliet the entire time as Watari had been monitoring his fever. 

“I’ll be right back with the doctor,” he told the teen and left the bedroom, still concerned.

“Doctor’s here,” Light whispered to the still sleeping Lawliet, “It’s going to be okay.” He leaned down and kissed his forehead, smiling slightly when he felt how much cooler it had become. He turned when he heard the sound of Wammy and the doctor returning to the apartment and coming towards the bedroom. He heard Wammy bringing him up-to-date and held Lawliet’s hand tightly as they came in.

The doctor put his bag on the bed and took a good look at Lawliet’s back. “Definitely a lot of infection here,” he said to them both and removed gloves from his bag. “I’m going to remove this bandage and clean the wound thoroughly, after that I’ll redress it and give him some antibiotics to fight the infection. Now if you would show me where I can wash and I’ll get started.” Wammy nodded and took him to the bathroom, returning quickly. The doctor pulled on his gloves, then reached down to begin. As the bandage began to be pulled off, Lawliet stirred, opening his eyes and starting badly.

“It’s okay, it’s just the doctor,” Light reassured him, “He’s going to clean it and put on clean bandages.” He told him and then frowned when the bandage was removed; the area looking red and raw, some type of drainage was oozing between the stitches.

“If this doesn’t clear with 24 hours he’ll have to go back to the hospital for iv antibiotics and constant care,” the doctor warned, “But I’ll do what I can right now,” he looked over at Watari; “You might want to hold him still, this isn’t going to be pleasant.” He opened several packets, then reached down and began to clean the wound. Lawliet cried out, pulling away from him and the stinging, burning pain he was causing. Wammy held him down, telling him it would be over soon, just to hang on.

Light held his hand tightly, cringing with every cry Lawliet made; feeling that tightness in his chest again as tears filled his eyes. Everyone was hurting Lawliet again, Misa, Beyond and now this doctor. Why was everyone hurting Lawliet; why couldn’t they just leave him alone; just leave him alone and let them be? He began to feel pure fury, reason beginning to leave him as he watched the doctor hurt him again and again; so much so that suddenly Lawliet just stopped moving, his eyes rolling to the top of his head and his hand going limp inside Light’s. That was the final push for Light.

“Leave him alone, stop hurting him,” he said, quietly at first and then he began to get louder, turning on the doctor, pure fury in his eyes. “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” The doctor stopped in surprise and Wammy let go of Lawliet and turned to Light, putting a hand on his arm.

“Come on Light, let’s leave the doctor to finish what he’s doing; he doesn’t mean to hurt Lawliet…”

Light pulled away, holding tighter to Lawliet’s hand as Wammy tried to pull him away.

“No! I’m staying with him, I’m staying with him. Everyone’s trying to hurt him, no one will leave us alone…” he cried and Wammy pulled him harder, as Light began to fight him.

“Light stop it calm down!” Wammy told him, pulling him out of the room, nodding to the doctor to go back to his efforts. “You can’t help Lawliet like this, you have to calm down!!” he said shaking the teen to try to get his attention and stop him from fighting him and ranting. “Lawliet needs you, you have to stop this!!” he shook him again nearly shaking the breath out of him which finally got his attention. Light’s eyes grew wide and he stared up at Wammy before sinking down to his knees and collapsing into tears. Wammy slid down to the floor with him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him against his chest. 

“I’m sorry Wammy, I’m so sorry,” Light cried against him, “I don’t know what happened, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright Light, it’s okay,” he soothed, “This has been a long time coming, I completely understand.” 

“I love him Wammy, I just want to be with him. He’s all I have left and everyone keeps hurting him, it’s like everything wants to keep us from just being together, I just want him to be okay and not hurt anymore!”

“I know, it does seem that every possible obstacle has been placed in front of your relationship doesn’t it?” Wammy asked and then pulled him away from his chest. “But it hasn’t stopped you has it? It’s just a difficult time right now. After this he will start getting better, we will both make sure he doesn’t move from that bed until the doctor says it okay, alright? And then your lives can get started again, and no one, I repeat no one, will hurt him ever again. Do you believe me?” Light got control of himself and wiped his eyes before nodding.

“Alright, good,” Wammy said and helped him stand up, “Now you go into the bathroom and get yourself together. Lawliet’s passed out so he’s not going to feel any more pain right now. You stay out here until the doctor has finished and I’ll bring you back in at that time. I’m sure he’ll be awake again and will want you there. Alright?” Light nodded again and headed towards the bathroom to clean himself up.

Wammy watched him go and sighed deeply. He wished he had paid more attention to Light’s feelings before now; he should have known he was a time bomb of swallowed down emotions waiting for the excuse to blow. For a moment Wammy’s own feelings felt as if they were going to overwhelm him as well. So many things that could have been avoided had he only paid more attention, but his focus has been on the program and not how it could affect those in it. He heard Lawliet whimper softly and he moved quickly to go back to him; he’d have to think about this later.

Within thirty minutes it was done, and the doctor was leaving prescriptions and telling Wammy he’d be back later in the day to check on him, but to call him if the temperature came back or if his pain became unmanageable. Wammy thanked him and walked him out of the apartment and back down to the main doors.

Light was sitting at Lawliet’s bed side gently stroking his damp hair with one hand while holding tightly to Lawliet’s hand with the other. At least he was sleeping peacefully now, no sign of pain on his face and that made him happy. Now that everything had calmed down he began to feel his own exhaustion come over him and he found it difficult to keep his eyes open. He leaned forward and let his head lay on Lawliet’s chest and let his eyes close. 

Watari came back in and found him asleep in the chair. He picked up the blanket at the foot of the bed and placed it around Light’s shoulders. He felt waking him would probably not be best, and certainly separating from Lawliet was definitely not going to happen. He reached down and squeezed his shoulder before gently touching Lawliet’s face, glad to feel the coolness of his skin. He then turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.


	29. Chapter 29

Metamorphosis 29

Near sat down at his usual table in the dining room and began to eat his dinner. He was alone at the moment with the exception of his constant companion robot, but that never bothered him. Sometimes Matt and Mello would join him at meals, but they were visiting Beyond this evening and he assumed they wouldn’t be back until time for the meeting, now that they had resumed.

It had been several weeks since Lawliet had his scare with the infection, and he had been healing well. The meetings had begun again a week ago and he had been up and moving well, spending most of the meeting at his desk with Light hovering nearby. If he remembered correctly the stitches were being removed today and hopefully they would be able to put that entire situation behind them.

He looked up in surprise when he heard the sound of Light’s voice. Since he had been living with Lawliet they took all of their meals in their apartment together, so he was surprised to see him in the dining room. He watched as Light continued to talk to the server and took several of the dessert, strawberry cheesecake, and placed them on the tray. He chuckled, he knew exactly what he was doing. He called to him when he had finished collecting the desserts and Light walked over to his table and sat down.

“Yea, he loves anything with a strawberry on it,” he said, “We don’t have any of this upstairs and I wanted to surprise him with it when he got back from the doctor’s.” Near nodded with a smile.

“Getting the stitches out finally?” he asked as he ate and Light answered with a heavy sigh

“Finally,” he said. “I planned to go with him but he didn’t want me to, said I need a break from worrying about it him.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It seems like this has been going on forever, I’m just glad it’ll be over now.” 

“I can imagine,” Near agreed, “It does seem like this entire situation with Beyond has been going on forever. There isn’t that much time left before graduation, I’m glad we won’t have to dealing with that as well.” 

“I’m just hoping Lawliet can put this behind him. I know he’s trying but he’s having a lot of difficulty with it.” Light worried.

“I’m not surprised, it’s bad enough to be the victim of a violent attack but when it’s your twin brother…” Near began.

“Yea, I know. Right now he’s throwing himself completely into his work, he’s more “L” these days than Lawliet.” 

“It’s a good place to hide while his mind heals,” Near observed, “It’s good he’s got something to lose himself in right now, as long as he doesn’t get carried away. Maybe…” he stopped when he noticed someone else making their way to the table. “Don’t look now but you’re getting company.” He warned him. Light turned to see Misa making her way over to him. He took a deep breath and began to stand up.

“Thanks for the warning. I’ll see you later,” he said picking up the tray.

“Light please wait,” Misa called from behind him. “I haven’t seen you in weeks except in class and then you‘re always in a hurry to talk to me!” she complained.

‘”Sorry Misa, but I have to keep a close watch on Lawliet, I don’t have a lot of extra time right now. As a matter of fact I have to get back and bring him these.” He said moving away quickly.

“But Light we never talk anymore, I have so much to tell you…” she began as he shook his head.

“Maybe another time Misa, but I have to get back now. See you later, Near.” He called over his shoulder as he moved away.

“But…Light!!!” Misa called after him but he was moving quickly and was already out of earshot and heading for the door. She sank into the chair he had recently been in, fighting tears. Near watched her for a moment, slightly annoyed that she was sitting at his table, but letting that go for the moment.

“Misa, have you ever considered just being friends with Light?” he asked. Her head shot up and she stared at him in anger.

“Friends? That’s ridiculous we’ve been friends for years. But we’re supposed to get married…” she began and he shook his head.

“You’re not that stupid,” he told her, “It’s painfully obvious that’s not going to happen.”

“I’m sure everything will go back to normal once Lawliet is well again; he’s just concerned…” she began and Near laughed.

“Stop being a fool,” he said, “I couldn’t care less about this, except that I consider Light a friend and even I’m getting tired of watching you be ridiculous, I can’t imagine how it must be affecting him. If you continue to delude yourself into thinking he’s going to marry you, he’s going to keep avoiding you until you’re on that plane back to Japan. He doesn’t love you Misa, you have to deal with that now no matter how painful. What you should be thinking about is if you want him in your life at all. He is never going to be what you want him to be, but you have a history and I’m sure he would want to continue to have you in his life as long as you stop stalking him. Don’t you want to at least keep him in your life as a friend?” He stood up and gathered his things. “There are only a few weeks left before graduation; if you don’t want to ruin what little time you have left to be in his company, you’d better think about how you’re going to fix this before you never see him again. Also I would think that if you care that much for Light, you’d want him happy and he’s happy with Lawliet. Be honest with yourself for once.” He then turned from her and walked away.

Misa watched him walk away and then kicked his vacated chair. “What do you know about anything?” she spat at the empty chair. “Who are you to lecture me about my Light? I am being honest with myself! Happy with Lawliet? How could he be happy with Lawliet? We were always happy before he met Lawliet! We were always talking about our future together from the time we were kids before he met Lawliet. He always…” She stopped. “He always told me he didn’t love me.” 

She covered her face with her hands and cried as every conversation she’d had with Light ran through her mind. 

Every time he tried to tell her his true feelings, every time he honestly told her he didn’t love her, every time he told her they would never get married. The only time he stopped was when she had reported to his father what he’d been doing with Lawliet and only the fear of being kicked out kept him in line. She knew it then, she just didn’t want to admit it; she always told herself it would change if he just stayed away from Lawliet. But now she was beginning to tire of holding on to that hope. Hearing it from someone else only made it more painfully real to her; Light really didn’t love her and never would.

She admitted to herself that the main reasons she held on to that hope was because she had nothing else. She had grown up believing she and Light would marry, her parents groomed her for it, and she just didn’t know what else to do if that didn’t happen. She wiped her eyes with her fingers as she heard friends coming in and calling her name. She sat up straight and put a smile on her face, she’d think about this later.

Light managed to get the deserts upstairs and in the fridge without dropping them, and right before L and Wammy came in the door. He quickly closed the fridge door and turned to meet them in the living room.

“Everything okay?” he asked and L smiled and nodded as he came to him. He pulled up his shirt and turned around so he could see.

“Look, they’re all gone!” he said excitedly, “And it’s only a little tender, almost nothing!” Light reached out and gently touched the scar.

“I’m so glad this is over,” he said as he ran his fingertips gently over the raised skin, “Now we can just forget it ever happened.” L dropped his shirt and turned around to face him  
“Already forgotten,” he said and leaned forward to kiss him before remembering Watari was right behind him until the older man cleared his throat.

“Before you get carried away, please remember about the cream you’re supposed to apply every day, twice a day, to help lessen the scars,” he reminded him. L sighed and nodded

“I won’t forget,” he said and Light smiled at him.

“No, he won’t forget, I’ll make sure,” he added

“Now I’ll get you some dinner, you need to just relax until it’s time for our meeting.” Wammy added as he walked towards the door, “I’ll be right back,” he said more as a warning than a statement. When the door closed behind him, Lawliet turned back to Light and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a deep kiss. Light was taken by surprise and he was still afraid to hug him back. Lawliet immediately felt his lack of response and pulled away, looking at him questioningly.

“Is something wrong? I thought after all this time…” Light shook his head.

“No there’s nothing wrong, I…I guess I’m afraid of hurting you.” He answered and Lawliet smiled.

“You can’t hurt me, Light. Unless you’re going to tell me you don’t want me anymore,” he looked down at his feet, “I could understand it if that’s the problem, I’ve caused you so much trouble and if you were only staying with me until I healed…” He didn’t finish as Light grabbed him and pulled him against him, kissing him hard. Lawliet’s eyes went wide for a moment and then closed as he returned the kiss, his hands moving up into Light’s hair. They moaned against each other, not realizing until that moment just how much they’d missed this contact. They pulled apart only when they heard Wammy come back through the door.

Wammy smiled to himself as he saw them jump and pull apart as he came into the room. “Don’t be all evening eating dinner, it’s almost time for the meeting,” he said as he pushed the trolley into the room. “I have some paperwork to catch up on from the day, and Roger wishes to complain to me about something or another so I’ll leave you to it.” He turned and went back out as they both embarrassedly mumbled their appreciation.

“We have to get better at hearing him coming,” Light said and Lawliet chuckled.

“Or learn how to lock the door,” he added and then smiled, “Then you do still care about me?” he asked.

“Idiot, I still love you,” Light answered and walked to the refrigerator, “Would someone who doesn’t love you grab all of these risking the wrath of the cafeteria personnel?” He pulled out the desserts he had placed in there earlier and Lawliet ran to him.

“How did you get so many? They usually argue with me when I only want two!” He gathered them and placed them on the table as Light shrugged.  
“I told them they were for you and I guess this is how they showed their concern for your recuperation,” he answered with a shrug, “Strange as it may seem.”  
Lawliet grabbed a fork from the silverware drawer and sat down in front of the several plates, grabbing one and taking a huge bite, closing his eyes in near bliss.  
“You haven’t had your dinner yet,” Light reminded him going to the trolley and getting their dinner, “You should have your dinner before dessert.” Lawliet looked up at him and took an ever bigger bite in defiance.  
“Stop being an ass and eat your dinner when you finish that one,” Light ordered putting Lawliet’s dinner in front of him as he moved the other desserts away.  
“You shouldn’t speak to L that way,” Lawliet told him, “L is about to be known as the world’s greatest detective and he’s…”  
“Going to get his ass kicked if he doesn’t eat his dinner,” Light finished and for a moment Lawliet just stared at him and then broke into laughter.  
“I guess you do love me,” he said as he finished his cheesecake and smiled at him, “Otherwise you wouldn’t care what I ate.”   
“Now that you realize that, Eat Your Dinner,” Light reiterated stressing each word as he picked up his own fork. Lawliet pushed the empty dessert plate away and reached for his dinner, the wide smile still on his face.

“I don’t know about you, but I think Beyond is doing really well,” Matt said as they made their way to Lawliet’s apartment, “He seemed almost his old self. Mello nodded with a smile.

“Almost, but there was still that…that something that wasn’t quite right,” he said, “Something I noticed because I’ve known him for so long. But I’m not going to say that he didn’t show a lot of progress.”

“How long do you think he has to stay there do you think?” Mello sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

“I heard it’s open ended, but at least a year, it all depends on his behavior and how he does with medication and therapy. But you’re right, he did look and sound good and he’s been getting his school work done too, thanks to A. He’s been going to therapy with BB, as well as his own to keep himself going,” he sighed, “Plus doing his own work; I don’t know how he’s getting it all done.”

“Actually it’s the best thing for him,” Matt said as they got to the door, “His big problem had always been a strong sense of inadequacy, that he was nothing except for BB. Now he has been able to prove himself as more capable than he ever thought he was and that’s the best thing that could happen for him.” Mello stopped and looked at him with a loving smile, then leaned to kiss him.

“You always find the best in every shitty situation,” he said, “That’s why I keep you around.” Matt laughed and reached for the door.

“Yea, that and the fact that I can suck the stripes off of a straw,” he said and ran into the apartment. Mello blinked and then laughed as he followed him in.

Near arrived last and made his way to where Light was sitting the moment he came in. He had begun to feel as if he had perhaps overstepped his boundaries by speaking to Misa as he did, and he wanted to warn Light and apologize if it had any repercussions he hadn’t planned on. Once he told Light what he was concerned about, he was surprised when the teen laughed and told him not to worry about it.

“If anything Near, you told her something she needed to hear from someone else besides me and I appreciate your bothering to do it. I’m not worried about hearing anything from her, I can handle whatever she can come up with,” he looked over at Lawliet who was at his desk, hunched over his laptop as Wammy poured coffee for him, “As long as she doesn’t try to hurt Lawliet again, I don’t care what she does.”

“I just wanted to forewarn you and apologize in case she does get out of hand again. As long as he stays out of the general populace she can’t get to him, so I’m sure he’ll be okay,” he said nodding at Lawliet, “Everything go okay with the stitches?” Light nodded with a smile.

“Yes, he’s back to his normal smart ass self now,” he said then looked up as Wammy called the meeting to order. “Time to get to work!” he said as Near nodded and followed him into the main room.

Several hours later, Wammy looked over at the obviously tired teens and smiled. “You’ve all done very, very well, I believe it’s time to call it a night.” They began to put away their notes with tired sighs. “I believe it’s time for you to begin working actual cases,” he added. “There are several that L has not begun to work on yet, and tomorrow I will distribute them for you to work on. I reiterate that these are real, ongoing cases that have been offered to L; and I expect your best work and we will be in contact with the police forces involved. Good night, gentlemen.” The tiredness turned into excitement as they looked forward to actually working on real cases now, the excited chatter lasting as they each went out of the door. 

“I think you made them all happy with that announcement,” Light said as he helped Wammy clear the area, “This is what we’ve all been working towards.” Wammy nodded and smiled.

“And you are all ready for the real thing,” he said, “As well as the fact that there are more cases coming in than I think L can handle at the moment. I’m sure as time goes on he’ll be able to handle more, but I don’t wish to push it at the moment.” Light nodded his agreement.

“Just don’t tell him that,” he said, “He thinks he can do everything.” He laughed.

“I believe in time he will be able to,” Wammy said proudly and headed for the door himself, “Don’t let him stay up too late yet; he isn’t at 100% yet.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” Light answered as Wammy went out, “Good night, Watari.” He said with a grin and Wammy nodded and left. Light locked the door and turned back to Lawliet who was still bent over his laptop.

“Come on L, let’s call it a night,” he called as he walked over to him, “I know you must be tired.” Lawliet looked up from his computer and smiled.

“I didn’t think this meeting would ever end!” he said excitedly and closed the computer, standing up and going to Light, “I love you.” He said before attacking his mouth. Light quickly got over his surprise and returned the kiss and then pulled away.

“You go get into bed, I’ll turn off everything and be right there,” he said, kissed him again and turned to turn off the lights. Lawliet grinned and then ran to the bedroom, stripping off his clothes as he went. He checked under his pillow to see if what he‘d put there earlier was still there and grinned wider when he saw it was. He then lay back on his side and waited patiently for Light.

Light finished and headed for the bedroom and stopped as he walked into the room. There was Lawliet, lying on his side and staring at him, wearing nothing but his smile. He closed the bedroom door behind him and chuckled as he walked over to him, sitting on the bed and kicking off his shoes.

“While I’m flattered I’m not sure what you have in mind is a good idea,” he said and Lawliet sat up with a pout.

“What? Why not? It’s been months Light, I would think you’d want this as much as I do.”

“I never said I didn’t want it,” Light told him with a sad smile, “You have no idea how much I want it, but…you just got your stitches out today…I just don’t know…” Lawliet reached over and began to unbutton his shirt.

“I do, I know…I want…” he started and began to kiss him as he worked on removing Light’s shirt. Light reached up and stopped his hands, pulling away.

“Lawliet…I don’t want to hurt you…I’m afraid of hurting you,” he looked away for a moment, “so many people have already hurt you I don’t want to add to it…” Lawliet stopped and sat back, sadness and disappointment on his face.

“What did I tell you before? That I’m fine, you can’t hurt me…except if you didn’t want me anymore.” Light stared at him, trying not to let the turmoil in his mind take control. He relaxed and allowed Lawliet to take off his shirt.

“Alright, but we’ll take this slowly,” he said, closing his eyes as Lawliet leaned forward and began to kiss his chest. Lawliet nodded as he pushed Light back against the bed.

“Yes…slowly….” he echoed, his hands moving down to undo Light’s belt and his pants as he continued to kiss his chest, “But not that slowly.” He added as he practically yanked Light’s pants off and flung them across the room. Light laughed and then sat up and shook his head, pushing Lawliet down on the bed.

“No, you lie down and just let me do all the work this first time,” he said and stopped the coming protest by reaching down and taking him in his hand and stroking him slowly. 

“Do you have a problem with this?” he asked as Lawliet’s eyes closed and his head pressed against the pillow. He shook his head as he moaned softly.

“No…no…God no!” he panted as he moved against Light’s hand. Light chuckled and moved up to kiss him, moaning himself as Lawliet’s arms came up and around his neck, pulling him against him as he returned the kiss with everything he had.

Light finally pulled away and kissed down his body, finally moving his hand and taking him into his mouth. Lawliet cried out and clutched the side of the bed with new sensation, then reached down, putting his hands in Light’s hair, his hips pushing him deeper into Light’s mouth. 

Light placed his hands on Lawliet’s hips to keep him from moving, his mind still on the freshly removed stitches as he continued to work on him. He sucked gently at first, his tongue swirling around the tip and down again, before taking him as deep into his throat as he could, and sucking hard. He smiled as he felt Lawliet’s body begin to tremble beneath him, the sounds coming from him exciting him as well, and began to move faster as he also slowly inserted one finger into him. Lawliet cried out again, arching his back and pulled Light’s hair as he came suddenly, his body shaking as Light continued to hold him.

Light didn’t let go until he was sure he was finished, then crawled up his body and kissed him before pulling him up into his arms. Lawliet fell against him, his head falling on Light’s shoulder.

“You okay?” Light asked and Lawliet laughed as he nodded.

“I haven’t been this okay in weeks,” he said as he kissed Light’s shoulder, “I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you but it happened so fast…”

“I wasn’t expecting you to warn me,” Light told him as he rubbed his back, “As long as it wasn’t too much.” Lawliet sat up and frowned at him.

“Light you have to stop this, I’m fine. I’m healed, it’s all over, and of course it wasn’t too much. Stop treating me like I’m made of glass and you’re going to break me,” he stopped for a minute, looking down at the bed and trying to compose himself.

“Light, I need everything to go back to the way it was before Beyond attacked us. I’m trying so hard to forget it, put it behind me, but I can’t unless we get back what we were just beginning to have before it happened. You and our relationship is the only thing I have to hold on to and fight against it. ” He looked back at Light, tears standing in his eyes. “Please Light, I need this, we need this. I need you to love me.” He pulled away and reached under the pillow retrieving the bottle of lube he had placed there earlier and tried to smile. “Besides, it’s your turn now.” He placed the bottle in Light’s hands and then laid back on the bed with a grin. “You said you wanted me.”

Light was alarmed at the sight of the tears in Lawliet’s eyes, but couldn’t quite shake the turmoil in his mind, the fear of causing Lawliet any more pain. “Of course I want you Lawliet, of course I love you, I’m just…” Lawliet sat up and took the bottle from him, opening it and pouring it into his own hands. He then reached down and began to apply it to Light in slow strokes.

“Then prove it to me,” he grinned, “We only got the chance to do this once before everything happened. We’ve got to make up for all that lost time.” He dropped the lube and fell back against the bed again. “I love you Light, I want everything back the way it was before, please?” Light sighed and then nodded.

“So do I,” he said, “I love you too and I will prove it to you.” He picked up the lube and began to apply it to Lawliet’s opening, then inserted two fingers as he leaned forward and kissed him. Lawliet groaned against his mouth, trying not to sound as if he were in any pain, knowing Light would probably stop if he thought he was. After a few moments, Light slowly added a third moving them slowly to stretch him, then began to search for that one special spot. Suddenly L’s body tensed and he clutched at the sheets crying out,   
“There it is,” Light said with a triumphant smile and continued to attack it as Lawliet moved even harder against his fingers, his moans of pleasure getting louder with each attack. Light leaned forward and kissed Lawliet’s neck, then up his jawline and finally his mouth. He removed his fingers and positioned himself behind him.

“If you’re ready…” he said and Lawliet nodded and smiled at him lovingly. Light then slowly began to press into him. Lawliet reached up and grabbed Light’s shoulders, his nails digging into them as he tried not to cry out, not wanting to alarm his lover. Light could feel him tense up, and he stopped for a moment, leaning forward to kiss him.

“You have to relax,” he reminded him, “But it’s okay if you want me to stop,” he told him and Lawliet shook his head.

“Don’t you dare, I’ll be fine,” he told him and in proof he moved his hips against him, pulling him in further. Light groaned in pleasure as he slid deeper into the warmth of Lawliet’s body, and he didn’t want to stop now either. Once he was completely engulfed he paused again to give Lawliet time to adjust. Within a few moments Lawliet reached up and kissed him, nodding that he was ready.

Light began to move slowly, pulling out and then slowly pushing back in. He covered Lawliet’s face in kisses, matching his moans with his own as he began to move faster. Lawliet wrapped his legs around Light’s back, moving with him as they found a perfect rhythm together. 

They were both in such need of being together, reaffirming their relationship after everything that had happened. Light finally relaxed once he was sure Lawliet was not in any pain, and he began to lose himself in the intense pleasure, increasing the speed and depth of his thrusts, with Lawliet moving his hips to meet him. At this moment nothing that had happened existed, nothing mattered except the two of them and their sounds of loving each other.

He felt Lawliet begin to tremble again and he knew he was close; so he reached between them and began to stroke him to help him along. Lawliet’s cries of Light’s name echoed through the room as his body arched and he came, his fingers digging deeply into Light’s back. 

As Lawliet’s muscles squeezed around him, Light thrusted into him one last time and came himself, falling forward onto Lawliet for a moment before rolling off of him to his side. He gathered Lawliet into his arms and held him tightly as he caught his breath.

“You’re okay?” he whispered and Lawliet nodded with a smile.

“I’m very okay,” he answered nuzzling against him, “I love you, Light.” Light kissed the top of his head and pulled the blankets up and around them.

“I love you too, Lawliet,” answered and kissed him again, “ You should sleep now,” he told him.

“Okay,” he agreed and then lifted his head, “Everything’s okay now?” he asked. Light pulled him up for another kiss and then pulled him back against his chest.

“Everything’s okay,” he whispered back and held him tightly, watching as Lawliet’s eyes finally closed, then finally allowing his own to do the same.


End file.
